idle thoughts of an idle fellow-第14部分

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this　kind。　　Dogs；　however；　seem　to　like　it。　　They　encourage　their　owners　in　the　tomfoolery；　and　the　consequence　is　that　in　the　circles　I　am　speaking　of　what　〃dear　Fido〃　has　done；　does　do；　will　do；　won't　do；　can　do；　can't　do；　was　doing；　is　doing；　is　going　to　do；　shall　do；　shan't　do；　and　is　about　to　be　going　to　have　done　is　the　continual　theme　of　discussion　from　morning　till　night。

All　the　conversation；　consisting；　as　it　does；　of　the　very　dregs　of　imbecility；　is　addressed　to　this　confounded　animal。　　The　family　sit　in　a　row　all　day　long；　watching　him；　commenting　upon　his　actions；　telling　each　other　anecdotes　about　him；　recalling　his　virtues；　and　remembering　with　tears　how　one　day　they　lost　him　for　two　whole　hours；　on　which　occasion　he　was　brought　home　in　a　most　brutal　manner　by　the　butcher…boy；　who　had　been　met　carrying　him　by　the　scruff　of　his　neck　with　one　hand；　while　soundly　cuffing　his　head　with　the　other。

After　recovering　from　these　bitter　recollections；　they　vie　with　each　other　in　bursts　of　admiration　for　the　brute；　until　some　more　than　usually　enthusiastic　member；　unable　any　longer　to　control　his　feelings；　swoops　down　upon　the　unhappy　quadruped　in　a　frenzy　of　affection；　clutches　it　to　his　heart；　and　slobbers　over　it。　　Whereupon　the　others；　mad　with　envy；　rise　up；　and　seizing　as　much　of　the　dog　as　the　greed　of　the　first　one　has　left　to　them；　murmur　praise　and　devotion。

Among　these　people　everything　is　done　through　the　dog。　　If　you　want　to　make　love　to　the　eldest　daughter；　or　get　the　old　man　to　lend　you　the　garden　roller；　or　the　mother　to　subscribe　to　the　Society　for　the　Suppression　of　Solo…Cornet　Players　in　Theatrical　Orchestras　（it's　a　pity　there　isn't　one；　anyhow）；　you　have　to　begin　with　the　dog。　　You　must　gain　its　approbation　before　they　will　even　listen　to　you；　and　if；　as　is　highly　probable；　the　animal；　whose　frank；　doggy　nature　has　been　warped　by　the　unnatural　treatment　he　has　received；　responds　to　your　overtures　of　friendship　by　viciously　snapping　at　you；　your　cause　is　lost　forever。

〃If　Fido　won't　take　to　any　one；〃　the　father　has　thoughtfully　remarked　beforehand；　〃I　say　that　man　is　not　to　be　trusted。　　You　know；　Maria；　how　often　I　have　said　that。　　Ah！　he　knows；　bless　him。〃

Drat　him！

And　to　think　that　the　surly　brute　was　once　an　innocent　puppy；　all　legs　and　head；　full　of　fun　and　play；　and　burning　with　ambition　to　become　a　big；　good　dog　and　bark　like　mother。

Ah　me！　life　sadly　changes　us　all。　　The　world　seems　a　vast　horrible　grinding　machine；　into　which　what　is　fresh　and　bright　and　pure　is　pushed　at　one　end；　to　come　out　old　and　crabbed　and　wrinkled　at　the　other。

Look　even　at　Pussy　Sobersides；　with　her　dull；　sleepy　glance；　her　grave；　slow　walk；　and　dignified；　prudish　airs；　who　could　ever　think　that　once　she　was　the　blue…eyed；　whirling；　scampering；　head…over…heels；　mad　little　firework　that　we　call　a　kitten？

What　marvelous　vitality　a　kitten　has。　　It　is　really　something　very　beautiful　the　way　life　bubbles　over　in　the　little　creatures。　　They　rush　about；　and　mew；　and　spring；　dance　on　their　hind　legs；　embrace　everything　with　their　front　ones；　roll　over　and　over；　lie　on　their　backs　and　kick。　　They　don't　know　what　to　do　with　themselves；　they　are　so　full　of　life。

Can　you　remember；　reader；　when　you　and　I　felt　something　of　the　same　sort　of　thing？　　Can　you　remember　those　glorious　days　of　fresh　young　manhoodhow；　when　coming　home　along　the　moonlit　road；　we　felt　too　full　of　life　for　sober　walking；　and　had　to　spring　and　skip；　and　wave　our　arms；　and　shout　till　belated　farmers'　wives　thoughtand　with　good　reason；　toothat　we　were　mad；　and　kept　close　to　the　hedge；　while　we　stood　and　laughed　aloud　to　see　them　scuttle　off　so　fast　and　made　their　blood　run　cold　with　a　wild　parting　whoop；　and　the　tears　came；　we　knew　not　why？　　Oh；　that　magnificent　young　LIFE！　that　crowned　us　kings　of　the　earth；　that　rushed　through　every　tingling　vein　till　we　seemed　to　walk　on　air；　that　thrilled　through　our　throbbing　brains　and　told　us　to　go　forth　and　conquer　the　whole　world；　that　welled　up　in　our　young　hearts　till　we　longed　to　stretch　out　our　arms　and　gather　all　the　toiling　men　and　women　and　the　little　children　to　our　breast　and　love　them　allall。　　Ah！　they　were　grand　days；　those　deep；　full　days；　when　our　coming　life；　like　an　unseen　organ；　pealed　strange；　yearnful　music　in　our　ears；　and　our　young　blood　cried　out　like　a　war…horse　for　the　battle。　　Ah；　our　pulse　beats　slow　and　steady　now；　and　our　old　joints　are　rheumatic；　and　we　love　our　easy…chair　and　pipe　and　sneer　at　boys'　enthusiasm。　　But　oh　for　one　brief　moment　of　that　god…like　life　again！



ON　BEING　SHY。

All　great　literary　men　are　shy。　　I　am　myself；　though　I　am　told　it　is　hardly　noticeable。

I　am　glad　it　is　not。　　It　used　to　be　extremely　prominent　at　one　time；　and　was　the　cause　of　much　misery　to　myself　and　discomfort　to　every　one　about　memy　lady　friends　especially　complained　most　bitterly　about　it。

A　shy　man's　lot　is　not　a　happy　one。　　The　men　dislike　him；　the　women　despise　him；　and　he　dislikes　and　despises　himself。　　Use　brings　him　no　relief；　and　there　is　no　cure　for　him　except　time；　though　I　once　came　across　a　delicious　recipe　for　overcoming　the　misfortune。　　It　appeared　among　the　〃answers　to　correspondents〃　in　a　small　weekly　journal　and　ran　as　followsI　have　never　forgotten　it：　　〃Adopt　an　easy　and　pleasing　manner；　especially　toward　ladies。〃

Poor　wretch！　　I　can　imagine　the　grin　with　which　he　must　have　read　that　advice。　　〃Adopt　an　easy　and　pleasing　manner；　especially　toward　ladies；〃　forsooth！　　Don't　you　adopt　anything　of　the　kind；　my　dear　young　shy　friend。　　Your　attempt　to　put　on　any　other　disposition　than　your　own　will　infallibly　result　in　your　becoming　ridiculously　gushing　and　offensively　familiar。　　Be　your　own　natural　self；　and　then　you　will　only　be　thought　to　be　surly　and　stupid。

The　shy　man　does　have　some　slight　revenge　upon　society　for　the　torture　it　inflicts　upon　him。　　He　is　able；　to　a　certain　extent；　to　communicate　his　misery。　　He　frightens　other　people　as　much　as　they　frighten　him。　He　acts　like　a　damper　upon　the　whole　room；　and　the　most　jovial　spirits　become　in　his　presence　depressed　and　nervous。

This　is　a　good　deal　brought　about　by　misunderstanding。　　Many　people　mistake　the　shy　man's　timidity　for　overbearing　arrogance　and　are　awed　and　insulted　by　it。　　His　awkwardness　is　resented　as　insolent　carelessness；　and　when；　terror…stricken　at　the　first　word　addressed　to　him；　the　blood　rushes　to　his　head　and　the　power　of　speech　completely　fails　him；　he　is　regarded　as　an　awful　example　of　the　evil　effects　of　giving　way　to　passion。

But；　indeed；　to　be　misunderstood　is　the　shy　man's　fate　on　every　occasion；　and　whatever　impression　he　endeavors　to　create；　he　is　sure　to　convey　its　opposite。　　When　he　makes　a　joke；　it　is　looked　upon　as　a　pretended　relation　of　fact　and　his　want　of　veracity　much　condemned。　His　sarcasm　is　accepted　as　his　literal　opinion　and　gains　for　him　the　reputation　of　being　an　ass；　while　if；　on　the　other　hand；　wishing　to　ingratiate　himself；　he　ventures　upon　a　little　bit　of　flattery；　it　is　taken　for　satire　and　he　is　hated　ever　afterward。

These　and　the　rest　of　a　shy　man's　troubles　are　always　very　amusing　to　other　people；　and　have　afforded　material　for　comic　writing　from　time　immemorial。　　But　if　we　look　a　little　deeper　we　shall　find　there　is　a　pathetic；　one　might　almost　say　a　tragic；　side　to　the　picture。　　A　shy　man　means　a　lonely　mana　man　cut　off　from　all　companionship；　all　sociability。　　He　moves　about　the　world；　but　does　not　mix　with　it。　Between　him　and　his　fellow…men　there　runs　ever　an　impassable　barriera　strong；　invisible　wall　that；　trying　in　vain　to　scale；　he　but　bruises　himself　against。　　He　sees　the　pleasant　faces　and　hears　the　pleasant　voices　on　the　other　side；　but　he　cannot　stretch　his　hand　across　to　grasp　another　hand。　　He　stands　watching　the　merry　groups；　and　he　longs　to　speak　and　to　claim　kindred　with　them。　　But　they　pass　him　by；　chatting　gayly　to　one　another；　and　he　cannot　stay　them。　　He　tries　to　reach　them；　but　his　prison　walls　move　with　him　and　hem　him　in　on　every　side。　　In　the　busy　street；　in　the　crowded　room；　in　the　grind　of　work；　in　the　whirl　of　pleasure；　amid　the　many　or　amid　the　fewwherever　men　congregate　together；　wherever　the　music　of　human　speech　is　heard　and　human　thought　is　flashed　from　human　eyes；　there；　shunned　and　solitary；　the　shy　man；　like　a　leper；　stands　apart。　　His　soul　is　full　of　love　and　longing；　but　the　world　knows　it　not。　　The　iron　mask　of　shyness　is　riveted　before　his　face；　and　the　man　beneath　is　never　seen。　　Genial　words　and　hearty　greetings　are　ever　rising　to　his　lips；　but　they　die　away　in　unheard　whispers　behind　the　steel　clamps。　　His　heart　aches　for　the　weary　brother；　but　his　sympathy　is　dumb。　　Contempt　and　indignation　against　wrong　choke　up　his　throat；　and　finding　no　safety…valve　whence　in　passionate　utterance　they　may　burst　forth；　they　only　turn　in　again　and　harm　him。　　All　the　hate　and　scorn　and　love　of　a　deep　nature　such　as　the　shy　man　is　ever　cursed　by　fester　and　corrupt　within；　instead　of　spending　themselves　abroad；　and　sour　him　into　a　misanthrope　and　cynic。

Yes；　shy　men；　like　ugly　women；　have　a　bad　time　of　it　in　this　world；　to　go　through　which　with　any　comfort　needs　the　hide　of　a　rhinoceros。　Thick　skin　is；　indeed；　our　mor