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white lies-第34部分

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She put up her hands with a piteous cry; 〃Oh! not my face; Camille! pray do not disfigure my face。  Herekill me herein my bosommy heart that loved you well; when it was no sin to love you。〃

〃I can't shoot you。  I can't spill your blood。  The river will end all; and not disfigure your beauty; that has driven me mad; and cost you; poor wretch; your life。〃

〃Thank you; dear Camille。  The water does not frighten me as a pistol does; it will not hurt me; it will only kill me。〃

〃No; it is but a plunge; and you will be at peace forever; and so shall I。  Come; take my hand; Madame Raynal; Madame Raynal。〃

She gave him her hand with a look of infinite love。  She only said; 〃My poor mother!〃  That word did not fall to the ground。  It flashed like lightning at night across the demented lover; and lighted up his egotism (suicide; like homicide; is generally a fit of maniacal egotism); even to his eyes blinded by fury。

〃Wretch that I am;〃 he shrieked。  〃Fly; Josephine; fly! escape this moment; that my better angel whispers to me。  Do you hear? begone; while it is time。〃

〃I will not leave you; Camille。〃

〃I say you shall。  Go to your mother and Rose; go to those you love; and I can pity; go to the chapel and thank Heaven for your escape。〃

〃Yes; but not without you; Camille。  I am afraid to leave you。〃

〃You have more to fear if you stay。  Well; I can't wait any longer。 Stay; then; and live; and learn from me how to love Jean Raynal。〃

He levelled the pistol at himself。

Josephine threw herself on him with a cry; and seized his arm。  With the strength excitement lent her she got the better; and all but overpowered him。  But; as usual; the man's strength lasted longer; and with a sustained effort he threw her off; then; pale and panting; raised the pistol to take his life。  This time she moved neither hand nor foot; but she palsied his rash hand with a word。

〃No; I LOVE YOU。〃


CHAPTER XIII。


There lie the dead corpses of those words on paper; but my art is powerless to tell you how they were uttered; those words; potent as a king's; for they saved a life。

They were a cry of terror and a cry of reproach and a cry of love unfathomable。

The weapon shook in his hand。  He looked at her with growing astonishment and joy; she at him fixedly and anxiously; her hands clasped in supplication。

〃As you used to love me?〃

〃More; far more。  Give me the pistol。  I love you; dearest。  I love you。〃

At these delicious words he lost all power of resistance; she saw; and her soft and supple hand stole in and closed upon his; and gently withdrew the weapon; and threw it into the water。  〃Good Camille! now give me the other。〃

〃How do you know there is another?〃

〃I know you are not the man to kill a woman and spare yourself。 Come。〃

〃Josephine; have pity on me; do not deceive me; pray do not take this; my only friend; from me; unless you really love me。〃

〃I love you; I adore you;〃 was her reply。

She leaned her head on his shoulder; but with her hand she sought his; and even as she uttered those loving words she coaxed the weapon from his now unresisting grasp。

〃There; it is gone; you are saved from deathsaved from crime。〃 And with that; the danger was over; she trembled for the first time; and fell to sobbing hysterically。

He threw himself at her knees; and embraced them again and again; and begged her forgiveness in a transport of remorse and self… reproach。

She looked down with tender pity on him; and heard his cries of penitence and shame。

〃Rise; Camille; and go home with me;〃 said she faintly。

〃Yes; Josephine。〃

They went slowly and in silence。  Camille was too ashamed and penitent to speak; too full of terror too at the abyss of crime from which he had been saved。  The ancients feigned that a virgin could subdue a lion; perhaps they meant that a pure gentle nature can subdue a nature fierce but generous。  Lion…like Camille walked by Josephine's side with his eyes bent on the ground; the picture of humility and penitence。

〃This is the last walk you and I shall take together;〃 said Josephine solemnly。

〃I know it;〃 said he humbly。  〃I have forfeited all right to be by your side。〃

〃My poor; lost love;〃 sighed Josephine; 〃will you never understand me?  You never stood higher in my esteem than at this moment。  It is the avowal you have forced from ME that parts us。  The man to whom I have said 'I'must not remain beneath my husband's roof。  Does not your sense of honor agree with mine?〃

〃It does;〃 faltered he。

〃To…morrow you must leave the chateau。〃

〃I will obey you。〃

〃What; you do not resist; you do not break my heart by complaints; by reproaches?〃

〃No; Josephine; all is changed。  I thought you unfeeling: I thought you were going to be HAPPY with him; that was what maddened me。〃

〃I pray daily YOU may be happy; no matter how。  But you and I are not alike; dear as we are to one another。  Well; do not fear: I shall never be happywill that soothe you; Camille?〃

〃Yes; Josephine; all is changed; the words you have spoken have driven the fiends out of my heart。  I have nothing to do now but to obey; you to command: it is your right。  Since you love me a little still; dispose of me。  Bid me live: bid me die: bid me stay: bid me go。  I shall never disobey the angel who loves me; my only friend upon the earth。〃

A single deep sob from Josephine was all the answer。

Then he could not help asking her why she had not trusted him?

〃Why did you not say to me long ago; 'I love you; but I am a wife; my husband is an honest soldier; absent; and fighting for France: I am the guardian of his honor and my own; be just; be generous; be self…denying; depart and love me only as angels love'?  Perhaps this might have helped me to show you that I too am a man of honor。〃

〃Perhaps I was wrong;〃 sighed Josephine。  〃I think I should have trusted more to you。  But then; who would have thought you could really doubt my love?  You were ill; I could not bear you to go till you were well; quite well。  I saw no other way to keep you but this; to treat you with feigned coldness。  You saw the coldness; but not what it cost me to maintain it。  Yes; I was unjust; and inconsiderate; for I had many furtive joys to sustain me: I had you in my house under my carethat thought was always sweetI had a hand in everything that was for your good; for your comfort。  I helped Jacintha make your soup and your chocolate every day。  I had the delight of lining the dressing…gown you were to wear。  I had always some little thing or other to do for you。  These kept me up: I forgot in my selfishness that you had none of these supports; and that I was driving you to despair。  I am a foolish; disingenuous woman: I have been very culpable。  Forgive me!〃

〃Forgive you; angel of purity and goodness?  I alone am to blame。 What right had I to doubt your heart?  I knew the whole story of your marriage; I saw your sweet pale face; but I was not pure enough to comprehend angelic virtue and unselfishness。  Well; I am brought to my senses。  There is but one thing for me to doyou bade me leave you to…morrow。〃

〃I was very cruel。〃

〃No! not cruel; wise。  But I will be wiser。  I shall go to…night。〃

〃To…night; Camille?〃 said Josephine; turning pale。

〃Ay! for to…night I am strong; to…morrow I may be weak。  To…night everything thrusts me on the right path。  To…morrow everything will draw me from it。  Do not cry; beloved one; you and I have a hard fight。  We must be true allies; whenever one is weak; then is the time for the other to be strong。  I have been weaker than you; to my shame be it said; but this is my hour of strength。  A light from heaven shows me my path。  I am full of passion; but like you I have honor。  You are Raynal's wife; andRaynal saved my life。〃

〃Ah! is it possible?  When? where? may Heaven bless him for it!〃

〃Ask HIM; and say I told you of itI have not strength to tell it you; but I will go to…night。〃

Then Josephine; who had resisted till all her strength was gone; whispered with a blush that it was too late to get a conveyance。

〃I need none to carry my sword; my epaulets; and my love for you。  I shall go on foot。〃

Josephine said nothing; but she began to walk slower and slower。 And so the unfortunate pair came along creeping slowly with drooping heads towards the gate of the Pleasaunce。  There their last walk in this world must end。  Many a man and woman have gone to the scaffold with hearts less heavy and more hopeful than theirs。

〃Dry your eyes; Josephine;〃 said Camille with a deep sigh。  〃They are all out on the Pleasaunce。〃

〃No; I will not dry my eyes;〃 cried Josephine; almost violently。  〃I care for nothing now。〃

The baroness; the doctor; and Rose; were all in the Pleasaunce: and as the pair came in; lo! every eye was bent on Josephine。

She felt this; and her eyes sought the ground: benumbed as she was with despondency; she began now to dread some fresh stroke or other。

Camille felt doubly guilty and confused。  How they all look at us; he thought。  Do they know what a villain I have been?  He determined to slip away; and pack up; and begone。  However; nobody took any notice of him。  The baroness drew Josephine apart。  And Rose followed her mother and sister with 
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