the kentons-第6部分

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get　it　again。　　I　shall　die　if　I　stay　here；　momma。　　We　have　got　to　go。　
Can't　you　understand　that？〃

Mrs。　Kenton　did　not　know　what　to　answer。　　She　had　a　strong　superficial
desire　to　shake　her　daughter　as　a　naughty　child　which　has　vexed　its
mother；　but　under　this　was　a　stir　stronger　pity　for　her　as　a　woman；　which
easily；　prevailed。　　〃Why；　but；　Ellen　dear！　　We　thought　from　what　you　said
last　night〃

〃But　couldn't　you　SEE；〃　the　girl　reproached　her；　and　she　began　to　cry；
and　turned　her　face　into　the　pillow　again　and　lay　sobbing。

〃Well；〃　said　her　mother；　after　she　had　given　her　a　little　time；　〃you
needn't　be　troubled。　　Your　father　can　easily　get　the　ticket　again；　he　can
telephone　down　for　it。　　Nothing　has　been　done　yet。　　But　didn't　you　really
want　to　stay；　then？〃

〃It　isn't　whether　I　want　to　stay　or　not；〃　Ellen　spoke　into　her　pillow。　
〃You　know　that。　　You　know　that　I　have　got　to　go。　　You　know　that　if　I　saw
himOh；　why　do　you　make　me　talk？〃

〃Yes；　I　understand；　child。〃　　Then；　in　the　imperious　necessity　of　blaming
some　one；　Mrs。　Kenton　added：　〃You　know　how　it　is　with　your　father。　　He　is
always　so　precipitate；　and　when　he　heard　what　you　said；　last　night；　it
cut　him　to　the　heart。　　He　felt　as　if　he　were　dragging　you　away；　and　this
morning　he　could　hardly　wait　to　get　through　his　breakfast　before　he
rushed　down　to　the　steamship　office。　　But　now　it's　all　right　again；　and
if　you　want　to　go；　we'll　go；　and　your　father　will　only　be　too　glad。〃

〃I　don't　want　father　to　go　against　his　will。　　You　said　he　never　wanted　to
go　to　Europe。〃　　The　girl　had　turned　her　face　upon　her　mother　again；　and
fixed　her　with　her　tearful；　accusing　eyes。

〃The　doctors　say　he　ought　to　go。　　He　needs　the　change；　and　I　think　we
should　all　be　the　better　far　getting　away。〃

〃I　shall　not；〃　said　Ellen。　　〃But　if　I　don't〃

〃Yes；〃　said　her　mother；　soothingly。

〃You　know　that　nothing　has　changed。　　He　hasn't　changed　and　I　haven't。　　If
he　was　bad；　he's　as　bad　as　ever；　and　I'm　just　as　silly。　　Oh；　it's　like　a
drunkard！　　I　suppose　they　know　it's　killing　them；　but　they　can't　give　it
up！　　Don't　you　think　it's　very　strange；　momma？　　I　don't　see　why　I　should
be　so。　　It　seems　as　if　I　had　no　character　at　all；　and　I　despise　myself
so！　　Do　you　believe　I　shall　ever　get　over　it？　　Sometimes　I　think　the　best
thing　for　me　would　be　to　go　into　an　asylum。〃

〃Oh　yes；　dear；　you'll　get　over　it；　and　forget　it　all。　　As　soon　as　you　see
othersother　scenesand　get　interested〃

〃And　you　don't　you　don't　think　I'd　better　let　him　come；　and〃

〃Ellen！〃

Ellen　began　to　sob　again；　and　toss　her　head　upon　the　pillow。　　〃What　shall
I　do？　　What　shall　I　do？〃　she　wailed。　　〃He　hasn't　ever　done　anything　bad
to　me；　and　if　I　can　overlook　hishis　flirtingwith　that　horrid　thing；
I　don't　know　what　the　rest　of　you　have　got　to　say。　　And　he　says　he　can
explain　everything。　　Why　shouldn't　I　give　him　the　chance；　momma？　　I　do
think　it　is　acting　very　cruel　not　to　let　him　even　say　a　word。〃

〃You　can　see　him　if　you　wish；　Ellen；〃　said　her　mother；　gravely。　　〃Your
father　and　I　have　always　said　that。　　And　perhaps　it　would　be　the　best
thing；　after　all。〃

〃Oh；　you　say　that　because　you　think　that　if　I　did　see　him；　I　should　be　so
disgusted　with　him　that　I'd　never　want　to　speak　to　him　again。　　But　what
if　I　shouldn't？〃

〃Then　we　should　wish　you　to　do　whatever　you　thought　was　for　your
happiness；　Ellen。　　We　can't　believe　it　would　be　for　your　good；　but　if　it
would　be　for　your　happiness；　we　are　willing。　　Or；　if　you　don't　think　it's
for　your　happiness；　but　only　for　his；　and　you　wish　to　do　it；　still　we
shall　be　willing；　and　you　know　that　as　far　as　your　father　and　I　are
concerned；　there　will　never　be　a　word　of　reproachnot　a　whisper。〃

〃Lottie　would　despise　me；　and　what　would　Richard　say？〃

〃Richard　would　never　say　anything　to　wound　you；　dear；　and　if　you　don't
despise　yourself；　you　needn't　mind　Lottie。〃

〃But　I　should；　momma；　that's　the　worst　of　it！　　I　should　despise　myself；
and　he　would　despise　me　too。　　No；　if　I　see　him；　I　am　going　to　do　it
because　I　am　selfish　and　wicked；　and　wish　to　have　my　own　way；　no　matter
who　is　harmed　by　it；　oranything；　and　I'm　not　going　to　have　it　put　on
any　other　ground。　　I　could　see　him；〃　she　said；　as　if　to　herself；　〃just
once　moreonly　once　moreand　then　if　I　didn't　believe　in　him；　I　could
start　right　off　to　Europe。〃

Her　mother　made　no　answer　to　this；　and　Ellen　lay　awhile　apparently
forgetful　of　her　presence；　inwardly　dramatizing　a　passionate　scene　of
dismissal　between　herself　and　her　false　lover。　　She　roused　herself　from
the　reverie　with　a　long　sigh；　and　her　mother　said；　〃Won't　you　have　some
breakfast；　now；　Ellen？〃

〃Yes；　and　I　will　get　up。　　You　needn't　be　troubled　any　more　about　me；
momma。　　I　will　write　to　him　not　to　come；　and　poppa　must　go　back　and　get
his　ticket　again。〃

〃Not　unless　you　are　doing　this　of　your　own　free　will；　child。　　I　can't
have　you　feeling　that　we　are　putting　any　pressure　upon　you。〃

〃You're　not。　　I'm　doing　it　of　my　own　will。　　If　it　isn't　my　free　will；
that　isn't　your　fault。　　I　wonder　whose　fault　it　is？　　Mine；　or　what　made
me　so　silly　and　weak？〃

〃You　are　not　silly　and　weak；〃　said　her　mother；　fondly；　and　she　bent　over
the　girl　and　would　have　kissed　her；　but　Ellen　averted　her　face　with　a
piteous　〃Don't！〃　and　Mrs。　Kenton　went　out　and　ordered　her　breakfast
brought　back。

She　did　not　go　in　to　make　her　eat　it；　as　she　would　have　done　in　the
beginning　of　the　girl's　trouble；　they　had　all　learned　how　much　better　she
was　for　being　left　to　fight　her　battles　with　herself　singlehanded。
Mrs。　Kenton　waited　in　the　parlor　till　her　husband　same　in；　looking　gloomy
and　tired。　　He　put　his　hat　down　and　sank　into　a　chair　without　speaking。　
〃Well？〃　　she　said。

〃We　have　got　to　lose　the　price　of　the　ticket；　if　we　give　it　back。　　I
thought　I　had　better　talk　with　you　first；〃　said　Kenton；　and　he　explained
the　situation。

〃Then　you　had　better　simply　have　it　put　off　till　the　next　steamer。
I　have　been　talking　with　Ellen；　and　she　doesn't　want　to　stay。　　She　wants
to　go。〃　　His　wife　took　advantage　of　Kenton's　mute　amaze　（in　the　nervous
vagaries　even　of　the　women　nearest　him　a　man　learns　nothing　from
experience）　to　put　her　own　interpretation　on　the　case；　which；　as　it　was
creditable　to　the　girl's　sense　and　principle；　he　found　acceptable　if　not
imaginable。　　〃And　if　you　will　take　my　advice；〃　she　ended；　〃you　will　go
quietly　back　to　the　steamship　office　and　exchange　your　ticket　for　the
next　steamer；　or　the　one　after　that；　if　you　can't　get　good　rooms；　and
give　Ellen　time　to　get　over　this　before　she　leaves。　　It　will　be　much
better　for　her　to　conquer　herself　than　to　run　away；　for　that　would　always
give　her　a　feeling　of　shame；　and　if　she　decides　before　she　goes；　it　will
strengthen　her　pride　and　self…respect；　and　there　will　be　less　danger
when　we　come　back。〃

〃Do　you　think　he's　going　to　keep　after　her！〃

〃How　can　I　tell？　　He　will　if　he　thinks　it's　to　his　interest；　or　he　can
make　anybody　miserable　by　it。〃

Kenton　said　nothing　to　this；　but　after　a　while　he　suggested；　rather
timorously；　as　if　it　were　something　he　could　not　expect　her　to　approve；
and　was　himself　half　ashamed　of；　〃I　believe　if　I　do　put　it　off；　I'll　run
out　to　Tuskingum　before　we　sail；　and　look　after　a　little　matter　of
business　that　I　don't　think　Dick　can　attend　to　so　well。〃

His　wife　knew　why　he　wanted　to　go；　and　in　her　own　mind　she　had　already
decided　that　if　he　should　ever　propose　to　go；　she　should　not　gainsay　him。　
She　had；　in　fact；　been　rather　surprised　that　he　had　not　proposed　it
before　this；　and　now　she　assented；　without　taxing　him　with　his　real
motive；　and　bringing　him　to　open　disgrace　before　her。　　She　even　went
further　in　saying：　〃Very　well；　then　you　had　better　go。　　I　can　get　on　very
well　here；　and　I　think　it　will　leave　Ellen　freer　to　act　for　herself　if
you　are　away。　　And　there　are　some　things　in　the　house　that　I　want；　and
that　Richard　would　be　sure　to　send　his　wife　to　get　if　I　asked　him；　and　I
won't　have　her　rummaging　around　in　my　closets。　　I　suppose　you　will　want
to　go　into　the　house？〃

〃I　suppose　so；〃　said　Renton；　who　had　not　let　a　day　pass；　since　he　left
his　house；　without　spending　half　his　homesick　time　in　it。　　His　wife
suffered　his　affected　indifference　to　go　without　exposure；　and　trumped　up
a　commission　for　him；　which　would　take　him　intimately　into　the　house。




IV

The　piety　of　his　son　Richard　had　maintained　the　place　at　Tuskingum　in
perfect　order　outwardly；　and　Kenton's　heart　ached　with　tender　pain　as　he
passed　up　the　neatly　kept　walk　from　the　gate；　between　the　blooming　ranks
of　syringas　and　snowballs；　to　his　door；　and　witnessed　the　faithful　care
that　Richard's　hired　man　had　bestowed　upon　every　detail。　　The　grass
between　the　banks　of　roses　and　rhododendrons　had　been　as　scrupulously
lawn…mowered　and　as　sedulously　garden…hosed　as　if　Kenton　himself　had　been
there　to　look　after　its　welfare；　or　had　tended　the　shrubbery　as　he　used
to　do　in　earlier　days　with　his　own　hand。　　The　oaks　which　he　had　planted
shook　out　their　glossy　green　in　the　morning　gale；　and　in　the　tulip…trees；
which　had　snowed　their　petals　on　the　ground　in　wide　circles　defined　by
the　reach　of　their　branches；　he　heard　the　squirrels　barking；　a　red…bird
from