david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第73部分

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ventured　on　a　second；　but　ever　afterwards　confined　himself　to　
looking　watchfully　at　her　for　her　suggestions；　and　rattling　his　
money。　

‘Trot；　I　tell　you　what；　my　dear；’　said　my　aunt；　one　morning　in　
the　Christmas　season　when　I　left　school：　‘as　this　knotty　point　is　
still　unsettled；　and　as　we　must　not　make　a　mistake　in　our　decision　
if　we　can　help　it；　I　think　we　had　better　take　a　little　breathing…time。　
In　the　meanwhile；　you　must　try　to　look　at　it　from　a　new　point　of　
view；　and　not　as　a　schoolboy。’　

‘I　will；　aunt。’　

‘It　has　occurred　to　me；’　pursued　my　aunt；　‘that　a　little　change；　
and　a　glimpse　of　life　out　of　doors；　may　be　useful　in　helping　you　to　
know　your　own　mind；　and　form　a　cooler　judgement。　Suppose　you　
were　to　go　down　into　the　old　part　of　the　country　again；　for　
instance；　and　see　that—that　out…of…the…way　woman　with　the　
savagest　of　names；’　said　my　aunt；　rubbing　her　nose；　for　she　could　
never　thoroughly　forgive　Peggotty　for　being　so　called。　

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‘Of　all　things　in　the　world；　aunt；　I　should　like　it　best！’　

‘Well；’　said　my　aunt；　‘that’s　lucky；　for　I　should　like　it　too。　But　it’s　
natural　and　rational　that　you　should　like　it。　And　I　am　very　well　
persuaded　that　whatever　you　do；　Trot；　will　always　be　natural　and　
rational。’　

‘I　hope　so；　aunt。’　

‘Your　sister；　Betsey　Trotwood；’　said　my　aunt；　‘would　have　been　
as　natural　and　rational　a　girl　as　ever　breathed。　You’ll　be　worthy　of　
her；　won’t　you？’　

‘I　hope　I　shall　be　worthy　of　you；　aunt。　That　will　be　enough　for　
me。’　

‘It’s　a　mercy　that　poor　dear　baby　of　a　mother　of　yours　didn’t　
live；’　said　my　aunt；　looking　at　me　approvingly；　‘or　she’d　have　been　
so　vain　of　her　boy　by　this　time；　that　her　soft　little　head　would　have　
been　completely　turned；　if　there　was　anything　of　it　left　to　turn。’　
（My　aunt　always　excused　any　weakness　of　her　own　in　my　behalf；　
by　transferring　it　in　this　way　to　my　poor　mother。）　‘Bless　me；　
Trotwood；　how　you　do　remind　me　of　her！’　

‘Pleasantly；　I　hope；　aunt？’　said　I。　

‘He’s　as　like　her；　Dick；’　said　my　aunt；　emphatically；　‘he’s　as　like　
her；　as　she　was　that　afternoon　before　she　began　to　fret—bless　my　
heart；　he’s　as　like　her；　as　he　can　look　at　me　out　of　his　two　eyes！’　

‘Is　he　indeed？’　said　Mr。　Dick。　

‘And　he’s　like　David；　too；’　said　my　aunt；　decisively。　

‘He　is　very　like　David！’　said　Mr。　Dick。　

‘But　what　I　want　you　to　be；　Trot；’　resumed　my　aunt；　‘—I　don’t　
mean　physically；　but　morally；　you　are　very　well　physically—is；　a　
firm　fellow。　A　fine　firm　fellow；　with　a　will　of　your　own。　With　
resolution；’　said　my　aunt；　shaking　her　cap　at　me；　and　clenching　

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her　hand。　‘With　determination。　With　character；　Trot—with　
strength　of　character　that　is　not　to　be　influenced；　except　on　good　
reason；　by　anybody；　or　by　anything。　That’s　what　I　want　you　to　be。　
That’s　what　your　father　and　mother　might　both　have　been；　
Heaven　knows；　and　been　the　better　for　it。’　

I　intimated　that　I　hoped　I　should　be　what　she　described。　

‘That　you　may　begin；　in　a　small　way；　to　have　a　reliance　upon　
yourself；　and　to　act　for　yourself；’　said　my　aunt；　‘I　shall　send　you　
upon　your　trip；　alone。　I　did　think；　once；　of　Mr。　Dick’s　going　with　
you；　but；　on　second　thoughts；　I　shall　keep　him　to　take　care　of　me。’　

Mr。　Dick；　for　a　moment；　looked　a　little　disappointed；　until　the　
honour　and　dignity　of　having　to　take　care　of　the　most　wonderful　
woman　in　the　world；　restored　the　sunshine　to　his　face。　

‘Besides；’　said　my　aunt；　‘there’s　the　Memorial—’　

‘Oh；　certainly；’　said　Mr。　Dick；　in　a　hurry；　‘I　intend；　Trotwood；　to　
get　that　done　immediately—it　really　must　be　done　immediately！　
And　then　it　will　go　in；　you　know—and　then—’　said　Mr。　Dick；　after　
checking　himself；　and　pausing　a　long　time；　‘there’ll　be　a　pretty　
kettle　of　fish！’　

In　pursuance　of　my　aunt’s　kind　scheme；　I　was　shortly　
afterwards　fitted　out　with　a　handsome　purse　of　money；　and　a　
portmanteau；　and　tenderly　dismissed　upon　my　expedition。　At　
parting；　my　aunt　gave　me　some　good　advice；　and　a　good　many　
kisses；　and　said　that　as　her　object　was　that　I　should　look　about　me；　
and　should　think　a　little；　she　would　recommend　me　to　stay　a　few　
days　in　London；　if　I　liked　it；　either　on　my　way　down　into　Suffolk；　
or　in　coming　back。　In　a　word；　I　was　at　liberty　to　do　what　I　would；　
for　three　weeks　or　a　month；　and　no　other　conditions　were　imposed　
upon　my　freedom　than　the　before…mentioned　thinking　and　looking　

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about　me；　and　a　pledge　to　write　three　times　a　week　and　faithfully　
report　myself。　

I　went　to　Canterbury　first；　that　I　might　take　leave　of　Agnes　and　
Mr。　Wickfield　（my　old　room　in　whose　house　I　had　not　yet　
relinquished）；　and　also　of　the　good　Doctor。　Agnes　was　very　glad　to　
see　me；　and　told　me　that　the　house　had　not　been　like　itself　since　I　
had　left　it。　

‘I　am　sure　I　am　not　like　myself　when　I　am　away；’　said　I。　‘I　seem　
to　want　my　right　hand；　when　I　miss　you。　Though　that’s　not　saying　
much；　for　there’s　no　head　in　my　right　hand；　and　no　heart。　
Everyone　who　knows　you；　consults　with　you；　and　is　guided　by　you；　
Agnes。’　

‘Everyone　who　knows　me；　spoils　me；　I　believe；’　she　answered；　
smiling。　

‘No。　it’s　because　you　are　like　no　one　else。　You　are　so　good；　and　
so　sweet…tempered。　You　have　such　a　gentle　nature；　and　you　are　
always　right。’　

‘You　talk；’　said　Agnes；　breaking　into　a　pleasant　laugh；　as　she　sat　
at　work；　‘as　if　I　were　the　late　Miss　Larkins。’　

‘Come！　It’s　not　fair　to　abuse　my　confidence；’　I　answered；　
reddening　at　the　recollection　of　my　blue　enslaver。　‘But　I　shall　
confide　in　you；　just　the　same；　Agnes。　I　can　never　grow　out　of　that。　
Whenever　I　fall　into　trouble；　or　fall　in　love；　I　shall　always　tell　you；　if　
you’ll　let　me—even　when　I　come　to　fall　in　love　in　earnest。’　

‘Why；　you　have　always　been　in　earnest！’　said　Agnes；　laughing　
again。　

‘Oh！　that　was　as　a　child；　or　a　schoolboy；’　said　I；　laughing　in　my　
turn；　not　without　being　a　little　shame…faced。　‘Times　are　altering　
now；　and　I　suppose　I　shall　be　in　a　terrible　state　of　earnestness　one　

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day　or　other。　My　wonder　is；　that　you　are　not　in　earnest　yourself；　by　

this　time；　Agnes。’　

Agnes　laughed　again；　and　shook　her　head。　

‘Oh；　I　know　you　are　not！’　said　I；　‘because　if　you　had　been　you　
would　have　told　me。　Or　at　least’—for　I　saw　a　faint　blush　in　her　
face；　‘you　would　have　let　me　find　it　out　for　myself。　But　there　is　no　
one　that　I　know　of；　who　deserves　to　love　you；　Agnes。　Someone　of　a　
nobler　character；　and　more　worthy　altogether　than　anyone　I　have　
ever　seen　here；　must　rise　up；　before　I　give　my　consent。　In　the　time　
to　come；　I　shall　have　a　wary　eye　on　all　admirers；　and　shall　exact　a　
great　deal　from　the　successful　one；　I　assure　you。’　

We　had　gone　on；　so　far；　in　a　mixture　of　confidential　jest　and　
earnest；　that　had　long　grown　naturally　out　of　our　familiar　
relations；　begun　as　mere　children。　But　Agnes；　now　suddenly　lifting　
up　her　eyes　to　mine；　and　speaking　in　a　different　manner；　said：　

‘Trotwood；　there　is　something　that　I　want　to　ask　you；　and　that　I　
may　not　have　another　opportunity　of　asking　for　a　long　time；　
perhaps—something　I　would　ask；　I　think；　of　no　one　else。　Have　you　
observed　any　gradual　alteration　in　Papa？’　

I　had　observed　it；　and　had　often　wondered　whether　she　had　too。　
I　must　have　shown　as　much；　now；　in　my　face；　for　her　eyes　were　in　
a　moment　cast　down；　and　I　saw　tears　in　them。　

‘Tell　me　what　it　is；’　she　said；　in　a　low　voice。　

‘I　think—shall　I　be　quite　plain；　Agnes；　liking　him　so　much？’　

‘Yes；’　she　said。　

‘I　think　he　does　himself　no　good　by　the　habit　that　has　increased　
upon　him　since　I　first　came　here。　He　is　often　very　nervous—or　I　
fancy　so。’　

‘It　is　not　fancy；’　said　Agnes；　shaking　her　head。　

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David　Copperfield　

‘His　hand　trembles；　his　speech　is　not　plain；　and　his　eyes　look　
wild。　I　have　remarked　that　at　those　times；　and　when　he　is　least　like　
himself；　he　is　most　certain　to　be　wanted　on　some　business。’　

‘By　Uriah；’　said　Agnes。　

‘Yes；　and　the　sense　of　being　unfit　for　it；　or　of　not　having　
understood　it；　or　of　having　shown　his　condition　in　spite　of　himself；　
seems　to　make　him　so　uneasy；　that　next　day　he　is　worse；　and　next　
day　worse；　and　so　he　becomes　jaded　and　haggard。　Do　not　be　
alarmed　by　what　I　say；　Agnes；　but　in　this　state　I　saw　him；　only　the　
other　evening；　lay　down　his　head　upon　his　desk；　and　shed　tears　
like　a　child。’　

Her　hand　passed　softly　before　my　lips　while　I　was　yet　speaking；　
and　in　a　moment　she　had　met　her　father　at　the　door　of　the　room；　
and　was　hanging　on　his　shoulder。　The　expression　of　her　face；　as　
they　both　looked　towards　me；　I　felt　to　be　very　touching。　There　was　
such　deep　fondness　for　him；　and　gratitude　to　him　for　all　his　love　
and　care；　in　her　beautiful　look；　and　there　was　such　a　fervent　
appeal　to　me　to　deal　tenderly　by　him；　even　in　my　inmost　thoughts；　
an