end of the tether-第19部分

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A　pilot…fisha　pilota　。　。　。　　But　if　not　superior



knowledge　then　。　。　。







Sterne's　discovery　was　made。　　It　was　repugnant　to　his



imagination；　shocking　to　his　ideas　of　honesty；　shocking



to　his　conception　of　mankind。　　This　enormity　affected



one's　outlook　on　what　was　possible　in　this　world：　it　was



as　if　for　instance　the　sun　had　turned　blue；　throwing　a



new　and　sinister　light　on　men　and　nature。　　Really　in



the　first　moment　he　had　felt　sickish；　as　though　he　had



got　a　blow　below　the　belt：　for　a　second　the　very　color



of　the　sea　seemed　changedappeared　queer　to　his　wan…



dering　eye；　and　he　had　a　passing；　unsteady　sensation　in



all　his　limbs　as　though　the　earth　had　started　turning



the　other　way。







A　very　natural　incredulity　succeeding　this　sense　of



upheaval　brought　a　measure　of　relief。　　He　had　gasped；



it　was　over。　　But　afterwards　during　all　that　day　sudden



paroxysms　of　wonder　would　come　over　him　in　the　midst



of　his　occupations。　　He　would　stop　and　shake　his　head。



The　revolt　of　his　incredulity　had　passed　away　almost　as



quick　as　the　first　emotion　of　discovery；　and　for　the　next



twenty…four　hours　he　had　no　sleep。　　That　would　never



do。　　At　meal…times　（he　took　the　foot　of　the　table　set



up　for　the　white　men　on　the　bridge）　he　could　not　help



losing　himself　in　a　fascinated　contemplation　of　Captain



Whalley　opposite。　　He　watched　the　deliberate　upward



movements　of　the　arm；　the　old　man　put　his　food　to　his



lips　as　though　he　never　expected　to　find　any　taste　in



his　daily　bread；　as　though　he　did　not　know　anything



about　it。　　He　fed　himself　like　a　somnambulist。　　〃It's　an



awful　sight；〃　thought　Sterne；　and　he　watched　the　long



period　of　mournful；　silent　immobility；　with　a　big　brown



hand　lying　loosely　closed　by　the　side　of　the　plate；　till



he　noticed　the　two　engineers　to　the　right　and　left　look…



ing　at　him　in　astonishment。　　He　would　close　his　mouth



in　a　hurry　then；　and　lowering　his　eyes；　wink　rapidly　at



his　plate。　　It　was　awful　to　see　the　old　chap　sitting



there；　it　was　even　awful　to　think　that　with　three　words



he　could　blow　him　up　sky…high。　　All　he　had　to　do　was



to　raise　his　voice　and　pronounce　a　single　short　sentence；



and　yet　that　simple　act　seemed　as　impossible　to　attempt



as　moving　the　sun　out　of　its　place　in　the　sky。　　The　old



chap　could　eat　in　his　terrific　mechanical　way；　but　Sterne；



from　mental　excitement；　could　notnot　that　evening；



at　any　rate。







He　had　had　ample　time　since　to　get　accustomed　to　the



strain　of　the　meal…hours。　　He　would　never　have　believed



it。　　But　then　use　is　everything；　only　the　very　potency



of　his　success　prevented　anything　resembling　elation。



He　felt　like　a　man　who；　in　his　legitimate　search　for　a



loaded　gun　to　help　him　on　his　way　through　the　world；



chances　to　come　upon　a　torpedoupon　a　live　torpedo



with　a　shattering　charge　in　its　head　and　a　pressure　of



many　atmospheres　in　its　tail。　　It　is　the　sort　of　weapon



to　make　its　possessor　careworn　and　nervous。　　He　had



no　mind　to　be　blown　up　himself；　and　he　could　not　get



rid　of　the　notion　that　the　explosion　was　bound　to　damage



him　too　in　some　way。







This　vague　apprehension　had　restrained　him　at　first。



He　was　able　now　to　eat　and　sleep　with　that　fearful



weapon　by　his　side；　with　the　conviction　of　its　power



always　in　mind。　　It　had　not　been　arrived　at　by　any



reflective　process；　but　once　the　idea　had　entered　his



head；　the　conviction　had　followed　overwhelmingly　in　a



multitude　of　observed　little　facts　to　which　before　he　had



given　only　a　languid　attention。　　The　abrupt　and　falter…



ing　intonations　of　the　deep　voice；　the　taciturnity　put



on　like　an　armor；　the　deliberate；　as　if　guarded；　move…



ments；　the　long　immobilities；　as　if　the　man　he　watched



had　been　afraid　to　disturb　the　very　air：　every　familiar



gesture；　every　word　uttered　in　his　hearing；　every　sigh



overheard；　had　acquired　a　special　significance；　a　con…



firmatory　import。







Every　day　that　passed　over　the　Sofala　appeared　to



Sterne　simply　crammed　full　with　proofswith　incon…



trovertible　proofs。　　At　night；　when　off　duty；　he　would



steal　out　of　his　cabin　in　pyjamas　（for　more　proofs）　and



stand　a　full　hour；　perhaps；　on　his　bare　feet　below　the



bridge；　as　absolutely　motionless　as　the　awning　stanchion



in　its　deck　socket　near　by。　　On　the　stretches　of　easy



navigation　it　is　not　usual　for　a　coasting　captain　to　re…



main　on　deck　all　the　time　of　his　watch。　　The　Serang



keeps　it　for　him　as　a　matter　of　custom；　in　open　water；



on　a　straight　course；　he　is　usually　trusted　to　look　after



the　ship　by　himself。　　But　this　old　man　seemed　incapable



of　remaining　quietly　down　below。　　No　doubt　he　could



not　sleep。　　And　no　wonder。　　This　was　also　a　proof。



Suddenly　in　the　silence　of　the　ship　panting　upon　the



still；　dark　sea；　Sterne　would　hear　a　low　voice　above　him



exclaiming　nervously







〃Serang！〃







〃Tuan！〃







〃You　are　watching　the　compass　well？〃







〃Yes；　I　am　watching；　Tuan。〃







〃The　ship　is　making　her　course？〃







〃She　is；　Tuan。　　Very　straight。〃







〃It　is　well；　and　remember；　Serang；　that　the　order



is　that　you　are　to　mind　the　helmsmen　and　keep　a　look…



out　with　care；　the　same　as　if　I　were　not　on　deck。〃







Then；　when　the　Serang　had　made　his　answer；　the　low



tones　on　the　bridge　would　cease；　and　everything　round



Sterne　seemed　to　become　more　still　and　more　profoundly



silent。　　Slightly　chilled　and　with　his　back　aching　a　little



from　long　immobility；　he　would　steal　away　to　his　room



on　the　port　side　of　the　deck。　　He　had　long　since　parted



with　the　last　vestige　of　incredulity；　of　the　original



emotions；　set　into　a　tumult　by　the　discovery；　some　trace



of　the　first　awe　alone　remained。　　Not　the　awe　of　the



man　himselfhe　could　blow　him　up　sky…high　with　six



wordsrather　it　was　an　awestruck　indignation　at　the



reckless　perversity　of　avarice　（what　else　could　it　be？）；



at　the　mad　and　somber　resolution　that　for　the　sake　of　a



few　dollars　more　seemed　to　set　at　naught　the　common



rule　of　conscience　and　pretended　to　struggle　against



the　very　decree　of　Providence。







You　could　not　find　another　man　like　this　one　in　the



whole　round　worldthank　God。　　There　was　something





devilishly　dauntless　in　the　character　of　such　a　deception



which　made　you　pause。







Other　considerations　occurring　to　his　prudence　had



kept　him　tongue…tied　from　day　to　day。　　It　seemed　to



him　now　that　it　would　yet　have　been　easier　to　speak　out



in　the　first　hour　of　discovery。　　He　almost　regretted　not



having　made　a　row　at　once。　　But　then　the　very　mon…



strosity　of　the　disclosure　。　。　。　　Why！　　He　could　hardly



face　it　himself；　let　alone　pointing　it　out　to　somebody



else。　　Moreover；　with　a　desperado　of　that　sort　one　never



knew。　　The　object　was　not　to　get　him　out　（that　was



as　well　as　done　already）；　but　to　step　into　his　place。



Bizarre　as　the　thought　seemed　he　might　have　shown



fight。　　A　fellow　up　to　working　such　a　fraud　would　have



enough　cheek　for　anything；　a　fellow　that；　as　it　were；



stood　up　against　God　Almighty　Himself。　　He　was　a



horrid　marvelthat's　what　he　was：　he　was　perfectly



capable　of　brazening　out　the　affair　scandalously　till　he



got　him　（Sterne）　kicked　out　of　the　ship　and　everlast…



ingly　damaged　his　prospects　in　this　part　of　the　East。



Yet　if　you　want　to　get　on　something　must　be　risked。　　At



times　Sterne　thought　he　had　been　unduly　timid　of　taking



action　in　the　past；　and　what　was　worse；　it　had　come　to



this；　that　in　the　present　he　did　not　seem　to　know　what



action　to　take。







Massy's　savage　moroseness　was　too　disconcerting。　　It



was　an　incalculable　factor　of　the　situation。　　You　could



not　tell　what　there　was　behind　that　insulting　ferocity。



How　could　one　trust　such　a　temper；　it　did　not　put



Sterne　in　bodily　fear　for　himself；　but　it　frightened　him



exceedingly　as　to　his　prospects。







Though　of　course　inclined　to　credit　himself　with　ex…



ceptional　powers　of　observation；　he　had　by　now　lived



too　long　with　his　discovery。　　He　had　gone　on　looking



at　nothing　else；　till　at　last　one　day　it　occurred　to　him



that　the　thing　was　so　obvious　that　no　one　could　miss



seeing　it。　　There　were　four　white　men　in　all　on　board



the　Sofala。　　Jack；　the　second　engineer；　was　too　dull　to



notice　anything　that　took　place　out　of　his　engine…room。



Remained　Massythe　ownerthe　interested　person



nearly　going　mad　with　worry。　　Sterne　had　heard　and



seen　more　than　en