anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第4部分

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u　teach　your　daughters　the　diameters　of　the　planets；　and　wonder　when　you　have　done　that　they　do　not　delight　in　your　company。　　No　science　can　be　communicated　by　mortal　creatures　without　attention　from　the　scholar；　no　attention　can　be　obtained　from　children　without　the　infliction　of　pain；　and　pain　is　never　remembered　without　resentment。〃　　That　something　should　be　learned　was；　however；　so　certainly　his　opinion　that　I　have　heard　him　say　how　education　had　been　often　compared　to　agriculture；　yet　that　it　resembled　it　chiefly　in　this：　　〃That　if　nothing　is　sown；　no　crop；〃　says　he；　〃can　be　obtained。〃　　His　contempt　of　the　lady　who　fancied　her　son　could　be　eminent　without　study；　because　Shakespeare　was　found　wanting　in　scholastic　learning；　was　expressed　in　terms　so　gross　and　so　well　known；　I　will　not　repeat　them　here。

To　recollect；　however；　and　to　repeat　the　sayings　of　Dr。　Johnson；　is　almost　all　that　can　be　done　by　the　writers　of　his　life；　as　his　life；　at　least　since　my　acquaintance　with　him；　consisted　in　little　else　than　talking；　when　he　was　not　absolutely　employed　in　some　serious　piece　of　work；　and　whatever　work　he　did　seemed　so　much　below　his　powers　of　performance　that　he　appeared　the　idlest　of　all　human　beings；　ever　musing　till　he　was　called　out　to　converse；　and　conversing　till　the　fatigue　of　his　friends；　or　the　promptitude　of　his　own　temper　to　take　offence；　consigned　him　back　again　to　silent　meditation。

The　remembrance　of　what　had　passed　in　his　own　childhood　made　Mr。　Johnson　very　solicitous　to　preserve　the　felicity　of　children：　　and　when　he　had　persuaded　Dr。　　Sumner　to　remit　the　tasks　usually　given　to　fill　up　boys'　time　during　the　holidays；　he　rejoiced　exceedingly　in　the　success　of　his　negotiation；　and　told　me　that　he　had　never　ceased　representing　to　all　the　eminent　schoolmasters　in　England　the　absurd　tyranny　of　poisoning　the　hour　of　permitted　pleasure　by　keeping　future　misery　before　the　children's　eyes；　and　tempting　them　by　bribery　or　falsehood　to　evade　it。　　〃Bob　Sumner；〃　said　he；　〃however；　I　have　at　length　prevailed　upon。　　I　know　not；　indeed；　whether　his　tenderness　was　persuaded；　or　his　reason　convinced；　but　the　effect　will　always　be　the　same。　　Poor　Dr。　Sumner　died；　however；　before　the　next　vacation。〃

Mr。　Johnson　was　of　opinion；　too；　that　young　people　should　have　POSITIVE；　not　GENERAL；　rules　given　for　their　direction。　　〃My　mother；〃　said　he；　〃was　always　telling　me　that　I　did　not　BEHAVE　myself　properly；　that　I　should　endeavour　to　learn　BEHAVIOUR；　and　such　cant；　but　when　I　replied　that　she　ought　to　tell　me　what　to　do；　and　what　to　avoid；　her　admonitions　were　commonly；　for　that　time　at　least；　at　an　end。〃

This　I　fear　was；　however；　at　best　a　momentary　refuge　found　out　by　perverseness。　　No　man　knew　better　than　Johnson　in　how　many　nameless　and　numberless　actions　BEHAVIOUR　consistsactions　which　can　scarcely　be　reduced　to　rule；　and　which　come　under　no　description。　　Of　these　he　retained　so　many　very　strange　ones；　that　I　suppose　no　one　who　saw　his　odd　manner　of　gesticulating　much　blamed　or　wondered　at　the　good　lady's　solicitude　concerning　her　son's　BEHAVIOUR。

Though　he　was　attentive　to　the　peace　of　children　in　general；　no　man　had　a　stronger　contempt　than　he　for　such　parents　as　openly　profess　that　they　cannot　govern　their　children。　　〃How；〃　says　he；　〃is　an　army　governed？　　Such　people；　for　the　most　part；　multiply　prohibitions　till　obedience　becomes　impossible；　and　authority　appears　absurd；　and　never　suspect　that　they　tease　their　family；　their　friends；　and　themselves；　only　because　conversation　runs　low；　and　something　must　be　said。〃

Of　parental　authority；　indeed；　few　people　thought　with　a　lower　degree　of　estimation。　　I　one　day　mentioned　the　resignation　of　Cyrus　to　his　father's　will；　as　related　by　Xenophon；　when；　after　all　his　conquests；　he　requested　the　consent　of　Cambyses　to　his　marriage　with　a　neighbouring　princess；　and　I　added　Rollin's　applause　and　recommendation　of　the　example。　　〃Do　you　not　perceive；　then；〃　says　Johnson；　〃that　Xenophon　on　this　occasion　commends　like　a　pedant；　and　Pere　Rollin　applauds　like　a　slave？　　If　Cyrus　by　his　conquests　had　not　purchased　emancipation；　he　had　conquered　to　little　purpose　indeed。　　Can　you　forbear　to　see　the　folly　of　a　fellow　who　has　in　his　care　the　lives　of　thousands；　when　he　begs　his　papa　permission　to　be　married；　and　confesses　his　inability　to　decide　in　a　matter　which　concerns　no　man's　happiness　but　his　own？〃　　Mr。　Johnson　caught　me　another　time　reprimanding　the　daughter　of　my　housekeeper　for　having　sat　down　unpermitted　in　her　mother's　presence。　　〃Why；　she　gets　her　living；　does　she　not；〃　said　he；　〃without　her　mother's　help？　　Let　the　wench　alone；〃　continued　he。　　And　when　we　were　again　out　of　the　women's　sight　who　were　concerned　in　the　dispute：　　〃Poor　people's　children；　dear　lady；〃　said　he；　〃never　respect　them。　　I　did　not　respect　my　own　mother；　though　I　loved　her。　　And　one　day；　when　in　anger　she　called　me　a　puppy；　I　asked　her　if　she　knew　what　they　called　a　puppy's　mother。〃　　We　were　talking　of　a　young　fellow　who　used　to　come　often　to　the　house；　he　was　about　fifteen　years　old；　or　less；　if　I　remember　right；　and　had　a　manner　at　once　sullen　and　sheepish。　　〃That　lad；〃　says　Mr。　Johnson；　〃looks　like　the　son　of　a　schoolmaster；　which；〃　added　he；　〃is　one　of　the　very　worst　conditions　of　childhood。　　Such　a　boy　has　no　father；　or　worse　than　none；　he　never　can　reflect　on　his　parent　but　the　reflection　brings　to　his　mind　some　idea　of　pain　inflicted；　or　of　sorrow　suffered。〃

I　will　relate　one　thing　more　that　Dr。　Johnson　said　about　babyhood　before　I　quit　the　subject；　it　was　this：　　〃That　little　people　should　be　encouraged　always　to　tell　whatever　they　hear　particularly　striking　to　some　brother；　sister；　or　servant　immediately；　before　the　impression　is　erased　by　the　intervention　of　newer　occurrences。　　He　perfectly　remembered　the　first　time　he　ever　heard　of　Heaven　and　Hell；〃　he　said；　〃because　when　his　mother　had　made　out　such　a　description　of　both　places　as　she　thought　likely　to　seize　the　attention　of　her　infant　auditor；　who　was　then　in　bed　with　her；　she　got　up；　and　dressing　him　before　the　usual　time；　sent　him　directly　to　call　a　favourite　workman　in　the　house；　to　whom　he　knew　he　would　communicate　the　conversation　while　it　was　yet　impressed　upon　his　mind。　　The　event　was　what　she　wished；　and　it　was　to　that　method　chiefly　that　he　owed　his　uncommon　felicity　of　remembering　distant　occurrences　and　long　past　conversations。〃

At　the　age　of　eighteen　Dr。　Johnson　quitted　school；　and　escaped　from　the　tuition　of　those　he　hated　or　those　he　despised。　　I　have　heard　him　relate　very　few　college　adventures。　　He　used　to　say　that　our　best　accounts　of　his　behaviour　there　would　be　gathered　from　Dr。　Adams　and　Dr。　Taylor；　and　that　he　was　sure　they　would　always　tell　the　truth。　　He　told　me；　however；　one　day　how；　when　he　was　first　entered　at　the　University；　he　passed　a　morning；　in　compliance　with　the　customs　of　the　place；　at　his　tutor's　chambers；　but；　finding　him　no　scholar；　went　no　more。　　In　about　ten　days　after；　meeting　the　same　gentleman；　Mr。　Jordan；　in　the　street；　he　offered　to　pass　by　without　saluting　him；　but　the　tutor　stopped；　and　inquired；　not　roughly　neither；　what　he　had　been　doing？　　〃Sliding　on　the　ice；〃　was　the　reply；　and　so　turned　away　with　disdain。　　He　laughed　very　heartily　at　the　recollection　of　his　own　insolence；　and　said　they　endured　it　from　him　with　wonderful　acquiescence；　and　a　gentleness　that；　whenever　he　thought　of　it；　astonished　himself。　　He　told　me；　too；　that　when　he　made　his　first　declamation；　he　wrote　over　but　one　copy；　and　that　coarsely；　and　having　given　it　into　the　hand　of　the　tutor；　who　stood　to　receive　it　as　he　passed；　was　obliged　to　begin　by　chance　and　continue　on　how　he　could；　for　he　had　got　but　little　of　it　by　heart；　so　fairly　trusting　to　his　present　powers　for　immediate　supply；　he　finished　by　adding　astonishment　to　the　applause　of　all　who　knew　how　little　was　owing　to　study。　　A　prodigious　risk；　however；　said　some　one。　　〃Not　at　all！〃　exclaims　Johnson。　　〃No　man；　I　suppose；　leaps　at　once　into　deep　water　who　does　not　know　how　to　swim。〃

I　doubt　not　but　this　story　will　be　told　by　many　of　his　biographers；　and　said　so　to　him　when　he　told　it　me　on　the　18th　of　July；　1773。　　〃And　who　will　be　my　biographer；〃　said　he；　〃do　you　think？〃　　〃Goldsmith；　no　doubt；〃　replied　I；　〃and　he　will　do　it　the　best　among　us。〃　　〃The　dog　would　write　it　best；　to　be　sure；〃　replied　he；　〃but　his　particular　malice　towards　me；　and　general　disregard　for　truth；　would　make　the　book　useless　to　all；　and　injurious　to　my　character。〃　　〃Oh！　as　to　that；〃　said　I；　〃we　should　all　fasten　upon　him；　and　force　him　to　do　you　justice；　but　the　worst　is；　the　Doctor　does　not　KNOW　your　life；　nor　can　I　tell　indeed　who　does；　except　Dr。　Taylor　of　Ashbourne。〃　〃Why；　Taylor；〃　said　he；　〃is　better　acquainted　with　my　HEART　than　any　man　or　woman　now　alive；　and　the　history　of　my　Oxford　exploits　lies　all　between　him　and　Adams；　but　Dr。　James　knows　my　very　early　days　better　than　he。　　After　my　coming　to　London　to　drive　the　world　about　a　little；　you　must　all　go　to　Jack　Hawkesworth　for　anecdotes。　　I　lived　in　great　familiarity　with　him　（though　I　think　there　was　not　much　affection）　from　the　year　1753　till　the　time　Mr。　Thrale　and　you　took　me　up。　　I　intend；　however；　to　disappoint　the　rogues；　and　either　ma