david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第11部分

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‘I　should　like　it　very　much。　We　would　all　be　gentlefolks　
together；　then。　Me；　and　uncle；　and　Ham；　and　Mrs。　Gummidge。　We　
wouldn’t　mind　then；　when　there　comes　stormy　weather。—Not　for　
our　own　sakes；　I　mean。　We　would　for　the　poor　fishermen’s；　to　be　
sure；　and　we’d　help　’em　with　money　when　they　come　to　any　hurt。’　
This　seemed　to　me　to　be　a　very　satisfactory　and　therefore　not　at　all　
improbable　picture。　I　expressed　my　pleasure　in　the　contemplation　
of　it；　and　little　Em’ly　was　emboldened　to　say；　shyly；　

‘Don’t　you　think　you　are　afraid　of　the　sea；　now？’　

It　was　quiet　enough　to　reassure　me；　but　I　have　no　doubt　if　I　had　
seen　a　moderately　large　wave　come　tumbling　in；　I　should　have　
taken　to　my　heels；　with　an　awful　recollection　of　her　drowned　
relations。　However；　I　said　‘No；’　and　I　added；　‘You　don’t　seem　to　be　
either；　though　you　say　you　are；’—for　she　was　walking　much　too　
near　the　brink　of　a　sort　of　old　jetty　or　wooden　causeway　we　had　
strolled　upon；　and　I　was　afraid　of　her　falling　over。　

‘I’m　not　afraid　in　this　way；’　said　little　Em’ly。　‘But　I　wake　when　it　
blows；　and　tremble　to　think　of　Uncle　Dan　and　Ham　and　believe　I　
hear　’em　crying　out　for　help。　That’s　why　I　should　like　so　much　to　
be　a　lady。　But　I’m　not　afraid　in　this　way。　Not　a　bit。　Look　here！’　

She　started　from　my　side；　and　ran　along　a　jagged　timber　which　
protruded　from　the　place　we　stood　upon；　and　overhung　the　deep　

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water　at　some　height；　without　the　least　defence。　The　incident　is　so　
impressed　on　my　remembrance；　that　if　I　were　a　draughtsman　I　
could　draw　its　form　here；　I　dare　say；　accurately　as　it　was　that　day；　
and　little　Em’ly　springing　forward　to　her　destruction　（as　it　
appeared　to　me）；　with　a　look　that　I　have　never　forgotten；　directed　
far　out　to　sea。　

The　light；　bold；　fluttering　little　figure　turned　and　came　back　
safe　to　me；　and　I　soon　laughed　at　my　fears；　and　at　the　cry　I　had　
uttered；　fruitlessly　in　any　case；　for　there　was　no　one　near。　But　
there　have　been　times　since；　in　my　manhood；　many　times　there　
have　been；　when　I　have　thought；　Is　it　possible；　among　the　
possibilities　of　hidden　things；　that　in　the　sudden　rashness　of　the　
child　and　her　wild　look　so　far　off；　there　was　any　merciful　attraction　
of　her　into　danger；　any　tempting　her　towards　him　permitted　on　the　
part　of　her　dead　father；　that　her　life　might　have　a　chance　of　ending　
that　day？　There　has　been　a　time　since　when　I　have　wondered　
whether；　if　the　life　before　her　could　have　been　revealed　to　me　at　a　
glance；　and　so　revealed　as　that　a　child　could　fully　comprehend　it；　
and　if　her　preservation　could　have　depended　on　a　motion　of　my　
hand；　I　ought　to　have　held　it　up　to　save　her。　There　has　been　a　time　
since—I　do　not　say　it　lasted　long；　but　it　has　been—when　I　have　
asked　myself　the　question；　would　it　have　been　better　for　little　
Em’ly　to　have　had　the　waters　close　above　her　head　that　morning　in　
my　sight；　and　when　I　have　answered　Yes；　it　would　have　been。　

This　may　be　premature。　I　have　set　it　down　too　soon；　perhaps。　
But　let　it　stand。　

We　strolled　a　long　way；　and　loaded　ourselves　with　things　that　
we　thought　curious；　and　put　some　stranded　starfish　carefully　back　
into　the　water—I　hardly　know　enough　of　the　race　at　this　moment　

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to　be　quite　certain　whether　they　had　reason　to　feel　obliged　to　us　
for　doing　so；　or　the　reverse—and　then　made　our　way　home　to　Mr。　
Peggotty’s　dwelling。　We　stopped　under　the　lee　of　the　lobster…
outhouse　to　exchange　an　innocent　kiss；　and　went　in　to　breakfast　
glowing　with　health　and　pleasure。　

‘Like　two　young　mavishes；’　Mr。　Peggotty　said。　I　knew　this　
meant；　in　our　local　dialect；　like　two　young　thrushes；　and　received　
it　as　a　compliment。　

Of　course　I　was　in　love　with　little　Em’ly。　I　am　sure　I　loved　that　
baby　quite　as　truly；　quite　as　tenderly；　with　greater　purity　and　more　
disinterestedness；　than　can　enter　into　the　best　love　of　a　later　time　
of　life；　high　and　ennobling　as　it　is。　I　am　sure　my　fancy　raised　up　
something　round　that　blue…eyed　mite　of　a　child；　which　
etherealized；　and　made　a　very　angel　of　her。　If；　any　sunny　forenoon；　
she　had　spread　a　little　pair　of　wings　and　flown　away　before　my　
eyes；　I　don’t　think　I　should　have　regarded　it　as　much　more　than　I　
had　had　reason　to　expect。　

We　used　to　walk　about　that　dim　old　flat　at　Yarmouth　in　a　loving　
manner；　hours　and　hours。　The　days　sported　by　us；　as　if　Time　had　
not　grown　up　himself　yet；　but　were　a　child　too；　and　always　at　play。　
I　told　Em’ly　I　adored　her；　and　that　unless　she　confessed　she　
adored　me　I　should　be　reduced　to　the　necessity　of　killing　myself　
with　a　sword。　She　said　she　did；　and　I　have　no　doubt　she　did。　

As　to　any　sense　of　inequality；　or　youthfulness；　or　other　difficulty　
in　our　way；　little　Em’ly　and　I　had　no　such　trouble；　because　we　had　
no　future。　We　made　no　more　provision　for　growing　older；　than　we　
did　for　growing　younger。　We　were　the　admiration　of　Mrs。　
Gummidge　and　Peggotty；　who　used　to　whisper　of　an　evening　when　
we　sat；　lovingly；　on　our　little　locker　side　by　side；　‘Lor！　wasn’t　it　

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beautiful！’　Mr。　Peggotty　smiled　at　us　from　behind　his　pipe；　and　
Ham　grinned　all　the　evening　and　did　nothing　else。　They　had　
something　of　the　sort　of　pleasure　in　us；　I　suppose；　that　they　might　
have　had　in　a　pretty　toy；　or　a　pocket　model　of　the　Colosseum。　

I　soon　found　out　that　Mrs。　Gummidge　did　not　always　make　
herself　so　agreeable　as　she　might　have　been　expected　to　do；　under　
the　circumstances　of　her　residence　with　Mr。　Peggotty。　Mrs。　
Gummidge’s　was　rather　a　fretful　disposition；　and　she　whimpered　
more　sometimes　than　was　comfortable　for　other　parties　in　so　small　
an　establishment。　I　was　very　sorry　for　her；　but　there　were　
moments　when　it　would　have　been　more　agreeable；　I　thought；　if　
Mrs。　Gummidge　had　had　a　convenient　apartment　of　her　own　to　
retire　to；　and　had　stopped　there　until　her　spirits　revived。　

Mr。　Peggotty　went　occasionally　to　a　public…house　called　The　
Willing　Mind。　I　discovered　this；　by　his　being　out　on　the　second　or　
third　evening　of　our　visit；　and　by　Mrs。　Gummidge’s　looking　up　at　
the　Dutch　clock；　between　eight　and　nine；　and　saying　he　was　there；　
and　that；　what　was　more；　she　had　known　in　the　morning　he　would　
go　there。　

Mrs。　Gummidge　had　been　in　a　low　state　all　day；　and　had　burst　
into　tears　in　the　forenoon；　when　the　fire　smoked。　‘I　am　a　lone　lorn　
creetur’；’　were　Mrs。　Gummidge’s　words；　when　that　unpleasant　
occurrence　took　place；　‘and　everythink　goes　contrary　with　me。’　

‘Oh；　it’ll　soon　leave　off；’　said　Peggotty—I　again　mean　our　
Peggotty—‘and　besides；　you　know；　it’s　not　more　disagreeable　to　
you　than　to　us。’　

‘I　feel　it　more；’　said　Mrs。　Gummidge。　

It　was　a　very　cold　day；　with　cutting　blasts　of　wind。　Mrs。　
Gummidge’s　peculiar　corner　of　the　fireside　seemed　to　me　to　be　the　

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warmest　and　snuggest　in　the　place；　as　her　chair　was　certainly　the　
easiest；　but　it　didn’t　suit　her　that　day　at　all。　She　was　constantly　
complaining　of　the　cold；　and　of　its　occasioning　a　visitation　in　her　
back　which　she　called　‘the　creeps’。　At　last　she　shed　tears　on　that　
subject；　and　said　again　that　she　was　‘a　lone　lorn　creetur’　and　
everythink　went　contrary　with　her’。　

‘It　is　certainly　very　cold；’　said　Peggotty。　‘Everybody　must　feel　it　
so。’　

‘I　feel　it　more　than　other　people；’　said　Mrs。　Gummidge。　

So　at　dinner；　when　Mrs。　Gummidge　was　always　helped　
immediately　after　me；　to　whom　the　preference　was　given　as　a　
visitor　of　distinction。　The　fish　were　small　and　bony；　and　the　
potatoes　were　a　little　burnt。　We　all　acknowledged　that　we　felt　this　
something　of　a　disappointment；　but　Mrs。　Gummidge　said　she　felt　it　
more　than　we　did；　and　shed　tears　again；　and　made　that　former　
declaration　with　great　bitterness。　

Accordingly；　when　Mr。　Peggotty　came　home　about　nine　o’clock；　
this　unfortunate　Mrs。　Gummidge　was　knitting　in　her　corner；　in　a　
very　wretched　and　miserable　condition。　Peggotty　had　been　
working　cheerfully。　Ham　had　been　patching　up　a　great　pair　of　
waterboots；　and　I；　with　little　Em’ly　by　my　side；　had　been　reading　
to　them。　Mrs。　Gummidge　had　never　made　any　other　remark　than　a　
forlorn　sigh；　and　had　never　raised　her　eyes　since　tea。　

‘Well；　Mates；’　said　Mr。　Peggotty；　taking　his　seat；　‘and　how　are　
you？’　

We　all　said　something；　or　looked　something；　to　welcome　him；　
except　Mrs。　Gummidge；　who　only　shook　her　head　over　her　
knitting。　

‘What’s　amiss？’　said　Mr。　Peggotty；　with　a　clap　of　his　hands。　

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‘Cheer　up；　old　Mawther！’　（Mr。　Peggotty　meant　old　girl。）　

Mrs。　Gummidge　did　not　appear　to　be　able　to　cheer　up。　She　took　
out　an　old　black　silk　handkerchief　and　wiped　her　eyes；　but　instead　
of　putting　it　in　her　pocket；　kept　it　out；　and　wiped　them　again；　and　
still　kept　it　out；　ready　for　use。　

‘What’s　amiss；　dame？’　said　Mr。　Peggotty。　

‘Nothing；’　returned　Mrs。　Gummidge。　‘You’ve　come　from　The　
Willing　Mi