little novels-第46部分

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〃Do　you　think　I　am　mad？　I　dare　say　I　am。　I　can't　live　without　her。〃　Those　were　the　first　words　he　said　when　we　shook　hands。

But　I　had　more　influence　over　him　than　any　other　person；　and；　weak　as　I　was；　I　exerted　it。　Little　by　little；　he　became　more　reasonable；　he　began　to　speak　like　his　old　self　again。

To　have　expressed　any　surprise；　on　my　part；　at　what　had　happened；　would　have　been　not　only　imprudent；　but　unworthy　of　him　and　of　me。　My　first　inquiry　was　suggested　by　the　fear　that　he　might　have　been　hurried　into　openly　confessing　his　passion　to　Susanalthough　his　position　forbade　him　to　offer　marriage。　I　had　done　him　an　injustice。　His　honorable　nature　had　shrunk　from　the　cruelty　of　raising　hopes；　which；　for　all　he　knew　to　the　contrary；　might　never　be　realized。　At　the　same　time；　he　had　his　reasons　for　believing　that　he　was　at　least　personally　acceptable　to　her。

〃She　was　always　glad　to　see　me；〃　said　poor　Rothsay。　〃We　constantly　talked　of　you。　She　spoke　of　your　kindness　so　prettily　and　so　gratefully。　Oh；　Lepel；　it　is　not　her　beauty　only　that　has　won　my　heart！　Her　nature　is　the　nature　of　an　angel。〃

His　voice　failed　him。　For　the　first　time　in　my　remembrance　of　our　long　companionship；　he　burst　into　tears。

I　was　so　shocked　and　distressed　that　I　had　the　greatest　difficulty　in　preserving　my　own　self…control。　In　the　effort　to　comfort　him；　I　asked　if　he　had　ventured　to　confide　in　his　father。

〃You　are　the　favorite　son；〃　I　reminded　him。　〃Is　there　no　gleam　of　hope　in　the　future？〃

He　had　written　to　his　father。　In　silence　he　gave　me　the　letter　in　reply。

It　was　expressed　with　a　moderation　which　I　had　hardly　dared　to　expect。　Mr。　Rothsay　the　elder　admitted　that　he　had　himself　married　for　love；　and　that　his　wife's　rank　in　the　social　scale　（although　higher　than　Susan's）　had　not　been　equal　to　his　own。

〃In　such　a　family　as　ours；〃　he　wroteperhaps　with　pardonable　pride〃we　raise　our　wives　to　our　own　degree。　But　this　young　person　labors　under　a　double　disadvantage。　She　is　obscure；　and　she　is　poor。　What　have　you　to　offer　her？　Nothing。　And　what　have　I　to　give　you？　Nothing。〃

This　meant；　as　I　interpreted　it；　that　the　main　obstacle　in　the　way　was　Susan's　poverty。　And　I　was　rich！　In　the　excitement　that　possessed　me；　I　followed　the　impulse　of　the　moment　headlong；　like　a　child。

〃While　you　were　away　from　me；〃　I　said　to　Rothsay；　〃did　you　never　once　think　of　your　old　friend？　Must　I　remind　you　that　I　can　make　Susan　your　wife　with　one　stroke　of　my　pen？〃　He　looked　at　me　in　silent　surprise。　I　took　my　check…book　from　the　drawer　of　the　table；　and　placed　the　inkstand　within　reach。　〃Susan's　marriage　portion；〃　I　said；　〃is　a　matter　of　a　line　of　writing；　with　my　name　at　the　end　of　it。〃

He　burst　out　with　an　exclamation　that　stopped　me；　just　as　my　pen　touched　the　paper。

〃Good　heavens！〃　he　cried；　〃you　are　thinking　of　that　play　we　saw　at　Rome！　Are　we　on　the　stage？　Are　you　performing　the　part　of　the　Marquisand　am　I　the　Count？〃

I　was　so　startled　by　this　wild　allusion　to　the　pastI　recognized　with　such　astonishment　the　reproduction　of　one　of　the　dramatic　situations　in　the　play；　at　a　crisis　in　his　life　and　minethat　the　use　of　the　pen　remained　suspended　in　my　hand。　For　the　first　time　in　my　life　I　was　conscious　of　a　sensation　which　resembled　superstitious　dread。

Rothsay　recovered　himself　first。　He　misinterpreted　what　was　passing　in　my　mind。

〃Don't　think　me　ungrateful；〃　he　said。　〃You　dear；　kind；　good　fellow；　consider　for　a　moment；　and　you　will　see　that　it　can't　be。　What　would　be　said　of　her　and　of　me；　if　you　made　Susan　rich　with　your　money；　and　if　I　married　her？　The　poor　innocent　would　be　called　your　cast…off　mistress。　People　would　say：　'He　has　behaved　liberally　to　her；　and　his　needy　friend　has　taken　advantage　of　it。'　〃

The　point　of　view　which　I　had　failed　to　see　was　put　with　terrible　directness　of　expression：　the　conviction　that　I　was　wrong　was　literally　forced　on　me。　What　reply　could　I　make？　Rothsay　evidently　felt　for　me。

〃You　are　ill；〃　he　said；　gently；　〃let　me　leave　you　to　rest。〃

He　held　out　his　hand　to　say　good…by。　I　insisted　on　his　taking　up　his　abode　with　me；　for　the　present　at　least。　Ordinary　persuasion　failed　to　induce　him　to　yield。　I　put　it　on　selfish　grounds　next。

〃You　have　noticed　that　I　am　ill；〃　I　said；　〃I　want　you　to　keep　me　company。〃

He　gave　way　directly。

Through　the　wakeful　night；　I　tried　to　consider　what　moral　remedies　might　be　within　our　reach。　The　one　useful　conclusion　at　which　I　could　arrive　was　to　induce　Rothsay　to　try　what　absence　and　change　might　do　to　compose　his　mind。　To　advise　him　to　travel　alone　was　out　of　the　question。　I　wrote　to　his　one　other　old　friend　besides　myselfthe　friend　who　had　taken　him　on　a　cruise　in　the　Mediterranean。

The　owner　of　the　yacht　had　that　very　day　given　directions　to　have　his　vessel　laid　up　for　the　winter　season。　He　at　once　countermanded　the　order　by　telegraph。　〃I　am　an　idle　man；〃　he　said；　〃and　I　am　as　fond　of　Rothsay　as　you　are。　I　will　take　him　wherever　he　likes　to　go。〃　It　was　not　easy　to　persuade　the　object　of　these　kind　intentions　to　profit　by　them。　Nothing　that　I　could　say　roused　him。　I　spoke　to　him　of　his　picture。　He　had　left　it　at　my　uncle's　house；　and　neither　knew　nor　cared　to　know　whether　it　had　been　sold　or　not。　The　one　consideration　which　ultimately　influenced　Rothsay　was　presented　by　the　doctor；　speaking　as　follows　（to　quote　his　own　explanation）　in　the　interests　of　my　health：

〃I　warned　your　friend；〃　he　said；　〃that　his　conduct　was　causing　anxiety　which　you　were　not　strong　enough　to　bear。　On　hearing　this　he　at　once　promised　to　follow　the　advice　which　you　had　given　to　him；　and　to　join　the　yacht。　As　you　know；　he　has　kept　his　word。　May　I　ask　if　he　has　ever　followed　the　medical　profession？〃

Replying　in　the　negative；　I　begged　the　doctor　to　tell　me　why　he　had　put　his　question。

He　answered；　〃Mr。　Rothsay　requested　me　to　tell　him　all　that　I　knew　about　your　illness。　I　complied；　of　course；　mentioning　that　I　had　lately　adopted　a　new　method　of　treatment；　and　that　I　had　every　reason　to　feel　confident　of　the　results。　He　was　so　interested　in　the　symptoms　of　your　illness；　and　in　the　remedies　being　tried；　that　he　took　notes　in　his　pocketbook　of　what　I　had　said。　When　he　paid　me　that　compliment；　I　thought　it　possible　that　I　might　be　speaking　to　a　colleague。〃

I　was　pleased　to　hear　of　my　friend's　anxiety　for　my　recovery。　If　I　had　been　in　better　health；　I　might　have　asked　myself　what　reason　he　could　have　had　for　making　those　entries　in　his　pocketbook。

Three　days　later；　another　proof　reached　me　of　Rothsay's　anxiety　for　my　welfare。

The　owner　of　the　yacht　wrote　to　beg　that　I　would　send　him　a　report　of　my　health；　addressed　to　a　port　on　the　south　coast　of　England；　to　which　they　were　then　bound。　〃If　we　don't　hear　good　news；〃　he　added；　〃I　have　reason　to　fear　that　Rothsay　will　overthrow　our　plans　for　the　recovery　of　his　peace　of　mind　by　leaving　the　vessel；　and　making　his　own　inquiries　at　your　bedside。〃

With　no　small　difficulty　I　roused　myself　sufficiently　to　write　a　few　words　with　my　own　hand。　They　were　words　that　liedfor　my　poor　friend's　sake。　In　a　postscript；　I　begged　my　correspondent　to　let　me　hear　if　the　effect　produced　on　Rothsay　had　answered　to　our　hopes　and　expectations。

SIXTH　EPOCH。

THE　weary　days　followed　each　otherand　time　failed　to　justify　the　doctor's　confidence　in　his　new　remedies。　I　grew　weaker　and　weaker。

My　uncle　came　to　see　me。　He　was　so　alarmed　that　he　insisted　on　a　consultation　being　held　with　his　own　physician。　Another　great　authority　was　called　in；　at　the　same　time；　by　the　urgent　request　of　my　own　medical　man。　These　distinguished　persons　held　more　than　one　privy　council；　before　they　would　consent　to　give　a　positive　opinion。　It　was　an　evasive　opinion　（encumbered　with　hard　words　of　Greek　and　Roman　origin）　when　it　was　at　last　pronounced。　I　waited　until　they　had　taken　their　leave；　and　then　appealed　to　my　own　doctor。　〃What　do　these　men　really　think？〃　I　asked。　〃Shall　I　live；　or　die？〃

The　doctor　answered　for　himself　as　well　as　for　his　illustrious　colleagues。　〃We　have　great　faith　in　the　new　prescriptions；〃　he　said。

I　understood　what　that　meant。　They　were　afraid　to　tell　me　the　truth。　I　insisted　on　the　truth。

〃How　long　shall　I　live？〃　I　said。　〃Till　the　end　of　the　year？〃

The　reply　followed　in　one　terrible　word：

〃Perhaps。〃

It　was　then　the　first　week　in　December。　I　understood　that　I　might　reckonat　the　utmoston　three　weeks　of　life。　What　I　felt；　on　arriving　at　this　conclusion；　I　shall　not　say。　It　is　the　one　secret　I　keep　from　the　readers　of　these　lines。

The　next　day；　Mrs。　Rymer　called　once　more　to　make　inquiries。　Not　satisfied　with　the　servant's　report；　she　entreated　that　I　would　consent　to　see　her。　My　housekeeper；　with　her　customary　kindness；　undertook　to　convey　the　message。　If　she　had　been　a　wicked　woman；　would　she　have　acted　in　this　way？　〃Mrs。　Rymer　seems　to　be　sadly　distressed；〃　she　pleaded。　〃As　I　understand；　sir；　she　is　suffering　under　some　domestic　anxiety　which　can　only　be　mentioned　to　yourself。〃

Did　this　anxiety　relate　to　Susan？　The　bare　doubt　of　it　decided　me。　I　consented　to　see　Mrs。　Rymer。　Feeling　it　necessary　to　control　her　in　the　use　of　her　tongue；　I　spoke　the　moment　the　door　was　opened。

〃I　am　suffering　from　illness；　and　I　must　ask