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modeste mignon-第15部分

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and beautiful; have something else to think of; they are surrounded

like rare plants by a hedge of fools; well…bred idiots as hollow as

elder…bushes! My dream; alas! the crystal of my dream; garlanded from

hence to the Correze with rosesah! I cannot speak of itit is in

fragments at my feet; and has long been so。 No; no; all anonymous

letters are begging letters; and what sort of begging? Write yourself

to that young woman; if you suppose her young and pretty; and you'll

find out。 There is nothing like experience。 As for me; I can't

reasonably be expected to love every woman; Apollo; at any rate he of

Belvedere; is a delicate consumptive who must take care of his

health。〃



〃But when a woman writes to you in this way her excuse must certainly

be in her consciousness that she is able to eclipse in tenderness and

beauty every other woman;〃 said Ernest; 〃and I should think you might

feel some curiosity〃



〃Ah;〃 said Canalis; 〃permit me; my juvenile friend; to abide by the

beautiful duchess who is all my joy。〃



〃You are right; you are right!〃 cried Ernest。 However; the young

secretary read and re…read Modeste's letter; striving to guess the

mind of its hidden writer。



〃There is not the least fine…writing here;〃 he said; 〃she does not

even talk of your genius; she speaks to your heart。 In your place I

should feel tempted by this fragrance of modesty;this proposed

agreement〃



〃Then; sign it!〃 cried Canalis; laughing; 〃answer the letter and go to

the end of the adventure yourself。 You shall tell me the results three

months henceif the affair lasts so long。〃



Four days later Modeste received the following letter; written on

extremely fine paper; protected by two envelopes; and sealed with the

arms of Canalis。



  Mademoiselle;The admiration for fine works (allowing that my

  books are such) implies something so lofty and sincere as to

  protect you from all light jesting; and to justify before the

  sternest judge the step you have taken in writing to me。



  But first I must thank you for the pleasure which such proofs of

  sympathy afford; even though we may not merit them;for the maker

  of verses and the true poet are equally certain of the intrinsic

  worth of their writings;so readily does self…esteem lend itself

  to praise。 The best proof of friendship that I can give to an

  unknown lady in exchange for a faith which allays the sting of

  criticism; is to share with her the harvest of my own experience;

  even at the risk of dispelling her most vivid illusions。



  Mademoiselle; the noblest adornment of a young girl is the flower

  of a pure and saintly and irreproachable life。 Are you alone in

  the world? If you are; there is no need to say more。 But if you

  have a family; a father or a mother; think of all the sorrow that

  might come to them from such a letter as yours addressed to a poet

  of whom you know nothing personally。 All writers are not angels;

  they have many defects。 Some are frivolous; heedless; foppish;

  ambitious; dissipated; and; believe me; no matter how imposing

  innocence may be; how chivalrous a poet is; you will meet with

  many a degenerate troubadour in Paris ready to cultivate your

  affection only to betray it。 By such a man your letter would be

  interpreted otherwise than it is by me。 He would see a thought

  that is not in it; which you; in your innocence; have not

  suspected。 There are as many natures as there are writers。 I am

  deeply flattered that you have judged me capable of understanding

  you; but had you; perchance; fallen upon a hypocrite; a scoffer;

  one whose books may be melancholy but whose life is a perpetual

  carnival; you would have found as the result of your generous

  imprudence an evil…minded man; the frequenter of green…rooms;

  perhaps a hero of some gay resort。 In the bower of clematis where

  you dream of poets; can you smell the odor of the cigar which

  drives all poetry from the manuscript?



  But let us look still further。 How could the dreamy; solitary life

  you lead; doubtless by the sea…shore; interest a poet; whose

  mission it is to imagine all; and to paint all? What reality can

  equal imagination? The young girls of the poets are so ideal that

  no living daughter of Eve can compete with them。 And now tell me;

  what will you gain;you; a young girl; brought up to be the

  virtuous mother of a family;if you learn to comprehend the

  terrible agitations of a poet's life in this dreadful capital;

  which may be defined by one sentence;the hell in which men love。



  If the desire to brighten the monotonous existence of a young girl

  thirsting for knowledge has led you to take your pen in hand and

  write to me; has not the step itself the appearance of

  degradation? What meaning am I to give to your letter? Are you one

  of a rejected caste; and do you seek a friend far away from you?

  Or; are you afflicted with personal ugliness; yet feeling within

  you a noble soul which can give and receive a confidence? Alas;

  alas; the conclusion to be drawn is grievous。 You have said too

  much; or too little; you have gone too far; or not far enough。

  Either let us drop this correspondence; or; if you continue it;

  tell me more than in the letter you have now written me。



  But; mademoiselle; if you are young; if you are beautiful; if you

  have a home; a family; if in your heart you have the precious

  ointment; the spikenard; to pour out; as did Magdalene on the feet

  of Jesus; let yourself be won by a man worthy of you; become what

  every pure young girl should be;a good woman; the virtuous

  mother of a family。 A poet is the saddest conquest that a girl can

  make; he is full of vanity; full of angles that will sharply wound

  a woman's proper pride; and kill a tenderness which has no

  experience of life。 The wife of a poet should love him long before

  she marries him; she must train herself to the charity of angels;

  to their forbearance; to all the virtues of motherhood。 Such

  qualities; mademoiselle; are but germs in a young girl。



  Hear the whole truth;do I not owe it to you in return for your

  intoxicating flattery? If it is a glorious thing to marry a great

  renown; remember also that you must soon discover a superior man

  to be; in all that makes a man; like other men。 He therefore

  poorly realizes the hopes that attach to him as a phoenix。 He

  becomes like a woman whose beauty is over…praised; and of whom we

  say: 〃I thought her far more lovely。〃 She has not warranted the

  portrait painted by the fairy to whom I owe your letter;the

  fairy whose name is Imagination。



  Believe me; the qualities of the mind live and thrive only in a

  sphere invisible; not in daily life; the wife of a poet bears the

  burden; she sees the jewels manufactured; but she never wears

  them。 If the glory of the position fascinates you; hear me now

  when I tell you that its pleasures are soon at an end。 You will

  suffer when you find so many asperities in a nature which; from a

  distance; you thought equable; and such coldness at the shining

  summit。 Moreover; as women never set their feet within the world

  of real difficulties; they cease to appreciate what they once

  admired as soon as they think they see the inner mechanism of it。



  I close with a last thought; in which there is no disguised

  entreaty; it is the counsel of a friend。 The exchange of souls can

  take place only between persons who are resolved to hide nothing

  from each other。 Would you show yourself for such as you are to an

  unknown man? I dare not follow out the consequences of that idea。



  Deign to accept; mademoiselle; the homage which we owe to all

  women; even those who are disguised and masked。



So this was the letter she had worn between her flesh and her corset

above her palpitating heart throughout one whole day! For this she had

postponed the reading until the midnight hour when the household

slept; waiting for the solemn silence with the eager anxiety of an

imagination on fire! For this she had blessed the poet by

anticipation; reading a thousand letters ere she opened one;fancying

all things; except this drop of cold water falling upon the vaporous

forms of her illusion; and dissolving them as prussic acid dissolves

life。 What could she do but hide herself in her bed; blow out her

candle; bury her face in the sheets and weep?



All this happened during the first days of July。 But Modeste presently

got up; walked across the room and opened the window。 She wanted air。

The fragrance of the flowers came to her with the peculiar freshness

of the odors of the night。 The sea; lighted by the moon; sparkled like

a mirror。 A nightingale was singing in a tree。 〃Ah; there is the

poet!〃 thought Modeste; whose anger subsided at once。 Bitter

reflections chased each other through her mind。 She was cut to the

quick; she wished to re
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