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the kentons-第6部分
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get it again。 I shall die if I stay here; momma。 We have got to go。
Can't you understand that?〃
Mrs。 Kenton did not know what to answer。 She had a strong superficial
desire to shake her daughter as a naughty child which has vexed its
mother; but under this was a stir stronger pity for her as a woman; which
easily; prevailed。 〃Why; but; Ellen dear! We thought from what you said
last night〃
〃But couldn't you SEE;〃 the girl reproached her; and she began to cry;
and turned her face into the pillow again and lay sobbing。
〃Well;〃 said her mother; after she had given her a little time; 〃you
needn't be troubled。 Your father can easily get the ticket again; he can
telephone down for it。 Nothing has been done yet。 But didn't you really
want to stay; then?〃
〃It isn't whether I want to stay or not;〃 Ellen spoke into her pillow。
〃You know that。 You know that I have got to go。 You know that if I saw
himOh; why do you make me talk?〃
〃Yes; I understand; child。〃 Then; in the imperious necessity of blaming
some one; Mrs。 Kenton added: 〃You know how it is with your father。 He is
always so precipitate; and when he heard what you said; last night; it
cut him to the heart。 He felt as if he were dragging you away; and this
morning he could hardly wait to get through his breakfast before he
rushed down to the steamship office。 But now it's all right again; and
if you want to go; we'll go; and your father will only be too glad。〃
〃I don't want father to go against his will。 You said he never wanted to
go to Europe。〃 The girl had turned her face upon her mother again; and
fixed her with her tearful; accusing eyes。
〃The doctors say he ought to go。 He needs the change; and I think we
should all be the better far getting away。〃
〃I shall not;〃 said Ellen。 〃But if I don't〃
〃Yes;〃 said her mother; soothingly。
〃You know that nothing has changed。 He hasn't changed and I haven't。 If
he was bad; he's as bad as ever; and I'm just as silly。 Oh; it's like a
drunkard! I suppose they know it's killing them; but they can't give it
up! Don't you think it's very strange; momma? I don't see why I should
be so。 It seems as if I had no character at all; and I despise myself
so! Do you believe I shall ever get over it? Sometimes I think the best
thing for me would be to go into an asylum。〃
〃Oh yes; dear; you'll get over it; and forget it all。 As soon as you see
othersother scenesand get interested〃
〃And you don't you don't think I'd better let him come; and〃
〃Ellen!〃
Ellen began to sob again; and toss her head upon the pillow。 〃What shall
I do? What shall I do?〃 she wailed。 〃He hasn't ever done anything bad
to me; and if I can overlook hishis flirtingwith that horrid thing;
I don't know what the rest of you have got to say。 And he says he can
explain everything。 Why shouldn't I give him the chance; momma? I do
think it is acting very cruel not to let him even say a word。〃
〃You can see him if you wish; Ellen;〃 said her mother; gravely。 〃Your
father and I have always said that。 And perhaps it would be the best
thing; after all。〃
〃Oh; you say that because you think that if I did see him; I should be so
disgusted with him that I'd never want to speak to him again。 But what
if I shouldn't?〃
〃Then we should wish you to do whatever you thought was for your
happiness; Ellen。 We can't believe it would be for your good; but if it
would be for your happiness; we are willing。 Or; if you don't think it's
for your happiness; but only for his; and you wish to do it; still we
shall be willing; and you know that as far as your father and I are
concerned; there will never be a word of reproachnot a whisper。〃
〃Lottie would despise me; and what would Richard say?〃
〃Richard would never say anything to wound you; dear; and if you don't
despise yourself; you needn't mind Lottie。〃
〃But I should; momma; that's the worst of it! I should despise myself;
and he would despise me too。 No; if I see him; I am going to do it
because I am selfish and wicked; and wish to have my own way; no matter
who is harmed by it; oranything; and I'm not going to have it put on
any other ground。 I could see him;〃 she said; as if to herself; 〃just
once moreonly once moreand then if I didn't believe in him; I could
start right off to Europe。〃
Her mother made no answer to this; and Ellen lay awhile apparently
forgetful of her presence; inwardly dramatizing a passionate scene of
dismissal between herself and her false lover。 She roused herself from
the reverie with a long sigh; and her mother said; 〃Won't you have some
breakfast; now; Ellen?〃
〃Yes; and I will get up。 You needn't be troubled any more about me;
momma。 I will write to him not to come; and poppa must go back and get
his ticket again。〃
〃Not unless you are doing this of your own free will; child。 I can't
have you feeling that we are putting any pressure upon you。〃
〃You're not。 I'm doing it of my own will。 If it isn't my free will;
that isn't your fault。 I wonder whose fault it is? Mine; or what made
me so silly and weak?〃
〃You are not silly and weak;〃 said her mother; fondly; and she bent over
the girl and would have kissed her; but Ellen averted her face with a
piteous 〃Don't!〃 and Mrs。 Kenton went out and ordered her breakfast
brought back。
She did not go in to make her eat it; as she would have done in the
beginning of the girl's trouble; they had all learned how much better she
was for being left to fight her battles with herself singlehanded。
Mrs。 Kenton waited in the parlor till her husband same in; looking gloomy
and tired。 He put his hat down and sank into a chair without speaking。
〃Well?〃 she said。
〃We have got to lose the price of the ticket; if we give it back。 I
thought I had better talk with you first;〃 said Kenton; and he explained
the situation。
〃Then you had better simply have it put off till the next steamer。
I have been talking with Ellen; and she doesn't want to stay。 She wants
to go。〃 His wife took advantage of Kenton's mute amaze (in the nervous
vagaries even of the women nearest him a man learns nothing from
experience) to put her own interpretation on the case; which; as it was
creditable to the girl's sense and principle; he found acceptable if not
imaginable。 〃And if you will take my advice;〃 she ended; 〃you will go
quietly back to the steamship office and exchange your ticket for the
next steamer; or the one after that; if you can't get good rooms; and
give Ellen time to get over this before she leaves。 It will be much
better for her to conquer herself than to run away; for that would always
give her a feeling of shame; and if she decides before she goes; it will
strengthen her pride and self…respect; and there will be less danger
when we come back。〃
〃Do you think he's going to keep after her!〃
〃How can I tell? He will if he thinks it's to his interest; or he can
make anybody miserable by it。〃
Kenton said nothing to this; but after a while he suggested; rather
timorously; as if it were something he could not expect her to approve;
and was himself half ashamed of; 〃I believe if I do put it off; I'll run
out to Tuskingum before we sail; and look after a little matter of
business that I don't think Dick can attend to so well。〃
His wife knew why he wanted to go; and in her own mind she had already
decided that if he should ever propose to go; she should not gainsay him。
She had; in fact; been rather surprised that he had not proposed it
before this; and now she assented; without taxing him with his real
motive; and bringing him to open disgrace before her。 She even went
further in saying: 〃Very well; then you had better go。 I can get on very
well here; and I think it will leave Ellen freer to act for herself if
you are away。 And there are some things in the house that I want; and
that Richard would be sure to send his wife to get if I asked him; and I
won't have her rummaging around in my closets。 I suppose you will want
to go into the house?〃
〃I suppose so;〃 said Renton; who had not let a day pass; since he left
his house; without spending half his homesick time in it。 His wife
suffered his affected indifference to go without exposure; and trumped up
a commission for him; which would take him intimately into the house。
IV
The piety of his son Richard had maintained the place at Tuskingum in
perfect order outwardly; and Kenton's heart ached with tender pain as he
passed up the neatly kept walk from the gate; between the blooming ranks
of syringas and snowballs; to his door; and witnessed the faithful care
that Richard's hired man had bestowed upon every detail。 The grass
between the banks of roses and rhododendrons had been as scrupulously
lawn…mowered and as sedulously garden…hosed as if Kenton himself had been
there to look after its welfare; or had tended the shrubbery as he used
to do in earlier days with his own hand。 The oaks which he had planted
shook out their glossy green in the morning gale; and in the tulip…trees;
which had snowed their petals on the ground in wide circles defined by
the reach of their branches; he heard the squirrels barking; a red…bird
from
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