the hungry stones and other stories-第17部分

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〃Please　take　this　from　me；〃　said　I；　〃for　your　little　grand…daughter；　and　get　a　trustworthy　doctor　to　look　after　her。　　And…pray　for　my　husband。〃

But　the　whole　of　that　day　I　could　take　no　food　at　all。　　In　the　afternoon；　when　my　husband　got　up　from　sleep；　he　asked　me：　〃Why　do　you　look　so　pale？〃

I　was　about　to　say；　as　I　used　to　do　in　the　past：　〃Oh！　It's　nothing　〃；　but　those　days　of　deception　were　over；　and　I　spoke　to　him　plainly。

〃I　have　been　hesitating；〃　I　said；　〃for　days　together　to　tell　you　something。　　It　has　been　hard　to　think　out　what　exactly　it　was　I　wanted　to　say。　　Even　now　I　may　not　be　able　to　explain　what　I　had　in　my　mind。　But　I　am　sure　you　know　what　has　happened。　　Our　lives　have　drifted　apart。〃

My　husband　laughed　in　a　forced　manner；　and　said：　〃Change　is　the　law　of　nature。〃

I　said　to　him：　〃I　know　that。　　But　there　are　some　things　that　are　eternal。〃

Then　he　became　serious。

〃There　are　many　women；〃　said　he；　〃who　have　a　real　cause　for　sorrow。　There　are　some　whose　husbands　do　not　earn　money。　　There　are　others　whose　husbands　do　not　love　them。　　But　you　are　making　yourself　wretched　about　nothing　at　all。〃

Then　it　became　clear　to　me　that　my　very　blindness　had　conferred　on　me　the　power　of　seeing　a　world　which　is　beyond　all　change。　　Yes！　　It　is　true。　I　am　not　like　other　women。　　And　my　husband　will　never　understand　me。

IV

Our　two　lives　went　on　with　their　dull　routine　for　some　time。　　Then　there　was　a　break　in　the　monotony。　　An　aunt　of　my　husband　came　to　pay　us　a　visit。

The　first　thing　she　blurted　out　after　our　first　greeting　was　this：　〃Well；　Krum；　it's　a　great　pity　you　have　become　blind；　but　why　do　you　impose　your　own　affliction　on　your　husband？　　You　must　get　him　to　another　wife。〃

There　was　an　awkward　pause。　　If　my　husband　had　only　said　something　in　jest；　or　laughed　in　her　face；　all　would　have　been　over。　　But　he　stammered　and　hesitated；　and　said　at　last　in　a　nervous；　stupid　way：　〃Do　you　really　think　so？　　Really；　Aunt；　you　shouldn't　talk　like　that〃

His　aunt　appealed　to　me。　〃Was　I　wrong；　Kumo？〃

I　laughed　a　hollow　laugh。

〃Had　not　you　better；〃　said　I；　〃consult　some　one　more　competent　to　decide？　　The　pickpocket　never　asks　permission　from　the　man　whose　pocket　he　is　going　to　pick。〃

〃You　are　quite　right；〃　she　replied　blandly。　〃Abinash；　my　dear；　let　us　have　our　little　conference　in　private。　　What　do　you　say　to　that？〃

After　a　few　days　my　husband　asked　her；　in　my　presence；　if　she　knew　of　any　girl　of　a　decent　family　who　could　come　and　help　me　in　my　household　work。　　He　knew　quite　well　that　I　needed　no　help。　　I　kept　silence。

〃Oh！　　there　are　heaps　of　them；〃　replied　his　aunt。　〃My　cousin　has　a　daughter　who　is　just　of　the　marriageable　age；　and　as　nice　a　girl　as　you　could　wish。　　Her　people　would　be　only　too　glad　to　secure　you　as　a　husband。〃

Again　there　came　from　him　that　forced；　hesitating　laugh；　and　he　said：　〃But　I　never　mentioned　marriage。〃

〃How　could　you　expect；〃　asked　his　aunt；　〃a　girl　of　decent　family　to　come　and　live　in　your　house　without　marriage？　〃

He　had　to　admit　that　this　was　reasonable；　and　remained　nervously　silent。

I　stood　alone　within　the　closed　doors　of　my　blindness　after　he　had　gone；　and　called　upon　my　God　and　prayed：　〃O　God；　save　my　husband。〃

When　I　was　coming　out　of　the　household　shrine　from　my　morning　worship　a　few　days　later；　his　aunt　took　hold　of　both　my　hands　warmly。

〃Kumo；　here　is　the　girl；〃　said　she；　〃we　were　speaking　about　the　other　day。　　Her　name　is　Hemangini。　　She　will　be　delighted　to　meet　you。　　Hemo；　come　here　and　be　introduced　to　your　sister。〃

My　husband　entered　the　room　at　the　same　moment。　　He　feigned　surprise　when　he　saw　the　strange　girl；　and　was　about　to　retire。　　But　his　aunt　said：　〃Abinash；　my　dear；　what　are　you　running　away　for？　　There　is　no　need　to　do　that。　　Here　is　my　cousin's　daughter；　Hemangini；　come　to　see　you。　　Hemo；　make　your　bow　to　him。〃

As　if　taken　quite　by　surprise；　he　began　to　ply　his　aunt　with　questions　about　the　when　and　why　and　how　of　the　new　arrival。

I　saw　the　hollowness　of　the　whole　thing；　and　took　Hemangini　by　the　hand　and　led　her　to　my　own　room。　　I　gently　stroked　her　face　and　arms　and　hair；　and　found　that　she　was　about　fifteen　years　old；　and　very　beautiful。

As　I　felt　her　face；　she　suddenly　burst　out　laughing　and　said：　〃Why！　what　are　you　doing？　　Are　you　hypnotising　me？〃

That　sweet　ringing　laughter　of　hers　swept　away　in　a　moment　all　the　dark　clouds　that　stood　between　us。　　I　threw　my　right　arm　about　her　neck。

〃Dear　one；〃　said　I；　〃I　am　trying　to　see　you。〃　　And　again　I　stroked　her　soft　face　with　my　left　hand。

〃Trying　to　see　me？　〃　　she　said；　with　a　new　burst　of　laughter。　〃Am　I　like　a　vegetable　marrow；　grown　in　your　garden；　that　you　want　to　feel　me　all　round　to　see　how　soft　I　am？〃

I　suddenly　bethought　me　that　she　did　not　know　I　had　lost　my　sight。

〃Sister；　I　am　blind；〃　said　I。

She　was　silent。　　I　could　feel　her　big　young　eyes；　full　of　curiosity；　peering　into　my　face。　　I　knew　they　were　full　of　pity。　　Then　she　grew　thoughtful　and　puzzled；　and　said；　after　a　short　pause：

〃Oh！　I　see　now。　　That　was　the　reason　your　husband　invited　his　aunt　to　come　and　stay　here。〃

〃No！〃　　I　replied；　〃you　are　quite　mistaken。　　He　did　not　ask　her　to　come。　She　came　of　her　own　accord。〃

Hemangini　went　off　into　a　peal　of　laughter。　〃That's　just　like　my　aunt；〃　said　she。　〃Oh　I　wasn't　it　nice　of　her　to　come　without　any　invitation？　But　now　she's　come；　you　won't　get　her　to　move　for　some　time；　I　can　assure　you！〃

Then　she　paused；　and　looked　puzzled。

〃But　why　did　father　send　me？〃　she　asked。　〃Can　you　tell　me　that？　〃

The　aunt　had　come　into　the　room　while　we　were　talking。　　Hemangini　said　to　her：　〃When　are　you　thinking　of　going　back；　Aunt？　〃

The　aunt　looked　very　much　upset。

〃What　a　question　to　ask！〃　said　she；　〃I've　never　seen　such　a　restless　body　as　you。　　We've　only　just　come；　and　you　ask　when　we're　going　back！〃

〃It　is　all　very　well　for　you；〃　Hemangini　said；　〃for　this　house　belongs　to　your　near　relations。　　But　what　about　me？　　I　tell　you　plainly　I　can't　stop　here。〃　　And　then　she　held　my　hand　and　said：　〃What　do　you　think；　dear？〃

I　drew　her　to　my　heart；　but　said　nothing。　　The　aunt　was　in　a　great　difficulty。　　She　felt　the　situation　was　getting　beyond　her　control；　so　she　proposed　that　she　and　her　niece　should　go　out　together　to　bathe。

〃No！　　we　two　will　go　together；〃　said　Hemangini；　clinging　to　me。　　The　aunt　gave　in；　fearing　opposition　if　she　tried　to　drag　her　away。

Going　down　to　the　river　Hemangini　asked　me：　〃Why　don't　you　have　children？　〃

I　was　startled　by　her　question；　and　answered：　〃How　can　I　tell？　　My　God　has　not　given　me　any。　　That　is　the　reason。〃

〃No！　　That's　not　the　reason；〃　said　Hemangini　quickly。　〃You　must　have　committed　some　sin。　　Look　at　my　aunt。　　She　is　childless。　　It　must　be　because　her　heart　has　some　wickedness。　　But　what　wickedness　is　in　your　heart？〃

The　words　hurt　me。　　I　have　no　solution　to　offer　for　the　problem　of　evil。　I　sighed　deeply；　and　said　in　the　silence　of　my　soul：　〃My　God！　　Thou　knowest　the　reason。〃

〃Gracious　goodness；〃　cried　Hemangini；　〃what　are　you　sighing　for？　　No　one　ever　takes　me　seriously。〃

And　her　laughter　pealed　across　the　river。

V

I　found　out　after　this　that　there　were　constant　interruptions　in　my　husband's　professional　duties。　　He　refused　all　calls　from　a　distance；　and　would　hurry　away　from　his　patients；　even　when　they　were　close　at　hand。

Formerly　it　was　only　during　the　mid…day　meals　and　at　night…time　that　he　could　come　into　the　inner　apartment。　　But　now；　with　unnecessary　anxiety　for　his　aunt's　comfort；　he　began　to　visit　her　at　all　hours　of　the　day。　I　knew　at　once　that　he　had　come　to　her　room；　when　I　heard　her　shouting　for　Hemangini　to　bring　in　a　glass　of　water。　　At　first　the　girl　would　do　what　she　was　told；　but　later　on　she　refused　altogether。

Then　the　aunt　would　call；　in　an　endearing　voice：　〃Hemo！　　Hemo！　Hemangini。〃　　But　the　girl　would　cling　to　me　with　an　impulse　of　pity。　　A　sense　of　dread　and　sadness　would　keep　her　silent。　　Sometimes　she　would　shrink　towards　me　like　a　hunted　thing；　who　scarcely　knew　what　was　coming。

About　this　time　my　brother　came　down　from　Calcutta　to　visit　me。　　I　knew　how　keen　his　powers　of　observation　were；　and　what　a　hard　judge　he　was。　I　feared　my　husband　would　be　put　on　his　defence；　and　have　to　stand　his　trial　before　him。　　So　I　endeavoured　to　hide　the　true　situation　behind　a　mask　of　noisy　cheerfulness。　　But　I　am　afraid　I　overdid　the　part：　it　was　unnatural　for　me。

My　husband　began　to　fidget　openly；　and　asked　bow　long　my　brother　was　going　to　stay。　　At　last　his　impatience　became　little　short　of　insulting；　and　my　brother　had　no　help　for　it　but　to　leave。　　Before　going　he　placed　his　hand　on　my　head；　and　kept　it　there　for　some　time。　　I　noticed　that　his　hand　shook；　and　a　tear　fell　from　his　eyes；　as　he　silently　gave　me　his　blessing。

I　well　remember　that　it　was　an　evening　in　April；　and　a　market…day。　People　who　had　come　into　the　town　were　going　back　home　from　market。　There　was　the　feeling　of　an　impending　storm　in　the　air；　the　smell　of　the　wet　earth　and　the　moisture　in　the　wind　were　all…pervading。　　I　never　keep　a　lighted　lamp　in　my　bedroom；　when　I　am　alone；　lest　my　clothes　should　catch　fire；　or　some　accident　happen。　　I　sat　on　the　floor　in　my　dark　room；　and