the legacy of cain-第63部分

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Another　of　his　delusions；　no　doubt。　〃Did　you　ever　hear　him
speak；〃　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　went　on；　〃of　a　place　called　Low　Lanes？〃

She　waited　for　my　reply　to　this　last　inquiry　with　an　appearance
of　anxiety　that　surprised　me。　I　had　never　heard　him　speak　of　Low
Lanes。

〃Have　you　any　particular　interest　in　the　place？〃　I　asked。

〃None　whatever。〃

She　went　away　to　attend　on　a　patient。　I　retired　to　my　bedroom；
and　opened　my　Diary。　Again　and　again；　I　read　that　remarkable
story　of　the　intended　poisoning；　and　of　the　manner　in　which　it
had　ended。　I　sat　thinking　over　this　romance　in　real　life　till　I
was　interrupted　by　the　announcement　of　dinner。

Mr。　Philip　Dunboyne　had　returned。　In　Miss　Jillgall's　absence　we
were　alone　at　the　table。　My　appetite　was　gone。　I　made　a　pretense
of　eating；　and　another　pretense　of　being　glad　to　see　my　devoted
lover。　I　talked　to　him　in　the　prettiest　manner。　As　a　hypocrite；
he　thoroughly　matched　me；　he　was　gallant；　he　was　amusing。　If
baseness　like　ours　had　been　punishable　by　the　law；　a　prison　was
the　right　place　for　both　of　us。

Mrs。　Tenbruggen　came　in　again　after　dinner；　still　not　quite　easy
about　my　health。　〃How　flushed　you　are！〃　she　said。　〃Let　me　feel
your　pulse。〃　I　laughed；　and　left　her　with　Mr。　Philip　Dunboyne。

Passing　my　father's　door；　I　looked　in；　anxious　to　see　if　he　was
in　the　excitable　state　which　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　had　described。　Yes；
the　effect　which　she　had　produced　on　himhow；　she　knows
besthad　not　passed　away　yet：　he　was　still　talking。　The
attendant　told　me　it　had　gone　on　for　hours　together。　On　my
approaching　his　chair；　he　called　out：　〃Which　are　you？　Eunice　or
Helena？〃　When　I　had　answered　him；　he　beckoned　me　to　come　nearer。
〃I　am　getting　stronger　every　minute；〃　he　said。　〃We　will　go
traveling　to…morrow；　and　see　the　place　where　you　were　born。〃

Where　had　I　been　born？　He　had　never　told　me　where。　Had　he
mentioned　the　place　in　Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　hearing？　I　asked　the
attendant　if　he　had　been　present　while　she　was　in　the　room。　Yes；
he　had　remained　at　his　post；　he　had　also　heard　the　allusion　to
the　place　with　the　odd　name。　Had　Mr。　Gracedieu　said　anything　more
about　that　place？　Nothing　more；　the　poor　Minister's　mind　had
wandered　off　to　other　things。　He　was　wandering　now。　Sometimes；　he
was　addressing　his　congregation；　sometimes；　he　wondered　what　they
would　give　him　for　supper；　sometimes；　he　talked　of　the　flowers　in
the　garden。　And　then　he　looked　at　me；　and　frowned；　and　said　I
prevented　him　from　thinking。

I　went　back　to　my　bedroom；　and　opened　my　Diary；　and　read　the
story　again。

Was　the　poison　of　which　that　resolute　young　wife　proposed　to　make
use　something　that　acted　slowly；　and　told　the　doctors　nothing　if
they　looked　for　it　after　death？

Would　it　be　running　too　great　a　risk　to　show　the　story　to　the
doctor；　and　try　to　get　a　little　valuable　information　in　that　way？
It　would　be　useless。　He　would　make　some　feeble　joke；　he　would
say；　girls　and　poisons　are　not　fit　company　for　each　other。

But　I　might　discover　what　I　want　to　know　in　another　way。　I　might
call　on　the　doctor；　after　he　has　gone　out　on　his　afternoon　round
of　visits；　and　might　tell　the　servant　I　would　wait　for　his
master's　return。　Nobody　would　be　in　my　way；　I　might　get　at　the
medical　literature　in　the　consulting…room；　and　find　the
information　for　myself。

A　knock　at　my　door　interrupted　me　in　the　midst　of　my　plans。　Mrs。
Tenbruggen　again！still　in　a　fidgety　state　of　feeling　on　the
subject　of　my　health。　〃Which　is　it？〃　she　said。　〃Pain　of　body；　my
dear；　or　pain　of　mind？　I　am　anxious　about　you。〃

〃My　dear　Elizabeth；　your　sympathy　is　thrown　away　on　me。　As　I　have
told　you　already；　I　am　over…tirednothing　more。〃

She　was　relieved　to　hear　that　I　had　no　mental　troubles　to
complain　of。　〃Fatigue；〃　she　remarked；　〃sets　itself　right　with
rest。　Did　you　take　a　very　long　walk？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Beyond　the　limits　of　the　town；　of　course？　Philip　has　been　taking
a　walk　in　the　country；　too。　He　doesn't　say　that　he　met　you。〃

These　clever　people　sometimes　overreach　themselves。　How　she
suggested　it　to　me；　I　cannot　pretend　to　have　discovered。　But　I
did　certainly　suspect　that　she　had　led　Philip；　while　they　were
together　downstairs；　into　saying　to　her　what　he　had　already　said
to　Miss　Jillgall。　I　was　so　angry　that　I　tried　to　pump　my
excellent　friend；　as　she　had　been　trying　to　pump　mea　vulgar
expression；　but　vulgar　writing　is　such　a　convenient　way　of
writing　sometimes。　My　first　attempt　to　entrap　the　Masseuse　failed
completely。　She　coolly　changed　the　subject。

〃Have　I　interrupted　you　in　writing？〃　she　asked；　pointing　to　my
Diary。

〃No；　I　was　idling　over　what　I　have　written　alreadyan
extraordinary　story　which　I　copied　from　a　book。〃

〃May　I　look　at　it？〃

I　pushed　the　open　Diary　across　the　table。　If　I　was　the　ob　ject　of
any　suspicions　which　she　wanted　to　confirm；　it　would　be　curious
to　see　if　the　poisoning　story　helped　her。　〃It's　a　piece　of　family
history；〃　I　said；　〃I　think　you　will　agree　with　me　that　it　is
really　interesting。〃

She　began　to　read。　As　she　went　on；　not　all　her　power　of
controlling　herself　could　prevent　her　from　turning　pale。　This
change　of　color　（in　such　a　woman）　a　little　alarmed　me。　When　a
girl　is　devoured　by　deadly　hatred　of　a　man；　does　the　feeling　show
itself　to　other　persons　in　her　face？　I　must　practice　before　the
glass　and　train　my　face　into　a　trustworthy　state　of　discipline。

〃Coarse　melodrama！〃　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　declared。　〃Mere　sensation。　No
analysis　of　character。　A　made…up　story！〃

〃Well　made　up；　surely？〃　I　answered。

〃I　don't　agree　with　you。〃　Her　voice　was　not　quite　so　steady　as
usual。　She　asked　suddenly　if　my　clock　was　rightand　declared
that　she　should　be　late　for　an　appointment。　On　taking　leave　she
pressed　my　hand　stronglyeyed　me　with　distrustful　attention　and
said；　very　emphatically：　〃Take　care　of　yourself；　Helena；　pray
take　care　of　yourself。〃

I　am　afraid　I　did　a　very　foolish　thing　when　I　showed　her　the
poisoning　story。　Has　it　helped　the　wily　old　creature　to　look　into
my　inmost　thoughts？

Impossible！


To…day；　Miss　Jillgall　returned；　looking　hideously　healthy　and
spitefully　cheerful。　Although　she　tried　to　conceal　it；　while　I
was　present；　I　could　see　that　Philip　had　recovered　his　place　in
her　favor。　After　what　he　had　said　to　her　behind　the　hedge　at　the
farm；　she　would　be　relieved　from　all　fear　of　my　becoming　his
wife；　and　would　joyfully　anticipate　his　marriage　to　Eunice。　There
are　thoughts　in　me　which　I　don't　set　down　in　my　book。　I　only　say：
We　shall　see。

This　afternoon；　I　decided　on　visiting　the　doctor。　The　servant　was
quite　sorry　for　me　when　he　answered　the　door。　His　master　had　just
left　the　house　for　a　round　of　visits。　I　said　I　would　wait。　The
servant　was　afraid　I　should　find　waiting　very　tedious。　I　reminded
him　that　I　could　go　away　if　I　found　it　tedious。　At　last；　the
polite　old　man　left　me。

I　went　into　the　consulting…room；　and　read　the　backs　of　the
medical　books　ranged　round　the　walls；　and　found　a　volume　that
interested　me。　There　was　such　curious　information　in　it　that　I
amused　myself　by　making　extracts；　using　the　first　sheets　of　paper
that　I　could　find。　They　had　printed　directions　at　the　top；　which
showed　that　the　doctor　was　accustomed　to　write　his　prescriptions
on　them。　We　had　many；　too　many；　of　his　prescriptions　in　our
house。

The　servant's　doubts　of　my　patience　proved　to　have　been　well
founded。　I　got　tired　of　waiting；　and　went　home　before　the　doctor
returned。

From　morning　to　night；　nothing　has　been　seen　of　Mrs。　Tenbruggen
to…day。　Nor　has　any　apology　for　her　neglect　of　us　been　received；
fond　as　she　is　of　writing　little　notes。　Has　that　story　in　my
Diary　driven　her　away？　Let　me　see　what　to…morrow　may　bring　forth。


To…day　has　brought　forthnothing。　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　still　keeps
away　from　us。　It　looks　as　if　my　Diary　had　something　to　do　with
the　mystery　of　her　absence。

I　am　not　in　good　spirits　to…day。　My　nervesif　I　have　such
things；　which　is　more　than　I　know　by　my　own　experiencehave　been
a　little　shaken　by　a　horrid　dream。　The　medical　information；　which
my　thirst　for　knowledge　absorbed　in　the　doctor's　consulting…room；
turned　traitorarmed　itself　with　the　grotesque　horrors　of
nightmareand　so　thoroughly　frightened　me　that　I　was　on　the
point　of　being　foolish　enough　to　destroy　my　notes。　I　thought
better　of　it；　and　my　notes　are　safe　under　lock　and　key。

Mr。　Philip　Dunboyne　is　trying　to　pave　the　way　for　his　flight　from
this　house。　He　speaks　of　friends　in　London；　whose　interest　will
help　him　to　find　the　employment　which　is　the　object　of　his
ambition。　〃In　a　few　days　more；〃　he　said；　〃I　shall　ask　for　leave
of　absence。〃

Instead　of　looking　at　me；　his　eyes　wandered　to　the　window；　his
fingers　played　restlessly　with　his　watch…chain　while　he　spoke。　I
thought　I　would　give　him　a　chance；　a　last　chance；　of　making　the
atonement　that　he　owes　to　me。　This　shows　shameful　weakness；　on　my
part。　Does　my　own　resolution　startle　me？　Or　does　the　wretch
appealto　what？　To　my　pity？　It　cannot　be　my　love；　I　am
positively　sure　that　I　hate　him。　Well；　I　am　not　the　first　girl
who　had　been　an　unanswerable　riddle　to　herself。

〃Is　there　any　other　motive　for　your　departure？〃　I　asked。

〃What　other　motive　can　there　be？〃　he　replied。　I　put　wh