生命不能承受之轻-第4部分

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In　languages　that　derive　from　Latin；　compassion　means：　we　cannot　look　on　coolly　as　others　suffer；　or；　we　sympathize　with　those　who　suffer。　Another　word　with　approximately　the　same　meaning；　pity　（French；　pitie；　Italian；　pieta；　etc。）；　connotes　a　certain　condescension　towards　the　sufferer。　To　take　pity　on　a　woman　means　that　we　are　better　off　than　she；　that　we　stoop　to　her　level；　lower　ourselves。
That　is　why　the　word　compassion　generally　inspires　suspicion；　it　designates　what　is　considered　an　inferior；　second…rate　sentiment　that　has　little　to　do　with　love。　To　love　someone　out　of　compassion　means　not　really　to　love。
In　languages　that　form　the　word　compassion　not　from　the　root　suffering　but　from　the　root　feeling；　the　word　is　used　in　approximately　the　same　way；　but　to　contend　that　it　designates　a　bad　or　inferior　sentiment　is　difficult。　The　secret　strength　of　its　etymology　floods　the　word　with　another　light　and　gives　it　a　broader　meaning：　to　have　compassion　（co…feeling）　means　not　only　to　be　able　to　live　with　the　other's　misfortune　but　also　to　feel　with　him　any　emotion—joy；　anxiety；　happiness；　pain。　This　kind　of　compassion　（in　the　sense　of　souc/r；　wspofczucie；　Mitgefuhl；　medkansia）　therefore　signifies　the　maximal　capacity　of　affective　imagination；　the　art　of　emotional　telepathy。　In　the　hierarchy　of　sentiments；　then；　it　is　supreme。
By　revealing　to　Tomas　her　dream　about　jabbing　needles　under　her　fingernails；　Tereza　unwittingly　revealed　that　she　had　gone　through　his　desk。　If　Tereza　had　been　any　other　woman；　Tomas　would　never　have　spoken　to　her　again。　Aware　of　that；　Tereza　said　to　him；　Throw　me　out！　But　instead　of　throwing　her　out；　he　seized　her　hand　and　kissed　the　tips　of　her　fingers；　because　at　that　moment　he　himself　felt　the　pain　under　her　fingernails　as　surely　as　if　the　nerves　of　her　fingers　led　straight　to　his　own　brain。
Anyone　who　has　failed　to　benefit　from　the　Devil's　gift　of　compassion　（co…feeling）　will　condemn　Tereza　coldly　for　her　deed；　because　privacy　is　sacred　and　drawers　containing　intimate　correspondence　are　not　to　be　opened。　But　because　compassion　was　Tomas's　fate　（or　curse）；　he　felt　that　he　himself　had　knelt　before　the　open　desk　drawer；　unable　to　tear　his　eyes　from　Sabina's　letter。　He　understood　Tereza；　and　not　only　was　he　incapable　of　being　angry　with　her；　he　loved　her　all　the　more。
10
Her　gestures　grew　abrupt　and　unsteady。　Two　years　had　elapsed　since　she　discovered　he　was　unfaithful；　and　things　had　grown　worse。　There　was　no　way　out。
Was　he　genuinely　incapable　of　abandoning　his　erotic　friendships？　He　was。　It　would　have　torn　him　apart。　He　lacked　the　strength　to　control　his　taste　for　other　women。　Besides；　he　failed　to　see　the　need。　No　one　knew　better　than　he　how　little　his　exploits　threatened　Tereza。　Why　then　give　them　up？　He　saw　no　more　reason　for　that　than　to　deny　himself　soccer　matches。
But　was　it　still　a　matter　of　pleasure？　Even　as　he　set　out　to　visit　another　woman；　he　found　her　distasteful　and　promised　himself　he　would　not　see　her　again。　He　constantly　had　Tereza's　image　before　his　eyes；　and　the　only　way　he　could　erase　it　was　by　quickly　getting　drunk。　Ever　since　meeting　Tereza；　he　had　been　unable　to　make　love　to　other　women　without　alcohol！　But　alcohol　on　his　breath　was　a　sure　sign　to　Tereza　of　infidelity。
He　was　caught　in　a　trap：　even　on　his　way　to　see　them；　he　found　them　distasteful；　but　one　day　without　them　and　he　was　back　on　the　phone；　eager　to　make　contact。
He　still　felt　most　comfortable　with　Sabina。　He　knew　she　was　discreet　and　would　not　divulge　their　rendezvous。　Her　studio　greeted　him　like　a　memento　of　his　past；　his　idyllic　bachelor　past。
Perhaps　he　himself　did　not　realize　how　much　he　had　changed：　he　was　now　afraid　to　come　home　late；　because　Tereza　would　be　waiting　up　for　him。　Then　one　day　Sabina　caught　him　glancing　at　his　watch　during　intercourse　and　trying　to　hasten　its　conclusion。
Afterwards；　still　naked　and　lazily　walking　across　the　studio；　she　stopped　before　an　easel　with　a　half…finished　painting　and　watched　him　sidelong　as　he　threw　on　his　clothes。
When　he　was　fully　dressed　except　for　one　bare　foot；　he　looked　around　the　room；　and　then　got　down　on　all　fours　to　continue　the　search　under　a　table。
You　seem　to　be　turning　into　the　theme　of　all　my　paintings；　she　said。　The　meeting　of　two　worlds。　A　double　exposure。　Showing　through　the　outline　of　Tomas　the　libertine；　incredibly；　the　face　of　a　romantic　lover。　Or；　the　other　way；　through　a　Tristan；　always　thinking　of　his　Tereza；　I　see　the　beautiful；　betrayed　world　of　the　libertine。　
Tomas　straightened　up　and；　distractedly；　listened　to　Sabina's　words。
What　are　you　looking　for？　she　asked。
A　sock。　
She　searched　all　over　the　room　with　him；　and　again　he　got　down　on　all　fours　to　look　under　the　table。
Your　sock　isn't　anywhere　to　be　seen；　said　Sabina。　You　must　have　come　without　it。　
How　could　I　have　come　without　it？　cried　Tomas；　looking　at　his　watch。　I　wasn't　wearing　only　one　sock　when　I　came；　was　I？
It's　not　out　of　the　question。　You've　been　very　absent…minded　lately。　Always　rushing　somewhere；　looking　at　your　watch。　It　wouldn't　surprise　me　in　the　least　if　you　forgot　to　put　on　a　sock。　
He　was　just　about　to　put　his　shoe　on　his　bare　foot。　It's　cold　out；　Sabina　said。　I'll　lend　you　one　of　my　stockings。　
She　handed　him　a　long；　white；　fashionable；　wide…net　stocking。
He　knew　very　well　she　was　getting　back　at　him　for　glancing　at　his　watch　while　making　love　to　her。　She　had　hidden　his　sock　somewhere。　It　was　indeed　cold　out；　and　he　had　no　choice　but　to　take　her　up　on　the　offer。　He　went　home　wearing　a　sock　on　one　foot　and　a　wide…net　stocking　rolled　down　over　his　ankle　on　the　other。
He　was　in　a　bind：　in　his　mistresses'　eyes；　he　bore　the　stigma　of　his　love　for　Tereza；　in　Tereza's　eyes；　the　stigma　of　his　exploits　with　the　mistresses。
11
To　assuage　Tereza's　sufferings；　he　married　her　（they　could　finally　give　up　the　room；　which　she　had　not　lived　in　for　quite　some　time）　and　gave　her　a　puppy。
It　was　born　to　a　Saint　Bernard　owned　by　a　colleague。　The　sire　was　a　neighbor's　German　shepherd。　No　one　wanted　the　little　mongrels；　and　his　colleague　was　loath　to　kill　them。
Looking　over　the　puppies；　Tomas　knew　that　the　ones　he　rejected　would　have　to　die。　He　felt　like　the　president　of　the　republic　standing　before　four　prisoners　condemned　to　death　and　empowered　to　pardon　only　one　of　them。　At　last　he　made　his　choice：　a　bitch　whose　body　seemed　reminiscent　of　the　German　shepherd　and　whose　head　belonged　to　its　Saint　Bernard　mother。　He　took　it　home　to　Tereza；　who　picked　it　up　and　pressed　it　to　her　breast。　The　puppy　immediately　peed　on　her　blouse。
Then　they　tried　to　come　up　with　a　name　for　it。　Tomas　wanted　the　name　to　be　a　clear　indication　that　the　dog　was　Tereza's；　and　he　thought　of　the　book　she　was　clutching　under　her　arm　when　she　arrived　unannounced　in　Prague。　He　suggested　they　call　the　puppy　Tolstoy。
It　can't　be　Tolstoy；　Tereza　said。　It's　a　girl。　How　about　Anna　Karenina？　
It　can't　be　Anna　Karenina；　said　Tomas。　No　woman　could　possibly　have　so　funny　a　face。　It's　much　more　like　Karenin。　Yes；　Anna's　husband。　That's　just　how　I've　always　pictured　him。　
But　won't　calling　her　Karenin　affect　her　sexuality？　
It　is　entirely　possible；　said　Tomas；　that　a　female　dog　addressed　continually　by　a　male　name　will　develop　lesbian　tendencies。　
Strangely　enough；　Tomas's　words　came　true。　Though　bitches　are　usually　more　affectionate　to　their　masters　than　to　their　mistresses；　Karenin　proved　an　exception；　deciding　that　he　was　in　love　with　Tereza。　Tomas　was　grateful　to　him　for　it。　He　would　stroke　the　puppy's　head　and　say；　Well　done；　Karenin！　That's　just　what　I　wanted　you　for。　Since　I　can't　cope　with　her　by　myself；　you　must　help　me。　
But　even　with　Karenin's　help　Tomas　failed　to　make　her　happy。　He　became　aware　of　his　failure　some　years　later；　on　approximately　the　tenth　day　after　his　country　was　occupied　by　Russian　tanks。　It　was　August　1968；　and　Tomas　was　receiving　daily　phone　calls　from　a　hospital　in　Zurich。　The　director　there；　a　physician　who　had　struck　up　a　friendship　with　Tomas　at　an　international　conference；　was　worried　about　him　and　kept　offering　him　a　job。
12
If　Tomas　rejected　the　Swiss　doctor's　offer　without　a　second　thought；　it　was　for　Tereza's　sake。　He　assumed　she　would　not　want　to　leave。　She　had　spent　the　whole　first　week　of　the　occupation　in　a　kind　of　trance　almost　resembling　happiness。　After　roaming　the　streets　with　her　camera；　she　would　hand　the　rolls　of　film　to　foreign　journalists；　who　actually　fought　over　them。　Once；　when　she　went　too　far　and　took　a　close…up　of　an　officer　pointing　his　revolver　at　a　group　of　people；　she　was　arrested　and　kept　overnight　at　Russian　military　headquarters。　There　they　threatened　to　shoot　her；　but　no　sooner　did　they　let　her　go　than　she　was　back　in　the　streets　with　her　camera。
That　is　why　Tomas　was　surprised　when　on　the　tenth　day　of　the　occupation　she　said　to　him；　Why　is　it　you　don't　want　to　go　to　Switzerland？　？？？？？？？？？？？？？　'
Why　should　I？　
They　could　make　it　hard　for　you　here。　
They　can　make　it　hard　for　anybody；　replied　Tomas　with　a　wave　of　the　hand。　What　about　you？　Could　you　live　abroad？　
Why　not？　
You've　been　out　there　risking　your　life　for　this　country。　How　can　you　be　so　nonchalant　about　leaving　it？　
Now　that　Dubcek　is　back；　things　have　changed；　said　Tereza。
It　was　t