jeremy-第30部分

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caught：　of　cows；　horses；　walls；　and　treesas　though　in　a　kind　of
magic　mirror。

Another　thing　that　Jeremy　felt　there；　was　that　he　was　in　a　glass
cage　swinging　over　the　whole　world。　If　one　shut　one's　eyes　one　could
easily　fancy　that　one　was　swinging　outswingingswinging；　and
that；　suddenly　perhaps；　the　cage　would　be　detached　from　the　house
and　go　sailing；　like　a　magic　carpet；　to　Arabia　and　Persia；　and
anywhere　you　pleased　to　command。

To…day　the　glass　burnt　like　fire；　and　the　green　fields　came　floating
up　to　bo　transfigured　there　like　running　water。　The　house　was
utterly　still；　the　red　glass　door　shut　off　the　world。　Jeremy　sat；
his　arms　tightly　round　Hamlet's　neck；　on　the　dirty　floor；　a　strange
mixture　of　misery；　weariness；　fright；　and　anger。　There　was　already
in　him　a　strain　of　impatience；　so　that　he　could　not　bear　simply　to
sit　down　and　bewail　something　as；　for　instance；　both　his　sisters
were　doing　at　this　moment。　He　must　act。　They　could　not　bo　happy
without　their　mother；　he　himself　wanted　her　so　badly　that　even　now；
there　in　the　flaming　conservatory；　if　he　had　allowed　himself　to　do
such　a　thing；　he　would　have　sat　and　cried　and　cried　and　cried。　But
he　was　not　going　to　cry。　Mary　and　Helen　could　crythey　were　girls；
he　was　going　to　do　something。

As　he　sat　there；　getting　hotter　and　hotter；　there　grew；　larger　and
larger　before　his　eyes；　the　figure　of　Terrible　God。　That　image　of
Someone　of　a　vast　size　sitting　in　the　red…hot　sky；　his　white　beard
flowing；　his　eyes　frowning；　grew　ever　more　and　more　awful。　Jeremy
stared　up　into　the　glass；　his　eyes　blinking；　the　sweat　beginning　to
pour　down　his　nose；　and　yet　his　body　shivering　with　terror。　But　he
had　strung　himself　up　to　meet　Him。　Somehow　he　was　going　to　save　his
mother　and　hinder　her　departure。　At　an　instant；　inside　him；　he　was
crying：　〃I　want　my　mother！　I　want　my　mother！〃　like　a　little　boy　who
had　been　left　in　the　street；　and　at　the　other；　〃You　shan't　have　her！
You　shan't　have　her！〃　as　though　someone　were　trying　to　steal　his
Toy…Village　or　Hamlet　away　from　him。　His　sleepy；　bemused；　heated
brain　wandered；　in　dazed　fashion；　back　to　his　father's　sermon　of
that　morning。　Abraham　and　Isaac！　Abraham　and　Isaac！

Abraham　and　Isaac！　Suddenly；　as　though　through　the　flaming　glass
something　had　been　flung　to　him；　an　idea　came。　Perhaps　God；　that
huge；　ugly　God　was　teasing　the　Coles　just　as　once　He　had　teased
Abraham。　Perhaps　He　wished　to　see　whether　they　were　truly　obedient
as　the　Jampot　had　sometimes　wished　in　the　old　days。　He　was　only；　it
might　be；　pretending。　Perhaps　He　was　demanding　that　one　of　them
should　give　up　somethingsomething　of　great　value。　Even　Jeremy；
himself！　。　。　。

If　he　had　to　sacrifice　something　to　save　his　mother；　what　would　be
the　hardest　sacrifice？　Would　it　be　his　Toy…　Village；　or　Mary　or
Helen；　or　his　soldiers；　or　his　paint…　box；　or　his　gold　fish　that　he
had　in　a　bowl；　orNo；　of　course；　he　had　known　from　the　first　what
would　be　hardestit　would；　of　course；　be　Hamlet。

At　this　stage　in　his　thinking　he　removed　his　arm　from　Hamlet's　neck
and　looked　at　the　animal。　At　the　same　moment　the　light　that　had
filled　the　glass…house　with　a　fiery　radiance　that　burnt　to　the　very
heart　of　the　place　was　clouded。　Above；　in　the　sky；　black；　smoky
clouds；　rolling　in　fold　after　fold；　as　though　some　demon　were
flinging　them　out　across　the　sky　as　one　flings　a　carpet；　piled　up
and　up；　each　one　darker　than　the　last。　The　light　vanished；　the
conservatory　was　filled　with　a　thick；　murky　glow；　and　far　across　the
fields；　from　the　heart　of　the　black　wood；　came　the　low　rumble　of
thunder。　But　Jeremy　did　not　hear　that；　he　was　busy　with　his
thoughts。　lie　stared　at　the　dog；　who　was　lying　stretched　out　on　the
dirty　floor；　his　nose　between　his　toes。　It　cannot　truthfully　be　said
that　the　resolve　that　was　forming　in　Jeremy's　head　had　its　birth　in
any　fine；　noble　idealisms。　It　was　as　though　some　bully；　seizing　his
best　marbles；　had　said：　〃I'll　give　you　these　back　if　you　hand　over
this　week's　pocket…money！〃　His　attitude　to　the　bully　could　not
truthfully　be　described　as　one　of　homage　or　reverence；　rather　was　it
one　of　anger　and　impotent　rebellion。

He　loved　Hamlet；　and　he　loved　his　mother　more　than　Hamlet；　but　he
was　not　moved　by　sentiment。　Grimly；　his　legs　apart；　his　eyes　shut
tight；　as　they　were　when　he　said　his　prayers；　he　made　his　challenge。

〃I'll　give　you　Hamlet　if　you　don't　take　Mother〃　A　pause。　〃Only　I
can't　cut　Hamlet's　throat。　But　I　could　lose　him；　if　that　would　do。　。
。　Only　you　must　take　him　nowI　couldn't　do　it　to…morrow。〃　His　voice
began　to　tremble。　He　was　frightened。　He　could　feel　behind　his　closed
eyes　that　the　darkness　had　gathered。　The　place　seemed　to　be　filled
with　rolling　smoke；　and　the　house　was　so　terribly　still！

He　said　again：　〃You　can　take　Hamlet。　He's　my　best　thing。　You　can
You　can〃

There　followed　then；　with　the　promptitude　of　a　most　admirably
managed　theatrical　climax；　a　peal　of　thunder　that　seemed　to　strike
the　house　with　the　iron　hand　of　a　giant。　Two　more　came；　and　then；
for　a　second；　a　silence；　more　deadly　than　all　the　earlier　havoc。

Jeremy　felt　that　God　had　leapt　upon　him。　He　opened　his　eyes；　turned
as　though　to　run；　and　then　saw；　with　a　freezing　check　upon　the　very
beat　of　his　heart；　that　Hamlet　was　gone。




V


There　was　no　Hamlet！

In　that　second　of　frantic　unreasoning　terror　he　received　a
conviction　of　God　that　no　rationalistic　training　in　later　years　was
able　to　remove。

There　was　no　Hamlet！only　the　dusky　dirty　place　with　a　black
torrent…driven　world　beyond　it。　With　a　rush　as　of　a　thousand　whips
slashing　the　air；　the　rain　came　down　upon　the　glass。　Jeremy　turned；
crying　〃Mother！　Mother！　I　want　Mother！〃　and　flung　himself　at　the　red
glass　doors；　fumbling　in　his　terror　for　the　handle；　he　felt　as
though　the　end　of　the　world　had　come；　such　a　panic　had　seized　him　as
only　belongs　to　the　most　desperate　of　nightmares。　God　had　answered
him。　Hamlet　was　gone　and　in　a　moment　Jeremy　himself　might　be
seized　。　。　。

He　felt　frantically　for　the　door；　he　beat　upon　the　glass。

He　cried　〃Mother！　Mother！　Mother！〃

He　had　found　the　door；　but　just　as　he　turned　the　handle　he　was　aware
of　a　new　sound；　heard　distantly；　through　the　rain。　Looking　back　he
saw；　from　behind　a　rampart　of　dusty　flower…pots；　first　a　head；　then
a　rough　tousled　body；　then　a　tail　that　might　be　recognised　amongst
all　the　tails　of　Christendom。

Hamlet　（who　had　trained　himself　to　meet　with　a　fine　natural　show　of
bravery　every　possible　violence　save　only　thunder）　crept　ashamed；
dirty　and　smiling　towards　his　master。　God　had　only　played　His　trick…
…Abraham　and　Isaac　after　all。

Then　with　a　fine　sense　of　victory　and　defiance　Jeremy　turned　back；
looked　up　at　the　slashing　rain；　gazed　out　upon　the　black　country；　at
last　seized　Hamlet　and　dragging　him　out　by　his　hind…legs；　knelt
there　in　the　dust　and　suffered　himself　to　be　licked　until　his　face
was　as　though　a　snail　had　crossed　over　it。

The　thunder　passed。　Blue　pushed　up　into　the　grey。　A　cool　air　blew
through　the　world。

Nevertheless；　deep　in　his　heart；　the　terror　remained。　In　that　moment
he　had　met　God　face　to　face；　he　had　delivered　his　first　challenge。

P。S。To　the　incredulous　and　cynical　of　heart　authoritative　evidence
can　be　shown　to　prove　that　it　was　on　the　evening　of　that　Sunday　that
Mrs。　Cole　turned　the　corner　towards　recovery。




CHAPTER　VIII

TO　COW　FARM！


I


This　next　episode　in　Jeremy's　year　has；　be　it　thoroughly　understood；
no　plot　nor　climax　to　itit　is　simply　the　chronicle　of　an　Odyssey。
Nor　can　it　be　said　to　have　been　anything　but　a　very　ordinary　Odyssey
to　the　outside　observer　who；　if　he　be　a　parent；　will　tell　you　that
going　to　the　seaside　with　the　family　is　the　most　bothering　thing　in
the　world；　and　if　he　is　a　bachelor　or　old　maid　will　tell　you　that
being　in　the　same　carriage　with　other　people's　children　who　are
going　to　the　sea　is　an　abominable　business　and　the　Law　ought　to　have
something　to　say　to　it。

All　through　May；　June　and　July　Mrs。　Cole　slowly　pulled　back　to
something　like　her　natural　health。　The　new　infant；　Barbara　by　name；
was　as　strong　as　a　pony；　and　kicked　and　screamed　and　roared　so　that
the　house　was　quite　a　new　place。　Her　arrival　had　done　a　great　deal
for　Helen；　whose　gaze　had　hitherto　been　concentrated　entirely　upon
herself；　now　she　suddenly　discovered　a　new　element　in　life；　and　it
was　found　that　she　was　〃ideal　with　a　baby〃　and　〃a　great　help　to
nurse。〃　This　made　her　more　human；　and　Barbara；　realising　as　babies
always　do　who　understands　and　who　does　not；　would　behave　with　Helen
when　she　would　behave　with　no　one　else。　Mary　could　not　be　expected
to　transfer　her　allegiance　from　Jeremy；　and　then　Barbara　was
frightened　at　her　spectacles；　Jeremy；　having　Hamlet；　did　not　need　a
baby！

There　came　a　fine　hot　morning　towards　the　end　of　July　when　Miss
Jones　said；　suddenly；　in　the　middle　of　the　history　lesson：　〃Saturday
week　we　go　to　Rafiel。〃　Jeremy　choked；　kicked　Mary　under　the　table；
and　was　generally　impossible　during　the　rest　of　the　morning。　It　was
Miss　Jones's　fault；　she　should　have　chosen　her　occasion　more
carefully。　Before　the　evening　Jeremy　was　standing　in　the　corner　for
drawing　on　his　bedroom　wall…pa