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masterman ready-第24部分
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e widows in their affliction; and to keep yourself unspotted in the world'。 The consequence was; that my mother had little or nothing to live upon; but she found friends who assisted her; and she worked embroidery; and contrived to get on somehow until I was eight or nine years of age。〃
〃But did not your godfather come forward to the assistance of your mother?〃 inquired Mr。 Seagrave。
〃No; sir; strange to say; he did not; and that made people talk the more。 I believe it was the abuse of him; which he did not fail to hear; and which he ascribed to my mother; which turned him away from us; perhaps it was his own conscience; for we always dislike those we have injured。〃
〃Unfortunately; there is great truth in that remark of yours; Ready;〃 observed Mr。 Seagrave; 〃still; it is strange that he did not do something。〃
〃It was very strange; sir; … at least; so it appeared at the time; but he was very fond of money; and irritated at the reports and observations which were made about him。 But; to go on; sir; I was a strong; hardy boy; and; whenever I could escape from my mother or school; was always found by the water…side or on board of the vessels。 In the summer…time I was half the day in water; and was a very good swimmer。 My mother perceived my fondness for the profession; and tried all she could to divert my thoughts some other way。 She told me of the dangers and hardships which sailors went through; and always ended with my father's death and a flood of tears。
〃We certainly are of a perverse nature; as I have often heard the clergyman say; for it appears to me that we always wish to do that which we are told not to do。 If my mother had not been always persuading me against going to sea; I really believe I might have stayed at home。 I've often thought since; how selfish and unfeeling I must have been。 I was too young to know what pain I was giving my mother; and how anxiety was preying upon her; all on my account。 Children cannot feel it; if they did; they would do otherwise; for our hearts are seldom hard until we grow older。〃
〃I agree with you; Ready;〃 said Mr。 Seagrave。 〃If children really knew how much their parents suffer when they behave ill; how alarmed they are at any proofs of wickedness in them; they would be much better。〃
〃We never find that out; sir; till it is too late;〃 continued Ready。 〃Well; sir; I was little more than nine years old; when; on a very windy day; and the water rough; a hawser; by which a vessel was fast to the wharf; was carried away with a violent jerk; and the broken part; as it flew out; struck a person who was at the edge of the wharf; and knocked him into the sea。 I heard the crying out; and the men from the wharf and from the ships were throwing ropes to him; but he could not catch hold of them; indeed; he could not swim well; and the water was rough。 I caught a rope that had been hauled in again; and leapt off the wharf。
〃Young as I was; I swam like a duck; and put the rope into his hands just as he was going down。 He clung to it as drowning men only can cling; and was hauled to the piles; and soon afterwards a boat; which had been lowered from the stern of one of the vessels; picked us both up。 We were taken to a public…house; and put into bed till dry clothes could be sent for us; and then I found that the person I had saved was my godfather; Mr。 Masterman。 Everyone was loud in my praise; and; although perhaps I ought not to say it; it was a bold act for so young a boy as I was。 The sailors took me home to my mother in a sort of triumphal procession; and she; poor thing; when she heard what I had done; embraced me over and over again; one moment rejoicing at my preservation; and the next weeping bitterly at the thoughts of the danger I had encountered; and the probability that my bold spirit would lead me into still greater。〃
〃But she did not blame you for what you had done?〃
〃Oh no; William; she felt that I had done my duty towards my neighbour; and perhaps she felt in her own heart that I had returned good for evil; but she did not say so。 The next day Mr。 Masterman called upon us; he certainly looked very foolish and confused when he asked for his godson; whom he had so long neglected。 My mother; who felt how useful he might be to me; received him very kindly; but I had been often told of his neglect of me and my mother; and of his supposed unfair conduct towards my father; and had taken a violent dislike to him; his advances towards me were therefore very coolly received。 I felt glad that I had saved him; but although I could not exactly understand my own feelings at the time; I am ashamed to say that my pleasure was not derived from having done a good action; so much as indulging a feeling of revenge in having put one under an obligation who had treated me ill; this arose from my proud spirit; which my mother could not check。 So you see; William; there was very little merit in what I had done; as; after I had done it; I indulged those feelings which I ought to have checked。〃
〃I think I could not have helped feeling the same; Ready; under such circumstances;〃 replied William。
〃The impulse which induced me to act was good;〃 replied Ready; 〃but the feeling which I indulged in afterwards took away the whole merit of the deed。 I am stating what I believe to be the truth; and an old man like me can look upon the past without bias; but not without regret。 Mr。 Masterman made but a short visit; he told my mother that he would now take care of me and bring me up to the business of a ship…builder as soon as I was old enough to leave school; and that in the meantime he would pay all my expenses。 My poor mother was very grateful; and shed tears of joy; and when Mr。 Masterman went away; she embraced me; and said that now she was happy; as I should have a profession on shore and not go to sea。 I must do justice to Mr。 Masterman; he kept his word and sent money to my mother; so that she became quite cheerful and comfortable; and everyone congratulated her; and she used to fondle me; and say; it was all through me that she was relieved from her distress。〃
〃How happy that must have made you; Ready!〃 said William。
〃Yes; it did; but it made me also very proud。 Strange to say; I could not conquer my dislike to Mr。 Masterman; I had nourished the feeling too long。 I could not bear that my mother should be under obligations to him; or that he should pay for my schooling; it hurt my foolish pride; young as I then was; and although my mother was happy; I was not。 Besides; as I was put to a better school; and was obliged to remain with the other boys; I could no longer run about the wharfs; or go on board the vessels; as before。 I did not see then; as I do now; that it was all for my good but I became discontented and unhappy; merely because I was obliged to pay attention to my learning; and could no longer have my own way。 The master complained of me; and Mr。 Masterman called and scolded me well。 I became more disobedient; and then I was punished。 This irritated me; and I made up my mind that I would run away to sea。 You see; William; I was all in the wrong; and so will all boys be who think they know better than those who have charge of them; and now only see what I probably lost by my foolish conduct。 I say probably; for no one can calculate or foresee what is to take place; but; as far as appearances went; I had every prospect of receiving a good education … of succeeding Mr。 Masterman in his business; and; very probably; of inheriting his large fortune; so that I might have been at this time a rich and well…educated man; surrounded with all the comforts and luxuries of life; perhaps with an amiable wife and large family round me; to make me still happier; instead of being what I now am; a poor; worn…out old seaman upon a desert isle。 I point this out to you; William; to show how one false and foolish step in the young may affect their whole prospects in life; and; instead of enabling them to sail down with the stream of prosperity; may leave them to struggle against the current of adversity; as has been the case with me。〃
〃It is; indeed; a good lesson; Ready;〃 said Mr。 Seagrave。
〃It is; not that I repine at my lot; even while I regret the errors that led to it。 An all…wise and gracious God disposes of us as he thinks best; and I can now say with perfect sincerity; ‘Thy will; not mine; be done'。〃
〃Your misfortunes have; however; proved an incalculable benefit to us; Ready;〃 observed Mrs。 Seagrave; 〃for had you not gone to sea; and been on board the ship when the crew deserted us; what would have become of us?〃
〃Well; madam; it is some comfort to think that a worn…out old seaman like myself has been of some use。〃
Chapter XXXII
The bleating of the kids woke them the next morning earlier than usual。 The weather was again fine; and the sun shining brightly; and Ready turned out Nanny and her progeny。 They had an excellent breakfast of fried fish; and then Mr。 Seagrave; Ready; and William went out to their work: the two first took down the tents; and spread the canvas on the ground; that it might be well dried; while William went in pursuit of the fowls; which had not been seen for a day or two。 After half…an…hour's search in the cocoa…nut grove; he heard the
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