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a daughter of eve-第4部分

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under a weight of troubles too heavy for her soul to bear; was lying

back on the sofa with bent limbs; and her head tossing restlessly。 She

had rushed to her sister's house after a brief appearance at the

Opera。 Flowers were still in her hair; but others were scattered upon

the carpet; together with her gloves; her silk pelisse; and muff and

hood。 Tears were mingling with the pearls on her bosom; her swollen

eyes appeared to make strange confidences。 In the midst of so much

luxury her distress was horrible; and she seemed unable to summon

courage to speak。



〃Poor darling!〃 said Madame du Tillet; 〃what a mistaken idea you have

of my marriage if you think that I can help you!〃



Hearing this revelation; dragged from her sister's heart by the

violence of the storm she herself had raised there; the countess

looked with stupefied eyes at the banker's wife; her tears stopped;

and her eyes grew fixed。



〃Are you in misery as well; my dearest?〃 she said; in a low voice。



〃My griefs will not ease yours。〃



〃But tell them to me; darling; I am not yet too selfish to listen。 Are

we to suffer together once more; as we did in girlhood?〃



〃But alas! we suffer apart;〃 said the banker's wife。 〃You and I live

in two worlds at enmity with each other。 I go to the Tuileries when

you are not there。 Our husbands belong to opposite parties。 I am the

wife of an ambitious banker;a bad man; my darling; while you have a

noble; kind; and generous husband。〃



〃Oh! don't reproach me!〃 cried the countess。 〃To understand my

position; a woman must have borne the weariness of a vapid and barren

life; and have entered suddenly into a paradise of light and love; she

must know the happiness of feeling her whole life in that of another;

of espousing; as it were; the infinite emotions of a poet's soul; of

living a double existence;going; coming with him in his courses

through space; through the world of ambition; suffering with his

griefs; rising on the wings of his high pleasures; developing her

faculties on some vast stage; and all this while living calm; serene;

and cold before an observing world。 Ah! dearest; what happiness in

having at all hours an enormous interest; which multiplies the fibres

of the heart and varies them indefinitely! to feel no longer cold

indifference! to find one's very life depending on a thousand trifles!

on a walk where an eye will beam to us from a crowd; on a glance

which pales the sun! Ah! what intoxication; dear; to live! to LIVE

when other women are praying on their knees for emotions that never

come to them! Remember; darling; that for this poem of delight there

is but a single moment;youth! In a few years winter comes; and cold。

Ah! if you possessed these living riches of the heart; and were

threatened with the loss of them〃



Madame du Tillet; terrified; had covered her face with her hands

during the passionate utterance of this anthem。



〃I did not even think of reproaching you; my beloved;〃 she said at

last; seeing her sister's face bathed in hot tears。 〃You have cast

into my soul; in one moment; more brands than I have tears to quench。

Yes; the life I live would justify to my heart a love like that you

picture。 Let me believe that if we could have seen each other oftener;

we should not now be where we are。 If you had seen my sufferings; you

must have valued your own happiness the more; and you might have

strengthened me to resist my tyrant; and so have won a sort of peace。

Your misery is an incident which chance may change; but mine is daily

and perpetual。 To my husband I am a peg on which to hang his luxury;

the sign…post of his ambition; a satisfaction to his vanity。 He has no

real affection for me; and no confidence。 Ferdinand is hard and

polished as that piece of marble;〃 she continued; striking the

chimney…piece。 〃He distrusts me。 Whatever I may want for myself is

refused before I ask it; but as for what flatters his vanity and

proclaims his wealth; I have no occasion to express a wish。 He

decorates my apartments; he spends enormous sums upon my

entertainments; my servants; my opera…box; all external matters are

maintained with the utmost splendor。 His vanity spares no expense; he

would trim his children's swaddling…clothes with lace if he could; but

he would never hear their cries; or guess their needs。 Do you

understand me? I am covered with diamonds when I go to court; I wear

the richest jewels in society; but I have not one farthing I can use。

Madame du Tillet; who; they say; is envied; who appears to float in

gold; has not a hundred francs she can call her own。 If the father

cares little for his child; he cares less for its mother。 Ah! he has

cruelly made me feel that he bought me; and that in marrying me

without a 〃dot〃 he was wronged。 I might perhaps have won him to love

me; but there's an outside influence against it;that of a woman; who

is over fifty years of age; the widow of a notary; who rules him。 I

shall never be free; I know that; so long as he lives。 My life is

regulated like that of a queen; my meals are served with the utmost

formality; at a given hour I must drive to the Bois; I am always

accompanied by two footmen in full dress; I am obliged to return at a

certain hour。 Instead of giving orders; I receive them。 At a ball; at

the theatre; a servant comes to me and says: 'Madame's carriage is

ready;' and I am obliged to go; in the midst; perhaps; of something I

enjoy。 Ferdinand would be furious if I did not obey the etiquette he

prescribes for his wife; he frightens me。 In the midst of this hateful

opulence; I find myself regretting the past; and thinking that our

mother was kind; she left us the nights when we could talk together;

at any rate; I was living with a dear being who loved me and suffered

with me; whereas here; in this sumptuous house; I live in a desert。〃



At this terrible confession the countess caught her sister's hand and

kissed it; weeping。



〃How; then; can I help you;〃 said Eugenie; in a low voice。 〃He would

be suspicious at once if he surprised us here; and would insist on

knowing all that you have been saying to me。 I should be forced to

tell a lie; which is difficult indeed with so sly and treacherous a

man; he would lay traps for me。 But enough of my own miseries; let us

think of yours。 The forty thousand francs you want would be; of

course; a mere nothing to Ferdinand; who handles millions with that

fat banker; Baron de Nucingen。 Sometimes; at dinner; in my presence;

they say things to each other which make me shudder。 Du Tillet knows

my discretion; and they often talk freely before me; being sure of my

silence。 Well; robbery and murder on the high…road seem to me merciful

compared to some of their financial schemes。 Nucingen and he no more

mind destroying a man than if he were an animal。 Often I am told to

receive poor dupes whose fate I have heard them talk of the night

before;men who rush into some business where they are certain to

lose their all。 I am tempted; like Leonardo in the brigand's cave; to

cry out; 'Beware!' But if I did; what would become of me? So I keep

silence。 This splendid house is a cut…throat's den! But Ferdinand and

Nucingen will lavish millions for their own caprices。 Ferdinand is now

buying from the other du Tillet family the site of their old castle;

he intends to rebuild it and add a forest with large domains to the

estate; and make his son a count; he declares that by the third

generation the family will be noble。 Nucingen; who is tired of his

house in the rue Saint…Lazare; is building a palace。 His wife is a

friend of mineAh!〃 she cried; interrupting herself; 〃she might help

us; she is very bold with her husband; her fortune is in her own

right。 Yes; she could save you。〃



〃Dear heart; I have but a few hours left; let us go to her this

evening; now; instantly;〃 said Madame de Vandenesse; throwing herself

into Madame du Tillet's arms with a burst of tears。



〃I can't go out at eleven o'clock at night;〃 replied her sister。



〃My carriage is here。〃



〃What are you two plotting together?〃 said du Tillet; pushing open the

door of the boudoir。



He came in showing a torpid face lighted now by a speciously amiable

expression。 The carpets had dulled his steps and the preoccupation of

the two sisters had kept them from noticing the noise of his carriage…

wheels on entering the court…yard。 The countess; in whom the habits of

social life and the freedom in which her husband had left her had

developed both wit and shrewdness;qualities repressed in her sister

by marital despotism; which simply continued that of their mother;

saw that Eugenie's terror was on the point of betraying them; and she

evaded that danger by a frank answer。



〃I thought my sister richer than she is;〃 she replied; looking

straight at her brother…in…law。 〃Women are sometimes embarrassed for

money; and do not wish to tell their husbands; like Josephine with

Napo
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