we two-第12部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！

ould　go　to　Paris。　　Here　was　a　way　in　which；　free　of　all　expense；　she　might　finish　her　education；　might　practically　earn　her　living！　　In　this　way　she　might　indeed　help　to　lighten　the　load；　but　it　would　be　at　the　cost　of　absolute　self…sacrifice。　　She　must　leave　home；　and　father　and　mother；　and　country！

Erica　was　not　exactly　selfish；　but　she　was　very　young。　　The　thought　of　the　voluntary　sacrifice　seemed　quite　unbearable；　she　could　not　make　up　her　mind　to　it。

〃Why　should　I　give　up　all　this？　　Why　should　prejudice　and　bigotry　spoil　my　whole　life？〃　she　thought；　beginning　to　pace　up　and　down　the　room　with　quick；　agitated　steps。　　〃Why　should　we　suffer　because　that　wretch　has　gone　bankrupt？　　It　is　unfair；　unjust；　it　can't　be　right。〃

She　leaned　her　arms　on　the　window　sill　and　looked　out　into　the　silent　night。　　The　stars　were　shining　peacefully　enough；　looking　down　on　this　world　of　strife　and　struggle；　Erica　grew　a　little　calmer　as　she　looked；　Nature；　with　its　majesty　of　calmness；　seemed　to　quiet　her　troubled　heart　and　〃sweep　gradual…gospels　in。〃

From　some　recess　of　memory　there　came　to　her　some　half…enigmatical　words；　they　had　been　quoted　by　Charles　Osmond　in　his　speech；　but　she　did　not　remember　where　she　had　heard　them；　only　they　began　to　ring　in　her　ears　now：

〃There　is　no　gain　except　by　loss；　There　is　no　life　except　by　death；　Nor　glory　but　by　bearing　shame；　Nor　justice　but　by　taking　blame。〃

She　did　not　altogether　understand　the　verse；　but　there　was　a　truth　in　it　which　could　hardly　fail　to　come　home　to　one　who　knew　what　persecution　meant。　　What　if　the　very　blame　and　injustice　of　the　present　brought　in　the　future　reign　of　justice！　　She　seemed　to　hear　her　father's　voice　saying　again；　〃We　must　bear　up；　child；　injustice　won't　triumph　in　the　end。〃

〃There　is　no　gain　except　by　loss！〃

What　if　her　loss　of　home　and　friends　brought　gain　to　the　world！　　That　was　a　thought　which　brought　a　glow　of　happiness　to　her　even　in　the　midst　of　her　pain。　　There　was；　after　all；　much　of　the　highest　Christianity　about　her；　though　she　would　have　been　very　much　vexed　if　any　one　had　told　her　so；　because　Christianity　meant　to　her　narrow…mindedness　instead　of　brotherly　love。　　However　it　might　be；　there　was　no　denying　that　the　child　of　the　great　teacher　of　atheism　had　grasped　the　true　meaning　of　life；　had　grasped　it；　and　was　prepared　to　act　on　it　too。　　She　had　always　lived　with　those　who　were　ready　to　spend　all　in　the　promotion　of　the　general　good；　and　all　that　was　true；　all　that　was　noble　in　her　creed；　all　that　had　filled　her　with　admiration　in　the　lives　of　those　she　loved；　came　to　her　aid　now。

She　went　softly　down　the　dark　staircase　to　Raeburn's　study；　it　was　late；　and；　anxious　not　to　disturb　the　rest　of　the　house；　she　opened　the　door　noiselessly　and　crept　in。　　Her　father　was　sitting　at　his　desk　writing；　he　looked　very　stern；　but　there　was　a　sort　of　grandeur　about　his　rugged　face。　　He　was　absorbed　in　his　work　and　did　not　hear　her；　and　for　a　minute　she　stood　quite　still　watching　him；　realizing　with　pain　and　yet　with　a　happy　pride　how　greatly　she　loved　him。　　Her　heart　beat　fast　at　the　thought　of　helping　him；　lightening　his　load　even　a　little。

〃Father；〃　she　said；　softly。

Raeburn　was　the　sort　of　a　man　who　could　not　be　startled；　but　he　looked　up　quickly；　apparently　returning　from　some　speculative　region　with　a　slight　effort。　　He　was　the　most　practical　of　men；　and　yet　for　a　minute　he　felt　as　if　he　were　living　in　a　dream；　for　Erica　stood　beside　him；　pale　and　beautiful；　with　a　sort　of　heroic　light　about　her　whole　face　which　transformed　her　from　a　merry　child　to　a　high…souled　woman。　　Instinctively　he　rose　to　speak　to　her。

〃I　will　not　disturb　you　for　more　than　a　minute；　father；〃　she　said；　〃it　is　only　that　I　have　thought　of　a　way　in　which　I　think　I　could　help　you　if　you　would　let　me。〃

〃Well；　dear；　what　is　it？〃　said　Raeburn；　still　watching　half　dreamily　the　exceeding　beauty　of　the　face　before　him。　　Yet　an　undefined　sense　of　dread　chilled　his　heart。　　Was　anything　too　hard　or　high　for　her　to　propose？　　He　listened　without　a　word　to　her　account　of　M。　Noirol's　　Parisian　scheme；　to　her　voluntary　suggestion　that　she　should　go　into　exile　for　two　years。　　At　the　end　he　merely　put　a　brief　question。〃Are　you　ready　to　bear　two　years　of　　loneliness？〃

〃I　am　ready　to　help　you；〃　she　said；　with　a　little　quiver　in　her　voice　and　a　cloud　of　pain　in　her　eyes。

Raeburn　turned　away　from　her　and　began　to　pace　up　and　down　the　little　room；　his　eyes　not　altogether　free　from　tears；　for；　　pachydermatous　as　he　was　accounted　by　his　enemies；　this　man　was　very　tender　over　his　child；　he　could　hardly　endure　to　see　her　pain。　　Yet　after　all；　though　she　had　given　him　a　sharp　pang；　she　had　brought　him　happiness　which　any　father　might　envy。　　He　came　back　to　her；　his　stern　face　inexpressibly　softened。

〃And　I　am　ready　to　be　helped；　my　child；　it　shall　be　as　you　say。〃

There　was　something　in　his　voice　and　in　the　gentle　acceptance　of　help　from　one　so　strong　and　self…reliant　which　touched　Erica　more　than　any　praise　or　demonstrative　thanks　could　have　done。　　They　were　going　to　work　together；　he　had　promised　that　she　should　fight　side　by　side　with　him。

〃Lawsuits　may　ruin　us；〃　said　Raeburn；　〃but；　after　all；　the　evil　has　a　way　of　helping　out　the　good。〃　　He　put　his　arm　round　her　and　kissed　her。　　〃You　have　taught　me；　little　one；　how　powerless　and　weak　are　these　petty　persecutions。　　They　can　only　prick　and　sting　us！　　Nothing　can　really　hurt　us　while　we　love　the　truth　and　love　each　other。〃

That　was　the　happiest　moment　Erica　had　ever　known；　already　her　loss　had　brought　a　rapturous　gain。

〃I　shall　never　go　to　sleep　tonight；〃　she　said。　　〃Let　me　help　you　with　your　letters。〃

Raeburn　demurred　a　little；　but　yielded　to　her　entreaties；　and　for　the　next　two　hours　the　father　and　daughter　worked　in　silence。　　The　bitterness　which　had　lurked　in　the　earlier　part　of　the　pamphlet　that　Raeburn　had　in　hand　was　quite　lacking　in　its　close；　the　writer　had　somehow　been　lifted　into　a　higher；　purer　atmosphere；　and　if　his　pen　flew　less　rapidly　over　the　paper；　it　at　any　rate　wrote　words　which　would　long　outlive　the　mere　overflow　of　an　angry　heart。

Coming　back　to　the　world　of　realities　at　last　somewhere　in　the　small　hours；　he　found　his　fire　out；　a　goodly　pile　of　letters　ready　for　his　signature；　and　his　little　amanuensis　fast　asleep　in　her　chair。　　Reproaching　himself　for　having　allowed　her　to　sit　up；　he　took　her　in　his　strong　arms　as　though　she　had　been　a　mere　baby；　and　carried　her　up　to　her　room　so　gently　that　she　never　woke。　　The　next　morning　she　found　herself　so　swathed　in　plaids　and　rugs　and　blankets　that　she　could　hardly　move；　and；　in　spite　of　a　bad　headache；　could　not　help　beginning　the　day　with　a　hearty　laugh。

Raeburn　was　not　a　man　who　ever　let　the　grass　grow　under　his　feet；　his　decisions　were　made　with　thought；　but　with　very　rapid　thought；　and　his　action　was　always　prompt。　　His　case　excited　a　good　deal　of　attention；　but　long　before　the　newspapers　had　ceased　to　wage　war　either　for　or　against　him；　long　before　the　weekly　journals　had　ceased　to　teem　with　letters　relating　to　the　lawsuit；　he　had　formed　his　plans　for　the　future。　　His　home　was　to　be　completely　broken　up；　Erica　was　to　go　to　Paris；　his　wife　was　to　live　with　his　sister；　Mrs。　Craigie；　and　her　son；　Tom；　who　had　agreed　to　keep　on　the　lodgings　in　Guilford　Terrace；　while　for　himself　he　had　mapped　out　such　a　programme　of　work　as　could　only　have　been　undertaken　by　a　man　of　〃Titanic　energy〃　and　〃Herculean　strength；〃　epithets　which　even　the　hostile　press　invariably　bestowed　on　him。　　How　great　the　sacrifice　was　to　him　few　people　knew。　　As　we　have　said　before；　the　world　regarded　him　as　a　target；　and　would　hardly　have　believed　that　he　was　in　reality　a　man　of　the　gentlest　tastes；　as　fond　of　his　home　as　any　man　in　England；　a　faithful　friend　and　a　devoted　father；　and　perhaps　all　the　more　dependent　on　the　sympathies　of　his　own　circle　because　of　the　bitter　hostility　he　encountered　from　other　quarters。　　But　he　made　his　plans　resolutely；　and　said　very　little　about　them　either　one　way　or　the　other；　sometimes　even　checking　Erica　when　she　grumbled　for　him；　or　gave　vent　to　her　indignation　with　regard　to　the　defendant。

〃We　work　for　freedom；　little　one；〃　he　used　to　say；　〃and　it　is　an　honor　to　suffer　in　the　cause　of　liberty。〃

〃But　every　one　says　you　will　kill　yourself　with　overwork；〃　said　Erica；　〃and　especially　when　you　are　in　America。〃

'〃They　don't　know　what　stuff　I'm　made　of；〃　said　Raeburn；　〃and；　even　if　it　should　use　me　up；　what　then？　　It's　better　to　wear　out　than　to　rust　out；　as　a　wise　man　once　remarked。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Erica；　rather　faintly。

〃But　I've　no　intention　of　wearing　out　just　yet；〃　said　Raeburn；　cheerfully。　　〃You　need　not　be　afraid；　little　son　Eric；　and；　if　at　the　end　of　those　two　years　you　do　come　back　to　find　me　gray　and　wrinkled；　what　will　that　matter　so　long　as　we　are　free　once　more。　　There's　a　good　time　coming；　we'll　have　the　coziest　little　home　in　London　yet。〃

〃With　a　garden　for　you　to　work　in；〃　said　Erica；　brightening　up　like　a　child　at　the　castle　in　the　air。　　〃And　we'll　keep　lots　of　animals；　and　never　bother　again　about　money　all　our　lives。〃

Raeburn　smiled　at　her　ides　of　felicityno　cares；　and　plenty　of　dogs　and　cats！　　He　did　not　antic