the captives-第58部分

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　say　I　deceived　them；　but　they　haven't　any　right　to　tell　me　who　I　shall　love；　have　they？　No　one　has。　I　am　myself　and　nobody's　ever　cared　for　me　except　youand　Uncle　Mathew；　so　I　don't　see　why　I　should　think　of　anybody。　The　aunts　never　cared　for　me　reallyonly　to　make　me　religious。

But；　Martin；　never　forget　I　love　you　so　much　I　can　never　change。　I'm　not　one　who　changes；　and　although　I'm　young　now　I　shall　be　just　the　same　when　I'm　old。　I　have　the　ring　and　I　look　at　it　all　the　time。　I　like　to　think　you　have　the　locket。　Please　write；　dear　Martin；　or　I'll　find　it　very　difficult　to　stay　quiet　here；　and　I　know　I　ought　to　stay　quiet　for　your　sake。

Your　loving；

MAGGIE。

She　put　it　in　an　envelope；　wrote　the　address　as　he　had　told　her；　and　then　set　out　to　find　Jane。　It　was　four　o'clock　in　the　afternoon　now　and　the　house；　on　this　winter's　day；　was　dark　and　dim。

The　gas　was　always　badly　lit　in　the　passages；　spitting　and　muttering　like　an　imprisoned　animal。　The　house　was　so　quiet　when　Maggie　came　out　on　to　the　stairs　that　there　seemed　to　be　no　one　in　it。　She　found　her　way　down　into　the　hall　and　saw　Thomas　the　cat　there；　moving　like　a　black　ghost　along　the　floor。　He　came　up　to　her　and　rubbed　himself　in　his　sinister；　mysterious　way　against　her　dress。　When　she　turned　towards　the　green　baize　door　that　led　towards　the　kitchen　regions　he　stood　back　from　her；　stole　on　to　the　lower　steps　of　the　staircase　and　watched　her　with　steady；　unblinking　eyes。　She　pushed　the　door　and　went　through　into　the　cold　passage　that　smelt　of　cheese　and　bacon　and　damp　earth。　There　seemed　to　be　no　one　about；　and　then　suddenly　the　pantry　door　opened　and　Jane　came　out。　She　stopped　when　she　saw　Maggie。

〃Where's　Martha？〃　asked　Maggie　in　a　low　voice。

The　whisper　seemed　to　tell　Jane　at　once　that　this　was　to　be　a　confidential　matter。　She　jerked　with　a　dirty　thumb　in　the　direction　of　the　kitchen。

〃In　there。　Cooking　the　dinner；〃　she　whispered　back。　She　was　untidy；　there　were　streaks　of　black　on　her　face；　but　her　eyes　looked　up　at　Maggie　with　a　friendly；　roguish　glance；　as　though　they　had　already　something　in　common。　Maggie　saw　that　she　had　no　time　to　lose。　She　came　close　to　her。

〃Jane；〃　she　said；　〃I'm　in　trouble。　It's　only　you　who　can　help　me。　Here's　a　letter　that　I　want　postedjust　in　the　ordinary　way。　Can　you　do　that　for　me？〃

Jane；　suddenly　smiling；　nodded　her　head。

〃And　there's　something　else；〃　Maggie　went　on。　〃To…morrow　morning；　before　you　come　here；　I　want　you　to　go　to　the　Strand　post…office　you　know　the　one　opposite　the　stationand　ask　for　a　letter　addressed　to　me。　I've　written　on　a　piece　of　paper　here　that　you're　to　be　given　any　letters　of　mine。　Give　it　to　me　somehow　when　no　one's　looking。　Do　you　understand？〃

Jane　nodded　her　head。　Maggie　gave　her　the　note　and　also　half…a…　crown；　but　Jane　pushed　back　the　money。

〃I　don't　want　no　money；〃　she　said　in　a　hoarse　whisper。　〃You're　the　only　one　here　decent　to　me。〃

At　that　moment　the　kitchen　door　opened　and　Martha　appeared。　When　she　saw　Jane　she　came　up　to　her　and　said：　〃Now　then；　idling　again！　What　about　the　potatoes？〃

She　looked　at　Maggie　with　her　usual　surly　suspicion。

〃I　came　down　for　a　candle；〃　Maggie　said；　〃for　my　room。　Will　you　give　me　one；　please？〃

Jane　had　vanished。

Martin；　meanwhile；　after　Maggie　left　him；　had　returned　home　in　no　happy　state。　There　had　leapt　upon　him　again　that　mood　of　sullen　impatient　rebellion　that　he　knew　so　wella　mood　that　really　was　like　a　possession；　so　that；　struggle　as　hemight；　he　seemed　always　in　the　grip　of　some　iron…fingered　menacing　figure。

It　was　possession　in　a　sense　that　to　many　normal；　happy　people　in　this　world　is　so　utterly　unknown　that　they　can　only　scornfully　name　it　weakness　and　so　pass　on　their　way。　But　those　human　beings　who　have　suffered　from　it　do　in　very　truth　feel　as　though　they　had　been　caught　up　into　another　world；　a　world　of　slavery；　moral　galley…　driving　with　a　master　high　above　them；　driving　them　with　a　lash　that　their　chained　limbs　may　not　resist。　Such　men；　if　they　try　to　explain　that　torment；　can　often　point　to　the　very　day　and　even　hour　of　their　sudden　slavery；　at　such　a　tick　of　the　clock　the　clouds　gather；　the　very　houses　and　street　are　weighted　with　a　cold　malignity；　thoughts；　desires；　impulses　are　all　checked；　perverted；　driven　and　counter…　driven　by　a　mysterious　force。　Let　no　man　who　has　not　known　such　hours　and　the　terror　of　such　a　dominion　utter　judgment　upon　his　neighbour。

To　Martin　the　threat　of　this　conflict　with　his　father　over　Maggie　was　the　one　crisis　that　he　had　wished　to　avoid。　But　his　character；　which　was　naturally　easy　and　friendly　and　unsuspicious；　had　confused　him。　Those　three　weeks　with　Maggie　had　been　so　happy；　so　free　from　all　morbidity　and　complication；　that　he　had　forgotten　the　world　outside。　For　a　moment　when　Maggie　had　told　him　that　she　had　given　her　note　to　Caroline　he　had　been　afraid；　but　he　had　been　lulled　as　the　days　passed　and　nothing　interfered　with　their　security。　Now　he　was　suddenly　plunged　into　the　middle　of　a　confusion　that　was　all　the　more　complicated　because　he　could　not　tell　what　his　mother　and　his；　sister　were　thinking。　He　knew　that　Amy　had　disliked　him　ever　since　his　return；　and　that　that　dislike　had　been　changed　into　something　fiercer　since　his　declared　opposition　to　Thurston。　His　mother　he　simply　did　not　understand　at　all。　She　spoke　to　him　still　with　the　same　affection　and　tenderness；　but　behind　the　words　he　felt　a　hard　purpose　and　a　mysterious　aloofness。

She　was　not　like　his　mother　at　all；　it　was　as　though　some　spy　had　been　introduced　into　the　house　in　his　mother's　clothing。

But　for　them　he　did　not　care；　it　was　his　father　of　whom　he　must　think。　Here；　too；　there　was　a　mystery　from　which　he　was　deliberately　kept。　He　knew；　of　course；　that　they　were　all　expecting　some　crisis；　as　the　days　advanced　he　could　feel　that　the　excitement　increased。　He　knew　that　his　father　had　declared　that　he　had　visions　and　that　there　was　to　be　a　revelation　very　shortly；　but　of　these　visions　and　this　revelation　he　heard　only　indirectly　from　others。　His　father　said　nothing　to　him　of　these　things；　and　at　the　ordinary　Chapel　services　on　Sunday　there　was　no　allusion　to　them。　He　knew　that　the　Inside　Saints　had　a　society　and　rules　of　their　own　inside　the　larger　body；　and　from　that　inner　society　he　was　quite　definitely　excluded。　Of　that　exclusion　he　would　have　been　only　too　glad　had　it　not　been　for　his　father；　but　now　when　he　saw　him　growing　from　day　to　day　more　haggard　and　worn；　more　aloof　from　all　human　society；　when　lie　saw　him　wrapped　further　and　further　into　some　strange　and　as　it　seemed　to　him　insane　absorption；　he　was　determined　to　fight　his　way　into　the　heart　of　it。　His　growing　intimacy　with　Maggie　had　relieved　him；　for　a　moment；　of　the　intensity　of　this　other　anxiety。　Now　suddenly　he　was　flung　back　into　the　very　thick　of　it。　His　earlier　plan　of　forcing　his　father　out　of　all　this　network　of　chicanery　and　charlatanism　now　returned。　He　felt　that　if　he　could　only　seize　his　father　and　forcibly　abduct　him　and　take　him　away　from　Amy　and　Thurston　and　the　rest；　and　all　the　associations　of　the　Chapel；　he　might　cure　him　and　lead　him　back　to　health　and　happiness　again。

And　yet　he　did　not　know。　He　had　not　himself　escaped　from　it　all　by　leaving　it；　and　then　that　undermining　bewildering　suspicion　that　perhaps　after　all　there　was　something　in　all　of　this；　that　it　was　not　only　charlatanism；　confused　and　disconcerted　him。　He　was　like　a　man　who　hears　sounds　and　faint　cries　behind　a　thick　wall；　and　there　are　no　doors　and　windows；　and　the　bricks　are　too　stout　to　be　torn　apart。

He　had　been　behind　that　wall　all　his　life　。　。　。

Amy's　allusion　to　Maggie　in　the　morning　had　been　very　slight；　but　had　shown　quite　clearly　that　she　had　heard　all；　and　probably　more；　than　the　truth。　When　he　returned　that　morning　he　found　his　mother　alone；　knitting　a　pink　woollen　comforter；　her　gold　spectacles　on　the　end　of　her　nose；　her　fresh　lace　cap　crisp　and　dainty　on　her　white　hairthe　very　picture　of　the　dearest　old　lady　in　the　world。

〃Mother；〃　he　began　at　once；　〃what　did　Amy　mean　this　morning　about　myself　and　Maggie　Cardinal？〃

〃Maggie　who；　dear？〃　his　mother　asked。

〃Maggie　Cardinalthe　Cardinal　niece；　you　know；〃　he　said　impatiently。

〃Did　she　say　anything？　I　don't　remember。〃

〃Yes；　mother。　You　remember　perfectly　well。　She　said　that　they　were　all　talking　about　me　and　Maggie。〃

〃Did　she？〃　The　old　lady　slowly　counted　her　stitches。　〃Well；　dear；　I　shouldn't　worry　about　what　they　all　saywhoever　'they'　may　be。〃

〃Oh；　I　don't　care　for　that；〃　he　answered　contemptuously；　〃although　all　the　same　I'm　not　going　to　have　Amy　running　that　girl　down。　She's　been　against　her　from　the　first。　What　I　want　to　know　is　has　Amy　been　to　father　with　this？　Because　if　she　has　I'm　going　to　stop　it。　I'm　not　going　to　have　her　bothering　father　with　bits　of　gossip　that　she's　picked　up　by　listening　behind　other　peoples'　key…holes。〃

Amy；　meanwhile；　had　come　in　and　heard　this　last　sentence。

〃Thank　you；　Martin；〃　she　said　quietly。

He　turned　to　her　with　fury。　〃What　did　you　mean　at　breakfast；〃　he　asked；　〃by　what　you　said　about　myself　and　Maggie　Cardinal？〃

She　looked　at　him　with　contempt　but　no　very　active　hostility。

〃I　was　simply　telling　you　something　that