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the bedford-row conspiracy(百得福特娄阴谋)-第3部分

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vice。〃    It   was   voted   a   shabby   excuse。   Lady   Gorgon   was   radiant   in   her 

barouche and four; and gladly became the patroness of the ball that was to 

ensue; and which all the gentry and townspeople; Tory and Whig; were in 

the custom of attending。         The ball took place on the last day of the races。 

On that day; the walls of the market…house; the principal public buildings; 

and the 〃Gorgon Arms Hotel〃 itself; were plastered with the following: 

     〃Letter    from    our   distinguished     representative;     William     P。  Scully; 

Esquire; etc。; etc。 

                                             〃HOUSE OF COMMONS:                   June 1; 

18。 

     〃MY   DEAR   HEELTAP;You   know   my   opinion   about   horseracing; 

and though I blame neither you nor any brother Englishman who enjoys 

that manly sport; you will; I am sure; appreciate the conscientious motives 

which induce me not to appear among my friends and constituents on the 

festival of the 3rd; 4th; and 5th instant。        If _I_; however; cannot allow my 

name     to   appear    among     your   list  of  stewards;    ONE     at  least   of  the 

representatives of Oldborough has no such scruples。 Sir George Gorgon is 

among you:        and though I differ from that honourable Baronet on more 

than   ONE   VITAL   POINT;   I   am   glad   to   think   that   he   is   with   you。  A 

gentleman; a soldier; a man of property in the county; how can he be better 

employed than in forwarding the county's amusements; and in forwarding 

the happiness of all? 

     〃Had I no such scruples as those to which I have just alluded; I must 

still   have   refrained   from   coming   among   you。       Your   great   Oldborough 



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                           THE BEDFORD…ROW CONSPIRACY 



common…drainage and inclosure bill comes on to…morrow; and I shall be 

AT   MY   POST。       I   am   sure;   if   Sir   George   Gorgon   were   here;   he   and   I 

should on this occasion vote side by side; and that party strife would be 

forgotten   in   the   object   of   our   common   interestOUR   DEAR   NATIVE 

TOWN。 

     〃There is; however; another occasion at hand; in which I shall be proud 

to   meet   him。    Your   ball   is   on   the   night   of   the   6th。 Party   forgotten 

brotherly unioninnocent mirthbeauty; OUR DEAR TOWN'S BEAUTY; 

our daughters in the joy of their expanding loveliness; our matrons in the 

exquisite contemplation of their children's bliss can you; can I; can Whig 

or Tory; can any Briton be indifferent to a scene like this; or refuse to join 

in this heart…stirring festival? If there BE such let them pardon meI; for 

one; my dear Heeltap; will be among you on Friday nightay; and hereby 

invite all pretty Tory Misses; who are in want of a partner。 

     〃I   am  here   in   the   very   midst   of   good   things;   you   know;   and   we   old 

folks like A SUPPER after a dance。           Please to accept a brace of bucks and 

a turtle; which come herewith。          My worthy colleague; who was so liberal 

last year of his soup to the poor; will not; I trust; refuse to taste a little of 

Alderman Birch's'tis offered on my part with hearty goodwill。                 Hey for 

the 6th; and vive la joie! 

     〃Ever; my dear Heeltap; your faithful 

     〃W。 PITT SCULLY。 

     〃P。S。Of   course   this   letter   is   STRICTLY   PRIVATE。        Say   that   the 

venison; etc。 came from a WELL…WISHER TO OLDBOROUGH。〃 

     This    amazing     letter  was    published;    in   defiance    of  Mr。    Scully's 

injunctions;   by   the   enthusiastic   Heeltap;   who   said;   bluntly;   in   a   preface; 

〃that he saw no reason why Mr。 Scully should be ashamed of his action; 

and he; for his part; was glad to let all friends at Oldborough know of it。〃 

     The allusion about the Gorgon soup was killing:               thirteen paupers in 

Oldborough had; it was confidently asserted; died of it。             Lady Gorgon; on 

the reading of this letter; was struck completely dumb; Sir George Gorgon 

was wild。      Ten dozen of champagne was he obliged to send down to the 

〃Gorgon Arms;〃 to be added to the festival。             He would have stayed away 

if he could; but he dared not。 



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                           THE BEDFORD…ROW CONSPIRACY 



     At   nine   o'clock;   he   in   general's   uniform;   his   wife   in   blue   satin   and 

diamonds;   his   daughters   in   blue   crape   and   white   roses;   his   niece;   Lucy 

Gorgon;   in   white   muslin;   his   son;   George   Augustus   Frederick   Grimsby 

Gorgon; in a blue velvet jacket; sugar…loaf buttons; and nankeens; entered 

the north door of the ballroom; to much cheering; and the sound of 〃God 

save the King!〃 

     At that very same   moment; and   from the south door; issued William 

Pitt Scully; Esquire; M。P。; and his staff。         Mr。 Scully had a brand…new blue 

coat   and   brass   buttons;   buff   waistcoat;   white   kerseymere   tights;   pumps 

with large rosettes; and pink silk stockings。 

     〃This   wool;〃   said   he   to   a   friend;   〃was   grown   on   Oldborough   sheep; 

this   cloth   was   spun   in   Oldborough   looms;  these buttons   were  cast in   an 

Oldborough        manufactory;      these   shoes   were    made    by   an   Oldborough 

tradesman; this HEART first beat in Oldborough town; and pray Heaven 

may be buried there!〃 

     Could anything resist a man like this?             John Perkins; who had come 

down   as one   of   Scully's   aides…de…camp;  in   a   fit of   generous   enthusiasm; 

leaped   on   a   whist…table;   flung   up   a   pocket…handkerchief;   and   shrieked 

〃SCULLY FOR EVER!〃 

     Heeltap; who was generally drunk; fairly burst into tears; and the grave 

tradesmen and Whig gentry; who had dined with the Member at his inn; 

and   accompanied        him   thence   to  the   〃Gorgon   Arms;〃   lifted   their    deep 

voices and shouted 〃Hear!〃 〃Good!〃 〃Bravo!〃 〃Noble!〃 〃Scully for ever!〃 

〃God bless him!〃 and 〃Hurrah!〃 

     The scene was tumultuously affecting; and when young Perkins sprang 

down from the table and came blushing up to the Member; that gentleman 

said;   〃Thank   you;   Jack!     THANK   you;   my   boy!         THANK   you;〃   in   a 

way which made Perkins think that his supreme cup of bliss was quaffed; 

that he had but to die:       for that life had no other such joy in store for him。 

Scully   was   Perkins's   Napoleonhe   yielded         himself   up   to   the   attorney; 

body and soul。 

     Whilst this scene was going on under one chandelier of the ballroom; 

beneath the other scarlet little General Gorgon; sumptuous Lady Gorgon; 

the daughters and niece Gorgons; were standing surrounded by their Tory 



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                           THE BEDFORD…ROW CONSPIRACY 



court; who affected to sneer and titter at the Whig demonstrations which 

were taking place。 

     〃What   a   howwid   thmell   of   whithkey!〃   lisped   Cornet   Fitch;   of   the 

Dragoons; to Miss Lucy; confidentially。             〃And thethe are what they call 

Whigth; are they?        He! he!〃 

     〃They   are   drunk;   …   me;drunk;   by   …!〃   said   the   General   to   the 

Mayor。 

     〃WHICH is Scully?〃 said Lady Gorgon; lifting her glass gravely (she 

was at that very moment thinking of the syllabubs)。               〃Is it that tipsy man 

in the green coat; or that vulgar creature in the blue one?〃 

     〃Law; my Lady;〃 said the Mayoress; 〃have you forgotten him?                     Why; 

that's him in blue and buff。〃 

     〃And a monthous fine man; too;〃 said Cornet Fitch。                 〃I wish we had 

him    in   our   twoophe'th     thix  feet   thwee;   if  he'th   an  inch;   ain't  he; 

Genewal?〃 

     No reply。 

     〃And heavens! Mamma;〃 shrieked the three Gorgons in a breath; 〃see; 

one creature is on the whist…table。         Oh; the wretch! 

     〃I'm sure he's very good…looking;〃 said Lucy; simply。 

     Lady    Gorgon     darted   at  her   an  angry    look;  and   was    about   to  say 

something very contemptuous; when; at that instant; John Perkins's shout 

taking   effect;   Master   George   Augustus   Frederick   Grimsby   Gorgon;   not 

knowing better; incontinently raised a small shout on his side。 

     〃Hear! good! bravo!〃 exclaimed he; 〃Scully for ever!                Hurra…a…a…ay!〃 

and fell skipping about like the Whigs opposite。 

     〃Silence; you brute you!〃 groaned Lady Gorgon; and seizing him by 

the   shirt…frill   and   coat…collar;   carried   him   away   to   his   nurse;   who;   with 

many     other   maids    of  the   Whig    and   Tory   parties;   stood   giggling   and 

peeping at the landing…place。 

 
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