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the lily of the valley-第36部分

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influential personages of the Faubourg St。 Germain。



Henriette herself put me at the heart of the circle then called 〃le

Petit Chateau〃 by the help of her great…aunt; the Princesse de

Blamont…Chauvry; to whom she wrote so warmly in my behalf that the

princess immediately sent for me。 I cultivated her and contrived to

please her; and she became; not my protectress but a friend; in whose

kindness there was something maternal。 The old lady took pains to make

me intimate with her daughter Madame d'Espard; with the Duchesse de

Langeais; the Vicomtesse de Beauseant; and the Duchesse de

Maufrigneuse; women who held the sceptre of fashion; and who were all

the more gracious to me because I made no pretensions and was always

ready to be useful and agreeable to them。 My brother Charles; far from

avoiding me; now began to lean upon me; but my rapid success roused a

secret jealousy in his mind which in after years caused me great

vexation。 My father and mother; surprised by a triumph so unexpected;

felt their vanity flattered; and received me at last as a son。 But

their feeling was too artificial; I might say false; to let their

present treatment have much influence upon a sore heart。 Affectations

stained with selfishness win little sympathy; the heart abhors

calculations and profits of all kinds。



I wrote regularly to Henriette; who answered by two letters a month。

Her spirit hovered over me; her thoughts traversed space and made the

atmosphere around me pure。 No woman could captivate me。 The king

noticed my reserve; and as; in this respect; he belonged to the school

of Louis XV。; he called me; in jest; Mademoiselle de Vandenesse; but

my conduct pleased him。 I am convinced that the habit of patience I

acquired in my childhood and practised at Clochegourde had much to do

in my winning the favor of the king; who was always most kind to me。

He no doubt took a fancy to read my letters; for he soon gave up his

notion of my life as that of a young girl。 One day when the duke was

on duty; and I was writing at the king's dictation; the latter

suddenly remarked; in that fine; silvery voice of his; to which he

could give; when he chose; the biting tone of epigram:



〃So that poor devil of a Mortsauf persists in living?〃



〃Yes;〃 replied the duke。



〃Madame de Mortsauf is an angel; whom I should like to see at my

court;〃 continued the king; 〃but if I cannot manage it; my chancellor

here;〃 turning to me; 〃may be more fortunate。 You are to have six

months' leave; I have decided on giving you the young man we spoke of

yesterday as colleague。 Amuse yourself at Clochegourde; friend Cato!〃

and he laughed as he had himself wheeled out of the room。



I flew like a swallow to Touraine。 For the first time I was to show

myself to my beloved; not merely a little less insignificant; but

actually in the guise of an elegant young man; whose manners had been

formed in the best salons; his education finished by gracious women;

who had found at last a compensation for all his sufferings; and had

put to use the experience given to him by the purest angel to whom

heaven had ever committed the care of a child。 You know how my mother

had equipped me for my three months' visit at Frapesle。 When I reached

Clochegourde after fulfilling my mission in Vendee; I was dressed like

a huntsman; I wore a jacket with white and red buttons; striped

trousers; leathern gaiters and shoes。 Tramping through underbrush had

so injured my clothes that the count was obliged to lend me linen。 On

the present occasion; two years' residence in Paris; constant

intercourse with the king; the habits of a life at ease; my completed

growth; a youthful countenance; which derived a lustre from the

placidity of the soul within magnetically united with the pure soul

that beamed on me from Clochegourde;all these things combined had

transformed me。 I was self…possessed without conceit; inwardly pleased

to find myself; in spite of my years; at the summit of affairs; above

all; I had the consciousness of being secretly the support and comfort

of the dearest woman on earth; and her unuttered hope。 Perhaps I felt

a flutter of vanity as the postilions cracked their whips along the

new avenue leading from the main road to Clochegourde and through an

iron gate I had never seen before; which opened into a circular

enclosure recently constructed。 I had not written to the countess of

my coming; wishing to surprise her。 For this I found myself doubly in

fault: first; she was overwhelmed with the excitement of a pleasure

long desired; but supposed to be impossible; and secondly; she proved

to me that all such deliberate surprises are in bad taste。



When Henriette saw a young man in him who had hitherto seemed but a

child to her; she lowered her eyes with a sort of tragic slowness。 She

allowed me to take and kiss her hand without betraying her inward

pleasure; which I nevertheless felt in her sensitive shiver。 When she

raised her face to look at me again; I saw that she was pale。



〃Well; you don't forget your old friends?〃 said Monsieur de Mortsauf;

who had neither changed nor aged。



The children sprang upon me。 I saw them behind the grave face of the

Abbe Dominis; Jacques' tutor。



〃No;〃 I replied; 〃and in future I am to have six months' leave; which

will always be spent hereWhy; what is the matter?〃 I said to the

countess; putting my arm round her waist and holding her up in

presence of them all。



〃Oh; don't!〃 she said; springing away from me; 〃it is nothing。〃



I read her mind; and answered to its secret thought by saying; 〃Am I

not allowed to be your faithful slave?〃



She took my arm; left the count; the children; and the abbe; and led

me to a distance on the lawn; though still within sight of the others;

then; when sure that her voice could not be heard by them; she spoke。



〃Felix; my dear friend;〃 she said; 〃forgive my fears; I have but one

thread by which to guide me in the labyrinth of life; and I dread to

see it broken。 Tell me that I am more than ever Henriette to you; that

you will never abandon me; that nothing shall prevail against me; that

you will ever be my devoted friend。 I have suddenly had a glimpse into

my future; and you were not there; as hitherto; your eyes shining and

fixed upon me〃



〃Henriette! idol whose worship is like that of the Divine;lily;

flower of my life; how is it that you do not know; you who are my

conscience; that my being is so fused with yours that my soul is here

when my body is in Paris? Must I tell you that I have come in

seventeen hours; that each turn of the wheels gathered thoughts and

desires in my breast; which burst forth like a tempest when I saw

you?〃



〃Yes; tell me! tell me!〃 she cried; 〃I am so sure of myself that I can

hear you without wrong。 God does not will my death。 He sends you to me

as he sends his breath to his creatures; as he pours the rain of his

clouds upon a parched earth;tell me! tell me! Do you love me

sacredly?〃



〃Sacredly。〃



〃For ever?〃



〃For ever。〃



〃As a virgin Mary; hidden behind her veil; beneath her white crown。〃



〃As a virgin visible。〃



〃As a sister?〃



〃As a sister too dearly loved。〃



〃With chivalry and without hope?〃



〃With chivalry and with hope。〃



〃As if you were still twenty years of age; and wearing that absurd

blue coat?〃



〃Oh better far! I love you thus; and I also love you〃she looked at

me with keen apprehension〃as you loved your aunt。〃



〃I am happy! You dispel my terrors;〃 she said; returning towards the

family; who were surprised at our private conference。 〃Be still a

child at Clochegourdefor you are one still。 It may be your policy to

be a man with the king; but here; let me tell you; monsieur; your best

policy is to remain a child。 As a child you shall be loved。 I can

resist a man; but to a child I can refuse nothing; nothing! He can ask

for nothing I will not give him。Our secrets are all told;〃 she said;

looking at the count with a mischievous air; in which her girlish;

natural self reappeared。 〃I leave you now; I must go and dress。〃



Never for three years had I heard her voice so richly happy。 For the

first time I heard those swallow cries; the infantile notes of which I

told you。 I had brought Jacques a hunting outfit; and for Madeleine a

work…boxwhich her mother afterwards used。 The joy of the two

children; delighted to show their presents to each other; seemed to

annoy the count; always dissatisfied when attention was withdrawn from

himself。 I made a sign to Madeleine and followed her father; who

wanted to talk to me of his ailments。



〃My poor Felix;〃 he said; 〃you see how happy and well they all are。 I

am the shadow on the picture; all their ills are transferred to me;

and I bless God that it is so。 Formerly I did not know what was the

matter with me; now I know。 The orifice of my stomach is affected; I

can digest nothing。〃



〃How 
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