a woman of thirty-第11部分

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　if　you　would　go；　I　all　but　promised　that　you　should〃

〃I　will　go。〃

There　was　something　so　penetrating；　so　significant　in　the　tones　of　Julie's　voice；　in　her　accent；　in　the　glance　that　went　with　the　words；　that　Victor；　startled　out　of　his　indifference；　stared　at　his　wife　in　astonishment。

That　was　all；　Julie　had　guessed　that　it　was　Mme。　de　Serizy　who　had　stolen　her　husband's　heart　from　her。　Her　brooding　despair　benumbed　her。　She　appeared　to　be　deeply　interested　in　the　fire。　Victor　meanwhile　still　played　with　the　fire…screen。　He　looked　bored；　like　a　man　who　has　enjoyed　himself　elsewhere；　and　brought　home　the　consequent　lassitude。　He　yawned　once　or　twice；　then　he　took　up　a　candle　in　one　hand；　and　with　the　other　languidly　sought　his　wife's　neck　for　the　usual　embrace；　but　Julie　stooped　and　received　the　good…night　kiss　upon　her　forehead；　the　formal；　loveless　grimace　seemed　hateful　to　her　at　that　moment。

As　soon　as　the　door　closed　upon　Victor；　his　wife　sank　into　a　seat。　Her　limbs　tottered　beneath　her；　she　burst　into　tears。　None　but　those　who　have　endured　the　torture　of　some　such　scene　can　fully　understand　the　anguish　that　it　means；　or　divine　the　horror　of　the　long…drawn　tragedy　arising　out　of　it。

Those　simple；　foolish　words；　the　silence　that　followed　between　the　husband　and　wife；　the　Marquis'　gesture　and　expression；　the　way　in　which　he　sat　before　the　fire；　his　attitude　as　he　made　that　futile　attempt　to　put　a　kiss　on　his　wife's　throat；all　these　things　made　up　a　dark　hour　for　Julie；　and　the　catastrophe　of　the　drama　of　her　sad　and　lonely　life。　In　her　madness　she　knelt　down　before　the　sofa；　burying　her　face　in　it　to　shut　out　everything　from　sight；　and　prayed　to　Heaven；　putting　a　new　significance　into　the　words　of　the　evening　prayer；　till　it　became　a　cry　from　the　depths　of　her　own　soul；　which　would　have　gone　to　her　husband's　heart　if　he　had　heard　it。

The　following　week　she　spent　in　deep　thought　for　her　future；　utterly　overwhelmed　by　this　new　trouble。　She　made　a　study　of　it；　trying　to　discover　a　way　to　regain　her　ascendency　over　the　Marquis；　scheming　how　to　live　long　enough　to　watch　over　her　daughter's　happiness；　yet　to　live　true　to　her　own　heart。　Then　she　made　up　her　mind。　She　would　struggle　with　her　rival。　She　would　shine　once　more　in　society。　She　would　feign　the　love　which　she　could　no　longer　feel；　she　would　captivate　her　husband's　fancy；　and　when　she　had　lured　him　into　her　power；　she　would　coquet　with　him　like　a　capricious　mistress　who　takes　delight　in　tormenting　a　lover。　This　hateful　strategy　was　the　only　possible　way　out　of　her　troubles。　In　this　way　she　would　become　mistress　of　the　situation；　she　would　prescribe　her　own　sufferings　at　her　good　pleasure；　and　reduce　them　by　enslaving　her　husband；　and　bringing　him　under　a　tyrannous　yoke。　She　felt　not　the　slightest　remorse　for　the　hard　life　which　he　should　lead。　At　a　bound　she　reached　cold；　calculating　indifferencefor　her　daughter's　sake。　She　had　gained　a　sudden　insight　into　the　treacherous；　lying　arts　of　degraded　women；　the　wiles　of　coquetry；　the　revolting　cunning　which　arouses　such　profound　hatred　in　men　at　the　mere　suspicion　of　innate　corruption　in　a　woman。

Julie's　feminine　vanity；　her　interests；　and　a　vague　desire　to　inflict　punishment；　all　wrought　unconsciously　with　the　mother's　love　within　her　to　force　her　into　a　path　where　new　sufferings　awaited　her。　But　her　nature　was　too　noble；　her　mind　too　fastidious；　and；　above　all　things；　too　open；　to　be　the　accomplice　of　these　frauds　for　very　long。　Accustomed　as　she　was　to　self…scrutiny；　at　the　first　step　in　vicefor　vice　it　wasthe　cry　of　conscience　must　inevitably　drown　the　clamor　of　the　passions　and　of　selfishness。　Indeed；　in　a　young　wife　whose　heart　is　still　pure；　whose　love　has　never　been　mated；　the　very　sentiment　of　motherhood　is　overpowered　by　modesty。　Modesty；　is　not　all　womanhood　summed　up　in　that？　But　just　now　Julie　would　not　see　any　danger；　anything　wrong；　in　her　life。

She　went　to　Mme。　de　Serizy's　concert。　Her　rival　had　expected　to　see　a　pallid；　drooping　woman。　The　Marquise　wore　rouge；　and　appeared　in　all　the　splendor　of　a　toilet　which　enhanced　her　beauty。

Mme。　de　Serizy　was　one　of　those　women　who　claim　to　exercise　a　sort　of　sway　over　fashions　and　society　in　Paris；　she　issued　her　decrees；　saw　them　received　in　her　own　circle；　and　it　seemed　to　her　that　all　the　world　obeyed　them。　She　aspired　to　epigram；　she　set　up　for　an　authority　in　matters　of　taste。　Literature；　politics；　men　and　women；　all　alike　were　submitted　to　her　censorship；　and　the　lady　herself　appeared　to　defy　the　censorship　of　others。　Her　house　was　in　every　respect　a　model　of　good　taste。

Julie　triumphed　over　the　Countess　in　her　own　salon；　filled　as　it　was　with　beautiful　women　and　women　of　fashion。　Julie's　liveliness　and　sparkling　wit　gathered　all　the　most　distinguished　men　in　the　rooms　about　her。　Her　costume　was　faultless；　for　the　despair　of　the　women；　who　one　and　all　envied　her　the　fashion　of　her　dress；　and　attributed　the　moulded　outline　of　her　bodice　to　the　genius　of　some　unknown　dressmaker；　for　women　would　rather　believe　in　miracles　worked　by　the　science　of　chiffons　than　in　the　grace　and　perfection　of　the　form　beneath。

When　Julie　went　to　the　piano　to　sing　Desdemona's　song；　the　men　in　the　rooms　flocked　about　her　to　hear　the　celebrated　voice　so　long　mute；　and　there　was　a　deep　silence。　The　Marquise　saw　the　heads　clustered　thickly　in　the　doorways；　saw　all　eyes　turned　upon　her；　and　a　sharp　thrill　of　excitement　quivered　through　her。　She　looked　for　her　husband；　gave　him　a　coquettish　side…glance；　and　it　pleased　her　to　see　that　his　vanity　was　gratified　to　no　small　degree。　In　the　joy　of　triumph　she　sang　the　first　part　of　/Al　piu　salice/。　Her　audience　was　enraptured。　Never　had　Malibran　nor　Pasta　sung　with　expression　and　intonation　so　perfect。　But　at　the　beginning　of　the　second　part　she　glanced　over　the　glistening　groups　and　sawArthur。　He　never　took　his　eyes　from　her　face。　A　quick　shudder　thrilled　through　her；　and　her　voice　faltered。　Up　hurried　Mme。　de　Serizy　from　her　place。

〃What　is　it；　dear？　Oh！　poor　little　thing！　she　is　in　such　weak　health；　I　was　so　afraid　when　I　saw　her　begin　a　piece　so　far　beyond　her　strength。〃

The　song　was　interrupted。　Julie　was　vexed。　She　had　not　courage　to　sing　any　longer；　and　submitted　to　her　rival's　treacherous　sympathy。　There　was　a　whisper　among　the　women。　The　incident　led　to　discussions；　they　guessed　that　the　struggle　had　begun　between　the　Marquise　and　Mme。　de　Serizy；　and　their　tongues　did　not　spare　the　latter。

Julie's　strange；　perturbing　presentiments　were　suddenly　realized。　Through　her　preoccupation　with　Arthur　she　had　loved　to　imagine　that　with　that　gentle；　refined　face　he　must　remain　faithful　to　his　first　love。　There　were　times　when　she　felt　proud　that　this　ideal；　pure；　and　passionate　young　love　should　have　been　hers；　the　passion　of　the　young　lover　whose　thoughts　are　all　for　her　to　whom　he　dedicates　every　moment　of　his　life；　who　blushes　as　a　woman　blushes；　thinks　as　a　woman　might　think；　forgetting　ambition；　fame；　and　fortune　in　devotion　to　his　love；　she　need　never　fear　a　rival。　All　these　things　she　had　fondly　and　idly　dreamed　of　Arthur；　now　all　at　once　it　seemed　to　her　that　her　dream　had　come　true。　In　the　young　Englishman's　half…feminine　face　she　read　the　same　deep　thoughts；　the　same　pensive　melancholy；　the　same　passive　acquiescence　in　a　painful　lot；　and　an　endurance　like　her　own。　She　saw　herself　in　him。　Trouble　and　sadness　are　the　most　eloquent　of　love's　interpreters；　and　response　is　marvelously　swift　between　two　suffering　creatures；　for　in　them　the　powers　of　intuition　and　of　assimilation　of　facts　and　ideas　are　well…nigh　unerring　and　perfect。　So　with　the　violence　of　the　shock　the　Marquise's　eyes　were　opened　to　the　whole　extent　of　the　future　danger。　She　was　only　too　glad　to　find　a　pretext　for　her　nervousness　in　her　chronic　ill…health；　and　willingly　submitted　to　be　overwhelmed　by　Mme。　de　Serizy's　insidious　compassion。

That　incident　of　the　song　caused　talk　and　discussion　which　differed　with　the　various　groups。　Some　pitied　Julie's　fate；　and　regretted　that　such　a　remarkable　woman　was　lost　to　society；　others　fell　to　wondering　what　the　cause　of　her　ill…health　and　seclusion　could　be。

〃Well；　now；　my　dear　Ronquerolles；〃　said　the　Marquis；　addressing　Mme。　de　Serizy's　brother；　〃you　used　to　envy　me　my　good　fortune；　and　you　used　to　blame　me　for　my　infidelities。　Pshaw；　you　would　not　find　much　to　envy　in　my　lot；　if；　like　me；　you　had　a　pretty　wife　so　fragile　that　for　the　past　two　years　you　might　not　so　much　as　kiss　her　hand　for　fear　of　damaging　her。　Do　not　you　encumber　yourself　with　one　of　those　fragile　ornaments；　only　fit　to　put　in　a　glass　case；　so　brittle　and　so　costly　that　you　are　always　obliged　to　be　careful　of　them。　They　tell　me　that　you　are　afraid　of　snow　or　wet　for　that　fine　horse　of　yours；　how　often　do　you　ride　him？　That　is　just　my　own　case。　It　is　true　that　my　wife　gives　me　no　ground　for　jealousy；　but　my　marriage　is　purely　ornamental　business；　if　you　think　that　I　am　a　married　man；　you　are　grossly　mistaken。　So　there　is　some　excuse　for　my　unfaithfulness。　I　should　dearly　like　to　know　what　you　gentlemen　who　laugh　at　me　would　do　in　my　place。　Not　many　men　would　be　so　considerate　as　I　am。　I　am　sure；〃　（here　he　lowered　his　voice）　〃that　Mm