the poet at the breakfast table-第63部分

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excess　of　vitality；　great　feeders；　great　laughers；　great　story…
tellers；　who　come　sweeping　over　their　company　with　a　huge　tidal　wave
of　animal　spirits　and　boisterous　merriment。　　I　have　pretty　good
spirits　myself；　and　enjoy　a　little　mild　pleasantry；　but　I　am
oppressed　and　extinguished　by　these　great　lusty；　noisy　creatures；
and　feel　as　if　I　were　a　mute　at　a　funeral　when　they　get　into　full
blast。

I　cannot　get　along　much　better　with　those　drooping；　languid　people；
whose　vitality　falls　short　as　much　as　that　of　the　others　is　in
excess。　　I　have　not　life　enough　for　two；　I　wish　I　had。　　It　is　not
very　enlivening　to　meet　a　fellow…creature　whose　expression　and
accents　say；　〃You　are　the　hair　that　breaks　the　camel's　back　of　my
endurance；　you　are　the　last　drop　that　makes　my　cup　of　woe　run　over〃；
persons　whose　heads　drop　on　one　side　like　those　of　toothless　infants；
whose　voices　recall　the　tones　in　which　our　old　snuffling　choir　used
to　wail　out　the　verses　of：

　　　　　〃Life　is　the　time　to　serve　the　Lord。〃

There　is　another　style　which　does　not　captivate　me。　　I　recognize　an
attempt　at　the　grand　manner　now　and　then；　in　persons　who　are　well
enough　in　their　way；　but　of　no　particular　importance；　socially　or
otherwise。　　Some　family　tradition　of　wealth　or　distinction　is　apt　to
be　at　the　bottom　of　it；　and　it　survives　all　the　advantages　that　used
to　set　it　off。　　I　like　family　pride　as　well　as　my　neighbors；　and
respect　the　high…born　fellow…citizen　whose　progenitors　have　not
worked　in　their　shirt…sleeves　for　the　last　two　generations　full　as
much　as　I　ought　to。　　But　grand　pere　oblige；　a　person　with　a　known
grandfather　is　too　distinguished　to　find　it　necessary　to　put　on　airs。
The　few　Royal　Princes　I　have　happened　to　know　were　very　easy　people
to　get　along　with；　and　had　not　half　the　social　knee…action　I　have
often　seen　in　the　collapsed　dowagers　who　lifted　their　eyebrows　at　me
in　my　earlier　years。

My　heart　does　not　warm　as　it　should　do　towards　the　persons；　not
intimates；　who　are　always　too　glad　to　see　me　when　we　meet　by
accident；　and　discover　all　at　once　that　they　have　a　vast　deal　to
unbosom　themselves　of　to　me。

There　is　one　blameless　person　whom　I　cannot　love　and　have　no　excuse
for　hating。　　It　is　the　innocent　fellow…creature；　otherwise
inoffensive　to　me；　whom　I　find　I　have　involuntarily　joined　on　turning
a　corner。　　I　suppose　the　Mississippi；　which　was　flowing　quietly
along；　minding　its　own　business；　hates　the　Missouri　for　coming　into
it　all　at　once　with　its　muddy　stream。　　I　suppose　the　Missouri　in　like
manner　hates　the　Mississippi　for　diluting　with　its　limpid；　but
insipid　current　the　rich　reminiscences　of　the　varied　soils　through
which　its　own　stream　has　wandered。　　I　will　not　compare　myself；　to　the
clear　or　the　turbid　current；　but　I　will　own　that　my　heart　sinks　when
I　find　all　of　a　sudden　I　am　in　for　a　corner　confluence；　and　I　cease
loving　my　neighbor　as　myself　until　I　can　get　away　from　him。

These　antipathies　are　at　least　weaknesses；　they　may　be　sins　in　the
eye　of　the　Recording　Angel。　　I　often　reproach　myself　with　my　wrong…
doings。　　I　should　like　sometimes　to　thank　Heaven　for　saving　me　from
some　kinds　of　transgression；　and　even　for　granting　me　some　qualities
that　if　I　dared　I　should　be　disposed　to　call　virtues。　　I　should　do
so；　I　suppose；　if　I　did　not　remember　the　story　of　the　Pharisee。　　That
ought　not　to　hinder　me。　　The　parable　was　told　to　illustrate　a　single
virtue；　humility；　and　the　most　unwarranted　inferences　have　been　drawn
from　it　as　to　the　whole　character　of　the　two　parties。　　It　seems　not
at　all　unlikely；　but　rather　probable；　that　the　Pharisee　was　a　fairer
dealer；　a　better　husband；　and　a　more　charitable　person　than　the
Publican；　whose　name　has　come　down　to　us　〃linked　with　one　virtue；〃
but　who　may　have　been　guilty；　for　aught　that　appears　to　the　contrary；
of　〃a　thousand　crimes。〃　　Remember　how　we　limit　the　application　of
other　parables。　　The　lord；　it　will　be　recollected；　commended　the
unjust　steward　because　he　had　done　wisely。　　His　shrewdness　was　held
up　as　an　example；　but　after　all　he　was　a　miserable　swindler；　and
deserved　the　state…prison　as　much　as　many　of　our　financial　operators。
The　parable　of　the　Pharisee　and　the　Publican　is　a　perpetual　warning
against　spiritual　pride。　　But　it　must　not　frighten　any　one　of　us　out
of　being　thankful　that　he　is　not；　like　this　or　that　neighbor；　under
bondage　to　strong　drink　or　opium；　that　he　is　not　an　Erie…Railroad
Manager；　and　that　his　head　rests　in　virtuous　calm　on　his　own　pillow。
If　he　prays　in　the　morning　to　be　kept　out　of　temptation　as　well　as
for　his　daily　bread；　shall　he　not　return　thanks　at　night　that　he　has
not　fallen　into　sin　as　well　as　that　his　stomach　has　been　filled？　　I
do　not　think　the　poor　Pharisee　has　ever　had　fair　play；　and　I　am
afraid　a　good　many　people　sin　with　the　comforting；　half…latent
intention　of　smiting　their　breasts　afterwards　and　repeating　the
prayer　of　the　Publican。

　　　　　　　　　　（Sensation。）

This　little　movement　which　I　have　thus　indicated　seemed　to　give　the
Master　new　confidence　in　his　audience。　　He　turned　over　several　pages
until　he　came　to　a　part　of　the　interleaved　volume　where　we　could　all
see　he　had　written　in　a　passage　of　new　matter　in　red　ink　as　of
special　interest。

I　told　you；　he　said；　in　Latin；　and　I　repeat　it　in　English；　that　I
have　freed　my　soul　in　these　pages；I　have　spoken　my　mind。　　I　have
read　you　a　few　extracts；　most　of　them　of　rather　slight　texture；　and
some　of　them；　you　perhaps　thought；　whimsical。　　But　I　meant；　if　I
thought　you　were　in　the　right　mood　for　listening　to　it；　to　read　you
some　paragraphs　which　give　in　small　compass　the　pith；　the　marrow；　of
all　that　my　experience　has　taught　me。　　Life　is　a　fatal　complaint；　and
an　eminently　contagious　one。　　I　took　it　early；　as　we　all　do；　and　have
treated　it　all　along　with　the　best　palliatives　I　could　get　hold　of；
inasmuch　as　I　could　find　no　radical　cure　for　its　evils；　and　have　so
far　managed　to　keep　pretty　comfortable　under　it。

It　is　a　great　thing　for　a　man　to　put　the　whole　meaning　of　his　life
into　a　few　paragraphs；　if　he　does　it　so　that　others　can　make　anything
out　of　it。　　If　he　conveys　his　wisdom　after　the　fashion　of　the　old
alchemists；　he　may　as　well　let　it　alone。　　He　must　talk　in　very　plain
words；　and　that　is　what　I　have　done。　　You　want　to　know　what　a　certain
number　of　scores　of　years　have　taught　me　that　I　think　best　worth
telling。　　If　I　had　half　a　dozen　square　inches　of　paper；　and　one
penful　of　ink；　and　five　minutes　to　use　them　in　for　the　instruction　of
those　who　come　after　me；　what　should　I　put　down　in　writing？　　That　is
the　question。

Perhaps　I　should　be　wiser　if　I　refused　to　attempt　any　such　brief
statement　of　the　most　valuable　lesson　that　life　has　taught　me。　　I　am
by　no　means　sure　that　I　had　not　better　draw　my　pen　through　the　page
that　holds　the　quintessence　of　my　vital　experiences；　and　leave　those
who　wish　to　know　what　it　is　to　distil　to　themselves　from　my　many
printed　pages。　　But　I　have　excited　your　curiosity；　and　I　see　that　you
are　impatient　to　hear　what　the　wisdom；　or　the　folly；　it　may　be；　of　a
life　shows　for；　when　it　is　crowded　into　a　few　lines　as　the　fragrance
of　a　gardenful　of　roses　is　concentrated　in　a　few　drops　of　perfume。

By　this　time　I　confess　I　was　myself　a　little　excited。　　What　was　he
going　to　tell　us？　　The　Young　Astronomer　looked　upon　him　with　an　eye
as　clear　and　steady　and　brilliant　as　the　evening　star；　but　I　could
see　that　he　too　was　a　little　nervous；　wondering　what　would　come　next。

The　old　Master　adjusted　his　large　round　spectacles；　and　began：

It　has　cost　me　fifty　years　to　find　my　place　in　the　Order　of　Things。
I　had　explored　all　the　sciences；　I　had　studied　the　literature　of　all
ages；　I　had　travelled　in　many　lands；　I　had　learned　how　to　follow　the
working　of　thought　in　men　and　of　sentiment　and　instinct　in　women。　　I
had　examined　for　myself　all　the　religions　that　could　make　out　any
claim　for　themselves。　　I　had　fasted　and　prayed　with　the　monks　of　a
lonely　convent；　I　had　mingled　with　the　crowds　that　shouted　glory　at
camp…meetings；　I　had　listened　to　the　threats　of　Calvinists　and　the
promises　of　Universalists；　I　had　been　a　devout　attendant　on　a　Jewish
Synagogue；　I　was　in　correspondence　with　an　intelligent　Buddhist；　and
I　met　frequently　with　the　inner　circle　of　Rationalists；　who　believed
in　the　persistence　of　Force；　and　the　identity　of　alimentary
substances　with　virtue；　and　were　reconstructing　the　universe　on　this
basis；　with　absolute　exclusion　of　all　Supernumeraries。　　In　these
pursuits　I　had　passed　the　larger　part　of　my　half…century　of
existence；　as　yet　with　little　satisfaction。　　It　was　on　the　morning　of
my　fiftieth　birthday　that　the　solution　of　the　great　problem　I　had
sought　so　long　came　to　me　as　a　simple　formula；　with　a　few　grand　but
obvious　inferences。　　I　will　repeat　the　substance　of　this　final
intuition：

The　one　central　fact　an　the　Order　of　Things　which　solves　all
questions　is：

At　this　moment　we　were　interrupted　by　a　knock　at　the　Master's　door。
It　was　most　inopportune；　for　he　was　on　the　point　of　the　great
disclosure；　but　common　politeness　compelled　him　to　answer　it；　and　as
the　step　which　we　had　heard　was　that　of　one　of　the　softer…footed　sex；
he　chose　to　rise　fro