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the professor at the breakfast table-第52部分
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the truth of the matter; and it does rather please me to think that
fifty years from now nobody will know that the place where I lie
does n't hold as stout and straight a man as the best of 'em that
stretch out as if they were proud of the room they take。 You may
get me well; if you can; Sir; if you think it worth while to try;
but I tell you there has been no time for this many a year when the
smell of fresh earth was not sweeter to me than all the flowers that
grow out of it。 There's no anodyne like your good clean gravel;
Sir。 But if you can keep me about awhile; and it amuses you to try;
you may show your skill upon me; if you like。 There is a pleasure
or two that I love the daylight for; and I think the night is not
far off; at best。 I believe I shall sleep now; you may leave me;
and come; if you like; in the morning。
Before I passed out; I took one more glance round the apartment。
The beautiful face of the portrait looked at me; as portraits often
do; with a frightful kind of intelligence in its eyes。 The drapery
fluttered on the still outstretched arm of the tall object near the
window;a crack of this was open; no doubt; and some breath of wind
stirred the hanging folds。 In my excited state; I seemed to see
something ominous in that arm pointing to the heavens。 I thought of
the figures in the Dance of Death at Basle; and that other on the
panels of the covered Bridge at Lucerne; and it seemed to me that
the grim mask who mingles with every crowd and glides over every
threshold was pointing the sick man to his far home; and would soon
stretch out his bony hand and lead him or drag him on the unmeasured
journey towards it。
The fancy had possession of me; and I shivered again as when I first
entered the chamber。 The picture and the shrouded shape; I saw only
these two objects。 They were enough。 The house was deadly still;
and the night…wind; blowing through an open window; struck me as
from a field of ice; at the moment I passed into the creaking
corridor。 As I turned into the common passage; a white figure;
holding a lamp; stood full before me。 I thought at first it was one
of those images made to stand in niches and hold a light in their
hands。 But the illusion was momentary; and my eyes speedily
recovered from the shock of the bright flame and snowy drapery to
see that the figure was a breathing one。 It was Iris; in one of her
statue…trances。 She had come down; whether sleeping or waking; I
knew not at first; led by an instinct that told her she was wanted;…
…or; possibly; having overheard and interpreted the sound of our
movements;or; it may be; having learned from the servant that
there was trouble which might ask for a woman's hand。 I sometimes
think women have a sixth sense; which tells them that others; whom
they cannot see or hear; are in suffering。 How surely we find them
at the bedside of the dying! How strongly does Nature plead for
them; that we should draw our first breath in their arms; as we sigh
away our last upon their faithful breasts!
With white; bare feet; her hair loosely knotted; clad as the
starlight knew her; and the morning when she rose from slumber; save
that she had twisted a scarf round her long dress; she stood still
as a stone before me; holding in one hand a lighted coil of
waxtaper; and in the other a silver goblet。 I held my own lamp
close to her; as if she had been a figure of marble; and she did not
stir。 There was no breach of propriety then; to scare the Poor
Relation with and breed scandal out of。 She had been 〃warned in a
dream;〃 doubtless suggested by her waking knowledge and the sounds
which had reached her exalted sense。 There was nothing more natural
than that she should have risen and girdled her waist; and lighted
her taper; and found the silver goblet with 〃Ex dono pupillorum〃 on
it; from which she had taken her milk and possets through all her
childish years; and so gone blindly out to find her place at the
bedside;a Sister of Charity without the cap and rosary; nay;
unknowing whither her feet were leading her; and with wide blank
eyes seeing nothing but the vision that beckoned her along。 Well;
I must wake her from her slumber or trance。 I called her name; but
she did not heed my voice。
The Devil put it into my head that I would kiss one handsome young
girl before I died; and now was my chance。 She never would know it;
and I should carry the remembrance of it with me into the grave; and
a rose perhaps grow out of my dust; as a brier did out of Lord
Lovers; in memory of that immortal moment! Would it wake her from
her trance? and would she see me in the flush of my stolen triumph;
and hate and despise me ever after? Or should I carry off my trophy
undetected; and always from that time say to myself; when I looked
upon her in the glory of youth and the splendor of beauty; 〃My lips
have touched those roses and made their sweetness mine forever〃?
You think my cheek was flushed; perhaps; and my eyes were glittering
with this midnight flash of opportunity。 On the contrary; I believe
I was pale; very pale; and I know that I trembled。 Ah; it is the
pale passions that are the fiercest;it is the violence of the
chill that gives the measure of the fever! The fighting…boy of our
school always turned white when he went out to a pitched battle with
the bully of some neighboring village; but we knew what his
bloodless cheeks meant;the blood was all in his stout heart;he
was a slight boy; and there was not enough to redden his face and
fill his heart both at once。
Perhaps it is making a good deal of a slight matter; to tell the
internal conflicts in the heart of a quiet person something more
than juvenile and something less than senile; as to whether he
should be guilty of an impropriety; and; if he were; whether he
would get caught in his indiscretion。 And yet the memory of the
kiss that Margaret of Scotland gave to Alain Chartier has lasted
four hundred years; and put it into the head of many an ill…favored
poet; whether Victoria; or Eugenie; would do as much by him; if she
happened to pass him when he was asleep。 And have we ever forgotten
that the fresh cheek of the young John Milton tingled under the lips
of some high…born Italian beauty; who; I believe; did not think to
leave her card by the side of the slumbering youth; but has
bequeathed the memory of her pretty deed to all coming time? The
sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon; but its echo
lasts a deal longer。
There is one disadvantage which the man of philosophical habits of
mind suffers; as compared with the man of action。 While he is
taking an enlarged and rational view of the matter before him; he
lets his chance slip through his fingers。 Iris woke up; of her own
accord; before I had made up my mind what I was going to do about
it。
When I remember how charmingly she looked; I don't blame myself at
all for being tempted; but if I had been fool enough to yield to the
impulse; I should certainly have been ashamed to tell of it。 She
did not know what to make of it; finding herself there alone; in
such guise; and me staring at her。 She looked down at her white
robe and bare feet; and colored;then at the goblet she held in her
hand; then at the taper; and at last her thoughts seemed to clear
up。
I know it all;she said。 He is going to die; and I must go and
sit by him。 Nobody will care for him as I shall; and I have nobody
else to care for。
I assured her that nothing was needed for him that night but rest;
and persuaded her that the excitement of her presence could only do
harm。 Let him sleep; and he would very probably awake better in the
morning。 There was nothing to be said; for I spoke with authority;
and the young girl glided away with noiseless step and sought her
own chamber。
The tremor passed away from my limbs; and the blood began to burn in
my cheeks。 The beautiful image which had so bewitched me faded
gradually from my imagination; and I returned to the still
perplexing mysteries of my little neighbor's chamber。
All was still there now。 No plaintive sounds; no monotonous
murmurs; no shutting of windows and doors at strange hours; as if
something or somebody were coming in or going out; or there was
something to be hidden in those dark mahogany presses。 Is there an
inner apartment that I have not seen? The way in which the house is
built might admit of it。 As I thought it over; I at once imagined a
Bluebeard's chamber。 Suppose; for instance; that the narrow
bookshelves to the right are really only a masked door; such as we
remember leading to the private study of one of our most
distinguished townsmen; who loved to steal away from his stately
library to that little silent cell。 If this were lighted from
above; a person or persons might pass their days there without
attracting attention from the household; and wander whe
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