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st. ives-第51部分

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what I paid for it。'



'Well; I don't know;' he said。  'You want some paper of 

identification。'



'To identify the chaise?' I inquired。



'Not at all: to identify YOU;' said he。



'My good sir; remember yourself!' said I。  'The title…deeds of my 

estate are in that despatch…box; but you do not seriously suppose 

that I should allow you to examine them?'



'Well; you see; this paper proves that some Mr。 Ramornie paid 

seventy guineas for a chaise;' said the fellow。  'That's all well 

and good; but who's to prove to me that you are Mr。 Ramornie?'



'Fellow!' cried I。



'O; fellow as much as you please!' said he。  'Fellow; with all my 

heart!  That changes nothing。  I am fellow; of course … obtrusive 

fellow; impudent fellow; if you like … but who are you?  I hear of 

you with two names; I hear of you running away with young ladies; 

and getting cheered for a Frenchman; which seems odd; and one thing 

I will go bail for; that you were in a blue fright when the post…

boy began to tell tales at my door。  In short; sir; you may be a 

very good gentleman; but I don't know enough about you; and I'll 

trouble you for your papers; or to go before a magistrate。  Take 

your choice; if I'm not fine enough; I hope the magistrates are。'



'My good man;' I stammered; for though I had found my voice; I 

could scarce be said to have recovered my wits; 'this is most 

unusual; most rude。  Is it the custom in Westmorland that gentlemen 

should be insulted?'



'That depends;' said he。  'When it's suspected that gentlemen are 

spies it IS the custom; and a good custom; too。  No no;' he broke 

out; perceiving me to make a movement。  'Both hands upon the table; 

my gentleman!  I want no pistol balls in my chaise panels。'



'Surely; sir; you do me strange injustice!' said I; now the master 

of myself。  'You see me sitting here; a monument of tranquillity: 

pray may I help myself to wine without umbraging you?'



I took this attitude in sheer despair。  I had no plan; no hope。  

The best I could imagine was to spin the business out some minutes 

longer; then capitulate。  At least; I would not capituatle one 

moment too soon。



'Am I to take that for NO?' he asked。



'Referring to your former obliging proposal?' said I。  'My good 

sir; you are to take it; as you say; for 〃No。〃  Certainly I will 

not show you my deeds; certainly I will not rise from table and 

trundle out to see your magistrates。  I have too much respect for 

my digestion; and too little curiosity in justices of the peace。'



He leaned forward; looked me nearly in the face; and reached out 

one hand to the bell…rope。  'See here; my fine fellow!' said he。  

'Do you see that bell…rope?  Let me tell you; there's a boy waiting 

below: one jingle; and he goes to fetch the constable。'



'Do you tell me so?' said I。  'Well; there's no accounting for 

tastes!  I have a prejudice against the society of constables; but 

if it is your fancy to have one in for the dessert … '  I shrugged 

my shoulders lightly。  'Really; you know;' I added; 'this is vastly 

entertaining。  I assure you; I am looking on; with all the interest 

of a man of the world; at the development of your highly original 

character。'



He continued to study my face without speech; his hand still on the 

button of the bell…rope; his eyes in mine; this was the decisive 

heat。  My face seemed to myself to dislimn under his gaze; my 

expression to change; the smile (with which I had began) to 

degenerate into the grin of the man upon the rack。  I was besides 

harassed with doubts。  An innocent man; I argued; would have 

resented the fellow's impudence an hour ago; and by my continued 

endurance of the ordeal; I was simply signing and sealing my 

confession; in short; I had reached the end of my powers。



'Have you any objection to my putting my hands in my breeches 

pockets?' I inquired。  'Excuse me mentioning it; but you showed 

yourself so extremely nervous a moment back。'  My voice was not all 

I could have wished; but it sufficed。  I could hear it tremble; but 

the landlord apparently could not。  He turned away and drew a long 

breath; and you may be sure I was quick to follow his example。



'You're a cool hand at least; and that's the sort I like;' said he。  

'Be you what you please; I'll deal square。  I'll take the chaise 

for a hundred pound down; and throw the dinner in。'



'I beg your pardon;' I cried; wholly mystified by this form of 

words。



'You pay me a hundred down;' he repeated; 'and I'll take the 

chaise。  It's very little more than it cost;' he added; with a 

grin; 'and you know you must get it off your hands somehow。'



I do not know when I have been better entertained than by this 

impudent proposal。  It was broadly funny; and I suppose the least 

tempting offer in the world。  For all that; it came very welcome; 

for it gave me the occasion to laugh。  This I did with the most 

complete abandonment; till the tears ran down my cheeks; and ever 

and again; as the fit abated; I would get another view of the 

landlord's face; and go off into another paroxysm。



'You droll creature; you will be the death of me yet!' I cried; 

drying my eyes。



My friend was now wholly disconcerted; he knew not where to look; 

nor yet what to say; and began for the first time to conceive it 

possible he was mistaken。



'You seem rather to enjoy a laugh; sir;' said he。



'O; yes!  I am quite an original;' I replied; and laughed again。



Presently; in a changed voice; he offered me twenty pounds for the 

chaise; I ran him up to twenty…five; and closed with the offer: 

indeed; I was glad to get anything; and if I haggled; it was not in 

the desire of gain; but with the view at any price of securing a 

safe retreat。  For although hostilities were suspended; he was yet 

far from satisfied; and I could read his continued suspicions in 

the cloudy eye that still hovered about my face。  At last they took 

shape in words。



'This is all very well;' says he: 'you carry it off well; but for 

all that; I must do my duty。'



I had my strong effect in reserve; it was to burn my ships with a 

vengeance!  I rose。  'Leave the room;' said I。  'This is 

insuperable。  Is the man mad?'  And then; as if already half…

ashamed of my passion: 'I can take a joke as well as any one;' I 

added; 'but this passes measure。  Send my servant and the bill。'



When he had left me alone; I considered my own valour with 

amazement。  I had insulted him; I had sent him away alone; now; if 

ever; he would take what was the only sensible resource; and fetch 

the constable。  But there was something instinctively treacherous 

about the man which shrank from plain courses。  And; with all his 

cleverness; he missed the occasion of fame。  Rowley and I were 

suffered to walk out of his door; with all our baggage; on foot; 

with no destination named; except in the vague statement that we 

were come 'to view the lakes'; and my friend only watched our 

departure with his chin in his hand; still moodily irresolute。



I think this one of my great successes。  I was exposed; unmasked; 

summoned to do a perfectly natural act; which must prove my doom 

and which I had not the slightest pretext for refusing。  I kept my 

head; stuck to my guns; and; against all likelihood; here I was 

once more at liberty and in the king's highway。  This was a strong 

lesson never to despair; and; at the same time; how many hints to 

be cautious! and what a perplexed and dubious business the whole 

question of my escape now appeared!  That I should have risked 

perishing upon a trumpery question of a POURBOIRE; depicted in 

lively colours the perils that perpetually surrounded us。  Though; 

to be sure; the initial mistake had been committed before that; and 

if I had not suffered myself to be drawn a little deep in 

confidences to the innocent Dolly; there need have been no tumble 

at the inn of Kirkby…Lonsdale。  I took the lesson to heart; and 

promised myself in the future to be more reserved。  It was none of 

my business to attend to broken chaises or shipwrecked travellers。  

I had my hands full of my own affairs; and my best defence would be 

a little more natural selfishness and a trifle less imbecile good…

nature。









CHAPTER XXV … I MEET A CHEERFUL EXTRAVAGANT





I PASS over the next fifty or sixty leagues of our journey without 

comment。  The reader must be growing weary of scenes of travel; and 

for my own part I have no cause to recall these particular miles 

with any pleasure。  We were mainly occupied with attempts to 

obliterate our trail; which (as the result showed) were far from 

successful; for; on my cousin following; he was able to run me home 

with the least possible loss of time; following the claret…coloured 

chaise to Kirkby…Lonsdale; where I think the landlord must have 

wept to learn what he had miss
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