the legacy of cain-第41部分

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〃We　shall　see；〃　she　replied。　〃Sooner　or　later；　you　will　find
yourself　saying　a　kind　word　to　my　father　for　Philip　and　me。〃　She
rose；　and　took　a　turn　in　the　roomand　stopped；　eying　me
attentively。　〃Are　you　thinking　of　Eunice？〃　she　asked。

〃Yes。〃

〃She　has　your　sympathy；　I　suppose？〃

〃My　heart…felt　sympathy。〃

〃I　needn't　ask　how　I　stand　in　your　estimation；　after　that。　Pray
express　yourself　freely。　Your　looks　confess　ityou　view　me　with
a　feeling　of　aversion。〃

〃I　view　you　with　a　feeling　of　horror。〃

The　exasperating　influences　of　her　language；　her　looks；　and　her
tones　would；　as　I　venture　to　think；　have　got　to　the　end　of
another　man's　self…control　before　this。　Anyway；　she　had　at　last
irritated　me　into　speaking　as　strongly　as　I　felt。　What　I　said　had
been　so　plainly　（perhaps　so　rudely）　expressed；　that
misinterpretation　of　it　seemed　to　be　impossible。　She　mistook　me；
nevertheless。　The　most　merciless　disclosure　of　the　dreary　side　of
human　destiny　is　surely　to　be　found　in　the　failure　of　words；
spoken　or　written；　so　to　answer　their　purpose　that　we　can　trust
them；　in　our　attempts　to　communicate　with　each　other。　Even　when
he　seems　to　be　connected；　by　the　nearest　and　dearest　relations；
with　his　fellow…mortals；　what　a　solitary　creature；　tried　by　the
test　of　sympathy；　the　human　being　really　is　in　the　teeming　world
that　he　inhabits！　Affording　one　more　example　of　the　impotence　of
human　language　to　speak　for　itself；　my　misinterpreted　words　had
found　their　way　to　the　one　sensitive　place　in　Helena　Gracedieu's
impenetrable　nature。　She　betrayed　it　in　the　quivering　and
flushing　of　her　hard　face；　and　in　the　appeal　to　the　looking…glass
which　escaped　her　eyes　the　next　moment。　My　hasty　reply　had　roused
the　idea　of　a　covert　insult　addressed　to　her　handsome　face。　In
other　words；　I　had　wounded　her　vanity。　Driven　by　resentment；　out
came　the　secret　distrust　of　me　which　had　been　lurking　in　that
cold　heart；　from　the　moment　when　we　first　met。

〃I　inspire　you　with　horror；　and　Eunice　inspires　you　with
compassion；〃　she　said。　〃That；　Mr。　Governor；　is　not　natural。〃

〃May　I　ask　why？〃

〃You　know　why。〃

〃No。〃

〃You　will　have　it？〃

〃I　want　an　explanation；　Miss　Helena；　if　that　is　what　you　mean。〃

〃Take　your　explanation；　then！　You　are　not　the　stranger　you　are
said　to　be　to　my　sister　and　to　me。　Your　interest　in　Eunice　is　a
personal　interest　of　some　kind。　I　don't　pretend　to　guess　what　it
is。　As　for　myself；　it　is　plain　that　somebody　else　has　been
setting　you　against　me；　before　Miss　Jillgall　got　possession　of
your　private　ear。〃

In　alluding　to　Eunice；　she　had　blundered；　strangely　enough；　on
something　like　the　truth。　But　when　she　spoke　of　herself；　the
headlong　malignity　of　her　suspicionsmaking　every　allowance　for
the　anger　that　had　hurried　her　into　themseemed　to　call　for　some
little　protest　against　a　false　assertion。　I　told　her　that　she　was
completely　mistaken。

〃I　am　completely　right；〃　she　answered；　〃I　saw　it。〃

〃Saw　what？〃

〃Saw　you　pretending　to　be　a　stranger　to　me。〃

〃When　did　I　do　that？〃

〃You　did　it　when　we　met　at　the　station。〃

The　reply　was　too　ridiculous　for　the　preservation　of　any　control
over　my　own　sense　of　humor。　It　was　wrong；　but　it　was
inevitableI　laughed。　She　looked　at　me　with　a　fury；　revealing　a
concentration　of　evil　passion　in　her　which　I　had　not　seen　yet。　I
asked　her　pardon；　I　begged　her　to　think　a　little　before　she
persisted　in　taking　a　view　of　my　conduct　unworthy　of　her；　and
unjust　to　myself。

〃Unjust　to　You！〃　she　burst　out。　〃Who　are　you？　A　man　who　has
driven　your　trade　has　spies　always　at　his　commandyes！　and　knows
how　to　use　them。　You　were　primed　with　private　informationyou
had；　for　all　I　know；　a　stolen　photograph　of　me　in　your
pocketbefore　ever　you　came　to　our　town。　Do　you　still　deny　it？
Oh；　sir；　why　degrade　yourself　by　telling　a　lie？〃

No　such　outrage　as　this　had　ever　been　inflicted　on　me；　at　any
time　in　my　life。　My　forbearance　must；　I　suppose；　have　been　more
severely　tried　than　I　was　aware　of　myself。　With　or　without　excuse
for　me；　I　was　weak　enough　to　let　a　girl's　spiteful　tongue　sting
me；　and；　worse　still；　to　let　her　see　that　I　felt　it。

〃You　shall　have　no　second　opportunity；　Miss　Gracedieu；　of
insulting　me。〃　With　that　foolish　reply；　I　opened　the　door
violently　and　went　out。

She　ran　after　me；　triumphing　in　having　roused　the　temper　of　a　man
old　enough　to　have　been　her　grandfather；　and　caught　me　by　the
arm。　〃Your　own　conduct　has　exposed　you。〃　（That　was　literally　how
she　expressed　herself。）　〃I　saw　it　in　your　eyes　when　we　met　at　the
station。　You；　the　strangeryou　who　allowed　poor　ignorant　me　to
introduce　myselfyou　knew　me　all　the　time；　knew　me　by　sight！〃

I　shook　her　hand　off　with　an　inconsiderable　roughness；
humiliating　to　remember。　〃It's　false！〃　I　cried。　〃I　knew　you　by
your　likeness　to　your　mother。〃

The　moment　the　words　had　passed　my　lips；　I　came　to　my　senses
again；　I　remembered　what　fatal　words　they　might　prove　to　be；　if
they　reached　the　Minister's　ears。

Heard　only　by　his　daughter；　my　reply　seemed　to　cool　the　heat　of
her　anger　in　an　instant。

〃So　you　knew　my　mother？〃　she　said。　〃My　father　never　told　us　that；
when　he　spoke　of　your　being　such　a　very　old　friend　of　his。
Strange；　to　say　the　least　of　it。〃

I　was　wise　enoughnow　when　wisdom　had　come　too　latenot　to
attempt　to　explain　myself；　and　not　to　give　her　an　opportunity　of
saying　more。　〃We　are　neither　of　us　in　a　state　of　mind；〃　I
answered；　〃to　allow　this　interview　to　continue。　I　must　try　to
recover　my　composure；　and　I　leave　you　to　do　the　same。〃

In　the　solitude　of　my　room；　I　was　able　to　look　my　position　fairly
in　the　face。

Mr。　Gracedieu's　wife　had　come　to　me；　in　the　long…past　time；
without　her　husband's　knowledge。　Tempted　to　a　cruel　resolve　by
the　maternal　triumph　of　having　an　infant　of　her　own；　she　had
resolved　to　rid　herself　of　the　poor　little　rival　in　her　husband's
fatherly　affection；　by　consigning　the　adopted　child　to　the
keeping　of　a　charitable　asylum。　She　had　dared　to　ask　me　to　help
her。　I　had　kept　the　secret　of　her　shameful　visitI　can　honestly
say；　for　the　Minister's　sake。　And　now；　long　after　time　had　doomed
those　events　to　oblivion；　they　were　revivedand　revived　by　me。
Thanks　to　my　folly；　Mr。　Gracedieu's　daughter　knew　what　I　had
concealed　from　Mr。　Gracedieu　himself。

What　course　did　respect　for　my　friend；　and　respect　for　myself；
counsel　me　to　take？

I　could　only　see　before　me　a　choice　of　two　evils。　To　wait　for
eventswith　the　too　certain　prospect　of　a　vindictive　betrayal　of
my　indiscretion　by　Helena　Gracedieu。　Or　to　take　the　initiative
into　my　own　hands；　and　risk　consequences　which　I　might　regret　to
the　end　of　my　life；　by　making　my　confession　to　the　Minister。

Before　I　had　decided；　somebody　knocked　at　the　door。　It　was　the
maid…servant　again。　Was　it　possible　she　had　been　sent　by　Helena？

〃Another　message？〃

〃Yes；　sir。　My　master　wishes　to　see　you。〃


CHAPTER　XXXVIII。

THE　GIRLS'　AGES。


HAD　the　Minister's　desire　to　see　me　been　inspired　by　his
daughter's　betrayal　of　what　I　had　unfortunately　said　to　her？
Although　he　would　certainly　not　consent　to　receive　her
personally；　she　would　be　at　liberty　to　adopt　a　written　method　of
communication　with　him；　and　the　letter　might　be　addressed　in　such
a　manner　as　to　pique　his　curiosity。　If　Helena's　vindictive
purpose　had　been　already　accomplishedand　if　Mr。　Gracedieu　left
me　no　alternative　but　to　present　his　unworthy　wife　in　her　true
characterI　can　honestly　say　that　I　dreaded　the　consequences；
not　as　they　might　affect　myself；　but　as　they　might　affect　my
unhappy　friend　in　his　enfeebled　state　of　body　and　mind。

When　I　entered　his　room；　he　was　still　in　bed。

The　bed…curtains　were　so　drawn；　on　the　side　nearest　to　the
window；　as　to　keep　the　light　from　falling　too　brightly　on　his
weak　eyes。　In　the　shadow　thus　thrown　on　him；　it　was　not　possible
to　see　his　face　plainly　enough；　from　the　open　side　of　the　bed；　to
arrive　at　any　definite　conclusion　as　to　what　might　be　passing　in
his　mind。　After　having　been　awake　for　some　hours　during　the
earlier　part　of　the　night；　he　had　enjoyed　a　long　and　undisturbed
sleep。　〃I　feel　stronger　this　morning；〃　he　said；　〃and　I　wish　to
speak　to　you　while　my　mind　is　clear。〃

If　the　quiet　tone　of　his　voice　was　not　an　assumed　tone；　he　was
surely　ignorant　of　all　that　had　passed　between　his　daughter　and
myself。

〃Eunice　will　be　here　soon；〃　he　proceeded；　〃and　I　ought　to　explain
why　I　have　sent　for　her　to　come　and　meet　you。　I　have　reasons；
serious　reasons；　mind；　for　wishing　you　to　compare　her　personal
appearance　with　Helena's　personal　appearance；　and　then　to　tell　me
which　of　the　two；　on　a　fair　comparison；　looks　the　eldest。　Pray
bear　in　mind　that　I　attach　the　greatest　importance　to　the
conclusion　at　which　you　may　arrive。〃

He　spoke　more　clearly　and　collectedly　than　I　had　heard　him　speak
yet。

Here　and　there　I　detected　hesitations　and　repetitions；　which　I
have　purposely　passed　over。　The　substance　of　what　he　said　to　me
is　all　that　I　shall　present　in　this　place。　Careful　as　I　have　been
to　keep　my　record　of　events　within　strict　limits；　I　have　written
at　a　length　which　I　was　far　indeed　from　contemplating　when　I
accepted　Mr。　Gracedieu's　invitation。

Having　promised　to　co