the use and need of the life of carrie a. nation-第10部分

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mother　of　the　man　I　loved　more　than　my　own　life；　I　wanted　to　supply　his
place　if　possible。　My　father　gave　me　several　lots；　by　selling　one　of　these
and　Dr。　Gloyd's　library　and　instruments；　I　built　a　house　of　three　rooms
on　one　of　the　lots　and　rented　the　house　we　lived　in；　which　brought　us　in
a　little　income；　but　not　sufficient　to　support　us。　I　wanted　to　prepare　myself
to　teach；　and　I　attended　the　Normal　Institute　of　Warrensburg。　I　was
not　able　to　pay　my　board　and　Mr。　Archie　Gilkerson　and　wife　charged　me
nothing　and　were　as　kind　to　me　as　parents。　God　bless　them！　I　got
a　certificate　and　was　given　the　primary　room　in　the　Public　School　at　Holden。
Mother　Gloyd　kept　house　and　took　care　of　Charlien；　my　little　girl；
and　I　made　the　living。　This　continued　for　four　years。　I　lost　my　position
as　teacher　in　that　school　this　way：　A　Dr。　Moore　was　a　member　of　the
board；　he　criticised　me　for　the　way　I　had　the　little　ones　read；　for　instance；
in　the　sentence；　〃I　saw　a　man；〃　I　had　them　use　the　short　a　instead　of
the　long　a；　and　so　with　the　article　a；　having　them　read　it　as　we　would
speak　it　naturally。　He　made　this　serious　objection；　and　I　lost　my　place
and　Dr。　Moore's　niece　got　my　room　as　teacher。　This　was　a　severe　blow
to　me；　for　I　could　not　leave　mother　Gloyd　and　Charlien　to　teach　in　another
place；　and　I　knew　of　no　other　way　of　making　a　living　except　by　teaching。
I　resolved　then　to　get　married。　I　made　it　a　subject　of　prayer　and　went
to　the　Lord　explaining　things　about　this　way。　I　said：　〃My　Lord；　you
see　the　situation　I　cannot　take　care　of　mother　and　Charlien。　I　want　you　to
help　me。　If　it　be　best　for　me　to　marry；　I　will　do　so。　I　have　no　one　picked
out；　but　I　want　you　to　select　the　one　that　you　think　best。　I　want　to　give
you　my　life；　and　I　want　by　marrying　to　glorify　and　serve　you；　as　well　as
to　take　care　of　mother　and　Charlien　and　be　a　good　wife。〃　I　have　always
been　a　literalist。　I　find　out　that　it　is　the　only　way　to　interpret　the　Bible。
When　God　says：　〃Commit　thy　way　unto　the　Lord；　trust　also　in　him　he
shall　bring　it　to　pass；〃　I　believe　that　to　be　the　way　to　act。　My　faith　does
not　at　all　times　grasp　this　or　other　promises；　but　there　are　times　when
I　can　appropriate　them　and　make　them　mine；　there　are　times　when　I　can
pray　with　faith；　believing　that　I　have　the　things　I　pray　for；　other　times　it
is　not　so。

In　about　ten　days　from　that　time　I　made　this　a　subject　of　prayer；　I
was　walking　down　the　street　in　Holden　and　passed　a　place　where　Mr。
Nation　was　standing；　who　had　come　up　from　Warrensburg；　where　he　was
then　editing　the　〃Warrensburg　Journal〃。　He　was　standing　in　the　door　with
his　back　to　me；　but　turned　and　spoke。　There　was　a　peculiar　thrill　which
passed　through　my　heart　which　made　me　start。　The　next　day　I　got
a　letter　from　him；　asking　me　to　correspond　with　him。　I　was　not　surprised；
had　been　expecting　something　like　it。　I　knew　that　this　was　in
answer　to　my　prayer；　and　David　Nation　was　to　be　the　husband　God
selected　for　me。　He　was　nineteen　years　older　than　I；　was　very　good　looking；
and　was　a　well…informed；　successful　lawyer；　also　a　Christian
minister。　My　friends　in　Holden　opposed　this　because　of　the　difference
in　our　ages　and　of　his　large　family。　I　gave　him　the　loving　confidence
of　a　true　wife　and　he　was　often　very　kind　to　me。　We　were　married
within　six　weeks　from　the　time　I　got　the　letter　from　him。　Mother
Gloyd　went　to　live　with　us　and　continued　to　do　so　for　fifteen　years；　until
she　died。　My　married　life　with　Mr。　Nation　was　not　a　happy　one。　I
found　out　that　he　deceived　me　in　so　many　things。　I　can　remember　the
first　time　I　found　this　out。　I　felt　like　something　was　broken　that　could
never　be　mended。　What　a　shattered　thing　is　betrayed　confidence！
Oh；　husband；　and　wives；　do　not　lie　to　each　other；　even　though　you　should
do　a　vile　act；　confess　to　the　truth　of　the　matter！　There　will　be　some
trouble　over　it；　but　you　can　never　lose　your　love　for　a　truthful　person。　I
hated　lying　because　I　loved　the　truth。　I　hated　dishonesty　because　I　loved
honesty。　I　loved；　therefore　I　hated。　I　love　mankind　therefore　I　hated
the　enemies　of　mankind。　I　loved　God　and　therefore　hated　the　devil。
Truth　is　the　pearl　of　great　price。　Whoso　getteth　it　has　all　earth　and
heaven。

I　shall　not　in　this　book　give　to　the　public　the　details　of　my　life　as　a
wife　of　David　Nation　any　more　than　possible。　He　and　I　agreed　in　but
few　things；　and　still　we　did　not　have　the　outbreaks　many　husbands　and
wives　have。　The　most　serious　trouble　that　ever　rose　between　us　was　in
regard　to　Christianity。　My　whole　Christian　life　was　an　offense　unto　him；
and　I　found　out　if　I　yielded　to　his　ideas　and　views　that　I　would　be　false
to　every　true　motive。　He　saw　that　I　resented　this　influence　and　it　caused
him　to　be　suspicious　and　jealous。　I　think　my　combative　nature　was　largely
developed　by　living　with　him；　for　I　had　to　fight　for　everything　that　I　kept。
About　two　years　after　we　were　married；　we　exchanged　our　mutual　properties
for　seventeen　hundred　acres　of　land　on　the　San　Bernard　River　in
Texas；　part　of　which　was　a　cotton　plantation。　We　knew　nothing　of　the
cultivation　of　cotton　or　of　plantation　life。　We　took　a　car　load　of　good
furniture　with　us　and　some　fine　stock；　hogs　and　cattle。　In　packing　up　to
go　to　Texas　there　was　a　widow　who　assisted　me。　In　paying　her　for　her
services；　I　gave　her　some　worthless　things；　because　I　was　so　avaricious。
I　would　not　pay　her　money；　but　gave　her　the　things　I　did　not　want　to
carry　with　me。　I　remember　I　left　about　eight　bushels　of　potatoes　in　the
cellar　for　her　and　the　night　we　left　they　froze。　I　felt　very　much　condemned
the　way　I　treated　this　poor　woman。

We　were　as　helpless　on　the　plantation　as　little　children。　The　cultivation
of　cotton　was　very　different　from　anything　we　had　been　used　to。　A
bad　neighbor　threw　all　of　our　plows　in　the　Bernard　River　and　everything
seemed　to　go　wrong。　We　had　eight　horses　die　in　the　pasture　the　spring
after　we　moved　there。　Soon　the　money　we　took　with　us　was　gone　and
Mr。　Nation　got　discouraged。　He　went　to　Brazoria；　the　county　seat；　and
stayed　six　weeks　during　court；　for　the　purpose　of　entering　the　practice
of　law　again。

The　cotton　had　been　planted　before　he　left。　A　neighbor　named　Martin
Hanks　came　over　and　told　me　not　to　allow　the　cotton　to　go　to　waste；　said
he　would　lend　me　his　plows；　and　advised　me　to　get　a　colored　man　named
Edmond；　who　was　his　master's　overseer　in　slave　time；　to　manage　this
crop　for　me。　I　hired　five　other　negroes；　paying　them　with　things　I　had
in　the　house；　for　I　had　not　a　cent　of　money。　The　result　was　a　fine　crop　of
cotton。　Mr。　Nation's　daughter　Lola；　was　then　eleven　years　old；　and
Charlien　was　three　years　younger。　We　lived　six　miles　from　a　school；　and
just　at　a　time　when　the　girls　needed　school　most。　I　began　to　see　what　a
disastrous　move　we　had　made。　I　became　very　dispondant　and　sick　at
heart。　I　was　young　and　did　not　know　then　how　to　contend　with
disappointments　on　every　hand。　At　one　time　I　was　quite　sick　with　chills
and　fever。　I　had　nothing　in　the　house　but　meal；　some　fat　bacon　and　sweet
potatoes。　There　was　a　poor　old　man　that　we　took　in　for　charity　who
was　with　us；　named　Mr。　Holt。　I　called　him　to　my　bedside　and　asked
him　to　go　to　the　patch　and　dig　a　bushel　of　sweet　potatoes　and　take　them
to　town　and　exchange　them　for　a　little　tea；　sugar；　lemons　and　bread。
He　failed　in　this　and　was　returning　when；　he　met　a　dear；　sweet　woman；
Mrs。　Underwood；　that　I　called　my　〃Texas　Mother。〃　She　called　to　Mr。
Holt；　and　asked　him　how　I　was。　He　told　her　I　was　sick　and　out　of
anything　to　eat。　She　took　the　potatoes　and　sent　the　articles　I　wanted。
I　believe　I　should　have　died　had　he　returned　without　them；　for　I　was
almost　famished　for　food　and　sick　besides。

I　was　in　Columbia　one　day　and　stopped　at　the　Old　Columbia　Hotel；
owned　by　the　Messrs。　Park；　two　bachelors。　Mrs。　Ballenger　a　widow　was
renting　it　from　Messrs。　Park。　I　said　to　them：　〃If　you　ever　need　a　tenant；
send　for　me。〃　In　a　few　months　Mrs。　Ballenger's　daughter　died　and　she
left。　Mr。　Park　sent　for　me　to　come。　We　had　a　car　load　of　good　plain
furniture　and　bedding；　some　handsome　tableware；　but　no　money　to　buy
provisions。

Dear　old　mother　Gloyd　was　a　great　help　to　me。　She　had　once
kept　hotel　herself。　I　did　not　ask　credit；　and　this　is　how　I　got　the　money
to　begin　keeping　hotel：　There　was　an　Irish　ditcher　named　Dunn　whose
wife　did　my　work。　She　was　a　good　cook。　I　borrowed　of　Mr。　Dunn　three
dollars　and　fifty　cents；　and　with　this　money　began　the　hotel　business。　The
house　was　a　rattle　trap；　plastering　off；　and　a　regular　bed…bug　nest。
I　fumigated；　pasted　the　walls　over　with　cloth　and　newspapers；　where　the
plastering　was　off；　and　made　curtains　out　of　old　sheets。　My　purchases
were　about　like　this　for　the　first　day：　Fifty　cents　worth　of　meat；　coffee
ten　cents；　rice　ten　cents　and　sugar　twenty…five　cents；　potatoes　five；　etc。
The　transients　at　one　meal　would　give　me　something　to　spend　for　the　next。
I　assisted　about　the　cooking　and　helped　in　the　dining…room。　Mother　Gloyd
and　Lola　attended　to　the　chamber　work；　and　little　Charlien　was　the　one
who　did　the　buying　for　the　house。　I　would　often　wash　out　my　tablecloths
at　night　myself　and　iron　them　in　the　morning　before　breakfast。　I　would
take　boarders'　w