the use and need of the life of carrie a. nation-第35部分

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place　I　ever　saw。　I　do　not　know　what　is　in　other　people's　hearts。　Paul
meant　this　when　he　said：　〃Christ　Jesus　came　into　the　world　to　save
sinners　of　whom　I　am　chief；〃　Said；　this；　〃is　worthy　of　all　acceptation〃
or　was；　a　good　testimony。　Because　one　can　never　see　how　bad　the　heart
is；　until　God　sheds　the　light　to　see　it。　So　many　people　are　deceived；　as
a　blind　man。　They　may　be　in　filth；　and　do　not　know　it。　It　is　there；
but　not　seen；　for　lack　of　light。

I　was　first　condemned　by　reading　the　Psalms。　I　said：　〃If　Christians
have　impulses　to　〃rejoice〃；　clap　their　hands；　and　〃shout〃；　I　do　not
know　what　it　is。　I　find　no　response　of　gladness　in　my　heart。〃　I　trembled
with　fear　to　think　of　God　and　the　judgement　day。　This　continued　from
youth　up　to　the　age　of　forty。　At　this　time　I　received　from　Christ　the
〃Gift　of　the　Holy　Ghost〃；　the　〃Unction〃；　that　which　〃leads　unto　all
truth。〃　There　are　many　names　for　this；　I　call　it　the　Bible　name。　〃Hold
fast　the　form　of　sound　words。〃　Before　this　I　had　never　spoken　a　word
for　God　or　prayed　in　public。　At　one　time　I　was　called　on　to　do　so；　and
was　terrified　and　mumbled　out　something；　that　was　no　prayer。　Now　all
was　changed：　〃I　was　glad　when　they　said　unto　me；　let　us　go　into　the
house　of　the　Lord。〃　I　was　anxious　for　my　time　to　come　to　tell　how
good　Jesus　was　to　me。　When　I　met　my　neighbors　I　would　be　heavy…
hearted；　because　they　talked　of　servants；　house　cleaning；　the　new　fashions；
and　these　seemed　so　vain；　so　frivolous。　I　liked　to　direct　their　minds　to
speak　of　the　Scriptures；　and　of　the　ways　of　doing　work　for　God。　I
soon　found　out　I　was　not　welcome；　I　was　looked　upon　as　an　intruder；
was　often　avoided；　I　could　see　the　frowns　and　glances　of　impatience　at
my　presence。　These　would　cause　me　many　a　cry　and　mortification。　My
best　companion　was　the　Bible。　I　then　knew　what　David　meant　when　he
said：　〃More　to　be　desired　are　they；　than　gold；　yea　than　much　fine　gold；
sweeter　also　than　the　honey　and　the　honey　comb。〃　I　often　kiss　and
caress　my　Bible；　'tis　the　most　precious　of　all　earthly　treasures。

I　wonder　how　people　can　live　any　kind　of　Christian　life　without
reading　the　Scriptures　and　prayer。　If　I　neglect　this　one　day　I　feel
impatient；　restless；a　soul　hunger。　Spurgeon　is　my　favorite　of　all　ministers。
I　read　where　he　said；　〃Being　a　Christian　was　something　like　taking
a　sea　bath。　You　go　in　up　to　the　ankles　and　there　is　no　pleasure；　then
to　the　knees　is　not　much　better；　but　if　you　wish　to　know　the　pleasure　of
a　bath　take　a　'HEADER'　and　plunge。　Then　you　can　say；　How　glorious。〃
Christian　life　is　like　a　journey。　There　are　flowers　and　fruit　and　streams；
thorns；　dark　valleys　and　fires；　rocky　steeps　from　whose　summits　you
can　see　beautiful　prospects。　There　is　rest；　refreshment；　sleep　and　bitter
tearful　watchings。　'Tis　a　great　pleasure　to　me　to　be　in　a　spiritual　meeting。
To　know　by　the　testimony　how　far　they　have　traveled。　Some　one
in　the　garden　of　delights；　he　wonders　why　that　one　tells　of　the　dark
valley。　One　at　the　base　of　the　hill　cannot　understand　why　others　see
what　he　cannot。　The　young　beginner　tells　of　the　beautiful　sights　and
songs；　and　maybe　the　one　who　has　been　on　the　road　almost　a　life　time
will　tell　of　the　〃continual　heaviness；　hours　of　darkness；　and　the　smoking
furnace；　and　the　lamp。〃　I　have　found　that　the　warrior　is　never　as　bouyant
as　the　new　recruit；　in　his　dress　parade。　We　humor　children；　and　call
on　men　to　labor。　Few；　comparatively；　get　to　the　place　where　they　prefer
hard　labor；　to　endure　desolation　of　heart；　to　seek　self　in　nothing；
to　see　all　loved　but　himself；　to　see　others　exalted　but　only　abasement　for
self；　to　〃endure　hardness　as　a　good　soldier；〃　to　lay　on　the　ground；　to
eat　hard　tack；　to　make　long；　weary　marches；　footsore　and　still　fight　on；
to　suffer　traveling　over　rocks　and　thorns；　to　endure　the　loss　of　all
things。〃　I　will　take　this　last　for　mine。　'Tis　the　best；　Oh　my　God；　give
me　this！　〃He　that　goeth　forth　and　WEEPETH　bearing　precious　seeds　shall
doubtless　come　again　rejoicing；　bringing　his　sheaves　with　him。〃　I　do
not　ask　this　because　I　enjoy　suffering　but　to　prove　my　love　and　gratitude
to　Him　who　loved　me；　and　gave　Himself　for　me。

After　we　moved　to　Medicine　Lodge　the　Free　Methodists　came　there
and　held　a　meeting。　I　had　never　heard　the　doctrine　of　the　〃second
blessing〃　or　〃sanctification〃　taught。　It　was　very　interesting　to　me。　Three
women　called　to　see　me　in　my　home；　to　ask　me　if　I　had　ever　〃had　the
Gift。〃　I　told　them　I　had　something　peculiar　given　me　from　God　in
Texas；　asked　them　to　pray　to　God　to　give　this　great　blessing　to　me　or　a
witness　that　he　had　done　so。　These　sisters　were　Mrs。　Painter；　Green　and
Marvin。　I　also　prayed　for　myself。　In　about　ten　days　from　that　time　I
was　in　my　sitting　room。　It　was　raining。　A　minister　and　his　daughter
were　at　our　house　（Mr。　Laurance；　a　Baptist）。　We　were　all　quietly　reading
in　the　room。　I　was　in　meditation；　praying　and　saying：　〃Just　now；
blessed　Father；　give　me　the　witness。〃　Then　a　wonderful　thing　took　place；
which　it　is　not　〃lawful〃　or　possible　for　me　to　utter。　Something　was　poured
on　top　of　my　bead；　running　all　over　and　through　me；　which　I　call　divine
electricity。　The　two　persons　who　were　in　the　room；　Mr。　Laurance　and
his　daughter；　were　very　much　startled；　for　I　jumped　up；　clapped　my　hands；
saying：　〃I　have　this　from　God；　this　divine　Gift。〃　I　went　below　in　the
basement　that　I　might　give　vent　to　my　gratitude；　and　under　my　breath
I　walked　up　and　down；　thanking；　praising；　crying　and　laughing。

Like　the　woman　that　found　the　piece　of　silver　that　was　lost；　I　had
to　tell　my　neighbors。　I　wrapped　myself　up　to　be　protected　from　the
rain；　and　ran　to　Sister　Painters；　near　by；　then　to　Sister　Dollars　and　Marvin's
and　several　others；　to　tell　them　of　my　great　blessing。

When　I　returned　I　opened　my　Bible。　Every　word　and　every　letter
was　surrounded　with　a　bright　light。　I　turned　over　the　leaves；　and　I
saw　the　meaning　on　the　pages　at　a　glance。　There　was　a　new　light　and
meaning。　I　have　never　been　able　to　express　that　experience　in　any　other
way　than　to　say　I　was　〃eating〃　the　word　of　God。　I　could　now　understand
why　we　do　not　understand　the　figures　and　expressions　used　in　the
Bible；　because　I　have　had　several　experiences；　that　were　impossible　to
explain　by　human　language。

I　told　Mr。　Nation　that　the　Bible　was　a　new　book　to　me；　tried　to
explain　to　him；　told　him　I　now　saw　the　meaning　of　everything。　He
said：　〃Explain　Lazarus　and　the　rich　man。〃　I　turned　to　it　instantly。
The　divine　light　gave　a　new　meaning　to　me。　I　commented　thus　as　I
read　it：　〃This　rich　man　is　the　Jewish　nation；　with　its　gorgeous　temple
service。　The　poor　man　is　the　Gentile　nations　called　dogs；　no　temple；　no
altar；　no　God；　no　healing；　like　a　man　with　an　incurable　loathsome　disease。
These　begged　from　the　Jews　the　crumbs　that　fell　to　their　dogs。　This　rich
man　had　much　goods。　He　could　have　shared　to　bless；　but　through　lack
of　charity　he　withheld。

The　beggar　died；　and　angels　took　him　to　Abraham's　bosom；　the　very
place　the　Jews　thought　was　only　for　them。　This　is　a　figure　of　the
death　to　sin；　and　the　life　to　righteousness。　The　natural　must　die　before
the　spiritual　can　live。　The　rich　man　died；　and　was　buried。　The　Jewish
nation　died　as　it　is　here　predicted；　and　in　hell；　he　lifted　up　his　eyes；　being
in　torments。　It　is　not　said　that　the　Gentiles；　or　Lazarus　were　buried。
The　Jews　as　a　nation　are　dead；　never　to　be　resurrected。　They　have　been
scattered　abroad　in　torments；　a　people　without　a　land；　a　hiss　and　a　by…
word；　as　God　said。　The　Jew　sees　the　Gentiles　with　the　good　things；　he
once　had。　Has　time　and　time　again　begged　relief　from　them。　The　Jews
wish　no　companionship　in　their　misery；　have　no　missionaries。　Five　is
a　number　applied　to　humanity。five　senses；　five　fingers；　five　toes。　The
gulf　spoken　of　as　being　impassable；　is　the　separateness　of　the　Jews　from
all　others。

The　rich　man　wants　one　from　the　dead　to　go　to　his　five　brethren；　or
humanity。　Abraham　or　the　Gospel　reminds　the　Jew　that　Moses　and
the　prophets　were　as　convincing；　they　would　not　believe　them。　Christ
said：　〃If　ye　had　believed　Moses；　ye　would　have　believed　me　for　he
wrote　of　me。　If　ye　believe　not　him；　neither　will　ye　believe；　though　one
arose　from　the　dead。〃　Christ　in　this　parable　prophesied　of　his　own
death　and　resurrection；　they　did　not　believe　when　he　arose　from　the　dead。

Scripture　was　given　a　meaning　I　had　never　heard　of　before。　This
light　continued　for　about　three　days。　Oh！　if　I　had　devoted　all　my　time
then　to　reading　while　I　had　this　divine　light！　We　never　know　the　value
of　any　blessing；　until　it　is　gone。　Persons　almost　universally　say　of　me：
〃You　have　studied　and　remember　so　much　of　the　Bible；〃　but　this　is　a
gift　from　God。　I　know　why　God　gave　this　to　me。　Because　I　have　always
been　a　reader　and　a　student　of　holy　teachings；　even　when　it　was　sealed；
and　often　to　me；　contradictory。　〃If　any　will　do　His　will；　they　shall
know　of　the　doctrine。〃　Jesus　said：　〃Search　the　Scriptures。〃　Study　to
show　thyself　a　workman　well　approved　unto　God；　that　needeth　not　to
be　ashamed；　rightly　divining　the　word　of　truth。〃　'Tis　a　sweet　love　letter
by　an　independent　God　to　a　dependent　people。　〃Oh！　the　depth　of　the
wisdom；　both　of　the　knowledge　and　power　of　Go