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remember the alamo-第21部分

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Worth waiting his arrival。  Fortunately there was nothing but
good news for the doctor。  Luis had seen everything through
the medium of his own happiness; and he described the
midnight meal and the Senora's amiability with the utmost
freedom from anything unpleasant。  Rachela's interference he
treated with scornful indifference; and yet it affected
Worth's mind unpleasantly。  For it went straight to the source
of offence。  〃She must have had Fray Ignatius behind her。  And
my poor Maria; she will be as dough for them to knead as they
desire to!〃

And; in fact; as he was thus thinking; the Senora was lying
awake in her bed; anticipating her confessor's next visit。 
She was almost glad the norther was still blowing。  It would
give her another day's respite; and 〃so many things happen as
the clock goes round;〃 she reflected。  Perhaps even her
Roberto might arrive; it would not be more wonderful than the
visit of Luis Alveda。

But very early in the day she saw the father hurrying up the
oleander avenue。  The wind tossed his gown; and blew his hat
backward and sideways; and compelled him to make undignified
haste。  And such little things affect the mental poise and
mood!  The Senora smiled at the funny figure he made; and with
the smile came a feeling of resistance to his tyranny;
and a stubborn determination to defend her own conduct。

He came into her room with a doleful countenance; saying; as
he crossed himself; 〃God be here!〃

〃And with you; father;〃 answered the Senora; cheerfullya
mood she had assumed at the last moment; by a kind of
instinct。

〃There is evil news on every hand my daughter。  The heretics
are swarming like wolves around the Missions。  Several of our
holy brothers have endured the last extremity。  These wolves
will even enter the city; and you will be in danger。  I have
come to take you to the convent。  There; Holy Mary will be
your safety。〃

〃But these wolves might attack the convent; father!〃

〃Our Blessed Lady is stronger than they。  She has always kept
her own。〃

〃Blessed be the hand of God and Mary! will trust in them。  Ah;
Antonia!  Listen to Fray Ignatius!  He says we must go to the
conventthe heretics are coming。  They have even slain some
priests at the Mission。〃

〃Fray Ignatius has been misinformed; dear mother。  When
a man wears a gown and has no arms Americans do not molest
him。  That is certain。  As for the convent it is impossible。 
My father forbade it。  If the Americans enter the city; he is
with them。  He will protect us; if we should need it; which is
not likely。〃

〃Disobedient one!〃

〃Pardon。  I wish only to obey the commands of my father。〃

〃I absolve you from them。〃

〃They are between God and my soul。  There is no absolution
from duty。〃

〃Grace of God!  Hear you; Senora!  Hear you the rebellious and
disobedient one!  She has defied me to my face!  She is near
to being anathema!  She is not your daughter!  She is
bewitched。  Some evil spirit has possession of her。  Let no
one touch her or speak to her; it shall be a mortal sin。〃

Antonia fell at her mother's knee。  〃Mi madre!  I am your
daughter; your Antonia; that you carried in your breast; and
that loves you better than life。  Permit me not to be accused
of sinto be called a devil。  Mother; speak for me。〃

At this moment Isabel entered。  Seeing the distress of
her mother and sister she hastened to them; but Fray Ignatius
stepped between; and extending his arms forbade her nearer
approach。

〃I forbid you to speak to your sister。  I forbid you to touch
her; to give her food; or water; or sympathy; until she has
humbled herself; and obtained the forgiveness of her sin。〃

Then mother love stood up triumphant over superstition。  〃I
and my daughter are the same;〃 said the Senora; and she gave
her hand to Antonia。  〃If she has sinned; we will bear the
penance together; she and I together。〃

〃I command you to stand apart。  For the good of Antonia's
sinful soul; I command you to withdraw yourself from her。〃

〃She is my daughter; father。  I will bear the sin and the
punishment with her。  The Holy Mother will understand me。  To
her I will go。〃

The door of her room was at hand; she stepped swiftly to it;
and putting her daughters before her; passed in and turned the
key。

The movement took the priest by surprise; and yet he was
secretly satisfied with it。  He had permitted himself to act
with an imprudence most unusual。  He had allowed the
Senora to find out her own moral strength; and made a
situation for her in which she had acted not only without his
support; but against his authority。

〃And yet;〃 he muttered; 〃so much depends upon my persuading
her into the convent; however; nothing now is to be done to…
day; except to see Rachela。  Saint Joseph! if these American
heretics were only in my power!  What a long joy I would make
of them!  I would cut a throatjust one throatevery day of
my life。〃

The hatred which could contemplate a vengeance so long drawn
out was on his dark face; yet; it is but justice to say; that
he sincerely believed it to be a holy hatred。  The foes of the
church; he regarded as the foes of God; and his anger as a
just zeal for the honor of the Lord of Hosts。  Beside which;
it included a far more tangible cause。

The accumulated treasures of the Missions; their gold and
gems; their costly vestments and holy vessels; had been
removed to the convent for safety。  〃These infidels of
Americans give to women the honor they should give to God and
Holy Church;〃 he said to his brethren。  〃They will not
suffer the Sisters to be molested; and our wealth will be safe
wherever they are。〃

But this wealth was really so immense; that he believed it
might be well to secure it still further; and knowing the
position Dr。 Worth held among his countrymen; he resolved to
induce his wife and daughters to seek refuge within the
convent。  They were; in fact; to be held as hostages; for the
protection of the property of the Church。

That he should fail in his plan was intolerable to him。  He
had been so confident of success。  He imagined the smile on
the face of Fray Sarapiam; and the warning against self…
confidence he would receive from his superior; and he vowed by
Saint Joseph that he would not suffer himself to be so
mortified by three women。

Had he seen the Senora after the first excitement of her
rebellion was over; he would have been satisfied of the
validity of his authority; at least as regarded her。  She
flung herself at the foot of her altar; weeping and beating
her breast in a passion of self…accusation and contrition。 
Certainly; she had stood by her daughter in the presence
of the priest; but in her room she withdrew herself from the
poor girl as if she were a spiritual leper。

Antonia at a distance watched the self…abasement of her
mother。  She could not weep; but she was white as clay; and
her heart was swollen with a sense of wrong and injustice;
until breathing was almost suffocation。  She looked with a
piteous entreaty at Isabel。  Her little sister had taken a
seat at the extremity of the room away from her。  She watched
Antonia with eyes full of terror。  But there was no sympathy
in her face; only an uncertainty which seemed to speak to
herto touch her and her mother was broken…hearted with
shame and grief。

The anxiety was also a dumb one。  Until the Senora rose from
her knees; there was not a movement made; not a word uttered。 
The girls waited shivering with cold; sick with fear; until
she spoke。  Even then her words were cold as the wind outside:

〃Go to your room; Antonia。  You have not only sinned; you have
made me sin also。  Alas!  Alas!  Miserable mother!  Holy
Maria! pray for me。〃

〃Mi madre; I am innocent of wrong。  I have committed no sin。 
Is it a sin to obey my father?  Isabel; darling; speak for
me。〃

〃But; then; what have you done; Antonia?〃

〃Fray Ignatius wants us to go to the convent。  I refused。  My
father made me promise to do so。  Is not our first duty to our
father?  Mother; is it not?

〃No; no; to Godand to Fray Ignatius; as the priest of God。 
He says we ought to go to the convent。  He knows best。  We
have been disobedient and wicked。〃

〃Isabel; speak; my dear one。  Tell mi madre if you think we
should go。〃

There was a moment's wavering; and then Isabel went to her
mother and caressed her as only Isabel could caress her; and
with the kisses; she said boldly:  〃Mi madre; we will not go
to the convent。  Not any of us。  It is a dreadful place; even
for a happy child。  Oh; how cold and still are the Sisters! 
They are like stone figures that move about。〃

〃Hush; child!  I cannot listen to you!  Go away!  I must be
alone。  I must think。  I must pray。  Only the Mother of
Sorrows can help me。〃

It was a miserable sequence to the happy night; and Antonia
was really terrified at the position in which she found
herself。  If the Americans should fall; nothing but flight; or
uncompromising submission to Fray Ignatius; remained for her。 
She knew only too well how miserable her life could be made;
what moral torture could be inflicted; what spiritual
servitude exacted。  In a moment of time she had comprehended
her danger; a
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