the americanization of edward bok-第53部分

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k　by　wire　after　wire　to　keep　a　postponed　date。　He　agreed；　and　he　went。　He　realized　that　he　was　not　well；　but　he　did　not　realize　the　extent　of　his　mental　and　physical　exhaustion　until　he　came　out　on　the　platform　and　faced　the　crowded　auditorium。　Barely　sufficient　space　had　been　left　for　him　and　for　the　speaker's　desk；　the　people　on　the　stage　were　close　to　him；　and　he　felt　distinctly　uncomfortable。

Then；　to　his　consternation；　it　suddenly　dawned　upon　him　that　his　tired　mind　had　played　a　serious　trick　on　him。　He　did　not　remember　a　line　of　his　lecture；　he　could　not　even　recall　how　it　began！　He　arose；　after　his　introduction；　in　a　bath　of　cold　perspiration。　The　applause　gave　him　a　moment　to　recover　himself；　but　not　a　word　came　to　his　mind。　He　sparred　for　time　by　some　informal　prefatory　remarks　expressing　regret　at　his　illness　and　that　he　had　been　compelled　to　disappoint　his　audience　a　few　days　before；　and　then　he　stood　helpless！　In　sheer　desperation　he　looked　at　Mrs。　Bok　sitting　in　the　stage　box；　who；　divining　her　husband's　plight；　motioned　to　the　inside　pocket　of　his　coat。　He　put　his　hand　there　and　pulled　out　a　copy　of　his　lecture　which　she　had　placed　there！　The　whole　tragic　comedy　had　happened　so　quickly　that　the　audience　was　absolutely　unaware　of　what　had　occurred；　and　Bok　went　on　and　practically　read　his　lecture。　But　it　was　not　a　successful　evening　for　his　audience　or　for　himself；　and　the　one　was　doubtless　as　glad　when　it　was　over　as　the　other。

When　he　reached　home；　he　was　convinced　that　he　had　had　enough　of　lecturing！　He　had　to　make　a　second　short　tour；　however；　for　which　he　had　contracted　with　another　manager　before　embarking　on　the　first。　This　tour　took　him　to　Indianapolis；　and　after　the　lecture；　James　Whitcomb　Riley　gave　him　a　supper。　There　were　some　thirty　men　in　the　party；　the　affair　was　an　exceedingly　happy　one；　the　happiest　that　Bok　had　attended。　He　said　this　to　Riley　on　the　way　to　the　hotel。

〃Usually；〃　said　Bok；　〃men；　for　some　reason　or　other；　hold　aloof　from　me　on　these　lecture　tours。　They　stand　at　a　distance　and　eye　me；　and　I　see　wonder　on　their　faces　rather　than　a　desire　to　mix。〃

〃You've　noticed　that；　then？〃　smilingly　asked　the　poet。

〃Yes；　and　I　can't　quite　get　it。　At　home；　my　friends　are　men。　Why　should　it　be　different　in　other　cities？〃

〃I'll　tell　you；〃　said　Riley。　〃Five　or　six　of　the　men　you　met　to…night　were　loath　to　come。　When　I　pinned　them　down　to　their　reason；　it　was　I　thought：　they　regard　you　as　an　effeminate　being；　a　sissy。〃

〃Good　heavens！〃　interrupted　Bok。

〃Fact；〃　said　Riley；　〃and　you　can't　wonder　at　it　nor　blame　them。　You　have　been　most　industriously　paragraphed；　in　countless　jests；　about　your　penchant　for　pink　teas；　your　expert　knowledge　of　tatting；　crocheting；　and　all　that　sort　of　stuff。　Look　what　Eugene　Field　has　done　in　that　direction。　These　paragraphs　have；　doubtless；　been　good　advertising　for　your　magazine；　and；　in　a　way；　for　you。　But；　on　the　other　hand；　they　have　given　a　false　impression　of　you。　Men　have　taken　these　paragraphs　seriously　and　they　think　of　you　as　the　man　pictured　in　them。　It's　a　fact；　I　know。　It's　all　right　after　they　meet　you　and　get　your　measure。　The　joke　then　is　on　them。　Four　of　the　men　I　fairly　dragged　to　the　dinner　this　evening　said　this　to　me　just　before　I　left。　That　is　one　reason　why　I　advise　you　to　keep　on　lecturing。　Get　around　and　show　yourself；　and　correct　this　universal　impression。　Not　that　you　can't　stand　when　men　think　of　you；　but　it's　unpleasant。〃

It　was　unpleasant；　but　Bok　decided　that　the　solution　as　found　in　lecturing　was　worse　than　the　misconception。　From　that　day　to　this　he　never　lectured　again。

But　the　public　conception　of　himself；　especially　that　of　men；　awakened　his　interest　and　amusement。　Some　of　his　friends　on　the　press　were　still　busy　with　their　paragraphs；　and　he　promptly　called　a　halt　and　asked　them　to　desist。　〃Enough　was　as　good　as　a　feast；〃　he　told　them；　and　explained　why。

One　day　Bok　got　a　distinctly　amusing　line　on　himself　from　a　chance　stranger。　He　was　riding　from　Washington　to　Philadelphia　in　the　smoking　compartment；　when　the　newsboy　stuck　his　head　in　the　door　and　yelled：　〃Ladies'　Home　Journal；　out　to…day。〃　He　had　heard　this　many　times　before；　but　on　this　particular　day；　upon　hearing　the　title　of　his　own　magazine　yelled　almost　in　his　ears；　he　gave　an　involuntary　start。

Opposite　to　him　sat　a　most　companionable　young　fellow；　who；　noticing　Bok's　start；　leaned　over　and　with　a　smile　said：　〃I　know；　I　know　just　how　you　feel。　That's　the　way　I　feel　whenever　I　hear　the　name　of　that　damned　magazine。　Here；　boy；〃　he　called　to　the　retreating　magazine…carrier；　〃give　me　a　copy　of　that　Ladies'　Home　Disturber：　I　might　as　well　buy　it　here　as　in　the　station。〃

Then　to　Bok：　〃Honest；　if　I　don't　bring　home　that　sheet　on　the　day　it　is　out；　the　wife　is　in　a　funk。　She　runs　her　home　by　it　literally。　Same　with　you？〃

〃The　same；〃　answered　Bok。　〃As　a　matter　of　fact；　in　our　family；　we　live　by　it；　on　it；　and　from　it。〃

Bok's　neighbor；　of　course；　couldn't　get　the　real　point　of　this；　but　he　thought　he　had　it。

〃Exactly；〃　he　replied。　〃So　do　we。　That　fellow　Bok　certainly　has　the　women　buffaloed　for　good。　Ever　see　him？〃

〃Oh；　yes；〃　answered　Bok。

〃Live　in　Philadelphia？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃There's　where　the　thing　is　published；　all　right。　What　does　Bok　look　like？〃

〃Oh；〃　answered　Bok　carelessly；　〃just　like；　well；　like　all　of　us。　In　fact；　he　looks　something　like　me。〃

〃Does　he；　now？〃　echoed　the　man。　〃Shouldn't　think　it　would　make　you　very　proud！〃

And；　the　train　pulling　in　at　Baltimore；　Bok's　genial　neighbor　sent　him　a　hearty　good…bye　and　ran　out　with　the　much…maligned　magazine　under　his　arm！

He　had　an　occasion　or　two　now　to　find　out　what　women　thought　of　him！

He　was　leaving　the　publication　building　one　evening　after　office　hours　when　just　as　he　opened　the　front　door；　a　woman　approached。　Bok　explained　that　the　building　was　closed。

〃Well；　I　am　sorry；〃　said　the　woman　in　a　dejected　tone；　〃for　I　don't　think　I　can　manage　to　come　again。〃

〃Is　there　anything　I　can　do？〃　asked　Bok。　〃I　am　employed　here。〃

〃No…o；〃　said　the　woman。　〃I　came　to　see　Mr。　Curtis　on　a　personal　matter。〃

〃I　shall　see　him　this　evening；〃　suggested　Bok；　〃and　can　give　him　a　message　for　you　if　you　like。〃

〃Well；　I　don't　know　if　you　can。　I　came　to　complain　to　him　about　Mr。　Bok；〃　announced　the　woman。

〃Oh；　well；〃　answered　Bok；　with　a　slight　start　at　the　matter…of…fact　announcement；　〃that　is　serious；　quite　serious。　If　you　will　explain　your　complaint；　I　will　surely　see　that　it　gets　to　Mr。　Curtis。〃

Bok's　interest　grew。

〃Well；　you　see；〃　said　the　woman；　〃it　is　this　way。　I　live　in　a　three…family　flat。　Here　is　my　name　and　card；〃　and　a　card　came　out　of　a　bag。　〃I　subscribe　to　The　Ladies'　Home　Journal。　It　is　delivered　at　my　house　each　month　by　Mr。　Bok。　Now　I　have　told　that　man　three　times　over　that　when　he　delivers　the　magazine；　he　must　ring　the　bell　twice。　But　he　just　persists　in　ringing　once　and　then　that　cat　who　lives　on　the　first　floor　gets　my　magazine；　reads　it；　and　keeps　it　sometimes　for　three　days　before　I　get　it！　Now；　I　want　Mr。　Curtis　to　tell　Mr。　Bok　that　he　must　do　as　I　ask　and　ring　the　bell　twice。　Can　you　give　him　that　message　for　me？　There's　no　use　talking　to　Mr。　Bok；　I've　done　that；　as　I　say。〃

And　Bok　solemnly　assured　his　subscriber　that　he　would！

Bok's　secretary　told　him　one　day　that　there　was　in　the　outer　office　the　most　irate　woman　he　had　ever　tried　to　handle；　that　he　had　tried　for　half　an　hour　to　appease　her；　but　it　was　of　no　use。　She　threatened　to　remain　until　Bok　admitted　her；　and　see　him　she　would；　and　tell　him　exactly　what　she　thought　of　him。　The　secretary　looked　as　if　he　had　been　through　a　struggle。　〃It's　hopeless；〃　he　said。　〃Will　you　see　her？〃

〃Certainly；〃　said　Bok。　〃Show　her　in。〃

The　moment　the　woman　came　in；　she　began　a　perfect　torrent　of　abuse。　Bok　could　not　piece　out；　try　as　he　might；　what　it　was　all　about。　But　he　did　gather　from　the　explosion　that　the　woman　considered　him　a　hypocrite　who　wrote　one　thing　and　did　another；　that　he　was　really　a　thief；　stealing　a　woman's　money；　and　so　forth。　There　was　no　chance　of　a　word　for　fully　fifteen　minutes　and　then；　when　she　was　almost　breathless；　Bok　managed　to　ask　if　his　caller　would　kindly　tell　him　just　what　he　had　done。

Another　torrent　of　incoherent　abuse　came　forth；　but　after　a　while　it　became　apparent　that　the　woman's　complaint　was　that　she　had　sent　a　dollar　for　a　subscription　to　The　Ladies'　Home　Journal；　had　never　had　a　copy　of　the　magazine；　had　complained；　and　been　told　there　was　no　record　of　the　money　being　received。　And　as　she　had　sent　her　subscription　to　Bok　personally；　he　had　purloined　the　dollar！

It　was　fully　half　an　hour　before　Bok　could　explain　to　the　irate　woman　that　he　never　remembered　receiving　a　letter　from　her；　that　subscriptions；　even　when　personally　addressed　to　him；　did　not　come　to　his　desk；　etc。；　that　if　she　would　leave　her　name　and　address　he　would　have　the　matter　investigated。　Absolutely　unconvinced　that　anything　would　be　done；　and　unaltered　in　her　opinion　about　Bok；　the　woman　finally　left。

Two　days　later　a　card　was　handed　in　to　the　editor　with　a　note　asking　him　to　see　for　a　moment　the　husband　of　his　irate　caller。　When　the　man　came　in；　he　looked　sheepish　and　amused　in　turn；　an