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the lily of the valley-第19部分

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his rank entitled him at the Maison Rouge。 We are quite content that

my father should have the place。 This forced modesty;〃 she added with

some bitterness; 〃has already been of service to our son。 The king; to

whose household my father is appointed; said very graciously that he

would show Jacques the favor we were not willing to accept。 Jacques'

education; which must now be thought of; is already being discussed。

He will be the representative of two houses; the Lenoncourt and the

Mortsauf families。 I can have no ambition except for him; and

therefore my anxieties seem to have increased。 Not only must Jacques

live; but he must be made worthy of his name; two necessities which;

as you know; conflict。 And then; later; what friend will keep him safe

for me in Paris; where all things are pitfalls for the soul and

dangers for the body? My friend;〃 she said; in a broken voice; 〃who

could not see upon your brow and in your eyes that you are one who

will inhabit heights? Be some day the guardian and sponsor of our boy。

Go to Paris; if your father and brother will not second you; our

family; above all my mother; who has a genius for the management of

life; will help you。 Profit by our influence; you will never be

without support in whatever career you choose; put the strength of

your desires into a noble ambition〃



〃I understand you;〃 I said; interrupting her; 〃ambition is to be my

mistress。 I have no need of that to be wholly yours。 No; I will not be

rewarded for my obedience here by receiving favors there。 I will go; I

will make my own way; I will rise alone。 From you I would accept

everything; from others nothing。〃



〃Child!〃 she murmured; ill…concealing a smile of pleasure。



〃Besides; I have taken my vows;〃 I went on。 〃Thinking over our

situation I am resolved to bind myself to you by ties that never can

be broken。〃



She trembled slightly and stopped short to look at me。



〃What do you mean?〃 she asked; letting the couples who preceded us

walk on; and keeping the children at her side。



〃This;〃 I said; 〃but first tell me frankly how you wish me to love

you。〃



〃Love me as my aunt loved me; I gave you her rights when I permitted

you to call me by the name which she chose for her own among my

others。〃



〃Then I am to love without hope and with an absolute devotion。 Well;

yes; I will do for you what some men do for God。 I shall feel that you

have asked it。 I will enter a seminary and make myself a priest; and

then I will educate your son。 Jacques shall be myself in his own form;

political conceptions; thoughts; energy; patience; I will give him

all。 In that way I shall live near to you; and my love; enclosed in

religion as a silver image in a crystal shrine; can never be suspected

of evil。 You will not have to fear the undisciplined passions which

grasp a man and by which already I have allowed myself to be

vanquished。 I will consume my own being in the flame; and I will love

you with a purified love。〃



She turned pale and said; hurrying her words: 〃Felix; do not put

yourself in bonds that might prove an obstacle to our happiness。 I

should die of grief for having caused a suicide like that。 Child; do

you think despairing love a life's vocation? Wait for life's trials

before you judge of life; I command it。 Marry neither the Church nor a

woman; marry not at all;I forbid it。 Remain free。 You are twenty…one

years oldMy God! can I have mistaken him? I thought two months

sufficed to know some souls。〃



〃What hope have you?〃 I cried; with fire in my eyes。



〃My friend; accept our help; rise in life; make your way and your

fortune and you shall know my hope。 And;〃 she added; as if she were

whispering a secret; 〃never release the hand you are holding at this

moment。〃



She bent to my ear as she said these words which proved her deep

solicitude for my future。



〃Madeleine!〃 I exclaimed 〃never!〃



We were close to a wooden gate which opened into the park of Frapesle;

I still seem to see its ruined posts overgrown with climbing plants

and briers and mosses。 Suddenly an idea; that of the count's death;

flashed through my brain; and I said; 〃I understand you。〃



〃I am glad of it;〃 she answered in a tone which made me know I had

supposed her capable of a thought that could never be hers。



Her purity drew tears of admiration from my eyes which the selfishness

of passion made bitter indeed。 My mind reacted and I felt that she did

not love me enough even to wish for liberty。 So long as love recoils

from a crime it seems to have its limits; and love should be infinite。

A spasm shook my heart。



〃She does not love me;〃 I thought。



To hide what was in my soul I stooped over Madeleine and kissed her

hair。



〃I am afraid of your mother;〃 I said to the countess presently; to

renew the conversation。



〃So am I;〃 she answered with a gesture full of childlike gaiety。

〃Don't forget to call her Madame la duchesse; and to speak to her in

the third person。 The young people of the present day have lost these

polite manners; you must learn them; do that for my sake。 Besides; it

is such good taste to respect women; no matter what their age may be;

and to recognize social distinctions without disputing them。 The

respect shown to established superiority is guarantee for that which

is due to you。 Solidarity is the basis of society。 Cardinal Della

Rovere and Raffaelle were two powers equally revered。 You have sucked

the milk of the Revolution in your academy and your political ideas

may be influenced by it; but as you advance in life you will find that

crude and ill…defined principles of liberty are powerless to create

the happiness of the people。 Before considering; as a Lenoncourt; what

an aristocracy ought to be; my common…sense as a woman of the people

tells me that societies can exist only through a hierarchy。 You are

now at a turning…point in your life; when you must choose wisely。 Be

on our side;especially now;〃 she added; laughing; 〃when it

triumphs。〃



I was keenly touched by these words; in which the depth of her

political feeling mingled with the warmth of affection;a combination

which gives to women so great a power of persuasion; they know how to

give to the keenest arguments a tone of feeling。 In her desire to

justify all her husband's actions Henriette had foreseen the

criticisms that would rise in my mind as soon as I saw the servile

effects of a courtier's life upon him。 Monsieur de Mortsauf; king in

his own castle and surrounded by an historic halo; had; to my eyes; a

certain grandiose dignity。 I was therefore greatly astonished at the

distance he placed between the duchess and himself by manners that

were nothing less than obsequious。 A slave has his pride and will only

serve the greatest despots。 I confess I was humiliated at the

degradation of one before whom I trembled as the power that ruled my

love。 This inward repulsion made me understand the martyrdom of women

of generous souls yoked to men whose meannesses they bury daily。

Respect is a safeguard which protects both great and small alike; each

side can hold its own。 I was respectful to the duchess because of my

youth; but where others saw only a duchess I saw the mother of my

Henriette; and that gave sanctity to my homage。



We reached the great court…yard of Frapesle; where we found the

others。 The Comte de Mortsauf presented me very gracefully to the

duchess; who examined me with a cold and reserved air。 Madame de

Lenoncourt was then a woman fifty…six years of age; wonderfully well

preserved and with grand manners。 When I saw the hard blue eyes; the

hollow temples; the thin emaciated face; the erect; imposing figure

slow of movement; and the yellow whiteness of the skin (reproduced

with such brilliancy in the daughter); I recognized the cold type to

which my own mother belonged; as quickly as a mineralogist recognizes

Swedish iron。 Her language was that of the old court; she pronounced

the 〃oit〃 like 〃ait;〃 and said 〃frait〃 for 〃froid;〃 〃porteux〃 for

〃porteurs。〃 I was not a courtier; neither was I stiff…backed in my

manner to her; in fact I behaved so well that as I passed the countess

she said in a low voice; 〃You are perfect。〃



The count came to me and took my hand; saying: 〃You are not angry with

me; Felix; are you? If I was hasty you will pardon an old soldier? We

shall probably stay here to dinner; and I invite you to dine with us

on Thursday; the evening before the duchess leaves。 I must go to Tours

to…morrow to settle some business。 Don't neglect Clochegourde。 My

mother…in…law is an acquaintance I advise you to cultivate。 Her salon

will set the tone for the faubourg St。 Germain。 She has all the

traditions of the great world; and possesses an immense amount of

social knowledge; she knows the blazon of the oldest as well as the

newest family in Europe。〃



The count's good taste; or perhaps the advice of his domestic genius;

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