we two-第42部分

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controversial　topics　from　his　mind。　　He　asked　no　single　question　relating　to　the　work　or　to　business　of　any　kind；　but　gave　himself　up　to　the　enjoyment　of　a　much…needed　rest　and　relaxation。　　He　seemed　in　excellent　spirits；　and　Erica　herself　would　have　been　rapturously　happy　if　she　had　not　been　haunted　by　the　thought　of　the　pain　that　awaited　him。　　She　knew　that　this　was　the　last　evening　she　and　her　father　should　ever　spend　together　in　the　old　perfect　confidence；　division　the　most　painful　of　all　divisions　lay　before　them。

The　next　day　she　was　left　to　herself。　　She　would　not　go　to　the　old　gray…towered　church；　though　as　an　atheist　she　had　gone　to　one　or　two　churches　to　look　and　listen；　she　felt　that　she　could　not　honorably　go　as　a　worshiper　till　she　had　spoken　to　her　father。　　So　she　wandered　about　on　the　shore；　and　in　the　restful　quiet　learned　more　and　grew　stronger；　and　conquered　the　dread　of　the　morrow。　　She　did　not　see　her　father　again　that　day　for　he　could　not　get　back　from　Helmstone　till　a　late　train；　and　she　had　promised　not　to　sit　up　for　him。

The　morning　of　her　twenty…third　birthday　was　bright　and　sunshiny；　she　had　slept　well；　but　awoke　with　the　oppressive　consciousness　that　a　terrible　hard　duty　lay　before　her。　　When　she　came　down　there　was　a　serious　look　in　her　eyes　which　did　not　escape　Raeburn's　keen　observation。　　He　was　down　before　her；　and　had　been　out　already；　for　he　had　managed　somehow　to　procure　a　lovely　handful　of　red　and　white　roses　and　mignonette。

〃All　good　wishes　for　your　birthday；　and　'sweets　to　the　sweet'　as　some　one　remarked　on　a　more　funereal　occasion；〃　he　said；　stooping　to　kiss　her。　　〃Dear　little　son　Eric；　it　is　very　jolly　to　have　you　to　myself　for　once。　　No　disrespect　to　Aunt　Jean　and　old　Tom；　but　two　is　company。〃　　〃What　lovely　flowers！〃　exclaimed　Erica。！　　〃How　good　of　you！　　Where　did　they　come　from？〃

〃I　made　love　to　old　Nicolls；　the　florist；　to　let　me　gather　these　myself；　he　was　very　anxious　to　make　a　gorgeous　arrangement　done　up　in　white　paper　with　a　lace　edge；　and　thought　me　a　fearful　Goth　for　preferring　this　disorderly　bunch。〃

They　sat　down　to　breakfast；　afterward　the　morning　papers　came　in；　and　Raeburn　disappeared　behind　the　〃Daily　Review；〃　while　the　servant　cleared　the　table。　　Erica　stood　by　the　open　French　window；　she　knew　that　in　a　few　minutes　she　must　speak；　and　how　to　get　what　she　had　to　say　into　words　she　did　not　know。　　Her　heart　beat　so　fast　that　she　felt　almost　choked。　　In　a　sort　of　dream　of　pain　she　watched　the　passers…by　happy　looking　girls　going　down　to　bathe；　children　with　spades　and　pails。　　Everything　seemed　so　tranquil；　so　ordinary　while　before　her　lay　a　duty　which　must　change　her　whole　world。

〃Not　much　news；〃　said　Raeburn；　coming　toward　her　as　the　servant　left　the　room。　　〃For　dullness　commend　me　to　a　Monday　paper！　　Well；　Eric；　how　are　we　to　spend　your　twenty…third　birthday？　　To　think　that　I　have　actually　a　child　of　twenty…three！　　Why；　I　ought　to　feel　an　old　patriarch；　and；　in　spite　of　white　hair　and　life…long　badgering；　I　don't；　you　know。　　Come；　what　shall　we　do。　　Where　would　you　like　to　go？〃

〃Father；〃　said　Erica；　〃I　want　first　to　have　a　talk　with　you。　　II　have　something　to　tell　you。〃

There　was　no　longer　any　mistaking　that　the　seriousness　meant　some　kind　of　trouble。　　Raeburn　put　his　arm　round　her。

〃Why；　my　little　girl；〃　he　said；　tenderly。　　〃You　are　trembling　all　over。　　What　is　the　matter？〃

〃The　matter　is　that　what　I　have　to　say　will　pain　you；　and　it　half　kills　me　to　do　that。　　But　there　is　no　choice　tell　you　I　must。　　You　would　not　wish　me　not　to　be　true；　not　to　be　honest。〃

Utter　perplexity　filled　Raeburn's　mind。　　What　phantom　trouble　was　threatening　him？　　Had　she　been　commissioned　to　tell　him　of　some　untoward　event？　　Some　business　calamity？　　Had　she　fallen　in　love　with　some　one　he　could　not　permit　her　to　marry？　　He　looked　questioningly　at　her；　but　her　expression　only　perplexed　him　still　more；　she　was　trembling　no　longer；　and　her　eyes　were　clear　and　bright；　there　was　a　strong　look　about　her　whole　face。

〃Father；〃　she　said；　quietly；　〃I　have　learned　to　believe　in　Jesus　Christ。〃

He　wrenched　away　his　arm；　he　started　back　from　her　as　if　she　had　stabbed　him。　　For　a　minute　he　looked　perfectly　dazed。

At　last；　after　a　silence　which　seemed　to　each　of　them　age…long；　he　spoke　in　the　agitated　voice　of　one　who　has　just　received　a　great　blow。

〃Do　you　know　what　you　are　saying；　Erica？　　Do　you　know　what　such　a　confession　as　you　have　made　will　involve？　　Do　you　mean　that　you　accept　the　whole　of　Christ's　teaching？

〃Yes；〃　she　replied；　firmly；　〃I　do。〃

〃You　intend　to　turn　Christian？〃

〃Yes；　to　try　to。〃

〃How　long　have　you　and　Mr。　Osmond　been　concocting　this？〃

〃I　don't　know　what　you　mean；〃　said　Erica；　terribly　wounded　by　his　tone。

〃Did　he　send　you　down　here　to　tell　me？〃

〃Mr。　Osmond　knows　nothing　about　it；〃　said　Erica。　　〃How　could　I　tell　any　one　before　you；　father？〃

Raeburn　was　touched　by　this。　　He　took　several　turns　up　and　down　the　room　before　speaking　again；　but　the　more　he　grasped　the　idea　the　deeper　grew　his　grief　and　the　hotter　his　anger。　　He　was　a　man　of　iron　will；　however；　and　he　kept　both　under。　　When　at　length　he　did　speak；　　his　voice　was　quiet　and　cold　and　repressed。

〃Sit　down；〃　he　said；　motioning　her　to　a　chair。　　〃This　is　not　a　subject　that　we　can　dismiss　in　five　minutes'　talk。　　I　must　hear　your　reasons。　　We　will　put　aside　all　personal　considerations。　　I　will　consider　you　just　as　an　ordinary　opponent。〃

His　coldness　chilled　her　to　the　heart。　　Was　it　always　to　be　like　this？　　How　could　she　possibly　endure　it？　　How　was　she　to　answer　his　questions　how　was　she　to　vindicate　her　faith　when　the　mere　tone　of　his　voice　seemed　to　paralyze　her　heart？　　He　was　indeed　treating　her　with　the　cold　formality　of　an　opponent；　but　never　for　a　single　instant　could　she　forget　that　he　was　her　father　the　being　she　loved　best　in　the　whole　world。

But　Erica　was　brave　and　true；　she　knew　that　this　was　a　crisis　in　their　lives；　and；　thrusting　down　her　own　personal　pain；　she　forced　herself　to　give　her　whole　heart　and　mind　to　the　searching　and　perplexing　questions　with　which　her　father　intended　to　test　the　reality　of　her　convictions。　　Had　she　been　unaccustomed　to　his　mode　of　attack　he　would　have　hopelessly　silenced　her；　as　far　as　argument　goes　in　half　an　hour；　but　not　only　was　Erica's　faith　perfectly　real；　but　she　had；　as　it　were；　herself　traversed　the　whole　of　his　objections　and　difficulties。　　Though　far　from　imagining　that　she　understood　everything；　she　had　yet　so　firmly　grasped　the　innermost　truth　that　all　details　as　yet　outside　her　vision　were　to　her　no　longer　hindrances　and　bugbears；　but　so　many　new　possibilities　other　hopes　of　fresh　manifestations　of　God。

She　held　her　ground　well；　and　every　minute　Raeburn　realized　more　keenly　that　whatever　hopes　he　had　entertained　of　reconvincing　her　were　futile。　　What　made　it　all　the　more　painful　to　him　was　that　the　thoroughness　of　the　training　he　had　given　her　now　only　told　against　him；　and　the　argument　which　he　carried　on　in　a　cold；　metallic　voice　was　really　piercing　his　very　heart；　for　it　was　like　arguing　against　another　self；　the　dearest　part　of　himself　gone　over　to　the　enemy's　side。

At　last　he　saw　that　argument　was　useless；　and　then；　in　his　grief　and　despair；　he　did　for　a　time　lose　his　self…control。　　Erica　had　often　felt　sorry　for　the　poor　creatures　who　had　to　bear　the　brunt　of　her　father's　scathing　sarcasm。　　But　platform　irony　was　a　trifle　to　the　torrent　which　bore　down　upon　her　today。　　When　a　strong　man　does　lose　his　restraint　upon　himself；　the　result　is　terrific。　　Raeburn　had　never　sufficiently　cared　for　an　adversary　as　to　be　moved　beyond　an　anger　which　could　be　restricted　and　held　within　due　bounds；　he　of　course　cared　more　for　the　success　of　his　cause　and　his　own　dignity。　　But　now　his　love　drove　him　to　despair；　his　intolerable　grief　at　the　thought　of　having　an　opponent　in　his　own　child　burst　all　restraining　bonds。　　Wounded　to　the　quick；　he　who　had　never　in　his　life　spoken　a　harsh　word　to　his　child　now　poured　forth　such　a　storm　of　anger；　and　sarcasm；　and　bitter　reproach；　as　might　have　made　even　an　uninterested　by…stander　tremble。

Had　Erica　made　any　appeal；　had　she　even　begun　to　cry；　his　chivalry　would　have　been　touched；　he　would　have　recognized　her　weakness；　and　regained　his　self　control。　　But　she　was　not　weak；　　she　was　strong　she　was　his　other　self　gone　over　to　the　opposite　side；　that　was　what　almost　maddened　him。　　The　torrent　bore　down　upon　her；　and　she　spoke　not　a　word；　but　just　sat　still　and　endured。　　Only；　as　the　words　grew　more　bitter　and　more　wounding；　her　lips　grew　white；　her　hands　were　locked　more　tightly　together。　　At　last　it　ended。

〃You　have　cheated　yourself　into　this　belief；〃　said　Raeburn；　〃you　have　given　me　the　most　bitter　grief　and　disappointment　of　my　whole　life。　　Have　you　anything　else　you　wish　to　say　to　me？〃

〃Nothing；〃　replied　Erica；　not　daring　to　venture　more；　for；　if　she　had　tried　to　speak；　she　knew　she　must　have　burst　into　tears。

But　there　was　as　much　pain　expressed　in　her　voice　as　she　spoke　that　one　word　as　there　had　been　in　all　her　father's　outburst。　　It　appealed　to　him　at　once。　　He　said　no　more；　but　stepped　out　of　the　French　window；　and　began　to　pace　to　an　fro　under　the　veranda。

Erica　di