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the mirror of the sea-第12部分

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Of course; he meant the chief mate to keep quiet … to lay up; as a



matter of fact。  His manner was impressive enough; if his English



was childishly imperfect when compared with the fluency of Mr。



Hudig; the figure at the other end of that passage; and memorable



enough in its way。  In a great airy ward of a Far Eastern hospital;



lying on my back; I had plenty of leisure to remember the dreadful



cold and snow of Amsterdam; while looking at the fronds of the



palm…trees tossing and rustling at the height of the window。  I



could remember the elated feeling and the soul…gripping cold of



those tramway journeys taken into town to put what in diplomatic



language is called pressure upon the good Hudig; with his warm



fire; his armchair; his big cigar; and the never…failing suggestion



in his good…natured voice:  〃I suppose in the end it is you they



will appoint captain before the ship sails?〃  It may have been his



extreme good…nature; the serious; unsmiling good…nature of a fat;



swarthy man with coal…black moustache and steady eyes; but he might



have been a bit of a diplomatist; too。  His enticing suggestions I



used to repel modestly by the assurance that it was extremely



unlikely; as I had not enough experience。  〃You know very well how



to go about business matters;〃 he used to say; with a sort of



affected moodiness clouding his serene round face。  I wonder



whether he ever laughed to himself after I had left the office。  I



dare say he never did; because I understand that diplomatists; in



and out of the career; take themselves and their tricks with an



exemplary seriousness。







But he had nearly persuaded me that I was fit in every way to be



trusted with a command。  There came three months of mental worry;



hard rolling; remorse; and physical pain to drive home the lesson



of insufficient experience。







Yes; your ship wants to be humoured with knowledge。  You must treat



with an understanding consideration the mysteries of her feminine



nature; and then she will stand by you faithfully in the unceasing



struggle with forces wherein defeat is no shame。  It is a serious



relation; that in which a man stands to his ship。  She has her



rights as though she could breathe and speak; and; indeed; there



are ships that; for the right man; will do anything but speak; as



the saying goes。







A ship is not a slave。  You must make her easy in a seaway; you



must never forget that you owe her the fullest share of your



thought; of your skill; of your self…love。  If you remember that



obligation; naturally and without effort; as if it were an



instinctive feeling of your inner life; she will sail; stay; run



for you as long as she is able; or; like a sea…bird going to rest



upon the angry waves; she will lay out the heaviest gale that ever



made you doubt living long enough to see another sunrise。















XVI。















Often I turn with melancholy eagerness to the space reserved in the



newspapers under the general heading of 〃Shipping Intelligence。〃  I



meet there the names of ships I have known。  Every year some of



these names disappear … the names of old friends。  〃Tempi passati!〃







The different divisions of that kind of news are set down in their



order; which varies but slightly in its arrangement of concise



headlines。  And first comes 〃Speakings〃 … reports of ships met and



signalled at sea; name; port; where from; where bound for; so many



days out; ending frequently with the words 〃All well。〃  Then come



〃Wrecks and Casualties〃 … a longish array of paragraphs; unless the



weather has been fair and clear; and friendly to ships all over the



world。







On some days there appears the heading 〃Overdue〃 … an ominous



threat of loss and sorrow trembling yet in the balance of fate。



There is something sinister to a seaman in the very grouping of the



letters which form this word; clear in its meaning; and seldom



threatening in vain。







Only a very few days more … appallingly few to the hearts which had



set themselves bravely to hope against hope … three weeks; a month



later; perhaps; the name of ships under the blight of the 〃Overdue〃



heading shall appear again in the column of 〃Shipping



Intelligence;〃 but under the final declaration of 〃Missing。〃







〃The ship; or barque; or brig So…and…so; bound from such a port;



with such and such cargo; for such another port; having left at



such and such a date; last spoken at sea on such a day; and never



having been heard of since; was posted to…day as missing。〃  Such in



its strictly official eloquence is the form of funeral orations on



ships that; perhaps wearied with a long struggle; or in some



unguarded moment that may come to the readiest of us; had let



themselves be overwhelmed by a sudden blow from the enemy。







Who can say?  Perhaps the men she carried had asked her to do too



much; had stretched beyond breaking…point the enduring faithfulness



which seems wrought and hammered into that assemblage of iron ribs



and plating; of wood and steel and canvas and wire; which goes to



the making of a ship … a complete creation endowed with character;



individuality; qualities and defects; by men whose hands launch her



upon the water; and that other men shall learn to know with an



intimacy surpassing the intimacy of man with man; to love with a



love nearly as great as that of man for woman; and often as blind



in its infatuated disregard of defects。







There are ships which bear a bad name; but I have yet to meet one



whose crew for the time being failed to stand up angrily for her



against every criticism。  One ship which I call to mind now had the



reputation of killing somebody every voyage she made。  This was no



calumny; and yet I remember well; somewhere far back in the late



seventies; that the crew of that ship were; if anything; rather



proud of her evil fame; as if they had been an utterly corrupt lot



of desperadoes glorying in their association with an atrocious



creature。  We; belonging to other vessels moored all about the



Circular Quay in Sydney; used to shake our heads at her with a



great sense of the unblemished virtue of our own well…loved ships。







I shall not pronounce her name。  She is 〃missing〃 now; after a



sinister but; from the point of view of her owners; a useful career



extending over many years; and; I should say; across every ocean of



our globe。  Having killed a man for every voyage; and perhaps



rendered more misanthropic by the infirmities that come with years



upon a ship; she had made up her mind to kill all hands at once



before leaving the scene of her exploits。  A fitting end; this; to



a life of usefulness and crime … in a last outburst of an evil



passion supremely satisfied on some wild night; perhaps; to the



applauding clamour of wind and wave。







How did she do it?  In the word 〃missing〃 there is a horrible depth



of doubt and speculation。  Did she go quickly from under the men's



feet; or did she resist to the end; letting the sea batter her to



pieces; start her butts; wrench her frame; load her with an



increasing weight of salt water; and; dismasted; unmanageable;



rolling heavily; her boats gone; her decks swept; had she wearied



her men half to death with the unceasing labour at the pumps before



she sank with them like a stone?







However; such a case must be rare。  I imagine a raft of some sort



could always be contrived; and; even if it saved no one; it would



float on and be picked up; perhaps conveying some hint of the



vanished name。  Then that ship would not be; properly speaking;



missing。  She would be 〃lost with all hands;〃 and in that



distinction there is a subtle difference … less horror and a less



appalling darkness。















XVII。















The unholy fascination of dread dwells in the thought of the last



moments of a ship reported as 〃missing〃 in the columns of the



SHIPPING GAZETTE。  Nothing of her ever comes to light … no grating;



no lifebuoy; no piece of boat or branded oar … to give a hint of



the place and date of her sudden end。  The SHIPPING GAZETTE does



not even call her 〃lost with all hands。〃  She remains simply



〃missing〃; she has disappeared enigmatically into a mystery of fate



as big as the world; where your imagination of a brother…sailor; of



a fellow…servant and lover of ships; may range unchecked。







And yet sometimes one gets a hint of what the last scene may be



like in the life of a ship and her crew; which resembles a drama in



its struggle against a great force bearing it up; formless;



ungraspable; chaotic and mysterious; as fate。







It was on a gray afternoon in the lull of a three days' gale that



had left the Southern Ocean tumbling heavily upon our shi
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