anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第26部分

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en　he　told　the　story；　〃what　a　figure　a　man　makes　who　thus　unaccountably　chooses　to　be　the　frigid　narrator　of　his　own　disgrace。　　Il　volto　sciolto；　ed　i　pensieri　stretti；　was　a　proverb　made　on　purpose　for　such　mortals；　to　keep　people；　if　possible；　from　being　thus　the　heralds　of　their　own　shame；　for　what　compassion　can　they　gain　by　such　silly　narratives？　　No　man　should　be　expected　to　sympathise　with　the　sorrows　of　vanity。　　If；　then；　you　are　mortified　by　any　ill…usage；　whether　real　or

supposed；　keep　at　least　the　account　of　such　mortifications　to　yourself；　and　forbear　to　proclaim　how　meanly　you　are　thought　on　by　others；　unless　you　desire　to　be　meanly　thought　of　by　all。〃

The　little　history　of　another　friend's　superfluous　ingenuity　will　contribute　to　introduce　a　similar　remark。　　He　had　a　daughter　of　about　fourteen　years　old；　as　I　remember；　fat　and　clumsy；　and　though　the　father　adored；　and　desired　others　to　adore　her；　yet　being　aware；　perhaps；　that　she　was　not　what　the　French　call　paitrie　des　graces；　and　thinking；　I　suppose；　that　the　old　maxim　of　beginning　to　laugh　at　yourself　first　when　you　have　anything　ridiculous　about　you　was　a　good　one；　he　comically　enough　called　his　girl　TRUNDLE　when　he　spoke　of　her；　and　many　who　bore　neither　of　them　any　ill…will　felt　disposed　to　laugh　at　the　happiness　of　the　appellation。　〃See；　now；〃　says　Dr。　Johnson；　〃what　haste　people　are　in　to　be　hooted。　Nobody　ever　thought　of　this　fellow　nor　of　his　daughter；　could　he　but　have　been　quiet　himself；　and　forborne　to　call　the　eyes　of　the　world　on　his　dowdy　and　her　deformity。　　But　it　teaches　one　to　see　at　least　that　if　nobody　else　will　nickname　one's　children；　the　parents　will　e'en　do　it　themselves。〃

All　this　held　true　in　matters　to　Mr。　Johnson　of　more　serious　consequence。　When　Sir　Joshua　Reynolds　had　painted　his　portrait　looking　into　the　slit　of　his　pen；　and　holding　it　almost　close　to　his　eye；　as　was　his　general　custom；　he　felt　displeased；　and　told　me　〃he　would　not　be　known　by　posterity　for　his　DEFECTS　only；　let　Sir　Joshua　do　his　worst。〃　　I　said　in　reply　that　Reynolds　had　no　such　difficulties　about　himself；　and　that　he　might　observe　the　picture　which　hung　up　in　the　room　where　we　were　talking　represented　Sir　Joshua　holding　his　ear　in　his　hand　to　catch　the　sound。　　〃He　may　paint　himself　as　deaf　if　he　chooses；〃　replied　Johnson；　〃but　I　will　not　be　BLINKING　SAM。〃

It　is　chiefly　for　the　sake　of　evincing　the　regularity　and　steadiness　of　Mr。　Johnson's　mind　that　I　have　given　these　trifling　memoirs；　to　show　that　his　soul　was　not　different　from　that　of　another　person；　but；　as　it　was；　greater；　and　to　give　those　who　did　not　know　him　a　just　idea　of　his　acquiescence　in　what　we　call　vulgar　prejudices；　and　of　his　extreme　distance　from　those　notions　which　the　world　has　agreed；　I　know　not　very　well　why；　to　call　romantic。　　It　is　indeed　observable　in　his　preface　to　Shakespeare；　that　while　other　critics　expatiate　on　the　creative　powers　and　vivid　imagination　of　that　matchless　poet；　Dr。　Johnson　commends　him　for　giving　so　just　a　representation　of　human　manners；　〃that　from　his　scenes　a　hermit　might　estimate　the　value　of　society；　and　a　confessor　predict　the　progress　of　the　passions。〃　　I　have　not　the　book　with　me　here；　but　am　pretty　sure　that　such　is　his　expression。

The　general　and　constant　advice　he　gave；　too；　when　consulted　about　the　choice　of　a　wife；　a　profession；　or　whatever　influences　a　man's　particular　and　immediate　happiness；　was　always　to　reject　no　positive　good　from　fears　of　its　contrary　consequences。　　〃Do　not；〃　said　he；　〃forbear　to　marry　a　beautiful　woman　if　you　can　find　such；　out　of　a　fancy　that　she　will　be　less　constant　than　an　ugly　one；　or　condemn　yourself　to　the　society　of　coarseness　and　vulgarity　for　fear　of　the　expenses　or　other　dangers　of　elegance　and　personal　charms；　which　have　been　always　acknowledged　as　a　positive　good；　and　for　the　want　of　which　there　should　be　always　given　some　weighty　compensation。　　I　have；　however；〃　continued　Mr。　Johnson；　〃seen　some　prudent　fellows　who　forbore　to　connect　themselves　with　beauty　lest　coquetry　should　be　near；　and　with　wit　or　birth　lest　insolence　should　lurk　behind　them；　till　they　have　been　forced　by　their　discretion　to　linger　life　away　in　tasteless　stupidity；　and　choose　to　count　the　moments　by　remembrance　of　pain　instead　of　enjoyment　of　pleasure。〃

When　professions　were　talked　of；　〃Scorn；〃　said　Mr。　Johnson；　〃to　put　your　behaviour　under　the　dominion　of　canters；　never　think　it　clever　to　call　physic　a　mean　study；　or　law　a　dry　one；　or　ask　a　baby　of　seven　years　old　which　way　his　GENIUS　leads　him；　when　we　all　know　that　a　boy　of　seven　years　old　has　no　GENIUS　for　anything　except　a　pegtop　and　an　apple…pie；　but　fix　on　some　business　where　much　money　may　be　got；　and　little　virtue　risked：　follow　that　business　steadily；　and　do　not　live　as　Roger　Ascham　says　the　wits　do；　'men　know　not　how；　and　at　last　die　obscurely；　men　mark　not　where。'〃

Dr。　Johnson　had　indeed　a　veneration　for　the　voice　of　mankind　beyond　what　most　people　will　own；　and　as　he　liberally　confessed　that　all　his　own　disappointments　proceeded　from　himself；　he　hated　to　hear　others　complain　of　general　injustice。　　I　remember　when　lamentation　was　made　of　the　neglect　showed　to　Jeremiah　Markland；　a　great　philologist；　as　some　one　ventured　to　call　him。　　〃He　is　a　scholar；　undoubtedly；　sir；〃　replied　Dr。　Johnson；　〃but　remember　that　he　would　run　from　the　world；　and　that　it　is　not　the　world's　business　to　run　after　him。　　I　hate　a　fellow　whom　pride；　or　cowardice；　or　laziness　drives　into　a　corner；　and　does　nothing　when　he　is　there　but　sit　and　GROWL；　let　him　come　out　as　I　do；　and　BARK。　　The　world；〃　added　he；　〃is　chiefly　unjust　and　ungenerous　in　this；　that　all　are　ready　to　encourage　a　man　who　once　talks　of　leaving　it；　and　few　things　do　really　provoke　me　more　than　to　hear　people　prate　of　retirement；　when　they　have　neither　skill　to　discern　their　own　motives；　or　penetration　to　estimate　the　consequences。　But　while　a　fellow　is　active　to　gain　either　power　or　wealth；〃　continued　he；　〃everybody　produces　some　hindrance　to　his　advancement；　some　sage　remark；　or　some　unfavourable　prediction；　but　let　him　once　say　slightly；　I　have　had　enough　of　this　troublesome；　bustling　world；　'tis　time　to　leave　it　now：　'Ah；　dear　sir！'　cries　the　first　old　acquaintance　he　meets；　'I　am　glad　to　find　you　in　this　happy　disposition：　　yes；　dear　friend！　DO　retire　and　think　of　nothing　but　your　own　ease。　　There's　Mr。　William　will　find　it　a　pleasure　to　settle　all　your　accounts　and　relieve　you　from　the　fatigue；　Miss　Dolly　makes　the　charmingest　chicken…broth　in　the　world；　and　the　cheesecakes　we　ate　of　hers　once；　how　good　they　were。　　I　will　be　coming　every　two　or　three　days　myself　to　chat　with　you　in　a　quiet　way；　SO　SNUG！　and　tell　you　how　matters　go　upon　'Change；　or　in　the　House；　or　according　to　the　blockhead's　first　pursuits；　whether　lucrative　or　politic；　which　thus　he　leaves；　and　lays　himself　down　a　voluntary　prey　to　his　own　sensuality　and　sloth；　while　the　ambition　and　avarice　of　the　nephews　and　nieces；　with　their　rascally　adherents　and　coadjutors；　reap　the　advantage；　while　they　fatten　their　fool。'〃

As　the　votaries　of　retirement　had　little　of　Mr。　Johnson's　applause；　unless　that　he　knew　that　the　motives　were　merely　devotional；　and　unless　he　was　convinced　that　their　rituals　were　accompanied　by　a　mortified　state　of　the　body；　the　sole　proof　of　their　sincerity　which　he　would　admit；　as　a　compensation　for　such　fatigue　as　a　worldly　life　of　care　and　activity　requires；　so　of　the　various　states　and　conditions　of　humanity；　he　despised　none　more；　I　think；　than　the　man　who　marries　for　a　maintenance。　　And　of　a　friend　who　made　his　alliance　on　no　higher　principles；　he　said　once；　〃Now　has　that　fellow　（it　was　a　nobleman　of　whom　we　were　speaking）　at　length　obtained　a　certainty　of　three　meals　a　day；　and　for　that　certainty；　like　his　brother　dog　in　the　fable；　he　will　get　his　neck　galled　for　life　with　a　collar。〃

That　poverty　was　an　evil　to　be　avoided　by　all　honest　means；　however；　no　man　was　more　ready　to　avow：　　concealed　poverty　particularly；　which　he　said　was　the　general　corrosive　that　destroyed　the　peace　of　almost　every　family；　to　which　no　evening　perhaps　ever　returned　without　some　new　project　for　hiding　the　sorrows　and　dangers　of　the　next　day。　　〃Want　of　money；〃　says　Dr。　Johnson；　〃is　sometimes　concealed　under　pretended　avarice；　and　sly　hints　of　aversion　to　part　with　it；　sometimes　under　stormy　anger；　and　affectation　of　boundless　rage；　but　oftener　still　under　a　show　of　thoughtless　extravagance　and　gay　neglect；　while　to　a　penetrating　eye　none　of　these　wretched　veils　suffice　to　keep　the　cruel　truth　from　being　seen。　　Poverty　is　hic　et　ubique；〃　says　he；　〃and　if　you　do　shut　the　jade　out　of　the　door；　she　will　always　contrive　in　some　manner　to　poke　her　pale；　lean　face　in　at　the　window。〃

I　have　mentioned　before　that　old　age　had　very　little　of　Mr。　Johnson's　reverence。　　〃A　man　commonly　grew　wickeder　as　he　grew　older；〃　he　said；　〃at　least　he　but　changed　the　vices　of　youth；　headstrong　passion　and　wild　temerity；　for　treacherous　caution；　and　desire　to　circumvent。　　I　am　always；〃　said　he；　〃on　the　young　people's　side；　when　there　is　a　dispute　between　them　and　the　old　ones；　for　you　have　at　least　a　chance　for　virtue　till　age　has　withered　its　very　root。〃　　While　we　were　talking；　my　mot