all roads lead to calvary-第37部分

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mean；　dear；　don't　you？〃　she　continued。　〃It　will　be　such　a　comfort　to　me　to　know　that　it's　all　right。〃

In　answer　the　tears　sprang　to　Joan's　eyes。　　She　knelt　down　and　put　her　arms　about　the　woman。

〃Don't　be　so　silly；〃　she　cried。　　〃There's　nothing　going　to　happen。　You're　going　to　get　fat　and　well　again；　and　live　to　see　him　Prime　Minister。〃

〃I　am　getting　thin；　ain't　I？〃　she　said。　　〃I　always　wanted　to　be　thin。〃　　They　both　laughed。

〃But　I　shan't　see　him　that；　even　if　I　do　live；〃　she　went　on。　〃He'll　never　be　that；　without　you。　　And　I'd　be　so　proud　to　think　that　he　would。　　I　shouldn't　mind　going　then；〃　she　added。

Joan　did　not　answer。　　There　seemed　no　words　that　would　come。

〃You　will　promise；　won't　you？〃　she　persisted；　in　a　whisper。　　〃It's　only　'in　case'just　that　I　needn't　worry　myself。〃

Joan　looked　up。　　There　was　something　in　the　eyes　looking　down　upon　her　that　seemed　to　be　compelling　her。

〃If　you'll　promise　to　try　and　get　better；〃　she　answered。

Mrs。　Phillips　stooped　and　kissed　her。　　〃Of　course；　dear；〃　she　said。　〃Perhaps　I　shall；　now　that　my　mind　is　easier。〃

Phillips　came；　as　Mrs。　Phillips　had　predicted。　　He　was　surprised　at　seeing　Joan。　　He　had　not　thought　she　could　get　back　so　soon。　　He　brought　an　evening　paper　with　him。　　It　contained　a　paragraph　to　the　effect　that　Mrs。　Phillips；　wife　of　the　Rt。　Hon。　Robert　Phillips；　M。P。；　was　progressing　favourably　and　hoped　soon　to　be　sufficiently　recovered　to　return　to　her　London　residence。　　It　was　the　first　time　she　had　had　a　paragraph　all　to　herself；　headed　with　her　name。　　She　flushed　with　pleasure；　and　Joan　noticed　that；　after　reading　it　again；　she　folded　the　paper　up　small　and　slipped　it　into　her　pocket。　　The　nurse　came　in　from　her　walk　a　little　later　and　took　Joan　downstairs　with　her。

〃She　ought　not　to　talk　to　more　than　one　person　at　a　time；〃　the　nurse　explained；　with　a　shake　of　the　head。　　She　was　a　quiet；　business…like　woman。　　She　would　not　express　a　definite　opinion。

〃It's　her　mental　state　that　is　the　trouble；〃　was　all　that　she　would　say。　　〃She　ought　to　be　getting　better。　　But　she　doesn't。〃

〃You're　not　a　Christian　Scientist；　by　any　chance？〃　she　asked　Joan　suddenly。

〃No；〃　answered　Joan。　　〃Surely　you're　not　one？〃

〃I　don't　know；〃　answered　the　woman。　　〃I　believe　that　would　do　her　more　good　than　anything　else。　　If　she　would　listen　to　it。　　She　seems　to　have　lost　all　will…power。〃

The　nurse　left　her；　and　the　landlady　came　in　to　lay　the　table。　　She　understood　that　Joan　would　be　dining　with　Mr。　Phillips。　　There　was　no　train　till　the　eight…forty。　　She　kept　looking　at　Joan　as　she　moved　about　the　room。　　Joan　was　afraid　she　would　begin　to　talk；　but　she　must　have　felt　Joan's　antagonism　for　she　remained　silent。　　Once　their　eyes　met；　and　the　woman　leered　at　her。

Phillips　came　down　looking　more　cheerful。　　He　had　detected　improvement　in　Mrs。　Phillips。　　She　was　more　hopeful　in　herself。　They　talked　in　low　tones　during　the　meal；　as　people　do　whose　thoughts　are　elsewhere。　　It　happened　quite　suddenly；　Phillips　explained。　　They　had　come　down　a　few　days　after　the　rising　of　Parliament。　　There　had　been　a　spell　of　hot　weather；　but　nothing　remarkable。　　The　first　attack　had　occurred　about　three　weeks　ago。　It　was　just　after　Hilda　had　gone　back　to　school。　　He　wasn't　sure　whether　he　ought　to　send　for　Hilda；　or　not。　　Her　mother　didn't　want　him　tonot　just　yet。　　Of　course；　if　she　got　worse；　he　would　have　to。　　What　did　Joan　think？did　she　think　there　was　any　real　danger？

Joan　could　not　say。　　So　much　depended　upon　the　general　state　of　health。　　There　was　the　case　of　her　own　father。　　Of　course　she　would　always　be　subject　to　attacks。　　But　this　one　would　have　warned　her　to　be　careful。

Phillips　thought　that　living　out　of　town　might　be　better　for　her；　in　the　futuresomewhere　in　Surrey；　where　he　could　easily　get　up　and　down。　　He　could　sleep　himself　at　the　club　on　nights　when　he　had　to　be　late。

They　talked　without　looking　at　one　another。　　They　did　not　speak　about　themselves。

Mrs。　Phillips　was　in　bed　when　Joan　went　up　to　say　good…bye。　〃You'll　come　again　soon？〃　she　asked；　and　Joan　promised。　　〃You've　made　me　so　happy；〃　she　whispered。　　The　nurse　was　in　the　room。

They　discussed　politics　in　the　train。　　Phillips　had　found　more　support　for　his　crusade　against　Carleton　than　he　had　expected。　　He　was　going　to　open　the　attack　at　once；　thus　forestalling　Carleton's　opposition　to　his　land　scheme。

〃It　isn't　going　to　be　the　Daily　This　and　the　Daily　That　and　the　Weekly　the　Other　all　combined　to　down　me。　　I'm　going　to　tell　the　people　that　it's　Carleton　and　only　CarletonCarleton　here；　Carleton　there；　Carleton　everywhere；　against　them。　　I'm　going　to　drag　him　out　into　the　open　and　make　him　put　up　his　own　fists。〃

Joan　undertook　to　sound　Greyson。　　She　was　sure　Greyson　would　support　him；　in　his　balanced；　gentlemanly　way；　that　could　nevertheless　be　quite　deadly。

They　grew　less　and　less　afraid　of　looking　at　one　another　as　they　felt　that　darkened　room　further　and　further　behind　them。

They　parted　at　Charing　Cross。　　Joan　would　write。　　They　agreed　it　would　be　better　to　choose　separate　days　for　their　visits　to　Folkestone。

She　ran　against　Madge　in　the　morning；　and　invited　herself　to　tea。　Her　father　had　returned　to　Liverpool；　and　her　own　rooms；　for　some　reason；　depressed　her。　　Flossie　was　there　with　young　Halliday。　They　were　both　off　the　next　morning　to　his　people's　place　in　Devonshire；　from　where　they　were　going　to　get　married；　and　had　come　to　say　good…bye。　　Flossie　put　Sam　in　the　passage　and　drew…to　the　door。

〃Have　you　seen　her？〃　she　asked。　　〃How　is　she？〃

〃Oh；　she's　changed　a　good　deal；〃　answered　Joan。　　〃But　I　think　she'll　get　over　it　all　right；　if　she's　careful。〃

〃I　shall　hope　for　the　best；〃　answered　Flossie。　　〃Poor　old　soul；　she's　had　a　good　time。　　Don't　send　me　a　present；　and　then　I　needn't　send　you　onewhen　your　time　comes。　　It's　a　silly　custom。　　Besides；　I've　nowhere　to　put　it。　　Shall　be　in　a　ship　for　the　next　six　months。　　Will　let　you　know　when　we're　back。〃

She　gave　Joan　a　hug　and　a　kiss；　and　was　gone。　　Joan　joined　Madge　in　the　kitchen；　where　she　was　toasting　buns。

〃I　suppose　she's　satisfied　herself　that　he's　brainy；〃　she　laughed。

〃Oh；　brains　aren't　everything；〃　answered　Madge。　　〃Some　of　the　worst　rotters　the　world　has　ever　been　cursed　with　have　been　brainy　enoughmen　and　women。　　We　make　too　much　fuss　about　brains；　just　as　once　upon　a　time　we　did　about　mere　brute　strength；　thinking　that　was　all　that　was　needed　to　make　a　man　great。　　Brain　is　only　muscle　translated　into　civilization。　　That's　not　going　to　save　us。〃

〃You've　been　thinking；〃　Joan　accused　her。　　〃What's　put　all　that　into　your　head？〃

Madge　laughed。　　〃Mixing　with　so　many　brainy　people；　perhaps；〃　she　suggested；　〃and　wondering　what's　become　of　their　souls。〃

〃Be　good；　sweet　child。　　And　let　who　can　be　clever；〃　Joan　quoted。　〃Would　that　be　your　text？〃

Madge　finished　buttering　her　buns。　　〃Kant；　wasn't　it；〃　she　answered；　〃who　marvelled　chiefly　at　two　things：　　the　starry　firmament　above　him　and　the　moral　law　within　him。　　And　they're　one　and　the　same；　if　he'd　only　thought　it　out。　　It's　rather　big　to　be　good。〃

They　carried　their　tea　into　the　sitting…room。

〃Do　you　really　think　she'll　get　over　it？〃　asked　Madge。　　〃Or　is　it　one　of　those　things　one　has　to　say？〃

〃I　think　she　could；〃　answered　Joan；　〃if　she　would　pull　herself　together。　　It's　her　lack　of　will…power　that's　the　trouble。〃

Madge　did　not　reply　immediately。　　She　was　watching　the　rooks　settling　down　for　the　night　in　the　elm　trees　just　beyond　the　window。　　There　seemed　to　be　much　need　of　coming　and　going；　of　much　cawing。

〃I　met　her　pretty　often　during　those　months　that　Helen　Lavery　was　running　her　round；〃　she　said　at　length。　　〃It　always　seemed　to　me　to　have　a　touch　of　the　heroic；　that　absurd　effort　she　was　making　to　'qualify'　herself；　so　that　she　might　be　of　use　to　him。　　I　can　see　her　doing　something　quite　big；　if　she　thought　it　would　help　him。〃

The　cawing　of　the　rooks　grew　fainter。　　One　by　one　they　folded　their　wings。

Neither　spoke　for　a　while。　　Later　on；　they　talked　about　the　coming　election。　　If　the　Party　got　back；　Phillips　would　go　to　the　Board　of　Trade。　　It　would　afford　him　a　better　platform　for　the　introduction　of　his　land　scheme。

〃What　do　you　gather　is　the　general　opinion？〃　Joan　asked。　　〃That　he　will　succeed？〃

〃The　general　opinion　seems　to　be　that　his　star　is　in　the　ascendant；〃　Madge　answered　with　a　smile；　〃that　all　things　are　working　together　for　his　good。　　It's　rather　a　useful　atmosphere　to　have　about　one；　that。　　It　breeds　friendship　and　support！〃

Joan　looked　at　her　watch。　　She　had　an　article　to　finish。　　Madge　stood　on　tiptoe　and　kissed　her。

〃Don't　think　me　unsympathetic；〃　she　said。　　〃No　one　will　rejoice　more　than　I　shall　if　God　sees　fit　to　call　you　to　good　work。　　But　I　can't　help　letting　fall　my　little　tear　of　fellowship　with　the　weeping。〃

〃And　mind　your　p's　and　q's；〃　she　added。　　〃You're　in　a　difficult　position。　　And　not　all　the　eyes　watching　you　are　friendly。〃

Joan　bore　the　germ　of　worry　in　her　breast　as　she　crossed　the　Gray's　Inn　Garden。　　It　was　a　hard　law；　that　of　the　world：　　knowing　only　winners　and　losers。　　Of　course；　the　woman　was　to　be　pitied。　　No　one　could　feel　more　sorry　for　her　than　Joan　herself。　　But　what　had　Madg