the history of john bull-第15部分

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t　just　upon　my　borders？　　＇And　so　he　will　be　if　I　purchase　a　thousand　acres　more；　unless　he　gets　somebody　betwixt　them。＇　　I　tell　thee；　friend　John；　thou　hast　flatterers　that　persuade　thee　that　thou　art　a　man　of　business；　do　not　believe　them。　　If　thou　wouldst　still　leave　thy　affairs　in　my　hands；　thou　shouldst　see　how　handsomely　I　would　deal　by　thee。　　That　ever　thou　shouldst　be　dazzled　with　the　enchanted　islands　and　mountains　of　gold　that　old　Lewis　promises　thee！　　'Dswounds！　why　dost　thou　not　lay　out　thy　money　to　purchase　a　place　at　court　of　honest　Israel？　　I　tell　thee；　thou　must　not　so　much　as　think　of　a　composition。　　＇Not　think　of　a　composition；　that's　hard　indeed；　I　can't　help　thinking　of　it；　if　I　would。＇　　Thou　complainest　of　want　of　moneylet　thy　wife　and　daughters　burn　the　gold　lace　of　their　petticoats；　sell　thy　fat　cattle；　retrench　but　a　sirloin　of　beef　and　a　peck…loaf　in　a　week　from　thy　gormandising。　＇Retrench　my　beefa　dog！　　Retrench　my　beef；　then　it　is　plain　the　rascal　has　an　ill　design　upon　mehe　would　starve　me。＇　　Mortgage　thy　manor　of　Bullock's　Hatch；　or　pawn　thy　crop　for　ten　years。　　＇A　rogue！　part　with　my　country…seat；　my　patrimony；　all　that　I　have　left　in　the　world；　I'll　see　him　hanged　first。＇　　Why　hast　thou　changed　thy　attorney？　　Can　any　man　manage　thy　cause　better　for　thee？　　＇Very　pleasant！　because　a　man　has　a　good　attorney；　he　must　never　make　an　end　of　his　law…suit。＇　　Ah；　John！　John！　I　wish　thou　knewest　thine　own　mind。　　Thou　art　as　fickle　as　the　wind。　　I　tell　thee；　thou　hadst　better　let　this　composition　alone；　or　leave　it　to　thy　　　　　　Loving　friend；　　　　　　　　　　　Nic。　FROG。

*　A　letter　from　the　States…General。　**　Alluding　to　the　Rebellion。　***　The　Dutch　prohibition　of　trade。



CHAPTER　X。　　Of　some　extraordinary　Things*　that　passed　at　the　〃Salutation〃　Tavern；　in　the　Conference　between　Bull；　Frog；　Esquire　South；　and　Lewis　Baboon。

*　The　Treaty　of　Utrecht：　　the　difficulty　to　get　them　to　meet。　　When　met；　the　Dutch　would　not　speak　their　sentiments；　nor　the　French　deliver　in　their　proposals。　　The　House　of　Austria　talked　very　high。

Frog　had　given　his　word　that　he　would　meet　the　above…mentioned　company　at　the　〃Salutation；〃　to　talk　of　this　agreement。　　Though　he　durst　not　directly　break　his　appointment；　he　made　many　a　shuffling　excuse：　　one　time　he　pretended　to　be　seized　with　the　gout　in　his　right　knee；　then　he　got　a　great　cold；　that　had　struck　him　deaf　of　one　ear；　afterwards　two　of　his　coach…horses　fell　sick；　and　he　durst　not　go　by　water；　for　fear　of　catching　an　ague。　　John　would　take　no　excuse；　but　hurried　him　away。　　〃Come；　Nic。；〃　says　he；　〃let's　go　and　hear　at　least　what　this　old　fellow　has　to　propose；　I　hope　there's　no　hurt　in　that。〃　　〃Be　it　so；〃　quoth　Nic。；　〃but　if　I　catch　any　harm；　woe　be　to　you；　my　wife　and　children　will　curse　you　as　long　as　they　live。〃　　When　they　were　come　to　the　〃Salutation；〃　John　concluded　all　was　sure　then；　and　that　he　should　be　troubled　no　more　with　law　affairs。　　He　thought　everybody　as　plain　and　sincere　as　he　was。　〃Well；　neighbours；〃　quoth　he；　〃let's　now　make　an　end　of　all　matters；　and　live　peaceably　together　for　the　time　to　come。　　If　everybody　is　as　well　inclined　as　I；　we　shall　quickly　come　to　the　upshot　of　our　affair。〃　　And　so；　pointing　to　Frog　to　say　something；　to　the　great　surprise　of　all　the　company；　Frog　was　seized　with　a　dead　palsy　in　the　tongue。　　John　began　to　ask　him　some　plain　questions；　and　whooped　and　hallooed　in　his　ear：　　〃Let's　come　to　the　point。　　Nic。；　who　wouldst　thou　have　to　be　Lord　Strutt？　　Wouldst　thou　have　Philip　Baboon？〃　　Nic。　shook　his　head；　and　said　nothing。　　〃Wilt　thou；　then；　have　Esquire　South　to　be　Lord　Strutt？〃　　Nic。　shook　his　head　a　second　time。　　〃Then　who　the　devil　wilt　thou　have？　　Say　something　or　another。〃　　Nic。　opened　his　mouth　and　pointed　to　his　tongue；　and　cried；　〃A；　a；　a；　a！〃　which　was　as　much　as　to　say　he　could　not　speak。

JOHN　BULL。〃Shall　I　serve　Philip　Baboon　with　broadcloth；　and　accept　of　the　composition　that　he　offers；　with　the　liberty　of　his　parks　and　fishponds？〃　　Then　Nic。　roared　like　a　bull；　〃O；　o；　o；　o！〃

JOHN　BULL。〃If　thou　wilt　not　let　me　have　them；　wilt　thou　take　them　thyself？〃　　　Then　Nic。　grinned；　cackled；　and　laughed；　till　he　was　like　to　kill　himself；　and　seemed　to　be　so　pleased　that　he　fell　a　frisking　and　dancing　about　the　room。

JOHN　BULL。〃Shall　I　leave　all　this　matter　to　thy　management；　Nic。；　and　go　about　my　business？〃　　Then　Nic。　got　up　a　glass　and　drank　to　John；　shaking　him　by　the　hand　till　he　had　like　to　have　shook　his　shoulder　out　of　joint。

JOHN　BULL。〃I　understand　thee；　Nic。；　but　I　shall　make　thee　speak　before　I　go。〃　　Then　Nic。　put　his　finger　in　his　cheek　and　made　it　cry　〃buck！〃　which　was　as　much　as　to　say；　〃I　care　not　a　farthing　for　thee。〃

JOHN　BULL。〃I　have　done；　Nic。；　if　thou　wilt　not　speak；　I'll　make　my　own　terms　with　old　Lewis　here。〃

John；　perceiving　that　Frog　would　not　speak；　turns　to　old　Lewis：　〃Since　we　cannot　make　this　obstinate　fellow　speak；　Lewis；　pray　condescend　a　little　to　his　humour；　and　set　down　thy　meaning　upon　paper；　that　he　may　answer　it　in　another　scrap。〃

〃I　am　infinitely　sorry；〃　quoth　Lewis；　〃that　it　happens　so　unfortunately；　for；　playing　a　little　at　cudgels　t'other　day；　a　fellow　has　given　me　such　a　rap　over　the　right　arm　that　I　am　quite　lame。　　I　have　lost　the　use　of　my　forefinger　and　my　thumb；　so　that　I　cannot　hold　my　pen。〃

JOHN　BULL。〃That's　all　one；　let　me　write　for　you。〃

LEWIS。〃But　I　have　a　misfortune　that　I　cannot　read　anybody's　hand　but　my　own。〃

JOHN　BULL。〃Try　what　you　can　do　with　your　left　hand。〃

LEWIS。〃That's　impossible；　it　will　make　such　a　scrawl　that　it　will　not　be　legible。〃

As　they　were　talking　of　this　matter；　in　came　Esquire　South；　all　dressed　up　in　feathers　and　ribbons；　stark　staring　mad；　brandishing　his　sword；　as　if　he　would　have　cut　off　their　heads；　crying　〃Room；　room；　boys；　for　the　grand　esquire　of　the　world！　the　flower　of　esquires！　　What！　covered　in　my　presence？　　I'll　crush　your　souls；　and　crack　you　like　lice！〃　　With　that　he　had　like　to　have　struck　John　Bull's　hat　into　the　fire；　but　John；　who　was　pretty　strong…fisted；　gave　him　such　a　squeeze　as　made　his　eyes　water。　　He　went　on　still　in　his　mad　pranks：　　〃When　I　am　lord　of　the　universe；　the　sun　shall　prostrate　and　adore　me！　　Thou；　Frog；　shalt　be　my　bailiff；　Lewis　my　tailor；　and　thou；　John　Bull；　shalt　be　my　fool！〃

All　this　while　Frog　laughed　in　his　sleeve；　gave　the　esquire　the　other　noggan　of　brandy；　and　clapped　him　on　the　back；　which　made　him　ten　times　madder。

Poor　John　stood　in　amaze；　talking　thus　to　himself：　　〃Well；　John；　thou　art　got　into　rare　company！　　One　has　a　dumb　devil；　the　other　a　mad　devil；　and　the　third　a　spirit　of　infirmity。　　An　honest　man　has　a　fine　time　on　it　amongst　such　rogues。　　What　art　thou　asking　of　them　after　all？　　Some　mighty　boon　one　would　think！　only　to　sit　quietly　at　thy　own　fireside。　　What　have　I　to　do　with　such　fellows？　　John　Bull；　after　all　his　losses　and　crosses；　can　live　better　without　them　than　they　can　without　him。　　Would　I　lived　a　thousand　leagues　off　them！　but　the　devil's　in　it；　John　Bull　is　in；　and　John　Bull　must　get　out　as　well　as　he　can。〃

As　he　was　talking　to　himself；　he　observed　Frog　and　old　Lewis　edging　towards　one　another　to　whisper；*　so　that　John　was　forced　to　sit　with　his　arms　akimbo；　to　keep　them　asunder。

*　Some　attempts　of　secret　negotiation　between　the　French　and　the　Dutch。

Some　people　advised　John　to　bleed　Frog　under　the　tongue；　or　take　away　his　bread…and…butter；　which　would　certainly　make　him　speak；　to　give　Esquire　South　hellebore；　as　for　Lewis；　some　were　for　emollient　poultices；　others　for　opening　his　arm　with　an　incision　knife。



CHAPTER　XI。*　　The　apprehending；　examination；　and　imprisonment　of　Jack　for　suspicion　of　poisoning。

*　The　four　following　chapters　contain　the　history　of　passing　the　Bill　against　Occasional　Conformity；　and　of　the　Whigs　agreeing　to　it。

The　attentive　reader　cannot　have　forgot　that　the　story　of　Van　Ptschirnsooker's　powder　was　interrupted　by　a　message　from　Frog。　　I　have　a　natural　compassion　for　curiosity；　being　much　troubled　with　the　distemper　myself；　therefore　to　gratify　that　uneasy　itching　sensation　in　my　reader；　I　have　procured　the　following　account　of　that　matter。

Van　Ptschirnsooker　came　off　（as　rogues　usually　do　upon　such　occasions）　by　peaching　his　partner；　and　being　extremely　forward　to　bring　him　to　the　gallows；　Jack*　was　accused　as　the　contriver　of　all　the　roguery。　　And；　indeed；　it　happened　unfortunately　for　the　poor　fellow；　that　he　was　known　to　bear　a　most　inveterate　spite　against　the　old　gentlewoman；　and；　consequently；　that　never　any　ill　accident　happened　to　her　but　he　was　suspected　to　be　at　the　bottom　of　it。　　If　she　pricked　her　finger；　Jack；　to　be　sure；　laid　the　pin　in　the　way；　if　some　noise　in　the　street　disturbed　her　rest；　who　could　it　be　but　Jack　in　some　of　his　nocturnal　rambles？　　If　a　servant　ran　away；　Jack　had　debauched　him。　　Every　idle　tittle…tattle　that　went　about；　Jack　was　always　suspected　for　the　author　of　it。　　However；　all　was　nothing　to　this　last　affair　of　the　temperating；　moderating　powder。

*　All　the　misfortunes　of　the　Church　charged　upon　the　Puritan　party。

The　hue　and　cry　went　after　Jack　to　apprehend　him　dead　or　alive；　wherever　he　could　be　found。　　The　constables　looked　out　for　him　in　all　his　usual　haunts；　but　to