dead souls(死魂灵)-第82部分

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ery　kopeck　which　I　gained　I　had　to　make　with　my　whole　strength；　for　though；　to　others；　wealth　may　come　easily；　every　coin　of　mine　had　to　be　'forged　with　a　nail　worth　three　kopecks'　as　the　proverb　has　it。　With　such　a　nailwith　the　nail　of　an　iron；　unwearying　perseverancedid　_I_　forge　my　kopecks。〃

Convulsively　sobbing　with　a　grief　which　he　could　not　repress；　Chichikov　sank　upon　a　chair；　tore　from　his　shoulders　the　last　ragged；　trailing　remnants　of　his　frockcoat；　and　hurled　them　from　him。　Then；　thrusting　his　fingers　into　the　hair　which　he　had　once　been　so　careful　to　preserve；　he　pulled　it　out　by　handfuls　at　a　time；　as　though　he　hoped　through　physical　pain　to　deaden　the　mental　agony　which　he　was　suffering。

Meanwhile　Murazov　sat　gazing　in　silence　at　the　unwonted　spectacle　of　a　man　who　had　lately　been　mincing　with　the　gait　of　a　worldling　or　a　military　fop　now　writhing　in　dishevelment　and　despair　as　he　poured　out　upon　the　hostile　forces　by　which　human　ingenuity　so　often　finds　itself　outwitted　a　flood　of　invective。

〃Paul　Ivanovitch；　Paul　Ivanovitch；〃　at　length　said　Murazov；　〃what　could　not　each　of　us　rise　to　be　did　we　but　devote　to　good　ends　the　same　measure　of　energy　and　of　patience　which　we　bestow　upon　unworthy　objects！　How　much　good　would　not　you　yourself　have　effected！　Yet　I　do　not　grieve　so　much　for　the　fact　that　you　have　sinned　against　your　fellow　as　I　grieve　for　the　fact　that　you　have　sinned　against　yourself　and　the　rich　store　of　gifts　and　opportunities　which　has　been　committed　to　your　care。　Though　originally　destined　to　rise；　you　have　wandered　from　the　path　and　fallen。〃

〃Ah；　Athanasi　Vassilievitch；〃　cried　poor　Chichikov；　clasping　his　friends　hands；　〃I　swear　to　you　that；　if　you　would　but　restore　me　my　freedom；　and　recover　for　me　my　lost　property；　I　would　lead　a　different　life　from　this　time　forth。　Save　me；　you　who　alone　can　work　my　deliverance！　Save　me！〃

〃How　can　I　do　that？　So　to　do　I　should　need　to　procure　the　setting　aside　of　a　law。　Again；　even　if　I　were　to　make　the　attempt；　the　Prince　is　a　strict　administrator；　and　would　refuse　on　any　consideration　to　release　you。〃

〃Yes；　but　for　you　all　things　are　possible。　It　is　not　the　law　that　troubles　me：　with　that　I　could　find　a　means　to　deal。　It　is　the　fact　that　for　no　offence　at　all　I　have　been　cast　into　prison；　and　treated　like　a　dog；　and　deprived　of　my　papers　and　dispatch…box　and　all　my　property。　Save　me　if　you　can。〃

Again　clasping　the　old　man's　knees；　he　bedewed　them　with　his　tears。

〃Paul　Ivanovitch；〃　said　Murazov；　shaking　his　head；　〃how　that　property　of　yours　still　seals　your　eyes　and　ears；　so　that　you　cannot　so　much　as　listen　to　the　promptings　of　your　own　soul！〃

〃Ah；　I　will　think　of　my　soul；　too；　if　only　you　will　save　me。〃

〃Paul　Ivanovitch；〃　the　old　man　began　again；　and　then　stopped。　For　a　little　while　there　was　a　pause。

〃Paul　Ivanovitch；〃　at　length　he　went　on；〃　to　save　you　does　not　lie　within　my　power。　Surely　you　yourself　see　that？　But；　so　far　as　I　can；　I　will　endeavour　to；　at　all　events；　lighten　your　lot　and　procure　your　eventual　release。　Whether　or　not　I　shall　succeed　I　do　not　know；　but　I　will　make　the　attempt。　And　should　I；　contrary　to　my　expectations；　prove　successful；　I　beg　of　you；　in　return　for　these　my　efforts；　to　renounce　all　thought　of　benefit　from　the　property　which　you　have　acquired。　Sincerely　do　I　assure　you　that；　were　I　myself　to　be　deprived　of　my　property　（and　my　property　greatly　exceeds　yours　in　magnitude）；　I　should　not　shed　a　single　tear。　It　is　not　the　property　of　which　men　can　deprive　us　that　matters；　but　the　property　of　which　no　one　on　earth　can　deprive　or　despoil　us。　You　are　a　man　who　has　seen　something　of　lifeto　use　your　own　words；　you　have　been　a　barque　tossed　hither　and　thither　by　tempestuous　waves：　yet　still　will　there　be　left　to　you　a　remnant　of　substance　on　which　to　live；　and　therefore　I　beseech　you　to　settle　down　in　some　quiet　nook　where　there　is　a　church；　and　where　none　but　plain；　good…hearted　folk　abide。　Or；　should　you　feel　a　yearning　to　leave　behind　you　posterity；　take　in　marriage　a　good　woman　who　shall　bring　you；　not　money；　but　an　aptitude　for　simple；　modest　domestic　life。　But　this　lifethe　life　of　turmoil；　with　its　longings　and　its　temptationsforget；　and　let　it　forget　YOU；　for　there　is　no　peace　in　it。　See　for　yourself　how；　at　every　step；　it　brings　one　but　hatred　and　treachery　and　deceit。〃

〃Indeed；　yes！〃　agreed　the　repentant　Chichikov。　〃Gladly　will　I　do　as　you　wish；　since　for　many　a　day　past　have　I　been　longing　to　amend　my　life；　and　to　engage　in　husbandry；　and　to　reorder　my　affairs。　A　demon；　the　tempter　Satan　himself；　has　beguiled　me　and　led　me　from　the　right　path。〃

Suddenly　there　had　recurred　to　Chichikov　long…unknown；　long…unfamiliar　feelings。　Something　seemed　to　be　striving　to　come　to　life　again　in　himsomething　dim　and　remote；　something　which　had　been　crushed　out　of　his　boyhood　by　the　dreary；　deadening　education　of　his　youthful　days；　by　his　desolate　home；　by　his　subsequent　lack　of　family　ties；　by　the　poverty　and　niggardliness　of　his　early　impressions；　by　the　grim　eye　of　fatean　eye　which　had　always　seemed　to　be　regarding　him　as　through　a　misty；　mournful；　frost…encrusted　window…pane；　and　to　be　mocking　at　his　struggles　for　freedom。　And　as　these　feelings　came　back　to　the　penitent　a　groan　burst　from　his　lips；　and；　covering　his　face　with　his　hands；　he　moaned：　〃It　is　all　true；　it　is　all　true！〃

〃Of　little　avail　are　knowledge　of　the　world　and　experience　of　men　unless　based　upon　a　secure　foundation；〃　observed　Murazov。　〃Though　you　have　fallen；　Paul　Ivanovitch；　awake　to　better　things；　for　as　yet　there　is　time。〃

〃No；　no！〃　groaned　Chichikov　in　a　voice　which　made　Murazov's　heart　bleed。　〃It　is　too　late；　too　late。　More　and　more　is　the　conviction　gaining　upon　me　that　I　am　powerless；　that　I　have　strayed　too　far　ever　to　be　able　to　do　as　you　bid　me。　The　fact　that　I　have　become　what　I　am　is　due　to　my　early　schooling；　for；　though　my　father　taught　me　moral　lessons；　and　beat　me；　and　set　me　to　copy　maxims　into　a　book；　he　himself　stole　land　from　his　neighbours；　and　forced　me　to　help　him。　I　have　even　known　him　to　bring　an　unjust　suit；　and　defraud　the　orphan　whose　guardian　he　was！　Consequently　I　know　and　feel　that；　though　my　life　has　been　different　from　his；　I　do　not　hate　roguery　as　I　ought　to　hate　it；　and　that　my　nature　is　coarse；　and　that　in　me　there　is　no　real　love　for　what　is　good；　no　real　spark　of　that　beautiful　instinct　for　well…doing　which　becomes　a　second　nature；　a　settled　habit。　Also；　never　do　I　yearn　to　strive　for　what　is　right　as　I　yearn　to　acquire　property。　This　is　no　more　than　the　truth。　What　else　could　I　do　but　confess　it？〃

The　old　man　sighed。

〃Paul　Ivanovitch；〃　he　said；　〃I　know　that　you　possess　will…power；　and　that　you　possess　also　perseverance。　A　medicine　may　be　bitter；　yet　the　patient　will　gladly　take　it　when　assured　that　only　by　its　means　can　he　recover。　Therefore；　if　it　really　be　that　you　have　no　genuine　love　for　doing　good；　do　good　by　FORCING　yourself　to　do　so。　Thus　you　will　benefit　yourself　even　more　than　you　will　benefit　him　for　whose　sake　the　act　is　performed。　Only　force　yourself　to　do　good　just　once　and　again；　and；　behold；　you　will　suddenly　conceive　the　TRUE　love　for　well…doing。　That　is　so；　believe　me。　'A　kingdom　is　to　be　won　only　by　striving；'　says　the　proverb。　That　is　to　say；　things　are　to　be　attained　only　by　putting　forth　one's　whole　strength；　since　nothing　short　of　one's　whole　strength　will　bring　one　to　the　desired　goal。　Paul　Ivanovitch；　within　you　there　is　a　source　of　strength　denied　to　many　another　man。　I　refer　to　the　strength　of　an　iron　perseverance。　Cannot　THAT　help　you　to　overcome？　Most　men　are　weak　and　lack　will…power；　whereas　I　believe　that　you　possess　the　power　to　act　a　hero's　part。〃

Sinking　deep　into　Chichikov's　heart；　these　words　would　seem　to　have　aroused　in　it　a　faint　stirring　of　ambition；　so　much　so　that；　if　it　was　not　fortitude　which　shone　in　his　eyes；　at　all　events　it　was　something　virile；　and　of　much　the　same　nature。

〃Athanasi　Vassilievitch；〃　he　said　firmly；　〃if　you　will　but　petition　for　my　release；　as　well　as　for　permission　for　me　to　leave　here　with　a　portion　of　my　property；　I　swear　to　you　on　my　word　of　honour　that　I　will　begin　a　new　life；　and　buy　a　country　estate；　and　become　the　head　of　a　household；　and　save　money；　nor　for　myself；　but　for　others；　and　do　good　everywhere；　and　to　the　best　of　my　ability；　and　forget　alike　myself　and　the　feasting　and　debauchery　of　town　life；　and　lead；　instead；　a　plain；　sober　existence。〃

〃In　that　resolve　may　God　strengthen　you！〃　cried　the　old　man　with　unbounded　joy。　〃And　I；　for　my　part；　will　do　my　utmost　to　procure　your　release。　And　though　God　alone　knows　whether　my　efforts　will　be　successful；　at　all　events　I　hope　to　bring　about　a　mitigation　of　your　sentence。　Come；　let　me　embrace　you！　How　you　have　filled　my　heart　with　gladness！　With　God's　help；　I　will　now　go　to　the　Prince。〃

And　the　next　moment　Chichikov　found　himself　alone。　His　whole　nature　felt　shaken　and　softened；　even　as；　when　the　bellows　have　fanned　the　furnace　to　a　sufficient　heat；　a　plate　compounded　even　of　the　hardest　and　most　fire…resisting　metal　dissolves；　glows；　and　turns　to　the　liquefied　state。

〃I　myself　can　feel　but　little；〃　he　reflected；　〃but　I　intend　to　use　my　every　faculty　to　help　others