the life and adventures of baron trenck-2-第2部分

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impulse　that　withheld　my　hand　on　this　fatal；　this　miserable　night？

This　misery　I　foresaw　was　not　of　short　duration；　I　had　heard　of　the　wars　that　were　lately　broken　out　between　Austria　and　Prussia。　Patiently　to　wait　their　termination；　amid　sufferings　and　wretchedness　such　as　mine；　appeared　impossible；　and　freedom　even　then　was　doubtful。　　Sad　experience　had　I　had　of　Vienna；　and　well　I　knew　that　those　who　had　despoiled　me　of　my　property　most　anxiously　would　endeavour　to　prevent　my　return。　　Such　were　my　meditations！　such　my　night　thoughts！　　Day　at　length　returned；　but　where　was　its　splendour？　　Fled！　　I　beheld　it　not；　yet　was　its　glimmering　obscurity　sufficient　to　show　me　what　was　my　dungeon。

In　breadth　it　was　about　eight　feet；　in　length；　ten。　　Near　me　once　more　stood　a　night…table；　in　a　corner　was　a　seat；　four　bricks　broad；　on　which　I　might　sit；　and　recline　against　the　wall。　　Opposite　the　ring　to　which　I　was　fastened；　the　light　was　admitted　through　a　semi…　circular　aperture；　one　foot　high；　and　two　in　diameter。　　This　aperture　ascended　to　the　centre　of　the　wall；　which　was　six　feet　thick；　and　at　this　central　part　was　a　close　iron　grating；　from　which；　outward；　the　aperture　descended；　and　its　two　extremities　were　again　secured　by　strong　iron　bars。　　My　dungeon　was　built　in　the　ditch　of　the　fortification；　and　the　aperture　by　which　the　light　entered　was　so　covered　by　the　wall　of　the　rampart　that；　instead　of　finding　immediate　passage；　the　light　only　gained　admission　by　reflection。　　This；　considering　the　smallness　of　the　aperture；　and　the　impediments　of　grating　and　iron　bars；　must　needs　make　the　obscurity　great；　yet　my　eyes；　in　time；　became　so　accustomed　to　this　glimmering　that　I　could　see　a　mouse　run。　　In　winter；　however；　when　the　sun　did　not　shine　into　the　ditch；　it　was　eternal　night　with　me。　Between　the　bars　and　the　grating　was　a　glass　window；　most　curiously　formed；　with　a　small　central　casement；　which　might　be　opened　to　admit　the　air。　　My　night…table　was　daily　removed；　and　beside　me　stood　a　jug　of　water。　　The　name　of　TRENCK　was　built　in　the　wall；　in　red　brick；　and　under　my　feet　was　a　tombstone　with　the　name　of　TRENCK　also　cut　on　it；　and　carved　with　a　death's　head。　　The　doors　to　my　dungeon　were　double；　of　oak；　two　inches　thick；　without　these　was　an　open　space　or　front　cell；　in　which　was　a　window；　and　this　space　was　likewise　shut　in　by　double　doors。　　The　ditch；　in　which　this　dreadful　den　was　built；　was　enclosed　on　both　sides　by　palisades；　twelve　feet　high；　the　key　of　the　door　of　which　was　entrusted　to　the　officer　of　the　guard；　it　being　the　King's　intention　to　prevent　all　possibility　of　speech　or　communication　with　the　sentinels。　　The　only　motion　I　had　the　power　to　make　was　that　of　jumping　upward；　or　swinging　my　arms　to　procure　myself　warmth。　　When　more　accustomed　to　these　fetters；　I　became　capable　of　moving　from　side　to　side；　about　four　feet；　but　this　pained　my　shin…bones。

The　cell　had　been　finished　with　lime　and　plaster　but　eleven　days；　and　everybody　supposed　it　would　be　impossible　I　should　exist　in　these　damps　above　a　fortnight。　　I　remained　six　months；　continually　immersed　in　very　cold　water；　that　trickled　upon　me　from　the　thick　arches　under　which　I　was；　and　I　can　safely　affirm　that；　for　the　first　three　months；　I　was　never　dry；　yet　did　I　continue　in　health。　I　was　visited　daily；　at　noon；　after　relieving　guard；　and　the　doors　were　then　obliged　to　be　left　open　for　some　minutes；　otherwise　the　dampness　of　the　air　put　out　their　candles。

This　was　my　situation；　and　here　I　sat；　destitute　of　friends；　helplessly　wretched；　preyed　on　by　all　the　torture　of　thought　that　continually　suggested　the　most　gloomy；　the　most　horrid；　the　most　dreadful　of　images。　　My　heart　was　not　yet　wholly　turned　to　stone；　my　fortitude　was　sunken　to　despondency；　my　dungeon　was　the　very　cave　of　despair；　yet　was　my　arm　restrained；　and　this　excess　of　misery　endured。

How　then　may　hope　be　wholly　eradicated　from　the　heart　of　man？　　My　fortitude；　after　some　time；　began　to　revive；　I　glowed　with　the　desire　of　convincing　the　world　I　was　capable　of　suffering　what　man　had　never　suffered　before；　perhaps　of　at　last　emerging　from　this　load　of　wretchedness　triumphant　over　my　enemies。　　So　long　and　ardently　did　my　fancy　dwell　on　this　picture；　that　my　mind　at　length　acquired　a　heroism　which　Socrates　himself　certainly　never　possessed。　Age　had　benumbed　his　sense　of　pleasure；　and　he　drank　the　poisonous　draught　with　cool　indifference；　but　I　was　young；　inured　to　high　hopes；　yet　now　beholding　deliverance　impossible；　or　at　an　immense；　a　dreadful　distance。　　Such；　too；　were　the　other　sufferings　of　soul　and　body；　I　could　not　hope　they　might　be　supported　and　live。

About　noon　my　den　was　opened。　　Sorrow　and　compassion　were　painted　on　the　countenances　of　my　keepers。　　No　one　spoke；　no　one　bade　me　good　morrow。　　Dreadful　indeed　was　their　arrival；　for；　unaccustomed　to　the　monstrous　bolts　and　bars；　they　were　kept　resounding　for　a　full　half…　hour　before　such　soul…chilling；　such　hope…murdering　impediments　were　removed。　　It　was　the　voice　of　tyranny　that　thundered。

My　night…table　was　taken　out；　a　camp…bed；　mattress；　and　blankets　were　brought　me；　a　jug　of　water　set　down；　and　beside　it　an　ammunition　loaf　of　six　pounds'　weight。　　〃That　you　may　no　more　complain　of　hunger；〃　said　the　town…major；　〃you　shall　have　as　much　bread　as　you　can　eat。〃　　The　door　was　shut；　and　I　again　left　to　my　thoughts。

What　a　strange　thing　is　that　called　happiness！　　How　shall　I　express　my　extreme　joy　when；　after　eleven　months　of　intolerable　hunger；　I　was　again　indulged　with　a　full　feast　of　coarse　ammunition　bread？　The　fond　lover　never　rushed　more　eagerly　to　the　arias　of　his　expecting　bride；　the　famished　tiger　more　ravenously　on　his　prey；　than　I　upon　this　loaf。　　I　ate；　rested；　surveyed　the　precious　morsel；　ate　again；　and　absolutely　shed　tears　of　pleasure。　　Breaking　bit　after　bit；　I　had　by　evening　devoured　all　my　loaf。

Oh；　Nature！　what　delight　hast　thou　combined　with　the　gratification　of　thy　wants！　　Remember　this；　ye　who　gorge；　ye　who　rack　invention　to　excite　appetite；　and　yet　which　you　cannot　procure！　　Remember　how　simple　are　the　means　that　will　give　a　crust　of　mouldy　bread　a　flavour　more　exquisite　than　all　the　spices　of　the　East；　or　all　the　profusion　of　land　or　sea！　　Remember　this；　grow　hungry；　and　indulge　your　sensuality。

Alas！　my　enjoyment　was　of　short　duration。　　I　soon　found　that　excess　is　followed　by　pain　and　repentance。　　My　fasting　had　weakened　digestion；　and　rendered　it　inactive。　　My　body　swelled；　my　water…jug　was　emptied；　cramps；　colics；　and　at　length　inordinate　thirst　racked　me　all　the　night。　　I　began　to　pour　curses　on　those　who　seemed　to　refine　on　torture；　and；　after　starving　me　so　long；　to　invite　me　to　gluttony。　　Could　I　not　have　reclined　on　my　bed；　I　should　indeed　have　been　driven；　this　night；　to　desperation；　yet　even　this　was　but　a　partial　relief；　for；　not　yet　accustomed　to　my　enormous　fetters；　I　could　not　extend　myself　in　the　same　manner　I　was　afterwards　taught　to　do　by　habit。　　I　dragged　them；　however；　so　together　as　to　enable　me　to　sit　down　on　the　bare　mattress。　　This；　of　all　my　nights　of　suffering；　stands　foremost。　　When　they　opened　my　dungeon　next　day　they　found　me　in　a　truly　pitiable　situation；　wondered　at　my　appetite；　brought　me　another　loaf；　I　refused　to　accept　it；　believing　I　nevermore　should　have　occasion　for　bread；　they；　however；　left　me　one；　gave　me　water；　shrugged　up　their　shoulders；　wished　me　farewell；　as；　according　to　all　appearance；　they　never　expected　to　find　me　alive；　and　shut　all　the　doors；　without　asking　whether　I　wished　or　needed　further　assistance。

Three　days　had　passed　before　I　could　again　eat　a　morsel　of　bread；　and　my　mind；　brave　in　health；　now　in　a　sick　body　became　pusillanimous；　so　that　I　determined　on　death。　　The　irons；　everywhere　round　my　body；　and　their　weight；　were　insupportable；　nor　could　I　imagine　it　was　possible　I　should　habituate　myself　to　them；　or　endure　them　long　enough　to　expect　deliverance。　　Peace　was　a　very　distant　prospect。　　The　King　had　commanded　that　such　a　prison　should　be　built　as　should　exclude　all　necessity　of　a　sentinel；　in　order　that　I　might　not　converse　with　and　seduce　them　from　what　is　called　their　duty：　and；　in　the　first　days　of　despair；　deliverance　appeared　impossible；　and　the　fetters；　the　war；　the　pain　I　felt；　the　place；　the　length　of　time；　each　circumstance　seemed　equally　impossible　to　support。　　A　thousand　reasons　convinced　me　it　was　necessary　to　end　my　sufferings。　I　shall　not　enter　into　theological　disputes：　　let　those　who　blame　me　imagine　themselves　in　my　situation；　or　rather　let　them　first　actually　endure　my　miseries；　and　then　let　them　reason。　　I　had　often　braved　death　in　prosperity；　and　at　this　moment　it　seemed　a　blessing。

Full　of　these　meditations；　every　minute's　patience　appeared　absurdity；　and　resolution　meanness　of　soul；　yet　I　wished　my　mind　should　be　satisfied　that　reason；　and　not　rashness；　had　induced　the　act。　　I　therefore　determined；　that　I　might　examine　the　question　coolly；　to　wait　a　week　longer；　and　die　on　the　fourth　of　July。　　In　the　meantime　I　revolved　in　my　mind　what　possible　means　there　were　of　escape；　not　fearing；　naked　and　chained；　to　rush　and　expire　on　the　bayonets　of　my　enemies。

The　next　day　I　observed；　as　the　four　doors　were　opened；　that　th