the history of john bull-第9部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！

t；　because　Lewis　is　poor；　another；　because　he　is　still　too　rich：　whom　shall　I　believe？　　I　am　sure　of　one　thing；　that　a　penny　in　the　purse　is　the　best　friend　John　can　have　at　last；　and　who　can　say　that　this　will　be　the　last　suit　I　shall　be　engaged　in？　　Besides；　if　this　ejectment　were　practicable　is　it　reasonable　that；　when　Esquire　South　is　losing　his　money　to　sharpers　and　pickpockets；　going　about　the　country　with　fiddlers　and　buffoons；　and　squandering　his　income　with　hawks　and　dogs；　I　should　lay　out　the　fruits　of　my　honest　industry　in　a　lawsuit　for　him；　only　upon　the　hopes　of　being　his　clothier？　　And　when　the　cause　is　over　I　shall　not　have　the　benefit　of　my　project　for　want　of　money　to　go　to　market。　　Look　ye；　gentlemen；　John　Bull　is　but　a　plain　man；　but　John　Bull　knows　when　he　is　ill　used。　　I　know　the　infirmity　of　our　family：　　we　are　apt　to　play　the　boon…companion　and　throw　away　our　money　in　our　cups。　　But　it　was　an　unfair　thing　in　you；　gentlemen；　to　take　advantage　of　my　weakness；　to　keep　a　parcel　of　roaring　bullies　about　me　day　and　night；　with　huzzas　and　hunting　horns；　and　ringing　the　changes　on　butcher's　cleavers；　never　let　me　cool；　and　make　me　set　my　hand　to　papers　when　I　could　hardly　hold　my　pen。　　There　will　come　a　day　of　reckoning　for　all　that　proceeding。　In　the　meantime；　gentlemen；　I　beg　you　will　let　me　into　my　affairs　a　little；　and　that　you　would　not　grudge　me　the　small　remainder　of　a　very　great　estate。



CHAPTER　XVII。　　Esquire　South's　Message　and　Letter　to　Mrs。　Bull。*

*　Complaints　of　the　deficiencies　of　the　House　of　Austria；　Prince　Eugene's　journey　and　message。

The　arguments　used　by　Hocus　and　the　rest　of　the　guardians　had　hitherto　proved　insufficient。　　John　and　his　wife　could　not　be　persuaded　to　bear　the　expense　of　Esquire　South's　lawsuit。　　They　thought　it　reasonable　that；　since　he　was　to　have　the　honour　and　advantage；　he　should　bear　the　greatest　share　of　the　charges；　and　retrench　what　he　lost　to　sharpers　and　spent　upon　country　dances　and　puppet　plays　to　apply　it　to　that　use。　　This　was　not　very　grateful　to　the　esquire；　therefore；　as　the　last　experiment；　he　was　resolved　to　send　Signior　Benenato；　master　of　his　foxhounds；　to　Mrs。　Bull　to　try　what　good　he　could　do　with　her。　　This　Signior　Benenato　had　all　the　qualities　of　a　fine　gentleman　that　were　set　to　charm　a　lady's　heart；　and　if　any　person　in　the　world　could　have　persuaded　her　it　was　he。　But　such　was　her　unshaken　fidelity　to　her　husband；　and　the　constant　purpose　of　her　mind　to　pursue　his　interest；　that　the　most　refined　arts　of　gallantry　that　were　practised　could　not　seduce　her　heart。　The　necklaces；　diamond　crosses；　and　rich　bracelets　that　were　offered　she　rejected　with　the　utmost　scorn　and　disdain。　　The　music　and　serenades　that　were　given　her　sounded　more　ungratefully　in　her　ears　than　the　noise　of　a　screech　owl。　　However；　she　received　Esquire　South's　letter　by　the　hands　of　Signior　Benenato　with　that　respect　which　became　his　quality。　　The　copy　of　the　letter　is　as　follows；　in　which　you　will　observe　he　changes　a　little　his　usual　style：

MADAM；The　Writ　of　Ejectment　against　Philip　Baboon　（pretended　Lord　Strutt）　is　just　ready　to　pass。　　There　want　but　a　few　necessary　forms　and　a　verdict　or　two　more　to　put　me　in　the　quiet　possession　of　my　honour　and　estate。　　I　question　not　but　that；　according　to　your　wonted　generosity　and　goodness；　you　will　give　it　the　finishing　stroke：　　an　honour　that　I　would　grudge　anybody　but　yourself。　　In　order　to　ease　you　of　some　part　of　the　charges；　I　promise　to　furnish　pen；　ink；　and　paper；　provided　you　pay　for　the　stamps。　　Besides；　I　have　ordered　my　stewards　to　pay　out　of　the　readiest　and　best　of　my　rents　five　pounds　ten　shillings　a　year　till　my　suit　is　finished。　　I　wish　you　health　and　happiness；　being　with　due　respect；　　　　　　Madam；　your　assured　friend；　　　　　　　　　　　SOUTH。

What　answer　Mrs。　Bull　returned　to　this　letter　you　shall　know　in　my　second　part；　only　they　were　at　a　pretty　good　distance　in　their　proposals；　for　as　Esquire　South　only　offered　to　be　at　the　charges　of　pen；　ink；　and　paper；　Mrs。　Bull　refused　any　more　than　to　lend　her　barge*　to　carry　his　counsel　to　Westminster　Hall。

*　Sending　the　English　Fleet　to　convoy　the　forces　to　Barcelona。



PART　II。


THE　PUBLISHER'S　PREFACE。

The　world　is　much　indebted　to　the　famous　Sir　Humphry　Polesworth　for　his　ingenious　and　impartial　account　of　John　Bull's　lawsuit。　　Yet　there　is　just　cause　of　complaint　against　him；　in　that　he　relates　it　only　by　parcels；　and　won't　give　us　the　whole　work。　　This　forces　me；　who　am　only　the　publisher；　to　bespeak　the　assistance　of　his　friends　and　acquaintance　to　engage　him　to　lay　aside　that　stingey　humour　and　gratify　the　curiosity　of　the　public　at　once。　　He　pleads　in　excuse　that　they　are　only　private　memoirs；　wrote　for　his　own　use　in　a　loose　style　to　serve　as　a　help　to　his　ordinary　conversation。　　I　represented　to　him　the　good　reception　the　first　part　had　met　with；　that；　though　calculated　only　for　the　meridian　of　Grub　Street；　it　was　yet　taken　notice　of　by　the　better　sort；　that　the　world　was　now　sufficiently　acquainted　with　John　Bull；　and　interested　itself　in　his　concerns。　　He　answered　with　a　smile；　that　he　had；　indeed；　some　trifling　things　to　impart　that　concerned　John　Bull's　relations　and　domestic　affairs。　　If　these　would　satisfy　me　he　gave　me　free　leave　to　make　use　of　them；　because　they　would　serve　to　make　the　history　of　the　lawsuit　more　intelligible。　　When　I　had　looked　over　the　manuscript　I　found　likewise　some　further　account　of　the　composition；　which；　perhaps；　may　not　be　unacceptable　to　such　as　have　read　the　former　part。



CHAPTER　I。　　The　Character　of　John　Bull's　Mother。*

*　The　Church　of　England。

John　had　a　mother　whom　he　loved　and　honoured　extremely；　a　discreet；　grave；　sober；　good…conditioned；　cleanly　old　gentlewoman　as　ever　lived。　　She　was　none　of　your　cross…grained；　termagant；　scolding　jades　that　one　had　as　good　be　hanged　as　live　in　the　house　with；　such　as　are　always　censuring　the　conduct　and　telling　scandalous　stories　of　their　neighbours；　extolling　their　own　good　qualities　and　undervaluing　those　of　others。　　On　the　contrary；　she　was　of　a　meek　spirit；　and；　as　she　was　strictly　virtuous　herself；　so　she　always　put　the　best　construction　upon　the　words　and　actions　of　her　neighbours；　except　where　they　were　irreconcileable　to　the　rules　of　honesty　and　decency。　　She　was　neither　one　of　your　precise　prudes；　nor　one　of　your　fantastical　old　belles　that　dress　themselves　like　girls　of　fifteen；　as　she　neither　wore　a　ruff；　forehead…cloth；　nor　high…crowned　hat；　so　she　had　laid　aside　feathers；　flowers；　and　crimpt　ribbons　in　her　head…dress；　furbelow…scarfs；　and　hooped…petticoats。　　She　scorned　to　patch　and　paint；　yet　she　loved　to　keep　her　hands　and　her　face　clean。　　Though　she　wore　no　flaunting　laced　ruffles；　she　would　not　keep　herself　in　a　constant　sweat　with　greasy　flannel。　　Though　her　hair　was　not　stuck　with　jewels；　she　was　not　ashamed　of　a　diamond　cross；　she　was　not；　like　some　ladies；　hung　about　with　toys　and　trinkets；　tweezer…cases；　pocket…glasses；　and　essence…bottles；　she　used　only　a　gold　watch　and　an　almanack　to　mark　the　hours　and　the　holy　days。

Her　furniture　was　neat　and　genteel；　well　fancied　with　a　bon　gout。　As　she　affected　not　the　grandeur　of　a　state　with　a　canopy；　she　thought　there　was　no　offence　in　an　elbow…chair。　　She　had　laid　aside　your　carving；　gilding；　and　Japan　work　as　being　too　apt　to　gather　dirt。　　But　she　never　could　be　prevailed　upon　to　part　with　plain　wainscot　and　clean　hangings。　　There　are　some　ladies　that　affect　to　smell　a　stink　in　everything；　they　are　always　highly　perfumed；　and　continually　burning　frankincense　in　their　rooms。　　She　was　above　such　affectation；　yet　she　never　would　lay　aside　the　use　of　brooms　and　scrubbing…brushes；　and　scrupled　not　to　lay　her　linen　in　fresh　lavender。

She　was　no　less　genteel　in　her　behaviour；　well…bred；　without　affectation；　in　the　due　mean　between　one　of　your　affected；　curtseying　pieces　of　formality　and　your　romps　that　have　no　regard　to　the　common　rules　of　civility。　　There　are　some　ladies　that　affect　a　mighty　regard　for　their　relations。　　〃We　must　not　eat　to…day；　for　my　uncle　Tom；　or　my　cousin　Betty；　died　this　time　ten　years。　　Let's　have　a　ball　to…night；　it　is　my　neighbour　Such…a…one's　birthday。〃　　She　looked　upon　all　this　as　grimace；　yet　she　constantly　observed　her　husband's　birthday；　her　wedding…day；　and　some　few　more。

Though　she　was　a　truly　good　woman；　and　had　a　sincere　motherly　love　for　her　son　John；　yet　there　wanted　not　those　who　endeavoured　to　create　a　misunderstanding　between　them；　and　they　had　so　far　prevailed　with　him　once　that　he　turned　her　out　of　doors；　to　his　great　sorrow；　as　he　found　afterwards；　for　his　affairs　went　on　at　sixes　and　sevens。

She　was　no　less　judicious　in　the　turn　of　her　conversation　and　choice　of　her　studies；　in　which　she　far　exceeded　all　her　sex。　　Your　rakes　that　hate　the　company　of　all　sober；　grave　gentlewomen　would　bear　hers；　and　she　would；　by　her　handsome　manner　of　proceeding；　sooner　reclaim　than　some　that　were　more　sour　and　reserved。　　She　was　a　zealous　preacher　up　of　conjugal　fidelity　in　wives；　and　by　no　means　a　friend　to　the　new…fangled　doctrine　of　the　indispensable　duty　of　change。　　Though　she　advanced　her　opinions　with　a　becoming　assurance；　yet　she　never　ushered　them　in　as　some　posit