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the mirror of the sea-第12部分
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Of course; he meant the chief mate to keep quiet … to lay up; as a
matter of fact。 His manner was impressive enough; if his English
was childishly imperfect when compared with the fluency of Mr。
Hudig; the figure at the other end of that passage; and memorable
enough in its way。 In a great airy ward of a Far Eastern hospital;
lying on my back; I had plenty of leisure to remember the dreadful
cold and snow of Amsterdam; while looking at the fronds of the
palm…trees tossing and rustling at the height of the window。 I
could remember the elated feeling and the soul…gripping cold of
those tramway journeys taken into town to put what in diplomatic
language is called pressure upon the good Hudig; with his warm
fire; his armchair; his big cigar; and the never…failing suggestion
in his good…natured voice: 〃I suppose in the end it is you they
will appoint captain before the ship sails?〃 It may have been his
extreme good…nature; the serious; unsmiling good…nature of a fat;
swarthy man with coal…black moustache and steady eyes; but he might
have been a bit of a diplomatist; too。 His enticing suggestions I
used to repel modestly by the assurance that it was extremely
unlikely; as I had not enough experience。 〃You know very well how
to go about business matters;〃 he used to say; with a sort of
affected moodiness clouding his serene round face。 I wonder
whether he ever laughed to himself after I had left the office。 I
dare say he never did; because I understand that diplomatists; in
and out of the career; take themselves and their tricks with an
exemplary seriousness。
But he had nearly persuaded me that I was fit in every way to be
trusted with a command。 There came three months of mental worry;
hard rolling; remorse; and physical pain to drive home the lesson
of insufficient experience。
Yes; your ship wants to be humoured with knowledge。 You must treat
with an understanding consideration the mysteries of her feminine
nature; and then she will stand by you faithfully in the unceasing
struggle with forces wherein defeat is no shame。 It is a serious
relation; that in which a man stands to his ship。 She has her
rights as though she could breathe and speak; and; indeed; there
are ships that; for the right man; will do anything but speak; as
the saying goes。
A ship is not a slave。 You must make her easy in a seaway; you
must never forget that you owe her the fullest share of your
thought; of your skill; of your self…love。 If you remember that
obligation; naturally and without effort; as if it were an
instinctive feeling of your inner life; she will sail; stay; run
for you as long as she is able; or; like a sea…bird going to rest
upon the angry waves; she will lay out the heaviest gale that ever
made you doubt living long enough to see another sunrise。
XVI。
Often I turn with melancholy eagerness to the space reserved in the
newspapers under the general heading of 〃Shipping Intelligence。〃 I
meet there the names of ships I have known。 Every year some of
these names disappear … the names of old friends。 〃Tempi passati!〃
The different divisions of that kind of news are set down in their
order; which varies but slightly in its arrangement of concise
headlines。 And first comes 〃Speakings〃 … reports of ships met and
signalled at sea; name; port; where from; where bound for; so many
days out; ending frequently with the words 〃All well。〃 Then come
〃Wrecks and Casualties〃 … a longish array of paragraphs; unless the
weather has been fair and clear; and friendly to ships all over the
world。
On some days there appears the heading 〃Overdue〃 … an ominous
threat of loss and sorrow trembling yet in the balance of fate。
There is something sinister to a seaman in the very grouping of the
letters which form this word; clear in its meaning; and seldom
threatening in vain。
Only a very few days more … appallingly few to the hearts which had
set themselves bravely to hope against hope … three weeks; a month
later; perhaps; the name of ships under the blight of the 〃Overdue〃
heading shall appear again in the column of 〃Shipping
Intelligence;〃 but under the final declaration of 〃Missing。〃
〃The ship; or barque; or brig So…and…so; bound from such a port;
with such and such cargo; for such another port; having left at
such and such a date; last spoken at sea on such a day; and never
having been heard of since; was posted to…day as missing。〃 Such in
its strictly official eloquence is the form of funeral orations on
ships that; perhaps wearied with a long struggle; or in some
unguarded moment that may come to the readiest of us; had let
themselves be overwhelmed by a sudden blow from the enemy。
Who can say? Perhaps the men she carried had asked her to do too
much; had stretched beyond breaking…point the enduring faithfulness
which seems wrought and hammered into that assemblage of iron ribs
and plating; of wood and steel and canvas and wire; which goes to
the making of a ship … a complete creation endowed with character;
individuality; qualities and defects; by men whose hands launch her
upon the water; and that other men shall learn to know with an
intimacy surpassing the intimacy of man with man; to love with a
love nearly as great as that of man for woman; and often as blind
in its infatuated disregard of defects。
There are ships which bear a bad name; but I have yet to meet one
whose crew for the time being failed to stand up angrily for her
against every criticism。 One ship which I call to mind now had the
reputation of killing somebody every voyage she made。 This was no
calumny; and yet I remember well; somewhere far back in the late
seventies; that the crew of that ship were; if anything; rather
proud of her evil fame; as if they had been an utterly corrupt lot
of desperadoes glorying in their association with an atrocious
creature。 We; belonging to other vessels moored all about the
Circular Quay in Sydney; used to shake our heads at her with a
great sense of the unblemished virtue of our own well…loved ships。
I shall not pronounce her name。 She is 〃missing〃 now; after a
sinister but; from the point of view of her owners; a useful career
extending over many years; and; I should say; across every ocean of
our globe。 Having killed a man for every voyage; and perhaps
rendered more misanthropic by the infirmities that come with years
upon a ship; she had made up her mind to kill all hands at once
before leaving the scene of her exploits。 A fitting end; this; to
a life of usefulness and crime … in a last outburst of an evil
passion supremely satisfied on some wild night; perhaps; to the
applauding clamour of wind and wave。
How did she do it? In the word 〃missing〃 there is a horrible depth
of doubt and speculation。 Did she go quickly from under the men's
feet; or did she resist to the end; letting the sea batter her to
pieces; start her butts; wrench her frame; load her with an
increasing weight of salt water; and; dismasted; unmanageable;
rolling heavily; her boats gone; her decks swept; had she wearied
her men half to death with the unceasing labour at the pumps before
she sank with them like a stone?
However; such a case must be rare。 I imagine a raft of some sort
could always be contrived; and; even if it saved no one; it would
float on and be picked up; perhaps conveying some hint of the
vanished name。 Then that ship would not be; properly speaking;
missing。 She would be 〃lost with all hands;〃 and in that
distinction there is a subtle difference … less horror and a less
appalling darkness。
XVII。
The unholy fascination of dread dwells in the thought of the last
moments of a ship reported as 〃missing〃 in the columns of the
SHIPPING GAZETTE。 Nothing of her ever comes to light … no grating;
no lifebuoy; no piece of boat or branded oar … to give a hint of
the place and date of her sudden end。 The SHIPPING GAZETTE does
not even call her 〃lost with all hands。〃 She remains simply
〃missing〃; she has disappeared enigmatically into a mystery of fate
as big as the world; where your imagination of a brother…sailor; of
a fellow…servant and lover of ships; may range unchecked。
And yet sometimes one gets a hint of what the last scene may be
like in the life of a ship and her crew; which resembles a drama in
its struggle against a great force bearing it up; formless;
ungraspable; chaotic and mysterious; as fate。
It was on a gray afternoon in the lull of a three days' gale that
had left the Southern Ocean tumbling heavily upon our shi
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