white lies-第38部分

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This　adroit　benevolence　led　to　more　than　she　bargained　for。　　She　and　Camille　were　now　together　every　day：　and　their　hearts；　being　under　restraint　in　public；　melted　together　all　the　more　in　their　stolen　interviews。

At　the　third　delicious　interview　the　modest　Camille　begged　Josephine　to　be　his　wife　directly。

Have　you　noticed　those　half　tame　deer　that　come　up　to　you　in　a　park　so　lovingly；　with　great　tender　eyes；　and；　being　now　almost　within　reach；　stop　short；　and　with　bodies　fixed　like　statues　on　pedestals；　crane　out　their　graceful　necks　for　sugar；　or　bread；　or　a　chestnut；　or　a　pocket…handkerchief？　　Do　but　offer　to　put　your　hand　upon　them；　away　they　bound　that　moment　twenty　yards；　and　then　stand　quite　still；　and　look　at　your　hand　and　you；　with　great　inquiring；　suspicious；　tender　eyes。

So　Josephine　started　at　Camille's　audacious　proposal。　　〃Never　mention　such　a　thing　to　me　again：　oror；　I　will　not　walk　with　you　any　more：〃　then　she　thrilled　with　pleasure　at　the　obnoxious　idea；　〃she　Camille's　wife！〃　and　colored　all　overwith　rage；　Camille　thought。　　He　promised　submissively　not　to　renew　the　topic：　no　more　he　did　till　next　day。　　Josephine　had　spent　nearly　the　whole　interval　in　thinking　of　it；　so　she　was　prepared　to　put　him　down　by　calm　reasons。　　She　proceeded　to　do　so；　gently；　but　firmly。

Lo　and　behold！　what　does　he　do；　but　meets　her　with　just　as　many　reasons；　and　just　as　calm　ones：　and　urges　them　gently；　but　firmly。

Heaven　had　been　very　kind　to　them：　why　should　they　be　unkind　to　themselves？　　They　had　had　a　great　escape：　why　not　accept　the　happiness；　as；　being　persons　of　honor；　they　had　accepted　the　misery？　with　many　other　arguments；　differing　in　other　things；　but　agreeing　in　this；　that　they　were　all　sober；　grave；　and　full　of　common…sense。

Finding　him　not　defenceless　on　the　score　of　reason；　she　shifted　her　ground　and　appealed　to　his　delicacy。　　On　this　he　appealed　to　her　love；　and　then　calm　reason　was　jostled　off　the　field；　and　passion　and　sentiment　battled　in　her　place。

In　these　contests　day　by　day　renewed；　Camille　had　many　advantages。

Rose；　though　she　did　not　like　him；　had　now　declared　on　his　side。　She　refused　to　show　him　the　least　attention。　　This　threw　him　on　Josephine：　and　when　Josephine　begged　her　to　help　reduce　Camille　to　reason；　her　answer　would　be；

〃Hypocrite！〃　with　a　kiss：　or　else　she　would　say；　with　a　half　comic　petulance；　〃No！　no！　　I　am　on　his　side。　　Give　him　his　own　way；　or　he　will　make　us　all　four　miserable。〃

Thus　Josephine's　ally　went　over　to　the　enemy。

And　then　this　coy　young　lady's　very　power　of　resistance　began　to　give　way。　　She　had　now　battled　for　months　against　her　own　heart：　first　for　her　mother；　then；　in　a　far　more　terrible　conflict　for　Raynal；　for　honor　and　purity；　and　of　late　she　had　been　battling；　still　against　her　own　heart；　for　delicacy；　for　etiquette；　things　very　dear　to　her；　but　not　so　great；　holy；　and　sustaining　as　honor　and　charity　that　were　her　very　household　gods：　and　so；　just　when　the　motives　of　resistance　were　lowered；　the　length　of　the　resistance　began　to　wear　her　out。

For　nothing　is　so　hard　to　her　sex　as　a　long　steady　struggle。　　In　matters　physical；　this　is　the　thing　the　muscles　of　the　fair　cannot　stand；　in　matters　intellectual　and　moral；　the　long　strain　it　is　that　beats　them　dead。

Do　not　look　for　a　Bacona；　a　Newtona；　a　Handella；　a　Victoria　Huga。

Some　American　ladies　tell　us　education　has　stopped　the　growth　of　these。

No！　mesdames。　　These　are　not　in　nature。

They　can　bubble　letters　in　ten　minutes　that　you　could　no　more　deliver　to　order　in　ten　days　than　a　river　can　play　like　a　fountain。　They　can　sparkle　gems　of　stories：　they　can　flash　little　diamonds　of　poems。　　The　entire　sex　has　never　produced　one　opera　nor　one　epic　that　mankind　could　tolerate：　and　why？　these　come　by　long；　high…　strung　labor。　　But；　weak　as　they　are　in　the　long　run　of　everything　but　the　affections　（and　there　giants）；　they　are　all　overpowering　while　their　gallop　lasts。　　Fragilla　shall　dance　any　two　of　you　flat　on　the　floor　before　four　o'clock；　and　then　dance　on　till　the　peep　of　day。

Only　you　trundle　off　to　your　business　as　usual；　and　could　dance　again　the　next　night；　and　so　on　through　countless　ages。

She　who　danced　you　into　nothing　is　in　bed；　a　human　jelly　tipped　with　headache。

What　did　Josephine　say　to　Rose　one　day？　　〃I　am　tired　of　saying　'No！　no！　no！　no！　no！'　forever　and　ever　to　him　I　love。〃

But　this　was　not　all。　　She　was　not　free　from　self…reproach。　Camille's　faith　in　her　had　stood　firm。　　Hers　in　him　had　not。　　She　had　wronged　him；　first　by　believing　him　false；　then　by　marrying　another。　　One　day　she　asked　his　pardon　for　this。　　He　replied　that　he　had　forgiven　that；　but　would　she　be　good　enough　to　make　him　forget　it？

〃I　wish　I　could。〃

〃You　can。　　Marry　me：　then　your　relation　to　that　man　will　seem　but　a　hideous　dream。　　I　shall　be　able　to　say；　looking　at　you；　my　wife；　'I　was　faithful：　I　suffered　something　for　her；　I　came　home：　she　loved　me　still；　the　proof　is；　she　was　my　wife　within　three　months　of　my　return。'〃

When　he　said　that　to　her　in　the　Pleasaunce；　if　there　had　been　a　priest　at　hand。　　In　a　word；　Josephine　longed　to　show　him　her　love；　yet　wished　not　to　shock　her　mother；　nor　offend　her　own　sense　of　delicacy；　but　Camille　cared　for　nothing　but　his　love。　　To　sacrifice　love　and　happiness；　even　for　a　time；　to　etiquette；　seemed　to　him　to　be　trifling　with　the　substance　of　great　things　for　the　shadow　of　petty　things；　and　he　said　so：　sometimes　sadly；　sometimes　almost　bitterly。

So　Josephine　was　a　beleagured　fortress；　attacked　with　one　will；　and　defended　by　troops；　one…third　of　which　were　hot　on　the　side　of　the　besiegers。

When　singleness　attacks　division；　you　know　the　result　beforehand。　Why　then　should　I　spin　words？　　I　will　not　trace　so　ill…matched　a　contest　step　by　step；　sentence　by　sentence：　let　me　rather　hasten　to　relate　the　one　peculiarity　that　arose　out　of　this　trite　contest；　where；　under　the　names　of　Camille　and　Josephine；　the　two　great　sexes　may　be　seen　acting　the　whole　world…wide　distich；


　　　　　〃It's　a　man's　part　to　try；　　　　　　　And　a　woman's　to　deny　＇for　a　while？＇。〃


Finding　her　own　resolutions　oozing　away；　Josephine　caught　at　another　person。

She　said　to　Camille　before　Rose；

〃Even　if　I　could　bring　myself　to　snatch　at　happiness　in　this　indelicate　wayscarce　a　month　after；　oh！〃　　And　there　ended　the　lady's　sentence。　　In　the　absence　of　a　legitimate　full　stop；　she　put　one　hand　before　her　lovely　face　to　hide　it；　and　so　no　more。　　But　some　two　minutes　after　she　delivered　the　rest　in　the　form　and　with　the　tone　of　a　distinct　remark；　〃No：　my　mother　would　never　consent。〃

〃Yes；　she　would　if　you　could　be　brought　to　implore　her　as　earnestly　as　I　implore　you。〃

〃Now　would　she？〃　asked　Josephine；　turning　quickly　to　her　sister。

〃No；　never。　　Our　mother　would　look　with　horror　on　such　a　proposal。　A　daughter　of　hers　to　marry　within　a　twelvemonth　of　her　widowhood！〃

〃There；　you　see；　Camille。〃

〃And；　besides；　she　loved　Raynal　so；　she　has　not　forgotten　him　as　we　have；　almost。〃

〃Ungrateful　creature　that　I　am！〃　sighed　Josephine！

〃She　mourns　for　him　every　day。　　Often　I　see　her　eyes　suddenly　fill；　that　is　for　him。　　Josephine's　influence　with　mamma　is　very　great：　it　is　double　mine：　but　if　we　all　went　on　our　knees　to　her；　the　doctor　and　all；　she　would　never　consent。〃

〃There　you　see；　Camille：　and　I　could　not　defy　my　mother；　even　for　you。〃

Camille　sighed。

〃I　see　everything　is　against　me；　even　my　love：　for　that　love　is　too　much　akin　to　veneration　to　propose　to　you　a　clandestine　marriage。〃

〃Oh；　thank　you！　bless　you　for　respecting　as　well　as　loving　me；　dear　Camille；〃　said　Josephine。

These　words；　uttered　with　gentle　warmth；　were　some　consolation　to　Camille；　and　confirmed　him；　as　they　were　intended　to　do；　in　the　above　good　resolution。　　He　smiled。

〃Maladroit！〃　muttered　Rose。

〃Why　maladroit？〃　asked　Camille；　opening　his　eyes。

〃Let　us　talk　of　something　else；〃　replied　Rose；　coolly。

Camille　turned　red。　　He　understood　that　he　had　done　something　very　stupid；　but　he　could　not　conceive　what。　　He　looked　from　one　sister　to　the　other　alternately。　　Rose　was　smiling　ironically；　Josephine　had　her　eyes　bent　demurely　on　a　handkerchief　she　was　embroidering。

That　evening　Camille　drew　Rose　aside；　and　asked　for　an　explanation　of　her　〃maladroit。〃

〃So　it　was；〃　replied　Rose；　sharply。

But　as　this　did　not　make　the　matter　quite　clear；　Camille　begged　a　little　further　explanation。

〃Was　it　your　part　to　make　difficulties？〃

〃No；　indeed。〃

〃Was　it　for　you　to　tell　her　a　secret　marriage　would　not　be　delicate？　Do　you　think　she　will　be　behind　you　in　delicacy？　or　that　a　love　without　respect　will　satisfy　her？　yet　you　must　go　and　tell　her　you　respected　her　too　much　to　ask　her　to　marry　you　secretly。　　In　other　words；　situated　as　she　is；　you　asked　her　not　to　marry　you　at　all：　she　consented　to　that　directly；　what　else　could　you　expect？〃

〃Maladroit！　indeed；〃　said　Camille；　〃but　I　would　not　have　said　it；　only　I　thought〃

〃You　thought　nothing　would　induce　her　to　marry　secretly；　so　you　said　to　yourself；　'I　will　assume　a　virtue：　I　will　do　a　bit　of　cheap　self…　denial：　decline　to　the　sound　of　trumpets　what　another　will　be　sure　to　deny　me　if　I　don'tha！　ha！'well；　for　your　comfort；　I　am　by　no