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the kentons-第29部分
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running after him? Momma; I am tired of him! I wish he wouldn't speak
to me any more。〃
〃Why! do you really dislike him; Ellen?〃
〃No; not dislike him。 But it tires me to have him trying to amuse me。
Don't you understand?〃
Mrs。 Kenton said yes; she understood; but she was clear only of the fact
that Ellen seemed flushed and weak at that moment。 She believed that it
was Miss Rasmith and not Mr。 Breckon who was to blame; but she said:
〃Well; you needn't worry about it long。 It will only be a day or two now
till we get to Boulogne; and then he will leave us。 Hadn't you better go
down now; and rest awhile in your berth? I will bring your things。〃
Ellen rose; pulling her wraps from her skirts to give them to her mother。
A voice from behind said between their meeting shoulders: 〃Oh; are you
going down? I was just coming to beg Miss Kenton to take a little walk
with me;〃 and they looked round together and met Breckon's smiling face。
〃I'm afraid;〃 Mrs。 Kenton began; and then; like a well…trained American
mother; she stopped and left the affair to her daughter。
〃Do you think you can get down with them; momma?〃 the girl asked; and
somehow her mother's heart was lightened by her evasion; not to call it
uncandor。 It was at least not morbid; it was at least like other girls;
and Mrs。 Kenton imparted what comfort there was in it to the judge; when
he asked where she had left Ellen。
〃Not that it's any use;〃 she sighed; when she had seen him share it with
a certain shamefacedness。 〃That woman has got her grip on him; and she
doesn't mean to let go。〃
Kenton understood Miss Rasmith by that woman; but he would not allow
himself to be so easily cast down。 This was one of the things that
provoked Mrs。 Kenton with him; when he had once taken hope he would not
abandon it without reason。 〃I don't see any evidence of her having her
grip on him。 I've noticed him; and he doesn't seem attentive to her。
I should say he tried to avoid her。 He certainly doesn't avoid Ellen。〃
〃What are you thinking of; Rufus?〃
〃What are you? You know we'd both be glad if he fancied her。〃
〃Well; suppose we would? I don't deny it。 He is one of the most
agreeable gentlemen I ever saw; one of the kindest and nicest。〃
〃He's more than that;〃 said the judge。 〃I've been sounding him on
various points; and I don't see where he's wrong。 Of course; I don't
know much about his religious persuasion; if it is one; but I think I'm a
pretty fair judge of character; and that young man has character。 He
isn't a light person; though he likes joking and laughing; and he
appreciates Ellen。〃
〃Yes; so do we。 And there's about as much prospect of his marrying her。
Rufus; it's pretty hard! She's just in the mood to be taken with him;
but she won't let herself; because she knows it's of no use。 That Miss
Rasmith has been telling her how much he is run after; and I could see
that that settled it for Ellen as plainly as if she said so。 More
plainly; for there's enough of the girl in her to make her say one thing
when she means another。 She was just saying she was sick of him; and
never wanted to speak to him again; when he came up and asked her to
walk; and she went with him instantly。 I knew what she meant。 She
wasn't going to let him suppose that anything Miss Rasmith had said was
going to change her。〃
〃Well; then;〃 said the judge; 〃I don't see what you're scared at。〃
I'm not SCARED。 But; oh; Rufus! It can't come to anything! There isn't
time!〃 An hysterical hope trembled in her asseveration of despair that
made him smile。
〃I guess if time's all that's wanted〃
〃He is going to get off at Boulogne。〃
〃Well; we can get off there; too。〃
〃Rufus; if you dare to think of such a thing!〃
〃I don't。 But Europe isn't so big but what he can find us again if he
wants to。〃
〃Ah; if he wants to!〃
Ellen seemed to have let her mother take her languor below along with the
shawls she had given her。 Buttoned into a close jacket; and skirted
short for the sea; she pushed against the breeze at Breckon's elbow with
a vigor that made him look his surprise at her。 Girl…like; she took it
that something was wrong with her dress; and ran herself over with an
uneasy eye。
Then he explained: 〃I was just thinking how much you were like Miss
Lottie…if you'll excuse my being so personal。 And it never struck me
before。〃
〃I didn't suppose we looked alike;〃 said Ellen。
〃No; certainly。 I shouldn't have taken you for sisters。 And yet; just
now; I felt that you were like her。 You seem so much stronger this
morningperhaps it's that the voyage is doing you good。 Shall you be
sorry to have it end?〃
〃Shall you? That's the way Lottie would answer。〃
Breckon laughed。 〃Yes; it is。 I shall be very sorry。 I should be
willing to have it rough again; it that would make it longer。 I liked
it's being rough。 We had it to ourselves。〃 He had not thought how that
sounded; but if it sounded particular; she did not notice it。
She merely said; 〃I was surprised not to be seasick; too。〃
〃And should you be willing to have it rough again?〃
〃You wouldn't see anything more of your friends; then。〃
〃Ah; yes; Miss Rasmith。 She is a great talker; Did you find her
interesting?〃
〃She was very interesting。〃
〃Yes? What did she talk about?〃
Ellen realized the fact too late to withhold 〃Why; about you。〃
〃And was that what made her interesting?〃
〃Now; what would Lottie say to such a thing as that?〃 asked Ellen;
gayly。
〃Something terribly cutting; I'm afraid。 But don't you! From you I
don't want to believe I deserve it; no matter what Miss Rasmith said me。〃
〃Oh; she didn't say anything very bad。 Unless you mind being a universal
favorite。〃
〃Well; it makes a man out rather silly。〃
〃But you can't help that。〃
〃Now you remind me of Miss Lottie again!〃
〃But I didn't mean that;〃 said Ellen; blushing and laughing。 〃I hope you
wouldn't think I could be so pert。〃
〃I wouldn't think anything that wasn't to your praise;〃 said Breckon; and
a pause ensued; after which the words he added seemed tame and flat。
〃I suspect Miss Rasmith has been idealizing the situation。 At any rate;
I shouldn't advise you to trust her report implicitly。 I'm at the head
of a society; you know; ethical or sociological; or altruistic; whatever
you choose to call it; which hasn't any very definite object of worship;
and yet meets every Sunday for a sort of worship; and I have to be in the
pulpit。 So you see?〃
Ellen said; 〃I think I understand;〃 with a temptation to smile at the
ruefulness of his appeal。
Breckon laughed for her。 〃That's the mischief and the absurdity of it。
But it isn't so bad as it seems。 They're really most of them hard…headed
people; and those that are not couldn't make a fool of a man that nature
hadn't begun with。 Still; I'm not very well satisfied with my work among
themthat is; I'm not satisfied with myself。〃 He was talking soberly
enough; and he did not find that she was listening too seriously。 〃I'm
going away to see whether I shall come back。〃 He looked at her to make
sure that she had taken his meaning; and seemed satisfied that she had。
〃I'm not sure that I'm fit for any sort of ministry; and I may find the
winter in England trying to find out。 I was at school in England; you
know。〃
Ellen confessed that she had not known that。
〃Yes; I suppose that's what made me seem 'so Englishy' the first day to
Miss Lottie; as she called it。 But I'm straight enough American as far
as parentage goes。 Do you think you will be in England…later?〃
〃I don't know。 If poppa gets too homesick we will go back in the fall。〃
〃Miss Kenton;〃 said the young man; abruptly; 〃will you let me tell you
how much I admire and revere your father?〃
Tears came into her eyes and her throat swelled。 〃But you don't know;〃
she begun; and then she stopped。
〃I have been wanting to submit something to his judgment; but I've been
afraid。 I might seem to be fishing for his favor。〃
〃Poppa wouldn't think anything that was unjust;〃 said Ellen; gravely。
〃Ah;〃 Breckon laughed; 〃I suspect that I should rather have him unjust。
I wish you'd tell me what he would think。〃
〃But I don't know what it is;〃 she protested; with a reflected smile。
〃I was in hopes Miss Rasmith might have told you。 Well; it is simply
this; and you will see that I'm not quite the universal favorite she's
been making you fancy me。 There is a rift in my lute; a schism in my
little society; which is so little that I could not have supposed there
was enough of it to break in two。 There are some who think their
lecturerfor that's what I amount toought to be an older; if not a
graver man。 They are in the minority; but they're in the right; I'm
afraid; and that's why I happen to be here telling you all this。 It's
a question of whether I ought to go back to New York or stay in London;
where there's been a faint call for me。〃 He saw the girl listening
devoutly; with that flattered look which a serious girl cannot keep out
of her face when a man confides a serious matter to her。 〃I might safely
promise to be older; but could I keep my word if I promised to be gra
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