david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第131部分

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wanted　a　missionary。　How　d’ye　do；　Barkis？　I　hope　you’re　well？’　

Encouraged　by　these　gracious　words；　and　by　my　aunt’s　
extending　her　hand；　Barkis　came　forward；　and　took　the　hand；　and　
curtseyed　her　acknowledgements。　

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David　Copperfield　

‘We　are　older　than　we　were；　I　see；’　said　my　aunt。　‘We　have　only　
met　each　other　once　before；　you　know。　A　nice　business　we　made　
of　it　then！　Trot；　my　dear；　another　cup。’　

I　handed　it　dutifully　to　my　aunt；　who　was　in　her　usual　inflexible　
state　of　figure；　and　ventured　a　remonstrance　with　her　on　the　
subject　of　her　sitting　on　a　box。　

‘Let　me　draw　the　sofa　here；　or　the　easy…chair；　aunt；’　said　I。　
‘Why　should　you　be　so　uncomfortable？’　

‘Thank　you；　Trot；’　replied　my　aunt；　‘I　prefer　to　sit　upon　my　
property。’　Here　my　aunt　looked　hard　at　Mrs。　Crupp；　and　
observed；　‘We　needn’t　trouble　you　to　wait；　ma’am。’　

‘Shall　I　put　a　little　more　tea　in　the　pot　afore　I　go；　ma’am？’　said　
Mrs。　Crupp。　

‘No；　I　thank　you；　ma’am；’　replied　my　aunt。　

‘Would　you　let　me　fetch　another　pat　of　butter；　ma’am？’　said　
Mrs。　Crupp。　‘Or　would　you　be　persuaded　to　try　a　new…laid　hegg？　
or　should　I　brile　a　rasher？　Ain’t　there　nothing　I　could　do　for　your　
dear　aunt；　Mr。　Copperfull？’　

‘Nothing；　ma’am；’　returned　my　aunt。　‘I　shall　do　very　well；　I　
thank　you。’　

Mrs。　Crupp；　who　had　been　incessantly　smiling　to　express　sweet　
temper；　and　incessantly　holding　her　head　on　one　side；　to　express　a　
general　feebleness　of　constitution；　and　incessantly　rubbing　her　
hands；　to　express　a　desire　to　be　of　service　to　all　deserving　objects；　
gradually　smiled　herself；　one…sided　herself；　and　rubbed　herself；　
out　of　the　room。　‘Dick！’　said　my　aunt。　‘You　know　what　I　told　you　
about　time…servers　and　wealth…worshippers？’　

Mr。　Dick—with　rather　a　scared　look；　as　if　he　had　forgotten　it—　
returned　a　hasty　answer　in　the　affirmative。　

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David　Copperfield　

‘Mrs。　Crupp　is　one　of　them；’　said　my　aunt。　‘Barkis；　I’ll　trouble　
you　to　look　after　the　tea；　and　let　me　have　another　cup；　for　I　don’t　
fancy　that　woman’s　pouring…out！’　

I　knew　my　aunt　sufficiently　well　to　know　that　she　had　
something　of　importance　on　her　mind；　and　that　there　was　far　more　
matter　in　this　arrival　than　a　stranger　might　have　supposed。　I　
noticed　how　her　eye　lighted　on　me；　when　she　thought　my　attention　
otherwise　occupied；　and　what　a　curious　process　of　hesitation　
appeared　to　be　going　on　within　her；　while　she　preserved　her　
outward　stiffness　and　composure。　I　began　to　reflect　whether　I　had　
done　anything　to　offend　her；　and　my　conscience　whispered　me　
that　I　had　not　yet　told　her　about　Dora。　Could　it　by　any　means　be　
that；　I　wondered！　

As　I　knew　she　would　only　speak　in　her　own　good　time；　I　sat　
down　near　her；　and　spoke　to　the　birds；　and　played　with　the　cat；　
and　was　as　easy　as　I　could　be。　But　I　was　very　far　from　being　really　
easy；　and　I　should　still　have　been　so；　even　if　Mr。　Dick；　leaning　over　
the　great　kite　behind　my　aunt；　had　not　taken　every　secret　
opportunity　of　shaking　his　head　darkly　at　me；　and　pointing　at　her。　

‘Trot；’　said　my　aunt　at　last；　when　she　had　finished　her　tea；　and　
carefully　smoothed　down　her　dress；　and　wiped　her　lips—‘you　
needn’t　go；　Barkis！—Trot；　have　you　got　to　be　firm　and　self…
reliant？’　

‘I　hope　so；　aunt。’　

‘What　do　you　think？’　inquired　Miss　Betsey。　

‘I　think　so；　aunt。’　

‘Then　why；　my　love；’　said　my　aunt；　looking　earnestly　at　me；　
‘why　do　you　think　I　prefer　to　sit　upon　this　property　of　mine　
tonight？’　

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David　Copperfield　

I　shook　my　head；　unable　to　guess。　

‘Because；’　said　my　aunt；　‘it’s　all　I　have。　Because　I’m　ruined；　my　
dear！’　

If　the　house；　and　every　one　of　us；　had　tumbled　out　into　the　river　
together；　I　could　hardly　have　received　a　greater　shock。　

‘Dick　knows　it；’　said　my　aunt；　laying　her　hand　calmly　on　my　
shoulder。　‘I　am　ruined；　my　dear　Trot！　All　I　have　in　the　world　is　in　
this　room；　except　the　cottage；　and　that　I　have　left　Janet　to　let。　
Barkis；　I　want　to　get　a　bed　for　this　gentleman　tonight。　To　save　
expense；　perhaps　you　can　make　up　something　here　for　myself。　
Anything　will　do。　It’s　only　for　tonight。　We’ll　talk　about　this；　more；　
tomorrow。’　

I　was　roused　from　my　amazement；　and　concern　for　her—I　am　
sure；　for　her—by　her　falling　on　my　neck；　for　a　moment；　and　crying　
that　she　only　grieved　for　me。　In　another　moment　she　suppressed　
this　emotion；　and　said　with　an　aspect　more　triumphant　than　
dejected：　

‘We　must　meet　reverses　boldly；　and　not　suffer　them　to　frighten　
us；　my　dear。　We　must　learn　to　act　the　play　out。　We　must　live　
misfortune　down；　Trot！’　

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David　Copperfield　

Chapter　35　

DEPRESSION　

As　soon　as　I　could　recover　my　presence　of　mind；　which　
quite　deserted　me　in　the　first　overpowering　shock　of　my　
aunt’s　intelligence；　I　proposed　to　Mr。　Dick　to　come　round　
to　the　chandler’s　shop；　and　take　possession　of　the　bed　which　Mr。　
Peggotty　had　lately　vacated。　The　chandler’s　shop　being　in　
Hungerford　Market；　and　Hungerford　Market　being　a　very　
different　place　in　those　days；　there　was　a　low　wooden　colonnade　
before　the　door　（not　very　unlike　that　before　the　house　where　the　
little　man　and　woman　used　to　live；　in　the　old　weather…glass）；　which　
pleased　Mr。　Dick　mightily。　The　glory　of　lodging　over　this　structure　
would　have　compensated　him；　I　dare　say；　for　many　
inconveniences；　but；　as　there　were　really　few　to　bear；　beyond　the　
compound　of　flavours　I　have　already　mentioned；　and　perhaps　the　
want　of　a　little　more　elbow…room；　he　was　perfectly　charmed　with　
his　accommodation。　Mrs。　Crupp　had　indignantly　assured　him　that　
there　wasn’t　room　to　swing　a　cat　there；　but；　as　Mr。　Dick　justly　
observed　to　me；　sitting　down　on　the　foot　of　the　bed；　nursing　his　
leg；　‘You　know；　Trotwood；　I　don’t　want　to　swing　a　cat。　I　never　do　
swing　a　cat。　Therefore；　what　does　that　signify　to　me！’　

I　tried　to　ascertain　whether　Mr。　Dick　had　any　understanding　of　
the　causes　of　this　sudden　and　great　change　in　my　aunt’s　affairs。　
As　I　might　have　expected；　he　had　none　at　all。　The　only　account　he　
could　give　of　it　was；　that　my　aunt　had　said　to　him；　the　day　before　
yesterday；　‘Now；　Dick；　are　you　really　and　truly　the　philosopher　I　

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David　Copperfield　

take　you　for？’　That　then　he　had　said；　Yes；　he　hoped　so。　That　then　
my　aunt　had　said；　‘Dick；　I　am　ruined。’　That　then　he　had　said；　‘Oh；　
indeed！’　That　then　my　aunt　had　praised　him　highly；　which　he　was　
glad　of。　And　that　then　they　had　come　to　me；　and　had　had　bottled　
porter　and　sandwiches　on　the　road。　

Mr。　Dick　was　so　very　complacent；　sitting　on　the　foot　of　the　bed；　
nursing　his　leg；　and　telling　me　this；　with　his　eyes　wide　open　and　a　
surprised　smile；　that　I　am　sorry　to　say　I　was　provoked　into　
explaining　to　him　that　ruin　meant　distress；　want；　and　starvation；　
but　I　was　soon　bitterly　reproved　for　this　harshness；　by　seeing　his　
face　turn　pale；　and　tears　course　down　his　lengthened　cheeks；　while　
he　fixed　upon　me　a　look　of　such　unutterable　woe；　that　it　might　
have　softened　a　far　harder　heart　than　mine。　I　took　infinitely　
greater　pains　to　cheer　him　up　again　than　I　had　taken　to　depress　
him；　and　I　soon　understood　（as　I　ought　to　have　known　at　first）　that　
he　had　been　so　confident；　merely　because　of　his　faith　in　the　wisest　
and　most　wonderful　of　women；　and　his　unbounded　reliance　on　my　
intellectual　resources。　The　latter；　I　believe；　he　considered　a　match　
for　any　kind　of　disaster　not　absolutely　mortal。　

‘What　can　we　do；　Trotwood？’　said　Mr。　Dick。　‘There’s　the　
Memorial—’　

‘To　be　sure　there　is；’　said　I。　‘But　all　we　can　do　just　now；　Mr。　
Dick；　is　to　keep　a　cheerful　countenance；　and　not　let　my　aunt　see　
that　we　are　thinking　about　it。’　

He　assented　to　this　in　the　most　earnest　manner；　and　implored　
me；　if　I　should　see　him　wandering　an　inch　out　of　the　right　course；　
to　recall　him　by　some　of　those　superior　methods　which　were　
always　at　my　command。　But　I　regret　to　state　that　the　fright　I　had　
given　him　proved　too　much　for　his　best　attempts　at　concealment。　

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David　Copperfield　

All　the　evening　his　eyes　wandered　to　my　aunt’s　face；　with　an　
expression　of　the　most　dismal　apprehension；　as　if　he　saw　her　
growing　thin　on　the　spot。　He　was　conscious　of　this；　and　put　a　
constraint　upon　his　head；　but　his　keeping　that　immovable；　and　
sitting　rolling　his　eyes　like　a　piece　of　machinery；　did　not　mend　the　
matter　at　all。　I　saw　him　look　at　the　loaf　at　supper　（which　happened　
to　be　a　small　one）；　as　if　nothing　else　stood　between　us　and　famine；　
and　when　my　aunt　insisted　on　his　making　his　customary　repast；　I　
detected　him　in　the　act　of　pocketing　fragments　of　his　bread　and　
cheese；　I　have　no　doubt　for　the　purpose　of　reviving　us　with　those　
savings；　when　we　should　have　reached　an　advanced　stage　of　
attenuation。　

My　aunt；　on　the　other　hand；　was　in　a　composed　frame　of　mind；　
which　was　a　lesson　to　all　of　us—to　me；　I　am　sure。　She　was　
extremely　gracious　to　Peggotty；　except