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don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第56部分

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weariness of spirit。 Such was the life I led in my parents' house
and if I have depicted it thus minutely; it is not out of ostentation;
or to let you know that I am rich; but that you may see how; without
any fault of mine; I have fallen from the happy condition I have
described; to the misery I am in at present。 The truth is; that
while I was leading this busy life; in a retirement that might compare
with that of a monastery; and unseen as I thought by any except the
servants of the house (for when I went to Mass it was so early in
the morning; and I was so closely attended by my mother and the
women of the household; and so thickly veiled and so shy; that my eyes
scarcely saw more ground than I trod on); in spite of all this; the
eyes of love; or idleness; more properly speaking; that the lynx's
cannot rival; discovered me; with the help of the assiduity of Don
Fernando; for that is the name of the younger son of the duke I told
of。〃
  The moment the speaker mentioned the name of Don Fernando;
Cardenio changed colour and broke into a sweat; with such signs of
emotion that the curate and the barber; who observed it; feared that
one of the mad fits which they heard attacked him sometimes was coming
upon him; but Cardenio showed no further agitation and remained quiet;
regarding the peasant girl with fixed attention; for he began to
suspect who she was。 She; however; without noticing the excitement
of Cardenio; continuing her story; went on to say:
  〃And they had hardly discovered me; when; as he owned afterwards; he

was smitten with a violent love for me; as the manner in which it
displayed itself plainly showed。 But to shorten the long recital of my
woes; I will pass over in silence all the artifices employed by Don
Fernando for declaring his passion for me。 He bribed all the
household; he gave and offered gifts and presents to my parents; every
day was like a holiday or a merry…making in our street; by night no
one could sleep for the music; the love letters that used to come to
my hand; no one knew how; were innumerable; full of tender pleadings
and pledges; containing more promises and oaths than there were
letters in them; all which not only did not soften me; but hardened my
heart against him; as if he had been my mortal enemy; and as if
everything he did to make me yield were done with the opposite
intention。 Not that the high…bred bearing of Don Fernando was
disagreeable to me; or that I found his importunities wearisome; for
it gave me a certain sort of satisfaction to find myself so sought and
prized by a gentleman of such distinction; and I was not displeased at
seeing my praises in his letters (for however ugly we women may be; it
seems to me it always pleases us to hear ourselves called beautiful)
but that my own sense of right was opposed to all this; as well as the
repeated advice of my parents; who now very plainly perceived Don
Fernando's purpose; for he cared very little if all the world knew it。
They told me they trusted and confided their honour and good name to
my virtue and rectitude alone; and bade me consider the disparity
between Don Fernando and myself; from which I might conclude that
his intentions; whatever he might say to the contrary; had for their
aim his own pleasure rather than my advantage; and if I were at all
desirous of opposing an obstacle to his unreasonable suit; they were
ready; they said; to marry me at once to anyone I preferred; either
among the leading people of our own town; or of any of those in the
neighbourhood; for with their wealth and my good name; a match might
be looked for in any quarter。 This offer; and their sound advice
strengthened my resolution; and I never gave Don Fernando a word in
reply that could hold out to him any hope of success; however remote。
  〃All this caution of mine; which he must have taken for coyness; had
apparently the effect of increasing his wanton appetite… for that is
the name I give to his passion for me; had it been what he declared it
to be; you would not know of it now; because there would have been
no occasion to tell you of it。 At length he learned that my parents
were contemplating marriage for me in order to put an end to his hopes
of obtaining possession of me; or at least to secure additional
protectors to watch over me; and this intelligence or suspicion made
him act as you shall hear。 One night; as I was in my chamber with no
other companion than a damsel who waited on me; with the doors
carefully locked lest my honour should be imperilled through any
carelessness; I know not nor can conceive how it happened; but; with
all this seclusion and these precautions; and in the solitude and
silence of my retirement; I found him standing before me; a vision
that so astounded me that it deprived my eyes of sight; and my
tongue of speech。 I had no power to utter a cry; nor; I think; did
he give me time to utter one; as he immediately approached me; and
taking me in his arms (for; overwhelmed as I was; I was powerless; I
say; to help myself); he began to make such professions to me that I
know not how falsehood could have had the power of dressing them up to
seem so like truth; and the traitor contrived that his tears should
vouch for his words; and his sighs for his sincerity。
  〃I; a poor young creature alone; ill versed among my people in cases
such as this; began; I know not how; to think all these lying
protestations true; though without being moved by his sighs and
tears to anything more than pure compassion; and so; as the first
feeling of bewilderment passed away; and I began in some degree to
recover myself; I said to him with more courage than I thought I could
have possessed; 'If; as I am now in your arms; senor; I were in the
claws of a fierce lion; and my deliverance could be procured by
doing or saying anything to the prejudice of my honour; it would no
more be in my power to do it or say it; than it would be possible that
what was should not have been; so then; if you hold my body clasped in
your arms; I hold my soul secured by virtuous intentions; very
different from yours; as you will see if you attempt to carry them
into effect by force。 I am your vassal; but I am not your slave;
your nobility neither has nor should have any right to dishonour or
degrade my humble birth; and low…born peasant as I am; I have my
self…respect as much as you; a lord and gentleman: with me your
violence will be to no purpose; your wealth will have no weight;
your words will have no power to deceive me; nor your sighs or tears
to soften me: were I to see any of the things I speak of in him whom
my parents gave me as a husband; his will should be mine; and mine
should be bounded by his; and my honour being preserved even though my
inclinations were not would willingly yield him what you; senor; would
now obtain by force; and this I say lest you should suppose that any
but my lawful husband shall ever win anything of me。' 'If that;'
said this disloyal gentleman; 'be the only scruple you feel; fairest
Dorothea' (for that is the name of this unhappy being); 'see here I
give you my hand to be yours; and let Heaven; from which nothing is
hid; and this image of Our Lady you have here; be witnesses of this
pledge。'〃
  When Cardenio heard her say she was called Dorothea; he showed fresh
agitation and felt convinced of the truth of his former suspicion; but
he was unwilling to interrupt the story; and wished to hear the end of
what he already all but knew; so he merely said:
  〃What! is Dorothea your name; senora? I have heard of another of the
same name who can perhaps match your misfortunes。 But proceed;
by…and…by I may tell you something that will astonish you as much as
it will excite your compassion。〃
  Dorothea was struck by Cardenio's words as well as by his strange
and miserable attire; and begged him if he knew anything concerning
her to tell it to her at once; for if fortune had left her any
blessing it was courage to bear whatever calamity might fall upon her;
as she felt sure that none could reach her capable of increasing in
any degree what she endured already。
  〃I would not let the occasion pass; senora;〃 replied Cardenio; 〃of
telling you what I think; if what I suspect were the truth; but so far
there has been no opportunity; nor is it of any importance to you to
know it。〃
  〃Be it as it may;〃 replied Dorothea; 〃what happened in my story
was that Don Fernando; taking an image that stood in the chamber;
placed it as a witness of our betrothal; and with the most binding
words and extravagant oaths gave me his promise to become my
husband; though before he had made an end of pledging himself I bade
him consider well what he was doing; and think of the anger his father
would feel at seeing him married to a peasant girl and one of his
vassals; I told him not to let my beauty; such as it was; blind him;
for that was not enough to furnish an excuse for his transgression;
and if in the love he bore me he wished to do me any kindness; it
would be to leave my lot to follow its course at the level my
condition required; for marriages so unequal never brought
happiness; nor did they continue long to afford the enjoyment they
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