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english stories-london-第8部分
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perpetually trying to bury a great; gaunt poodle; which would persist
in rising up through the damp mould as fast as I covered him up。 。 。 。
Lilian and I were engaged; and we were in church together on Sunday;
and the poodle; resisting all attempts to eject him; forbade our bans
with sepulchral barks。 。 。 。 It was our wedding…day; and at the
critical moment the poodle leaped between us and swallowed the
ring。 。 。 。 Or we were at the wedding…breakfast; and Bingo; a grisly
black skeleton with flaming eyes; sat on the cake and would not allow
Lilian to cut it。 Even the rose…tree fancy was reproduced in a
distorted formthe tree grew; and every blossom contained a miniature
Bingo; which barked; and as I woke I was desperately trying to
persuade the colonel that they were ordinary dog…roses。
I went up to the office next day with my gloomy secret gnawing my
bosom; and; whatever I did; the spectre of the murdered poodle rose
before me。 For two days after that I dared not go near the Curries;
until at last one evening after dinner I forced myself to call;
feeling that it was really not safe to keep away any longer。
My conscience smote me as I went in。 I put on an unconscious; easy
manner; which was such a dismal failure that it was lucky for me that
they were too much engrossed to notice it。
I never before saw a family so stricken down by a domestic misfortune
as the group I found in the drawing…room; making a dejected pretence
of reading or working。 We talked at firstand hollow talk it wason
indifferent subjects; till I could bear it no longer; and plunged
boldly into danger。
〃I don't see the dog;〃 I began; 〃I suppose youyou found him all
right the other evening; colonel?〃 I wondered; as I spoke; whether
they would not notice the break in my voice; but they did not。
〃Why; the fact is;〃 said the colonel; heavily; gnawing his gray
moustache; 〃we've not heard anything of him since; he'she's run
off!〃
〃Gone; Mr。 Weatherhead; gone without a word!〃 said Mrs。 Currie;
plaintively; as if she thought the dog might at least have left an
address。
〃I wouldn't have believed it of him;〃 said the colonel; 〃it has
completely knocked me over。 Haven't been so cut up for yearsthe
ungrateful rascal!〃
〃O uncle!〃 pleaded Lilian; 〃don't talk like that; perhaps Bingo
couldn't help itperhaps some one has s…s…shot him!〃
〃Shot!〃 cried the colonel; angrily。 〃By heaven! if I thought there was
a villain on earth capable of shooting that poor inoffensive dog;
I'd Why /should/ they shoot him; Lilian? Tell me that! II hope you
won't let me hear you talk like that again。 /You/ don't think he's
shot; eh; Weatherhead?〃
I saidHeaven forgive me!that I thought it highly improbable。
〃He's not dead!〃 cried Mrs。 Currie。 〃If he were dead I should know it
somehowI'm sure I should! But I'm certain he's alive。 Only last
night I had such a beautiful dream about him。 I thought he came back
to us; Mr。 Weatherhead; driving up in a hansom…cab; and he was just
the same as everonly he wore blue spectacles; and the shaved part of
him was painted a bright red。 And I woke up with the joyso; you
know; it's sure to come true!〃
It will be easily understood what torture conversations like these
were to me; and how I hated myself as I sympathised and spoke
encouraging words concerning the dog's recovery; when I knew all the
time he was lying hid under my garden mould。 But I took it as a part
of my punishment; and bore it all uncomplainingly; practice even made
me an adept in the art of consolationI believe I really was a great
comfort to them。
I had hoped that they would soon get over the first bitterness of
their loss; and that Bingo would be first replaced and then forgotten
in the usual way; but there seemed no signs of this coming to pass。
The poor colonel was too plainly fretting himself ill about it; he
went pottering about forlornly; advertising; searching; and seeing
people; but all; of course; to no purpose; and it told upon him。 He
was more like a man whose only son and heir had been stolen than an
Anglo…Indian officer who had lost a poodle。 I had to affect the
liveliest interest in all his inquiries and expeditions; and to listen
to and echo the most extravagant eulogies of the departed; and the
wear and tear of so much duplicity made me at last almost as ill as
the colonel himself。
I could not help seeing that Lilian was not nearly so much impressed
by my elaborate concern as her relatives; and sometimes I detected an
incredulous look in her frank brown eyes that made me very uneasy。
Little by little; a rift widened between us; until at last in despair
I determined to know the worst before the time came when it would be
hopeless to speak at all。 I chose a Sunday evening as we were walking
across the green from church in the golden dusk; and then I ventured
to speak to her of my love。 She heard me to the end; and was evidently
very much agitated。 At last she murmured that it could not be; unless
no; it never could be now。
〃Unless; what?〃 I asked。 〃LilianMiss Roseblade; something has come
between us lately; you will tell me what that something is; won't
you?〃
〃Do you want to know /really/?〃 she said; looking up at me through her
tears。 〃Then I'll tell you; itit's Bingo!〃
I started back overwhelmed。 Did she know all? If not; how much did she
suspect? I must find out that at once。 〃What about Bingo?〃 I managed
to pronounce; with a dry tongue。
〃You never l…loved him when he was here;〃 she sobbed; 〃you know you
didn't!〃
I was relieved to find it was no worse than this。
〃No;〃 I said; candidly; 〃I did not love Bingo。 Bingo didn't love /me/;
Lilian; he was always looking out for a chance of nipping me
somewhere。 Surely you won't quarrel with me for that!〃
〃Not for that;〃 she said; 〃only; why do you pretend to be so fond of
him now; and so anxious to get him back again? Uncle John believes
you; but /I/ don't。 I can see quite well that you wouldn't be glad to
find him。 You could find him easily if you wanted to!〃
〃What do you mean; Lilian?〃 I said; hoarsely。 〃/How/ could I find
him?〃 Again I feared the worst。
〃You're in a government office;〃 cried Lilian; 〃and if you only chose;
you could easily g…get g…government to find Bingo! What's the use of
government if it can't do that? Mr。 Travers would have found him long
ago if I'd asked him!〃
Lilian had never been so childishly unreasonable as this before; and
yet I loved her more madly than ever; but I did not like this allusion
to Travers; a rising barrister; who lived with his sister in a pretty
cottage near the station; and had shown symptoms of being attracted by
Lilian。
He was away on circuit just then; luckily; but; at least; even he
would have found it a hard task to find Bingothere was comfort in
that。
〃You know that isn't just; Lilian;〃 I observed; 〃but only tell me what
you want me to do。〃
〃Bub…bub…bring back Bingo!〃 she said。
〃Bring back Bingo!〃 I cried; in horror。 〃But suppose I /can't/
suppose he's out of the country; ordead; what then Lilian?〃
〃I can't help it;〃 she said; 〃but I don't believe he /is/ out of the
country or dead。 And while I see you pretending to uncle that you
cared awfully about him; and going on doing nothing at all; it makes
me think you're not quitequite /sincere/! And I couldn't possibly
marry any one while I thought that of him。 And I shall always have
that feeling unless you find Bingo!〃
It was of no use to argue with her; I knew Lilian by that time。 With
her pretty; caressing manner she united a latent obstinacy which it
was hopeless to attempt to shake。 I feared; too; that she was not
quite certain as yet whether she cared for me or not; and that this
condition of hers was an expedient to gain time。
I left her with a heavy heart。 Unless I proved my worth by bringing
back Bingo within a very short time; Travers would probably have
everything his own way。 And Bingo was dead!
However; I took heart。 I thought that perhaps if I could succeed by my
earnest efforts in persuading Lilian that I really was doing all in my
power to recover the poodle; she might relent in time; and dispense
with his actual production。
So; partly with this object; and partly to appease the remorse which
now revived and stung me deeper than before; I undertook long and
weary pilgrimages after office hours。 I spent many pounds in
advertisements; I interviewed dogs of every size; colour; and breed;
and of course I took care to keep Lilian informed of each successive
failure。 But still her heart was not touched; she was firm。 If I went
on like that; she told me; I was certain to find Bingo one day; then;
but not before; would her doubts be set at rest。
I was walking one day through the somewhat squalid district which lies
between Bow Street and High Holborn; when I saw; in a small theatric
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