the captives-第37部分

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　the　desk　thrust　conviction　into　every　heart：　〃You　think　that　you　may　escape；　you　look　at　your　neighbours；　every　one　of　you；　and　say；　'He　is　worse　than　I。　I　am　safe；'　but　I　tell　you　that　not　one　man　or　woman　here　shall　be　secure　unless　he　turn　instantly　now　to　God　and　beg　for　mercy　。　。　。〃

As　he　continued　he　did　indeed　bear　the　almost　breathless　urgency　of　one　who　has　been　sent　on　in　advance　to　announce　the　imminence　of　some　awful　peril。　No　matter　what　the　peril　might　be；　simply　through　the　Chapel　there　passed　the　breath　of　some　coming　danger。　Impossible　to　watch　him　and　not　realise　that　here　was　a　man　who　had　seen　something　with　his　own　eyes　that　had　changed　in　a　moment　the　very　fabric　of　his　life。　Thurston　might　be　a　charlatan　who　played　with　the　beliefs　of　his　dupes；　Warlock　might　be　a　mystic　whose　vision　was　in　the　future　and　not　in　the　pastCrashaw　knew。

He　painted；　quietly；　without　fine　words　but　with　assurance　and　conviction；　his　belief　in　the　punishment　of　mankind。　God　was　almost　now　upon　the　threshold　of　their　house。　He　was　at　the　very　gates　of　their　city；　and　with　Him　was　coming　a　doom　as　sure　and　awful　as　the　sentence　of　the　earthly　judge　on　his　earthly　victim。

〃Punishment！　Punishment！　。　。　。　We　have　grown　in　this　careless　age　to　laugh　at　punishment。　A　future　life？　There　is　no　future　life。　God？　There　is　no　God！　Even　were　He　to　come　upon　us　we　could　escape　from　Him。　We　could　make　a　very　good　case　for　ourselves。　This　world　is　safe；　secure；　founded　upon　our　markets；　our　treasuries；　our　laws　and　commandments；　our　conventions　of　decent　behaviour；　our　police　and　our　ministers。　God　cannot　touch　us。　We　are　secure　。　。　。　I　tell　you　that　at　this　very　moment　this　earth　in　which　you　trust　is　trembling　under　you；　at　this　instant　everything　in　which　you　believed　is　undermined　and　is　betraying　you。　You　have　been　given　your　opportunityyou　are　refusing　itand　God　is　upon　you。〃

His　voice　changed　suddenly　to　tones　of　a　marvellous　sweetness。　He　appealed；　pleaded；　implored。　The　ugliness　of　his　face　and　body　was　forgotten；　he　was　simply　a　voice　issuing　from　space；　sent　to　save　a　world。

〃And　we　herethe　few　of　us　out　of　this　huge　city　gathered　together　hereit　is　not　too　late　for　us。　Let　us　surrender　ourselves。　Let　us　go　to　Him　and　say　that　we　are　His；　that　we　await　His　coming　and　obey　His　law　。　。　。　Brothers　and　sisters；　I　am　as　you　are；　weak　and　helpless　and　full　of　sin；　but　come　to　Him；　come　to　Him；　come　to　Him！　。　。　。　There　is　help　for　us　all；　help　and　pity　and　love。　Love　such　as　none　of　us　have　ever　known；　love　that　cannot　fail　us　and　will　be　with　us　until　eternity！〃

He　stepped　out　from　behind　the　desk；　stood　before　them　all　with　his　little　stunted；　twisted　body；　his　arms　held　out　towards　them。　There　followed　then　an　extraordinary　scenefrom　all　over　the　Chapel　came　sobs　and　cries。　A　man　rose　suddenly　from　the　back　of　the　building　and　cried　aloud；　〃Lord；　I　believe！　Help　Thou　mine　unbelief。〃　One　of　the　women　who　had　come　with　Miss　Avies　fell　upon　her　knees　and　began　to　sob；　crying　hysterically：　〃Oh　God；　have　mercy！　God　have　mercy！〃　Women　pressed　up　the　two　aisles；　some　of　them　falling　on　their　knees　there　where　they　had　stood；　others　coming　to　the　front　and　kneeling　there。　Somewhere　they　began　to　sing　the　hymn　that　had　already　been　sung　that　evening；　a　few　voices　at　first；　then　more；　then　all　singing　together：

〃By　the　blood；　by　the　blood；　by　the　blood　of　the　Lamb　We　beseech　Thee！〃

Everywhere　now　women　were　crying；　the　Chapel　was　filled　with　voices；　sobs；　cries　and　prayers。

Mr。　Crashaw　stood　there；　motionless；　his　arms　outstretched。

Maggie　did　not　know　what　she　felt。　She　seemed　deprived　of　all　sensation　on　one　side；　and；　on　the　other；　fear　and　excitement；　both　joy　and　disgust　held　her。　She　could　not　have　told　any　one　what　her　sensations　were；　she　was　trembling　from　head　to　foot　as　though　with　cold。　But　behind　everything　she　had　this　terror；　that　at　any　moment　she　might　be　drawn　forward　to　do　something；　to　give　some　pledge　that　would　bind　her　for　all　her　life。　She　felt　as　though　some　power　were　urging　her　to　this；　and　as　though　the　Chapel　and　every　one　in　it　was　conscious　of　the　struggle。

What　might　have　happened　she　would　never　know。　She　felt　a　touch　on　her　sleeve；　and；　turning　round；　saw　Aunt　Anne's　eyes　looking　up　at　her　out　of　a　face　that　was　so　white　and　the　skin　of　it　so　tightly　drawn　that　it　was　like　the　face　of　a　dead　woman。

〃I'm　in　great　pain；　Maggie。　I　think　you　must　take　me　home；〃　she　heard　her　aunt　say。

Aunt　Anne　took　her　arm；　they　went　out　followed　by　Aunt　Elizabeth。　The　fresh　evening　air　that　blew　upon　Maggie's　forehead　seemed　suddenly　to　make　of　the　Chapel　a　dim；　incredible　phantom；　faintly　from　behind　the　closed　door　came　the　echo　of　the　hymn。　The　street　was　absolutely　stillno　human　being　was　in　sight；　only　an　old　cab　stationed　close　at　hand　waiting　for　a　possible　customer；　into　this　they　got。　The　pale；　almost　white；　evening　sky；　with　stars　in　sheets　and　squares　and　pools　of　fire；　shone　with　the　clear　radiance　of　glass　above　them。　Maggie　could　see　the　stars　through　the　dirty　windows　of　the　cab。

They　were　quite　silent　all　the　way　home。　Aunt　Anne　sitting　up　very　straight；　motionless；　her　fingers　still　on　Maggie's　arm。

Inside　the　house　there　was　Jane。　She　seemed　at　once　to　under…stand；　and；　with　Aunt　Elizabeth；　led　Aunt　Anne　up　the　dark　stairs。

They　disappeared；　leaving　Maggie　alone　in　the　hall；　whose　only　sound　was　the　ticking　clock　from　the　stairs　and　only　light　the　dim　lamp　above　the　door。




CHAPTER　V

THE　CHOICE


She　waited　for　some　time　alone　in　the　hall　listening　for　she　knew　not　what。　Her　departure　from　the　Chapel　had　been　too　abrupt　to　allow　her　in　a　moment　to　shake　off　the　impression　of　itabove　all；　the　impression　of　Mr。　Crashaw　standing　there；　his　arms　stretched　out　to　her；　his　eyes　burning　her　through　and　through　with　the　urgent　insistence　of　his　discovery。

She　was　tired；　her　head　ached　horribly；　she　would　have　given　everything　at　that　moment　for　a　friend　who　would　care　for　her　and　protect　her　from　her　own　wild　fears。　She　did　not　know　of　what　she　was　afraid；　but　she　knew　that　she　felt　that　she　would　rather　do　anything　than　spend　the　night　in　that　house。　And　yet　what　could　she　do？　How　could　she　escape？　She　knew　that　she　could　not。　Oh！　if　only　Martin　would　come！　Where　was　he？　Why　could　he　not　carry　her　off　that　very　night？　Why　did　he　not　come？

She　gazed　desperately　about　her。　Could　she　not　leave　the　house　there　and　then？　But　where　should　she　go？　What　could　she　do　without　a　friend　in　London？　She　stood　there；　clasping　and　unclasping　her　hands；　looking　up　at　the　black　stairs；　listening　for　some　sound　from　above；　fancying　a　ghost　in　every　darkening　corner　of　the　place。

Then　her　common　sense　reasserted　itself。　It　was　something；　at　any　rate；　that　she　was　out　of　the　Chapel；　away　from　Mr。　Crashaw's　piercing　eyes；　Mr。　Thurston's　rasping　voice；　Mr。　Warlock's　reproachful　melancholy。　She　felt　this　evening　as　though　by　struggling　with　all　her　strength　she　could　shut　the　gates　upon　new　experiences　that　were　fighting　to　enter　into　her　soul；　but　must；　at　all　costs　to　her　own　happiness；　be　defeated。　No　such　thing　as　ghosts；　no　such　thing　as　a　God；　be　He　kind；　tender；　cruel　or　loving…　…nothing　but　what　one　can　see；　can　touch；　can　confront　with　one's　physical　strength。　She　had　been　to　a　service　at　a　Methodist　chapel；　her　aunt　had　been　ill；　to…morrow　there　would　be　daylight　and　people　hurrying　down　the　street　about　their　business；　work　and　shops　and　food　and　sun　。　。　。　No　such　thing　as　ghosts！　Nothing　but　what　you　can　see！

〃And　I'll　get　some　work　without　wasting　a　minute；〃　she　thought；　nodding　her　head。　〃In　a　shop　if　necessaryor　I　could　be　a　governessand　then　when　he　is　free；　Martin　will　be　with　me。〃

She　climbed　on　a　chair　and　turned　down　the　hall…gas　as　she　had　seen　Martha　do。　She　went　to　the　door　and　slipped　the　chain　into　its　socket　and　turned　the　lock。　She　listened　for　a　moment　before　she　started　upstairs；　she　saw　Mr。　Crashaw's　eyes　in　the　darkshe　heard　his　voice。

〃Punishment！　Punishment！。　。　。〃

She　suddenly　started　to　run　up　the　black　stairs；　stumbled；　ran　faster　through　the　passage　under　the　picture　of　the　armed　men；　arrived　at　last　in　her　room；　breathless。

During　her　undressing　she　stopped　sometimes　to　listen。　Her　aunt's　bedroom　was　on　the　floor　below　hers；　and　she　certainly　could　hear　nothing　through　the　closed　doors；　and　yet　she　fancied；　as　she　stood　there；　that　the　sound　of　sobbing　came　up　to　her　and；　twice；　a　sharp　cry。

〃I　suppose　I'm　terribly　selfish；〃　she　thought；　〃I　ought　to　want　to　go　and　help　Aunt　Anne；　and　I　don't。〃　No；　she　didn't。　She　wanted　to　run　away　from　the　house；　miles　and　miles　and　miles。　She　climbed　into　bed　and　thought　of　her　escape。　If　Miss　Trenchard　did　not　answer　her　letter；　then　she　could　go　off　to　Uncle　Mathew；　greatly　though　she　disliked　the　thought　of　that；　then　she　could　live　on　her　three　hundred　pounds　and　look　about　until　she　found　work　or　Martin　came　for　her。

But　so　ignorant　was　she　of　the　world　that　she　did　not　in　the　least　know　how　she　could　get　her　three　hundred　pounds。　But　Uncle　Mathew　would　know。　She　thought　of　him　standing　in　the　doorway　at　the　hotel；　holding　up　a　glass；　then　she　thought　of　Martin；　and　so　fell　asleep。

She