the heir of redclyffe-第54部分

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assistance；　would　become　known；　and　lead　to　the　loss　of　his　character　

and　situation。　　Guy　stood　and　considered。　　He　had　an　impulse；　but　he　

did　not　think　it　a　safe　one；　and　resolved　to　give　himself　time。



'I　do　not　say　that　I　cannot　help　you；'　he　answered；　'but　I　must　have　

time　to　consider。'



'Time！　would　you　see　me　ruined　while　you　are　considering？'



'I　suppose　this　must　be　paid　immediately。　　Where　do　you　lodge？'



Mr。　Dixon　told　him　the　street　and　number。



'You　shall　hear　from　me　to…morrow　morning。　　I　cannot　trust　my　present　

thoughts。　　Good　night！'



Mr。　Dixon　would　fain　have　guessed　whether　the　present　thoughts　were　

favourable；　but　all　his　hope　in　his　extremity　was　in　his　nephew；　it　

might　be　fatal　to　push　him　too　far；　and；　with　a　certain　trust　in　his　

good…nature；　Sebastian　allowed　him　to　walk　away　without　further　

remonstrance。



Guy　knew　his　own　impetuous　nature　too　well　to　venture　to　act　on　impulse　

in　a　doubtful　case。　　He　had　now　first　to　consider　what　he　was　able　to　

do；　and　secondly　what　he　would　do；　and　this　was　not　as　clear　to　his　

mind　as　in　the　earlier　days　of　his　acquaintance　with　his　uncle。



Their　intercourse　had　never　been　on　a　comfortable　footing。　　It　would　

perhaps　have　been　better　if　Philip's　advice　had　been　followed；　and　no　

connection　kept　up。　　Guy　had　once　begged　for　some　definite　rule；　since　

there　was　always　vexation　when　he　was　known　to　have　been　with　his　

uncle；　and　yet　Mr。　Edmonstone　would　never　absolutely　say　he　ought　not　

to　see　him。　　As　long　as　his　guardian　permitted　it；　or　rather　winked　at　

it；　Guy　did　not　think　it　necessary　to　attend　to　Philip's　marked　

disapproval。　　Part　of　it　was　well　founded；　but　part　was　dislike　to　all　

that　might　be　considered　as　vulgar；　and　part　was　absolute　injustice　to　

Sebastian　Dixon；　there　was　everything　that　could　offend　in　his　line　of　

argument；　and　in　the　very　circumstance　of　his　interfering；　and　Guy　had　

a　continual　struggle；　in　which　he　was　not　always　successful；　to　avoid　

showing　the　affront　he　had　taken；　and　to　reason　down　his　subsequent　

indignation。　　The　ever…recurring　irritation　which　Philip's　conversation　

was　apt　to　cause　him；　made　him　avoid　it　as　far　as　he　could；　and　retreat　

in　haste　from　the　subjects　on　which　they　were　most　apt　to　disagree；　and　

so　his　manner　had　assumed　an　air　of　reserve；　and　almost　of　distrust；　

with　his　cousin；　that　was　very　unlike　its　usual　winning　openness。



This　had　been　one　unfortunate　effect　of　his　intercourse　with　his　uncle；　

and　another　was　a　certain　vague；　dissatisfied　feeling　which　his　

silence；　and　Philip's　insinuations　respecting　the　days　he　spent　in　

London；　left　on　Mr。　Edmonstone's　mind；　and　which　gained　strength　from　

their　recurrence。　　The　days　were；　indeed；　not　many；　it　was　only　that　in　

coming　from　and　going　to　Oxford；　he　slept　a　night　at　an　hotel　in　London　

（for　his　uncle　never　would　take　him　to　his　lodgings；　never　even　would　

tell　him　where　they　were；　but　always　gave　his　address　at　the　place　of　

his　engagement）；　was　conducted　by　him　to　some　concert　in　the　evening；　

and　had　him　to　breakfast　in　the　morning。　　He　could　not　think　there　was　

any　harm　in　this；　he　explained　all　he　had　done　to　Mr。　Edmonstone　the　

first　time；　but　nothing　was　gained　by　it：　his　visits　to　London　

continued　to　be　treated　as　something　to　be　excused　or　overlookedas　

something　not　quite　correct。



He　would　almost　have　been　ready　to　discontinue　them；　but　that　he　saw　

that　his　uncle　regarded　him　with　affection；　and　he　could　not　bear　the　

thought　of　giving　up　a　poor　relation　for　the　sake　of　the　opinion　of　his　

rich　friends。　　These　meetings　were　the　one　pure　pleasure　to　which　

Sebastian　looked；　recalling　to　him　the　happier　days　of　his　youth；　and　

of　his　friendship　with　Guy's　father；　and　when　Guy　perceived　how　he　

valued　them；　it　would　have　seemed　a　piece　of　cruel　neglect　to　gratify　

himself　by　giving　the　time　to　Hollywell。



Early　in　the　course　of　their　acquaintance；　the　importunity　of　a　

creditor　revealed　that；　in　spite　of　his　handsome　salary；　Sebastian　

Dixon　was　often　in　considerable　distress　for　money。　　In　process　of　

time；　Guy　discovered　that　at　the　time　his　uncle　had　been　supporting　his　

sister　and　her　husband　in　all　the　luxury　he　thought　befitted　their　

rank；　he　had　contracted　considerable　debts；　and　he　had　only　been　able　

to　return　to　England　on　condition　of　paying　so　much　a…year　to　his　

creditors。　　This　left　him　very　little　on　which　to　maintain　his　family；　

but　still　his　pride　made　him　bent　on　concealing　his　difficulties；　and　

it　was　not　without　a　struggle　that　he　would　at　first　consent　to　receive　

assistance　from　his　nephew。



Guy　resolved　that　these　debts；　which　he　considered　as　in　fact　his　

father's　own；　should　be　paid　as　soon　as　he　had　the　command　of　his　

property；　but；　in　the　meantime；　he　thought　himself　bound　to　send　his　

uncle　all　the　help　in　his　power；　and　when　once　the　effort　of　accepting　

it　at　all　was　over；　Dixon's　expectations　extended　far　beyond　his　power。　　

His　allowance　was　not　large；　and　the　constant　requests　for　a　few　pounds　

to　meet　some　pressing　occasion　were　more　than　he　could　well　meet。　　They　

kept　him　actually　a　great　deal　poorer　than　men　without　a　tenth　part　of　

his　fortune；　and　at　the　end　of　the　term　he　would　look　back　with　

surprise　at　having　been　able　to　pay　his　way；　but　still　he　contrived　

neither　to　exceed　his　allowance；　nor　to　get　into　debt。　　This　was；　

indeed；　only　done　by　a　rigid　self…denial　of　little　luxuries　such　as　

most　young　men　look　on　nearly　as　necessaries；　but　he　had　never　been　

brought　up　to　think　self…indulgence　a　consequence　of　riches；　he　did　not　

care　what　was　said　of　him；　he　had　no　expensive　tastes；　for　he　did　not　

seek　after　society；　so　that　he　was　not　ill…prepared　for　such　a　course；　

and　only　thought　of　it　as　an　assistance　in　abstaining　from　the　time…

wasting　that　might　have　tempted　him　if　he　had　had　plenty　of　money　to　

spend。



The　only　thing　that　concerned　him　was　a　growing　doubt　lest　he　might　be　

feeding　extravagance　instead　of　doing　good；　and　the　more　he　disliked　

himself　for　the　suspicion；　the　more　it　would　return。　　There　was　no　

doubt　much　distress；　the　children　were　sickly；　several　of　them　died；　

the　doctor's　bills；　and　other　expenses；　pressed　heavily；　and　Guy　blamed　

himself　for　having　doubted。　　Yet；　again；　he　could　not　conceal　from　

himself　traces　that　his　uncle　was　careless　and　imprudent。　　He　had　once；　

indeed；　in　a　violent　fit　of　self…reproach；　confessed　as　much；　allowed　

that　what　ought　to　have　been　spent　in　the　maintenance　of　his　family；　

had　gone　in　gambling；　but　immediately　after；　he　had　been　seized　with　a　

fit　of　terror；　and　implored　Guy　to　guard　the　secret；　since；　if　once　it　

came　to　the　knowledge　of　his　creditors；　it　would　be　all　over　with　him。　　　

Concealment　of　his　present　difficulties　was　therefore　no　less　necessary　

than　assistance　in　paying　the　sum　he　owed。　　Indeed；　as　far　as　Guy　was　

able　to　understand　his　confused　statement；　what　he　wanted　was　at　once　

to　pay　a　part　of　his　debt；　before　he　could　go　on　to　a　place　where　he　

was　engaged　to　perform；　and　where　he　would　earn　enough　to　make　up　the　

rest。



Guy　had　intended　to　have　sent　for　Deloraine；　but　had　since　given　up　the　

idea；　in　order　to　be　able　to　help　forward　some　plans　of　Miss　

Wellwood's；　and　resigning　this　project　would　enable　him　to　place　thirty　

pounds　at　his　uncle's　disposal；　leaving　him　just　enough　to　pay　his　

expenses　at　South　Moor；　and　carry　him　back　to　Hollywell。　　It　was　sorely　

against　his　inclination　that；　instead　of　helping　a　charity；　his　savings　

should　go　to　pay　gaming　debts；　and　his　five…miles　walk　was　spent　in　

self…debate　on　the　right　and　wrong　of　the　matter；　and　questions　what　

should　be　done　for　the　futurefor　he　was　beginning　to　awaken　to　the　

sense　of　his　responsibility；　and　feared　lest　he　might　be　encouraging　

vice。



Very　early　next　morning　Guy　put　his　head　into　his　tutor's　room；　

announced　that　he　must　walk　into　St。　Mildred's　on　business；　but　should　

be　back　by　eleven　at　the　latest；　ran　down…stairs；　called　Bustle；　and　

made　interest　with　the　farmer's　wife　for　a　hunch　of　dry　bread　and　a　cup　

of　new　milk。



Then　rejoicing　that　he　had　made　up　his　mind；　though　not　light…hearted　

enough　to　whistle；　he　walked　across　the　moorland；　through　the　white　

morning　mist；　curling　on　the　sides　of　the　hills　in　fantastic　forms；　and　

now　and　then　catching　his　lengthened　shadow；　so　as　to　make　him　smile　by　

reminding　him　of　the　spectre　of　the　Brocken。



Not　without　difficulty；　he　found　a　back　street；　and　a　little　shop；　

where　a　slovenly　maid　was　sweeping　the　steps；　and　the　shutters　were　not　

yet　taken　down。　　He　asked　if　Mr。　Dixon　lodged　there。　　'Yes；'　the　woman　

said；　staring　in　amazement　that　such　a　gentleman　could　be　there　at　that　

time　in　the　morning；　asking　for　Mr。　Dixon。



'Is　he　at　home？'



'Yes；　sir　but　he　is　not　up　yet。　　He　was　very　late　last　night。　　Did　you　

want　to　speak　to　h