we two-第101部分

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　day　lost；　the　treat　would　be　lost。　　But　the　evening　before；　when　she　was　on　the　very　tiptoe　of　expectation；　a　celebrated　action　for　libel　had　come　to　an　end　much　sooner　than　was　expected；　and　when　her　father　returned　in　the　evening　he　had　to　tell　her　that　his　case　was　to　come　on　the　next　day；　and　that　he　could　not　possibly　take　her。　　Even　now　she　could　recall　the　bitterness　of　the　disappointment；　but　not　so　vividly　as　the　look　in　her　father's　face　as　he　lifted　her　off　the　floor　where　she　had　thrown　herself　in　the　abandonment　of　her　grief。　　He　had　not　said　a　word　then　about　the　enormity　of　crying；　he　had　just　held　her　closely　in　his　arms；　feeling　the　disappointment　a　thousand　times　more　than　she　felt　it　herself；　and　fully　realizing　that　the　loss　of　such　a　long…looked…for　happiness　was　to　a　child　what　the　loss　of　thousands　of　pounds　would　be　to　a　man。　　He　had　been　patient　with　her　　though　she　had　entirely　failed　to　see　why　he　could　not　put　off　the　case　just　for　that　day。

〃You'll　understand　one　day；　little　one；〃　he　had　said；　〃and　be　glad　that　you　have　had　your　share　of　pain　in　a　day　that　will　advance　the　cause　of　liberty。〃

She　remembered　protesting　that　that　was　impossible；　that　she　should　always　be　miserable；　at　which　he　had　only　smiled。

Then　it　came　to　Erica　that　the　life　upon　earth　was；　after　all；　as　compared　with　the　eternal　life；　what　the　day　is　in　the　life　of　a　child。　　It　seemed　everything　at　the　time；　but　was　in　truth　such　a　fragment。　　And　as　she　lay　there　in　the　immeasurably　greater　agony　of　later　life；　once　more　sobbing：　〃I　had　hoped；　I　had　planned；　this　is　more　than　I　can　bear！〃　a　Comforter　infinitely　grater；　a　Father　whose　love　was　infinitely　stronger；　drew　her　so　near　that　the　word　〃near〃　was　but　a　mockery；　and　told　her；　as　the　earthly　father　had　told　her　with　such　perfect　truth：　〃One　day　you　will　understand；　child；　one　day　you　will　be　glad　to　have　shared　the　pain！〃

In　the　next　room　there　was　for　some　time　quiet。　　Poor　Tom；　heavy　with　grief　and　weariness；　fell　asleep　beside　the　fire；　Raeburn　was　for　the　most　part　very　still　as　if　wrapped　in　thought。　　At　length　a　heavy　sigh　made　Brian　ask　if　he　were　in　pain。

〃Pain　of　mind；〃　he　said；　〃not　of　body。　　Don't　misunderstand　me；〃　he　said　after　a　pause；　with　the　natural　fear　least　Brian　should　fancy　his　secularism　failed　him　at　the　near　approach　of　death。　　〃For　myself　I　am　content；　I　have　had　a　very　full　life；　and　I　have　tried　always　yes；　I　think　I　may　say　alwaysto　work　entirely　for　the　good　of　Humanity。　　But　I　am　wretched　about　Erica。　　I　do　not　see　how　the　home　can　be　a　very　happy　one　for　her　when　I　am　gone。〃

For　a　minute　Brian　hesitated；　but　it　seemed　to　him　when　he　thought　out　the　matter；　that　a　father　so　loving　as　Raeburn　would　find　no　jealousy　at　the　thought　that　the　love　he　had　deemed　exclusively　his　own　might；　after　all；　have　been　given　to　another。

〃I　do　not　know　whether　I　am　right　to　tell　you；〃　he　said。　　〃Would　it　make　you　happier　to　know　that　I　love　Erica　that　I　have　loved　her　for　nearly　nine　years？〃

Raeburn　gave　an　ejaculation　of　astonishment。　　There　was　a　long　silence；　for　the　idea；　once　suggested　to　him；　he　began　to　see　what　a　likely　thing　it　was　and　to　wonder　that　he　had　not　thought　of　it　before。

〃I　think　you　are　well　suited　to　each　other；〃　he　said　at　last。　　〃Now　I　understand　your　visit　to　Florence。　　What　took　you　away　again　so　suddenly？〃

Brian　told　him　all　about　the　day　at　Fiesole。　　He　seemed　greatly　touched；　all　the　little　proofs　and　coincidences　which　had　never　struck　him　at　the　time　were　so　plain　now。　　They　were　still　discussing　it　when；　at　about　five　o'clock；　Erica　returned。　　She　was　pale　and　sad；　but　the　worn；　harassed；　miserable　look　had　quite　gone。　　It　was　a　strange　time　and　place　for　a　betrothal。

〃Brian　has　been　telling　me　about　the　day　at　Fiesole；〃　said　Raeburn；　letting　his　weak；　nerveless　hands　play　about　in　her　hair　as　she　knelt　beside　the　bed。　　〃You　have　been　a　leal　bairn　to　me；　Eric；　I　don't　think　I　could　have　spared　you　then　even　though　Brian　so　well　deserved　you。　　But　now　it　makes　me　very　happy　to　leave　you　to　him；　it　takes　away　my　only　care。〃

Erica　had　colored　faintly；　but　there　was　an　absence　of　responsiveness　in　her　manner　which　troubled　Raeburn。

〃You　do　still　feel　as　you　did　at　Fiesole？〃　he　asked。　　〃You　are　sure　of　your　own　mind？　　You　think　you　will　be　happy？〃

〃I　love　Brian；〃　she　said　in　a　low　voice。　　〃But；　oh；　I　can't　think　now　about　being　happy！〃　　She　broke　off　suddenly　and　hid　her　face　in　the　bed　clothes。

There　was　silence　in　the　room。　　In　a　minute　she　raised　herself　and　turned　to　Brian　who　stood　beside　her。

〃You　will　understand；〃　she　said；　looking　right　into　his　eyes。　　〃There　is　only　one　thing　that　I　can　feel　just　now。　　You　do　understand；　I　know。〃

With　a　sudden　impulse　she　threw　her　arms　round　his　neck　and　kissed　him。

And　Brian　did　understand。　　He　knew；　too；　that　she　wanted　to　have　her　father　to　herself。　　Even　in　the　very　fulfillment　of　his　desire　he　was　obliged　to　stand　aside；　obliged　even　yet　to　be　patient。　　Never　surely　had　an　impulsive；　impetuous　man　a　longer　training。

When　he　had　gone　Raeburn　talked　for　some　time　of　Erica's　future；　talked　for　so　long；　indeed；　that　she　grew　impatient。　　How　trifling　now　seemed　the　sacrifice　she　had　made　at　Fiesole　to　which　he　kept　on　referring。

〃Oh；　why　do　you　waste　the　time　in　talking　of　me？〃　she　said　at　last。

〃Why？〃　he　said　smiling。　　〃Because　you　are　my　bairn　of　what　else　should　I　speak　or　think？　　For　myself；　I　am　very　content；　dear；　though　I　should　have　liked　a　few　more　years　of　work。　　It　was　not　to　be；　you　see；　and；　in　the　end；　no　doubt　this　will　work　good　to　the　cause　of　〃　he　broke　off；　unwilling　to　pain　her。

〃Ah；　child！〃　he　said　after　a　pause；　〃How　miserable　you　and　I　might　have　been　for　these　two　years　if　we　had　not　loved　each　other。　　You　are　not　to　think；　little　one；　that　I　have　not　known　what　your　wishes　have　been　for　me。　　You；　and　Brian；　and　Osmond；　and　of　late　that　noble　fellow　Farrant；　have　often　made　me　see　that　Christianity　need　not　necessarily　warp　the　intellect　and　cripple　the　life。　　I　believe　that　for　you；　and　such　as　you；　the　system　is　not　rooted　in　selfishness。　　But；　dear；　you　are　but　the　exceptions；　the　rare　exceptions。　　I　know　that　you　have　wished　with　all　your　heart　that　I　should　come　to　think　as　you　do；　while　I　have　been　wishing　you　back　into　the　ranks　of　secularism。　　Well！　　It　wasn't　to　be。　　We　each　of　us　lost　our　wish。　　But　there　is　this　left；　that　we　each　know　the　other　to　be　honest；　each　deem　it　a　case　of　honest　mistake。　　I've　felt　that　all　along。　　We've　a　common　love　of　truth　and　a　common　love　of　humanity。　　Oh；　my　child！　　Spite　of　all　the　creeds；　we　are　very　near　to　each　other！〃

〃Very　near；〃　she　whispered。　　And　words　which　Charles　Osmond　had　spoken　years　ago　returned　to　her　memory。　　〃I　think　death　will　be　your　gate　of　life。　　You　will　wake　up　and　exclaim：　〃Who'd　have　thought　it？〃

After　all；　death　would　in　a　sense　make　them　yet　nearer！　　But　human　nature　is　weak；　and　it　is　hard　for　us　to　realize　the　Unseen。　　She　could　not　then　feel　that　it　was　anything　but　hard；　bitter；　heart…　breaking　that　he　should　be　leaving　her　in　this　way。

The　pain　had　now　almost　entirely　ceased；　and　Raeburn；　though　very　restless；　was　better　able　to　talk　than　on　the　previous　day。　　He　asked　for　the　first　time　what　was　passing　in　the　world；　showed　special　interest　in　the　accounts　of　the　late　colliery　accident；　and　was　greatly　touched　by　the　gallant　efforts　of　the　rescuers　who　had　to　some　extent　been　successful。　　He　insisted；　too；　on　hearing　what　the　various　papers　had　to　say　about　his　own　case；　listening　sometimes　with　a　quiet　smile；　sometimes　with　a　gleam　of　anger　in　his　eyes。　　After　a　very　abusive　article；　which　he　had　specially　desired　to　hear；　he　leaned　back　with　an　air　of　weariness。

〃I'm　rather　tired　of　this　sort　of　thing！〃　he　said　with　a　sigh。　　〃What　will　the　'Herald'　do　when　it　no　longer　has　me　to　abuse？〃

Of　Drosser　and　of　the　events　of　that　Sunday　evening　he　spoke　strangely　little。　　What　he　did　say　was；　for　the　most　part；　said　to　Professor　Gosse。

〃You　say　I　was　rash　to　go　alone；〃　he　replied　when　the　professor　had　opened　the　subject。　　〃Well；　that　may　be。　　It　is　not；　perhaps；　the　first　time　that　in　personal　matters　I've　been　lacking　in　due　caution。　　But　I　thought　it　would　prevent　a　riot。　　I　still　think　it　did　so。〃

〃And　what　is　your　feeling　about　the　whole　matter？〃　asked　the　professor。　　〃Do　you　forgive　Drosser　for　having　given　you　this　mortal　injury？〃

〃One　must　bow　to　necessity；〃　said　Raeburn　quietly。　　〃When　you　speak　of　forgiving　I　don't　quite　understand　you；　but　I　don't　intend　to　hand　down　a　legacy　of　revenge　to　my　successors。　　The　law　will　duly　punish　the　man；　and　future　atheists　will　reap　the　benefit　of　my　death。　　There　is；　after　all；　you　know；　a　certain　satisfaction　in　feeling　that　I　died　as　I　have　lived；　in　defending　the　right　of　free　speech。　　I　can't　say　that　I　could　not　have　wished　that　Drosser　had　made　an　end　of　me　at　nine…and…seventy　rather　than　at　nine…and…forty。　　I　shall　live　on　in　their　hearts；　and　that　is　a　glorious　immortality！　　The　only　immortality　I　have　ever　looked　for。〃

In　the　afternoon　to　the　astonishment　of　all；　Mr。　Fane…Smith　came　over　from　Greyshot；　horrified　to　hear　that　the　man　who　he　had　once　treated