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the lily of the valley-第23部分

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crisp details; its delicate contrasts; its arabesques of color; and

allow the sovereign lady to see a tear upon some petal more expanded

than the rest。 What do we give to God? perfumes; light; and song; the

purest expression of our nature。 Well; these offerings to God; are

they not likewise offered to love in this poem of luminous flowers

murmuring their sadness to the heart; cherishing its hidden

transports; its unuttered hopes; its illusions which gleam and fall to

fragments like the gossamer of a summer's night?



Such neutral pleasures help to soothe a nature irritated by long

contemplation of the person beloved。 They were to me; I dare not say

to her; like those fissures in a dam through which the water finds a

vent and avoids disaster。 Abstinence brings deadly exhaustion; which a

few crumbs falling from heaven like manna in the desert; suffices to

relieve。 Sometimes I found my Henriette standing before these bouquets

with pendant arms; lost in agitated reverie; thoughts swelling her

bosom; illumining her brow as they surged in waves and sank again;

leaving lassitude and languor behind them。 Never again have I made a

bouquet for any one。 When she and I had created this language and

formed it to our uses; a satisfaction filled our souls like that of a

slave who escapes his masters。



During the rest of this month as I came from the meadows through the

gardens I often saw her face at the window; and when I reached the

salon she was ready at her embroidery frame。 If I did not arrive at

the hour expected (though never appointed); I saw a white form

wandering on the terrace; and when I joined her she would say; 〃I came

to meet you; I must show a few attentions to my youngest child。〃



The miserable games of backgammon had come to end。 The count's late

purchases took all his time in going hither and thither about the

property; surveying; examining; and marking the boundaries of his new

possessions。 He had orders to give; rural works to overlook which

needed a master's eye;all of them planned and decided on by his wife

and himself。 We often went to meet him; the countess and I; with the

children; who amused themselves on the way by running after insects;

stag…beetles; darning…needles; they too making their bouquets; or to

speak more truly; their bundles of flowers。 To walk beside the woman

we love; to take her on our arm; to guide her steps;these are

illimitable joys that suffice a lifetime。 Confidence is then complete。

We went alone; we returned with the 〃general;〃 a title given to the

count when he was good…humored。 These two ways of taking the same path

gave light and shade to our pleasure; a secret known only to hearts

debarred from union。 Our talk; so free as we went; had hidden

significations as we returned; when either of us gave an answer to

some furtive interrogation; or continued a subject; already begun; in

the enigmatic phrases to which our language lends itself; and which

women are so ingenious in composing。 Who has not known the pleasure of

such secret understandings in a sphere apart from those about us; a

sphere where spirits meet outside of social laws?



One day a wild hope; quickly dispelled; took possession of me; when

the count; wishing to know what we were talking of; put the inquiry;

and Henriette answered in words that allowed another meaning; which

satisfied him。 This amused Madeleine; who laughed; after a moment her

mother blushed and gave me a forbidding look; as if to say she might

still withdraw from me her soul as she had once withdrawn her hand。

But our purely spiritual union had far too many charms; and on the

morrow it continued as before。



The hours; days; and weeks fled by; filled with renascent joys。 Grape

harvest; the festal season in Touraine; began。 Toward the end of

September the sun; less hot than during the wheat harvest; allows of

our staying in the vineyards without danger of becoming overheated。 It

is easier to gather grapes than to mow wheat。 Fruits of all kinds are

ripe; harvests are garnered; bread is less dear; the sense of plenty

makes the country people happy。 Fears as to the results of rural toil;

in which more money than sweat is often spent; vanish before a full

granary and cellars about to overflow。 The vintage is then like a gay

dessert after the dinner is eaten; the skies of Touraine; where the

autumns are always magnificent; smile upon it。 In this hospitable land

the vintagers are fed and lodged in the master's house。 The meals are

the only ones throughout the year when these poor people taste

substantial; well…cooked food; and they cling to the custom as the

children of patriarchal families cling to anniversaries。 As the time

approaches they flock in crowds to those houses where the masters are

known to treat the laborers liberally。 The house is full of people and

of provisions。 The presses are open。 The country is alive with the

coming and going of itinerant coopers; of carts filled with laughing

girls and joyous husbandmen; who earn better wages than at any other

time during the year; and who sing as they go。 There is also another

cause of pleasurable content: classes and ranks are equal; women;

children; masters; and men; all that little world; share in the

garnering of the divine hoard。 These various elements of satisfaction

explain the hilarity of the vintage; transmitted from age to age in

these last glorious days of autumn; the remembrance of which inspired

Rabelais with the bacchic form of his great work。



The children; Jacques and Madeleine; had never seen a vintage; I was

like them; and they were full of infantine delight at finding a sharer

of their pleasure; their mother; too; promised to accompany us。 We

went to Villaines; where baskets are manufactured; in quest of the

prettiest that could be bought; for we four were to cut certain rows

reserved for our scissors; it was; however; agreed that none of us

were to eat too many grapes。 To eat the fat bunches of Touraine in a

vineyard seemed so delicious that we all refused the finest grapes on

the dinner…table。 Jacques made me swear I would go to no other

vineyard; but stay closely at Clochegourde。 Never were these frail

little beings; usually pallid and smiling; so fresh and rosy and

active as they were this morning。 They chattered for chatter's sake;

and trotted about without apparent object; they suddenly seemed; like

other children; to have more life than they needed; neither Monsieur

nor Madame de Mortsauf had ever seen them so before。 I became a child

again with them; more of a child than either of them; perhaps; I; too;

was hoping for my harvest。 It was glorious weather when we went to the

vineyard; and we stayed there half the day。 How we disputed as to who

had the finest grapes and who could fill his basket quickest! The

little human shoots ran to and fro from the vines to their mother; not

a bunch could be cut without showing it to her。 She laughed with the

good; gay laugh of her girlhood when I; running up with my basket

after Madeleine; cried out; 〃Mine too! See mine; mamma!〃 To which she

answered: 〃Don't get overheated; dear child。〃 Then passing her hand

round my neck and through my hair; she added; giving me a little tap

on the cheek; 〃You are melting away。〃 It was the only caress she ever

gave me。 I looked at the pretty line of purple clusters; the hedges

full of haws and blackberries; I heard the voices of the children; I

watched the trooping girls; the cart loaded with barrels; the men with

the panniers。 Ah; it is all engraved on my memory; even to the almond…

tree beside which she stood; girlish; rosy; smiling; beneath the

sunshade held open in her hand。 Then I busied myself in cutting the

bunches and filling my basket; going forward to empty it in the vat;

silently; with measured bodily movement and slow steps that left my

spirit free。 I discovered then the ineffable pleasure of an external

labor which carries life along; and thus regulates the rush of

passion; often so near; but for this mechanical motion; to kindle into

flame。 I learned how much wisdom is contained in uniform labor; I

understood monastic discipline。



For the first time in many days the count was neither surly nor cruel。

His son was so well; the future Duc de Lenoncourt…Mortsauf; fair and

rosy and stained with grape…juice; rejoiced his heart。 This day being

the last of the vintage; he had promised a dance in front of

Clochegourde in honor of the return of the Bourbons; so that our

festival gratified everybody。 As we returned to the house; the

countess took my arm and leaned upon it; as if to let my heart feel

the weight of hers;the instinctive movement of a mother who seeks to

convey her joy。 Then she whispered in my ear; 〃You bring us

happiness。〃



Ah; to me; who knew her sleepless nights; her cares; her fears; her

former existence; in which; although the hand of God sustained her;

all was barren and wearisome; those words u
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