a woman of thirty-第23部分

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king　of　the　eternal　theme　in　France　and　all　the　world　overlove；　sentiment；　and　women。

〃We　are　bond…slaves。〃

〃You　are　queens。〃

This　was　the　gist　and　substance　of　all　the　more　or　less　ingenious　discourse　between　Charles　and　the　Marquise；　as　of　all　such　discourses　past；　present；　and　to　come。　Allow　a　certain　space　of　time；　and　the　two　formulas　shall　begin　to　mean　〃Love　me；〃　and　〃I　will　love　you。〃

〃Madame；〃　Charles　de　Vandenesse　exclaimed　under　his　breath；　〃you　have　made　me　bitterly　regret　that　I　am　leaving　Paris。　In　Italy　I　certainly　shall　not　pass　hours　in　intellectual　enjoyment　such　as　this　has　been。〃

〃Perhaps；　monsieur；　you　will　find　happiness；　and　happiness　is　worth　more　than　all　the　brilliant　things；　true　and　false；　that　are　said　every　evening　in　Paris。〃

Before　Charles　took　leave；　he　asked　permission　to　pay　a　farewell　call　on　the　Marquise　d'Aiglemont；　and　very　lucky　did　he　feel　himself　when　the　form　of　words　in　which　he　expressed　himself　for　once　was　used　in　all　sincerity；　and　that　night；　and　all　day　long　on　the　morrow；　he　could　not　put　the　thought　of　the　Marquise　out　of　his　mind。

At　times　he　wondered　why　she　had　singled　him　out；　what　she　had　meant　when　she　asked　him　to　come　to　see　her；　and　thought　supplied　an　inexhaustible　commentary。　Again　it　seemed　to　him　that　he　had　discovered　the　motives　of　her　curiosity；　and　he　grew　intoxicated　with　hope　or　frigidly　sober　with　each　new　construction　put　upon　that　piece　of　commonplace　civility。　Sometimes　it　meant　everything；　sometimes　nothing。　He　made　up　his　mind　at　last　that　he　would　not　yield　to　this　inclination；　andwent　to　call　on　Mme。　d'Aiglemont。

There　are　thoughts　which　determine　our　conduct；　while　we　do　not　so　much　as　suspect　their　existence。　If　at　first　sight　this　assertion　appears　to　be　less　a　truth　than　a　paradox；　let　any　candid　inquirer　look　into　his　own　life　and　he　shall　find　abundant　confirmation　therein。　Charles　went　to　Mme。　d'Aiglemont；　and　so　obeyed　one　of　these　latent；　pre…existent　germs　of　thought；　of　which　our　experience　and　our　intellectual　gains　and　achievements　are　but　later　and　tangible　developments。

For　a　young　man　a　woman　of　thirty　has　irresistible　attractions。　There　is　nothing　more　natural；　nothing　better　established；　no　human　tie　of　stouter　tissue　than　the　heart…deep　attachment　between　such　a　woman　as　the　Marquise　d'Aiglemont　and　such　a　man　as　Charles　de　Vandenesse。　You　can　see　examples　of　it　every　day　in　the　world。　A　girl；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　has　too　many　young　illusions；　she　is　too　inexperienced；　the　instinct　of　sex　counts　for　too　much　in　her　love　for　a　young　man　to　feel　flattered　by　it。　A　woman　of　thirty　knows　all　that　is　involved　in　the　self…surrender　to　be　made。　Among　the　impulses　of　the　first；　put　curiosity　and　other　motives　than　love；　the　second　acts　with　integrity　of　sentiment。　The　first　yields；　the　second　makes　deliberate　choice。　Is　not　that　choice　in　itself　an　immense　flattery？　A　woman　armed　with　experience；　forewarned　by　knowledge；　almost　always　dearly　bought；　seems　to　give　more　than　herself；　while　the　inexperienced　and　credulous　girl；　unable　to　draw　comparisons　for　lack　of　knowledge；　can　appreciate　nothing　at　its　just　worth。　She　accepts　love　and　ponders　it。　A　woman　is　a　counselor　and　a　guide　at　an　age　when　we　love　to　be　guided　and　obedience　is　delight；　while　a　girl　would　fain　learn　all　things；　meeting　us　with　a　girl's　/naivete/　instead　of　a　woman's　tenderness。　She　affords　a　single　triumph；　with　a　woman　there　is　resistance　upon　resistance　to　overcome；　she　has　but　joy　and　tears；　a　woman　has　rapture　and　remorse。

A　girl　cannot　play　the　part　of　a　mistress　unless　she　is　so　corrupt　that　we　turn　from　her　with　loathing；　a　woman　has　a　thousand　ways　of　preserving　her　power　and　her　dignity；　she　has　risked　so　much　for　love；　that　she　must　bid　him　pass　through　his　myriad　transformations；　while　her　too　submissive　rival　gives　a　sense　of　too　serene　security　which　palls。　If　the　one　sacrifices　her　maidenly　pride；　the　other　immolates　the　honor　of　a　whole　family。　A　girl's　coquetry　is　of　the　simplest；　she　thinks　that　all　is　said　when　the　veil　is　laid　aside；　a　woman's　coquetry　is　endless；　she　shrouds　herself　in　veil　after　veil；　she　satisfies　every　demand　of　man's　vanity；　the　novice　responds　but　to　one。

And　there　are　terrors；　fears；　and　hesitationstrouble　and　storm　in　the　love　of　a　woman　of　thirty　years；　never　to　be　found　in　a　young　girl's　love。　At　thirty　years　a　woman　asks　her　lover　to　give　her　back　the　esteem　she　has　forfeited　for　his　sake；　she　lives　only　for　him；　her　thoughts　are　full　of　his　future；　he　must　have　a　great　career；　she　bids　him　make　it　glorious；　she　can　obey；　entreat；　command；　humble　herself；　or　rise　in　pride；　times　without　number　she　brings　comfort　when　a　young　girl　can　only　make　moan。　And　with　all　the　advantages　of　her　position；　the　woman　of　thirty　can　be　a　girl　again；　for　she　can　play　all　parts；　assume　a　girl's　bashfulness；　and　grow　the　fairer　even　for　a　mischance。

Between　these　two　feminine　types　lies　the　immeasurable　difference　which　separates　the　foreseen　from　the　unforeseen；　strength　from　weakness。　The　woman　of　thirty　satisfies　every　requirement；　the　young　girl　must　satisfy　none；　under　penalty　of　ceasing　to　be　a　young　girl。　Such　ideas　as　these；　developing　in　a　young　man's　mind；　help　to　strengthen　the　strongest　of　all　passions；　a　passion　in　which　all　spontaneous　and　natural　feeling　is　blended　with　the　artificial　sentiment　created　by　conventional　manners。

The　most　important　and　decisive　step　in　a　woman's　life　is　the　very　one　that　she　invariably　regards　as　the　most　insignificant。　After　her　marriage　she　is　no　longer　her　own　mistress；　she　is　the　queen　and　the　bond…slave　of　the　domestic　hearth。　The　sanctity　of　womanhood　is　incompatible　with　social　liberty　and　social　claims；　and　for　a　woman　emancipation　means　corruption。　If　you　give　a　stranger　the　right　of　entry　into　the　sanctuary　of　home；　do　you　not　put　yourself　at　his　mercy？　How　then　if　she　herself　bids　him　enter　it？　Is　not　this　an　offence；　or；　to　speak　more　accurately；　a　first　step　towards　an　offence？　You　must　either　accept　this　theory　with　all　its　consequences；　or　absolve　illicit　passion。　French　society　hitherto　has　chosen　the　third　and　middle　course　of　looking　on　and　laughing　when　offences　come；　apparently　upon　the　Spartan　principle　of　condoning　the　theft　and　punishing　clumsiness。　And　this　system；　it　may　be；　is　a　very　wise　one。　'Tis　a　most　appalling　punishment　to　have　all　your　neighbors　pointing　the　finger　of　scorn　at　you；　a　punishment　that　a　woman　feels　in　her　very　heart。　Women　are　tenacious；　and　all　of　them　should　be　tenacious　of　respect；　without　esteem　they　cannot　exist；　esteem　is　the　first　demand　that　they　make　of　love。　The　most　corrupt　among　them　feels　that　she　must；　in　the　first　place；　pledge　the　future　to　buy　absolution　for　the　past；　and　strives　to　make　her　lover　understand　that　only　for　irresistible　bliss　can　she　barter　the　respect　which　the　world　henceforth　will　refuse　to　her。

Some　such　reflections　cross　the　mind　of　any　woman　who　for　the　first　time　and　alone　receives　a　visit　from　a　young　man；　and　this　especially　when；　like　Charles　de　Vandenesse；　the　visitor　is　handsome　or　clever。　And　similarly　there　are　not　many　young　men　who　would　fail　to　base　some　secret　wish　on　one　of　the　thousand　and　one　ideas　which　justify　the　instinct　that　attracts　them　to　a　beautiful；　witty；　and　unhappy　woman　like　the　Marquise　d'Aiglemont。

Mme。　d'Aiglemont；　therefore；　felt　troubled　when　M。　de　Vandenesse　was　announced；　and　as　for　him；　he　was　almost　confused　in　spite　of　the　assurance　which　is　like　a　matter　of　costume　for　a　diplomatist。　But　not　for　long。　The　Marquise　took　refuge　at　once　in　the　friendliness　of　manner　which　women　use　as　a　defence　against　the　misinterpretations　of　fatuity；　a　manner　which　admits　of　no　afterthought；　while　it　paves　the　way　to　sentiment　（to　make　use　of　a　figure　of　speech）；　tempering　the　transition　through　the　ordinary　forms　of　politeness。　In　this　ambiguous　position；　where　the　four　roads　leading　respectively　to　Indifference；　Respect；　Wonder；　and　Passion　meet；　a　woman　may　stay　as　long　as　she　pleases；　but　only　at　thirty　years　does　she　understand　all　the　possibilities　of　the　situation。　Laughter；　tenderness；　and　jest　are　all　permitted　to　her　at　the　crossing　of　the　ways；　she　has　acquired　the　tact　by　which　she　finds　all　the　responsive　chords　in　a　man's　nature；　and　skill　in　judging　the　sounds　which　she　draws　forth。　Her　silence　is　as　dangerous　as　her　speech。　You　will　never　read　her　at　that　age；　nor　discover　if　she　is　frank　or　false；　nor　how　far　she　is　serious　in　her　admissions　or　merely　laughing　at　you。　She　gives　you　the　right　to　engage　in　a　game　of　fence　with　her；　and　suddenly　by　a　glance；　a　gesture　of　proved　potency；　she　closes　the　combat　and　turns　from　you　with　your　secret　in　her　keeping；　free　to　offer　you　up　in　a　jest；　free　to　interest　herself　in　you；　safe　alike　in　her　weakness　and　your　strength。

Although　the　Marquise　d'Aiglemont　took　up　her　position　upon　this　neutral　ground　during　the　first　interview；　she　knew　how　to　preserve　a　high　womanly　dignity。　The　sorrows　of　which　she　never　spoke　seemed　to　hang　over　her　assumed　gaiety　like　a　light　cloud　obscuring　the　sun。　When　Vandenesse　went　out；　after　a　conversation　which　he　had　enjoyed　more　than　he　had　thought　possible；　he