david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第145部分

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action；　Mr。　Copperfield。　When　I　take　a　gentleman　to　my　house；　no　
matter　whether　he　is　nineteen；　twenty…nine；　or　ninety；　I　take　him　
there　in　a　spirit　of　confidence。　If　he　abuses　my　confidence；　he　
commits　a　dishonourable　action；　Mr。　Copperfield。’　

‘I　feel　it；　sir；　I　assure　you；’　I　returned。　‘But　I　never　thought　so；　
before。　Sincerely；　honestly；　indeed；　Mr。　Spenlow；　I　never　thought　
so；　before。　I　love　Miss　Spenlow　to　that　extent—’　

‘Pooh！　nonsense！’　said　Mr。　Spenlow；　reddening。　‘Pray　don’t　tell　

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David　Copperfield　

me　to　my　face　that　you　love　my　daughter；　Mr。　Copperfield！’　

‘Could　I　defend　my　conduct　if　I　did　not；　sir？’　I　returned；　with　all　
humility。　

‘Can　you　defend　your　conduct　if　you　do；　sir？’　said　Mr。　Spenlow；　
stopping　short　upon　the　hearth…rug。　‘Have　you　considered　your　
years；　and　my　daughter’s　years；　Mr。　Copperfield？　Have　you　
considered　what　it　is　to　undermine　the　confidence　that　should　
subsist　between　my　daughter　and　myself？　Have　you　considered　
my　daughter’s　station　in　life；　the　projects　I　may　contemplate　for　
her　advancement；　the　testamentary　intentions　I　may　have　with　
reference　to　her？　Have　you　considered　anything；　Mr。　
Copperfield？’　

‘Very　little；　sir；　I　am　afraid；’　I　answered；　speaking　to　him　as　
respectfully　and　sorrowfully　as　I　felt；　‘but　pray　believe　me；　I　have　
considered　my　own　worldly　position。　When　I　explained　it　to　you；　
we　were　already　engaged—’　

‘I　beg；’　said　Mr。　Spenlow；　more　like　Punch　than　I　had　ever　seen　
him；　as　he　energetically　struck　one　hand　upon　the　other—I　could　
not　help　noticing　that　even　in　my　despair；　‘that　you　Will　not　talk　to　
me　of　engagements；　Mr。　Copperfield！’　

The　otherwise　immovable　Miss　Murdstone　laughed　
contemptuously　in　one　short　syllable。　

‘When　I　explained　my　altered　position　to　you；　sir；’　I　began　
again；　substituting　a　new　form　of　expression　for　what　was　so　
unpalatable　to　him；　‘this　concealment；　into　which　I　am　so　unhappy　
as　to　have　led　Miss　Spenlow；　had　begun。　Since　I　have　been　in　that　
altered　position；　I　have　strained　every　nerve；　I　have　exerted　every　
energy；　to　improve　it。　I　am　sure　I　shall　improve　it　in　time。　Will　you　
grant　me　time—any　length　of　time？　We　are　both　so　young；　sir；—’　

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‘You　are　right；’　interrupted　Mr。　Spenlow；　nodding　his　head　a　
great　many　times；　and　frowning　very　much；　‘you　are　both　very　
young。　It’s　all　nonsense。　Let　there　be　an　end　of　the　nonsense。　Take　
away　those　letters；　and　throw　them　in　the　fire。　Give　me　Miss　
Spenlow’s　letters　to　throw　in　the　fire；　and　although　our　future　
intercourse　must；　you　are　aware；　be　restricted　to　the　Commons　
here；　we　will　agree　to　make　no　further　mention　of　the　past。　Come；　
Mr。　Copperfield；　you　don’t　want　sense；　and　this　is　the　sensible　
course。’　

No。　I　couldn’t　think　of　agreeing　to　it。　I　was　very　sorry；　but　there　
was　a　higher　consideration　than　sense。　Love　was　above　all　earthly　
considerations；　and　I　loved　Dora　to　idolatry；　and　Dora　loved　me。　I　
didn’t　exactly　say　so；　I　softened　it　down　as　much　as　I　could；　but　I　
implied　it；　and　I　was　resolute　upon　it。　I　don’t　think　I　made　myself　
very　ridiculous；　but　I　know　I　was　resolute。　

‘Very　well；　Mr。　Copperfield；’　said　Mr。　Spenlow；　‘I　must　try　my　
influence　with　my　daughter。’　

Miss　Murdstone；　by　an　expressive　sound；　a　long　drawn　
respiration；　which　was　neither　a　sigh　nor　a　moan；　but　was　like　
both；　gave　it　as　her　opinion　that　he　should　have　done　this　at　first。　

‘I　must　try；’　said　Mr。　Spenlow；　confirmed　by　this　support；　‘my　
influence　with　my　daughter。　Do　you　decline　to　take　those　letters；　
Mr。　Copperfield？’　For　I　had　laid　them　on　the　table。　

Yes。　I　told　him　I　hoped　he　would　not　think　it　wrong；　but　I　
couldn’t　possibly　take　them　from　Miss　Murdstone。　

‘Nor　from　me？’　said　Mr。　Spenlow。　

No；　I　replied　with　the　profoundest　respect；　nor　from　him。　

‘Very　well！’　said　Mr。　Spenlow。　

A　silence　succeeding；　I　was　undecided　whether　to　go　or　stay。　At　

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length　I　was　moving　quietly　towards　the　door；　with　the　intention　of　
saying　that　perhaps　I　should　consult　his　feelings　best　by　
withdrawing：　when　he　said；　with　his　hands　in　his　coat　pockets；　into　
which　it　was　as　much　as　he　could　do　to　get　them；　and　with　what　I　
should　call；　upon　the　whole；　a　decidedly　pious　air：　

‘You　are　probably　aware；　Mr。　Copperfield；　that　I　am　not　
altogether　destitute　of　worldly　possessions；　and　that　my　daughter　
is　my　nearest　and　dearest　relative？’　

I　hurriedly　made　him　a　reply　to　the　effect；　that　I　hoped　the　error　
into　which　I　had　been　betrayed　by　the　desperate　nature　of　my　
love；　did　not　induce　him　to　think　me　mercenary　too？　

‘I　don’t　allude　to　the　matter　in　that　light；’　said　Mr。　Spenlow。　‘It　
would　be　better　for　yourself；　and　all　of　us；　if　you　were　mercenary；　
Mr。　Copperfield—I　mean；　if　you　were　more　discreet　and　less　
influenced　by　all　this　youthful　nonsense。　No。　I　merely　say；　with　
quite　another　view；　you　are　probably　aware　I　have　some　property　
to　bequeath　to　my　child？’　

I　certainly　supposed　so。　

‘And　you　can　hardly　think；’　said　Mr。　Spenlow；　‘having　
experience　of　what　we　see；　in　the　Commons　here；　every　day；　of　the　
various　unaccountable　and　negligent　proceedings　of　men；　in　
respect　of　their　testamentary　arrangements—of　all　subjects；　the　
one　on　which　perhaps　the　strangest　revelations　of　human　
inconsistency　are　to　be　met　with—but　that　mine　are　made？’　

I　inclined　my　head　in　acquiescence。　

‘I　should　not　allow；’　said　Mr。　Spenlow；　with　an　evident　increase　
of　pious　sentiment；　and　slowly　shaking　his　head　as　he　poised　
himself　upon　his　toes　and　heels　alternately；　‘my　suitable　provision　
for　my　child　to　be　influenced　by　a　piece　of　youthful　folly　like　the　

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present。　It　is　mere　folly。　Mere　nonsense。　In　a　little　while；　it　will　
weigh　lighter　than　any　feather。　But　I　might—I　might—if　this　silly　
business　were　not　completely　relinquished　altogether；　be　induced　
in　some　anxious　moment　to　guard　her　from；　and　surround　her　
with　protections　against；　the　consequences　of　any　foolish　step　in　
the　way　of　marriage。　Now；　Mr。　Copperfield；　I　hope　that　you　will　
not　render　it　necessary　for　me　to　open；　even　for　a　quarter　of　an　
hour；　that　closed　page　in　the　book　of　life；　and　unsettle；　even　for　a　
quarter　of　an　hour；　grave　affairs　long　since　composed。’　

There　was　a　serenity；　a　tranquillity；　a　calm　sunset　air　about　
him；　which　quite　affected　me。　He　was　so　peaceful　and　resigned—　
clearly　had　his　affairs　in　such　perfect　train；　and　so　systematically　
wound　up—that　he　was　a　man　to　feel　touched　in　the　
contemplation　of。　I　really　think　I　saw　tears　rise　to　his　eyes；　from　
the　depth　of　his　own　feeling　of　all　this。　

But　what　could　I　do？　I　could　not　deny　Dora　and　my　own　heart。　
When　he　told　me　I　had　better　take　a　week　to　consider　of　what　he　
had　said；　how　could　I　say　I　wouldn’t　take　a　week；　yet　how　could　I　
fail　to　know　that　no　amount　of　weeks　could　influence　such　love　as　
mine？　

‘In　the　meantime；　confer　with　Miss　Trotwood；　or　with　any　
person　with　any　knowledge　of　life；’　said　Mr。　Spenlow；　adjusting　his　
cravat　with　both　hands。　‘Take　a　week；　Mr。　Copperfield。’　

I　submitted；　and；　with　a　countenance　as　expressive　as　I　was　
able　to　make　it　of　dejected　and　despairing　constancy；　came　out　of　
the　room。　Miss　Murdstone’s　heavy　eyebrows　followed　me　to　the　
door—I　say　her　eyebrows　rather　than　her　eyes；　because　they　were　
much　more　important　in　her　face—and　she　looked　so　exactly　as　
she　used　to　look；　at　about　that　hour　of　the　morning；　in　our　parlour　

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at　Blunderstone；　that　I　could　have　fancied　I　had　been　breaking　
down　in　my　lessons　again；　and　that　the　dead　weight　on　my　mind　
was　that　horrible　old　spelling…book；　with　oval　woodcuts；　shaped；　to　
my　youthful　fancy；　like　the　glasses　out　of　spectacles。　

When　I　got　to　the　office；　and；　shutting　out　old　Tiffey　and　the　
rest　of　them　with　my　hands；　sat　at　my　desk；　in　my　own　particular　
nook；　thinking　of　this　earthquake　that　had　taken　place　so　
unexpectedly；　and　in　the　bitterness　of　my　spirit　cursing　Jip；　I　fell　
into　such　a　state　of　torment　about　Dora；　that　I　wonder　I　did　not　
take　up　my　hat　and　rush　insanely　to　Norwood。　The　idea　of　their　
frightening　her；　and　making　her　cry；　and　of　my　not　being　there　to　
comfort　her；　was　so　excruciating；　that　it　impelled　me　to　write　a　
wild　letter　to　Mr。　Spenlow；　beseeching　him　not　to　visit　upon　her　
the　consequences　of　my　awful　destiny。　I　implored　him　to　spare　her　
gentle　nature—not　to　crush　a　fragile　flower—and　addressed　him　
generally；　to　the　best　of　my　remembrance；　as　if；　instead　of　being　
her　father；　he　had　been　an　Ogre；　or　the　Dragon　of　Wantley。　This　
letter　I　sealed　and　laid　upon　his　desk　before　he　returned；　and　
when　he　came　in；　I　saw　him；　through　the　half…opened　door　of　his　
room；　take　it　up　and　read　it。　

He　said　nothing　about　it　all　the　morning；　but　before　he　went　
away　in　the　afternoon　he　called　me　i