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the heir of redclyffe-第86部分

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through the very worst; yet I can hardly believe it now。'



'Guy;' said Amy; looking up; with the gentle resolution that had lately 

grown on her; 'you must not take me for more than I am worth; and I 

should like to tell you fairly。  I did not speak last time; because it 

was all so strange and so delightful; and I had no time to think; 

because I was so confused。  But that is a long time ago; and this has 

been a very sad winter; and I have thought a great deal。  I know; and 

you know; too; that I am a foolish little thing; I have been silly 

little Amy always; you and Charlie have helped me to all the sense I 

have; and I don't think I could ever be a clever; strong…minded woman; 

such as one admires。'



'Heaven forbid!' ejaculated Guy; moved; perhaps; by a certain 

remembrance of St。 Mildred's。



'But;' continued Amy; 'I believe I do really wish to be good; and I 

know you have helped me to wish it much more; and I have been trying to 

learn to bear things; and so'out came something; very like a sunny 

smile; though some tears followed'so if you do like such a silly 

little thing; it can't be helped; and we will try to make the best of 

her。  Only don't say any more about my being happier without you; for 

one thing I am very sure of; Guy; I had rather bear anything with you; 

than know you were bearing it alone。  I am only afraid of being foolish 

and weak; and making things worse for you。'



'So much worse!  But still;' he added; 'speak as you may; my Amy; I 

cannot; must not; feel that I have a right to think of you as my own; 

till you have heard all。  You ought to know what my temper is before 

you risk yourself in its power。  Amy; my first thought towards Philip 

was nothing short of murder。'



She raised her eyes; and saw how far entirely he meant what he said。



'The firstnot the second;' she murmured。



'Yes; the secondthe third。  There was a moment when I could have 

given my soul for my revenge!'



'Only a moment!'



'Only a moment; thank Heaven! and I have not done quite so badly since。  

I hope I have not suffered quite in vain; but if that shock could 

overthrow all my wonted guards; it might; though I pray Heaven it may 

not; it might happen again。'



'I think you conquered yourself then; and that you will again;' said 

Amy。



'And suppose I was ever to be mad enough to be angry with you?'



Amy smiled outright here。  'Of course; I should deserve it; but I think 

the trouble would be the comforting you afterwards。  Mamma said'she 

added; after a long silence; during which Guy's feeling would not let 

him speak'mamma said; and I think; that you are much safer and better 

with such a quick temper as yours; because you are always struggling 

and fighting with it; on the real true religious ground; than a person 

more even tempered by nature; but not so much in earnest in doing 

right。'



'Yes; if I did not believe myself to be in earnest about that; I could 

never dare to speak to you at all。'



'We will help each other;' said Amy; 'you have always helped me; long 

before we knew we cared for each other!'



'And; Amy; if you knew how the thought of you helped me last winter; 

even when I thought I had forfeited you for ever。'



Their talk only ceased when; at one o'clock; Mrs。 Edmonstone; who had 

pronounced in the dressing…room that three hours was enough for them at 

once; came in; and asked Guy to go and help to carry Charles down…

stairs。



He went; and Amy nestled up to her mother; raising her face to be 

kissed。



'It is very nice!' she whispered; and then arranged her brother's sofa; 

as she heard his progress down…stairs beginning。  He was so light and 

thin as to be very easily carried; and was brought in between Guy and 

one of the servants。  When he was settled on the sofa; he began thus;

'There was a grand opportunity lost last winter。  I was continually 

rehearsing the scene; and thinking what waste it was to go through such 

a variety of torture without the dignity of danger。  If I could but 

have got up ever so small an alarm; I would have conjured my father to 

send for Guy; entreated pathetically that the reconciliation might be 

effected; and have drawn my last breath clasping their hands; thus!  

The curtain falls!'



He made a feint of joining their hands; put his head back; and shut his 

eyes with an air and a grace that put Charlotte into an ecstasy; and 

made even Amy laugh; as she quitted the room; blushing。



'But if it had been your last breath;' said Charlotte; 'you would not 

have been much the wiser。'



'I would have come to life again in time to enjoy the 〃coup de 

theatre〃。  I had some thoughts of trying an overdose of opium; but I 

thought Dr。 Mayerne would have found me out。  I tell you; because it is 

fair I should have the credit; for; Guy; if you knew what she was to me 

all the winter; you would perceive my superhuman generosity in not 

receiving you as my greatest enemy。'



'I shall soon cease to be surprised at any superhuman generosity;' said 

Guy。  'But how thin you are; Charlie; you are a very feather to carry; 

I had no notion it had been such a severe business。'



'Most uncommon!' said Charles; shaking his head; with a mock solemnity。



'It was the worst of all;' said Mrs。 Edmonstone; 'six weeks of constant 

pain。'



'How very sorry Philip must have been!' exclaimed Guy。



'Philip?' said Charlotte。



'Why; was it not owing to him?  Surely; your father told me so。  Did 

not he let you fall on the stairs?'



'My dear father!' exclaimed Charles; laughing; every disaster that 

happens for the next twelvemonth will be imputed to Philip。'



'How was it; then?' said Guy。



'The fact was this;' said Charles; 'it was in the thick of the 

persecution of you; and I was obliged to let Philip drag me upstairs; 

because I was in a hurry。  He took the opportunity of giving me some 

impertinent advice which I could not stand。  I let go his arm; 

forgetting what a dependent mortal I am; and down I should assuredly 

have gone; if he had not caught me; and carried me off; as a fox does a 

goose; so it was his fault; as one may say; in a moral; though not in a 

physical sense。'



'Then;' said his mother; 'you do think your illness was owing to that 

accident?'



'I suppose the damage was brewing; and that the shake brought it into 

an active state。  There's a medical opinion for you!'



'Well; I never knew what you thought of it before;' said Mrs。 

Edmonstone。



'Why; when I had a condor to pick on Guy's account with Philip; I was 

not going to pick a crow on my own;' said Charles。  'Oh! is luncheon 

ready; and you all going?  I never see anybody now。  I want the story 

of the shipwreck; though; of course; Ben What's…his…name was the hero; 

and Sir Guy Morville not a bit of it。'



Laura wanted to walk to East Hill; and the other young people agreed to 

go thither; too。



'It will be nice to go to church there to…day' said Amy; in a half…

whisper; heard only by Guy; and answered by a look that showed how well 

he understood and sympathized。



'Another thing;' said Amy; colouring a good deal; 'shall you mind my 

telling Mary?  I behaved so oddly last night; and she was so kind to me 

that I think I ought。'



Mary had seen enough last night to be very curious to…day; though 

hardly expecting her curiosity to be gratified。  However; as she was 

putting on her bonnet for church; she looked out of her window; and saw 

the four coming across the fields from Hollywell。  Guy and Amy did not 

walk into the village arm…in…arm;  but; as they came under the church 

porch; Guy; unseen by all held out his hand; sought hers; and; for one 

moment; pressed it fervently。  Amy knew he felt this like their 

betrothal。



After the service; they stood talking with Mr。 Ross and Mary; for some 

little time。  Amy held apart; and Mary saw how it was。  As they were 

about to turn homewards; Amy said quickly; 'Come and walk a little way 

home with me。'



She went on with Mary before the rest; and when out of sight of them 

all; said; 'Mary!' and then stopped short。



'I guess something; Amy;' said Mary。



'Don't tell any one but Mr。 Ross。'



'Then I have guessed right。  My dear little Amy; I am very glad!  So 

that was the reason you flew out of the room last evening; and looked 

so bright and glowing!'



'It was so good of you to ask no questions!'



'I don't think I need ask any now; Amy; for I see in your face how 

right and happy it all is。'



'I can't tell you all; Mary; but I must one thing;that the whole 

terrible story arose from his helping a person in distress。  I like you 

to know that。'



'Papa was always sure that he had not been to blame;' said Mary。



'Yes; so Charlie told me; and that is the reason I wanted you to know。'



'Then; Amy; something of this had begun last summer?'

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