the lily of the valley-第52部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


like　the　gentlemen　of　the　road　in　England；　is　not　at　all　within　my

code　of　manners。　You　poor　child；　you　know　only　how　to　love；　you　don't

know　how　to　live。　Besides；　I　am　not　like　you　as　yet；　dear　angel；　I

don't　like　morality。　Still；　I　am　capable　of　great　efforts　to　please

you。　Yes；　I　will　go　to　work；　I　will　learn　how　to　preach；　you　shall

have　no　more　kisses　without　verses　of　the　Bible　interlarded。〃



She　used　her　power　and　abused　it　as　soon　as　she　saw　in　my　eyes　the

ardent　expression　which　was　always　there　when　she　began　her　sorceries。

She　triumphed　over　everything；　and　I　complacently　told　myself　that　the

woman　who　loses　all；　sacrifices　the　future；　and　makes　love　her　only

virtue；　is　far　above　Catholic　polemics。



〃So　she　loves　herself　better　than　she　loves　you？〃　Arabella　went　on。

〃She　sets　something　that　is　not　you　above　you。　Is　that　love？　how　can

we　women　find　anything　to　value　in　ourselves　except　that　which　you

value　in　us？　No　woman；　no　matter　how　fine　a　moralist　she　may　be；　is

the　equal　of　a　man。　Tread　upon　us；　kill　us；　never　embarrass　your　lives

on　our　account。　It　is　for　us　to　die；　for　you　to　live；　great　and

honored。　For　us　the　dagger　in　your　hand；　for　you　our　pardoning　love。

Does　the　sun　think　of　the　gnats　in　his　beams；　that　live　by　his　light？

they　stay　as　long　as　they　can　and　when　he　withdraws　his　face　they

die〃



〃Or　fly　somewhere　else；〃　I　said　interrupting　her。



〃Yes；　somewhere　else；〃　she　replied；　with　an　indifference　that　would

have　piqued　any　man　into　using　the　power　with　which　she　invested　him。

〃Do　you　really　think　it　is　worthy　of　womanhood　to　make　a　man　eat　his

bread　buttered　with　virtue；　and　to　persuade　him　that　religion　is

incompatible　with　love？　Am　I　a　reprobate？　A　woman　either　gives　herself

or　she　refuses。　But　to　refuse　and　moralize　is　a　double　wrong；　and　is

contrary　to　the　rule　of　the　right　in　all　lands。　Here；　you　will　get

only　excellent　sandwiches　prepared　by　the　hand　of　your　servant

Arabella；　whose　sole　morality　is　to　imagine　caresses　no　man　has　yet

felt　and　which　the　angels　inspire。〃



I　know　nothing　more　destructive　than　the　wit　of　an　Englishwoman；　she

gives　it　the　eloquent　gravity；　the　tone　of　pompous　conviction　with

which　the　British　hide　the　absurdities　of　their　life　of　prejudice。

French　wit　and　humor；　on　the　other　hand；　is　like　a　lace　with　which　our

women　adorn　the　joys　they　give　and　the　quarrels　they　invent；　it　is　a

mental　jewelry；　as　charming　as　their　pretty　dresses。　English　wit　is　an

acid　which　corrodes　all　those　on　whom　it　falls　until　it　bares　their

bones；　which　it　scrapes　and　polishes。　The　tongue　of　a　clever

Englishwoman　is　like　that　of　a　tiger　tearing　the　flesh　from　the　bone

when　he　is　only　in　play。　All…powerful　weapon　of　a　sneering　devil；

English　satire　leaves　a　deadly　poison　in　the　wound　it　makes。　Arabella

chose　to　show　her　power　like　the　sultan　who；　to　prove　his　dexterity；

cut　off　the　heads　of　unoffending　beings　with　his　own　scimitar。



〃My　angel；〃　she　said；　〃I　can　talk　morality　too　if　I　choose。　I　have

asked　myself　whether　I　commit　a　crime　in　loving　you；　whether　I　violate

the　divine　laws；　and　I　find　that　my　love　for　you　is　both　natural　and

pious。　Why　did　God　create　some　beings　handsomer　than　others　if　not　to

show　us　that　we　ought　to　adore　them？　The　crime　would　be　in　not　loving

you。　This　lady　insults　you　by　confounding　you　with　other　men；　the　laws

of　morality　are　not　applicable　to　you；　for　God　has　created　you　above

them。　Am　I　not　drawing　nearer　to　divine　love　in　loving　you？　will　God

punish　a　poor　woman　for　seeking　the　divine？　Your　great　and　luminous

heart　so　resembles　the　heavens　that　I　am　like　the　gnats　which　flutter

about　the　torches　of　a　fete　and　burn　themselves；　are　they　to　be

punished　for　their　error？　besides；　is　it　an　error？　may　it　not　be　pure

worship　of　the　light？　They　perish　of　too　much　piety；if　you　call　it

perishing　to　fling　one's　self　on　the　breast　of　him　we　love。　I　have　the

weakness　to　love　you；　whereas　that　woman　has　the　strength　to　remain　in

her　Catholic　shrine。　Now；　don't　frown。　You　think　I　wish　her　ill。　No；　I

do　not。　I　adore　the　morality　which　has　led　her　to　leave　you　free；　and

enables　me　to　win　you　and　hold　you　foreverfor　you　are　mine　forever；

are　you　not？〃



〃Yes。〃



〃Forever　and　ever？〃



〃Yes。〃



〃Ah！　I　have　found　favor　in　my　lord！　I　alone　have　understood　his　worth！

She　knows　how　to　cultivate　her　estate；　you　say。　Well；　I　leave　that　to

farmers；　I　cultivate　your　heart。〃



I　try　to　recall　this　intoxicating　babble；　that　I　may　picture　to　you

the　woman　as　she　is；　confirm　all　I　have　said　of　her；　and　let　you　into

the　secret　of　what　happened　later。　But　how　shall　I　describe　the

accompaniment　of　the　words？　She　sought　to　annihilate　by　the　passion　of

her　impetuous　love　the　impressions　left　in　my　heart　by　the　chaste　and

dignified　love　of　my　Henriette。　Lady　Dudley　had　seen　the　countess　as

plainly　as　the　countess　had　seen　her；　each　had　judged　the　other。　The

force　of　Arabella's　attack　revealed　to　me　the　extent　of　her　fear；　and

her　secret　admiration　for　her　rival。　In　the　morning　I　found　her　with

tearful　eyes；　complaining　that　she　had　not　slept。



〃What　troubles　you？〃　I　said。



〃I　fear　that　my　excessive　love　will　ruin　me；〃　she　answered；　〃I　have

given　all。　Wiser　than　I；　that　woman　possesses　something　that　you　still

desire。　If　you　prefer　her；　forget　me；　I　will　not　trouble　you　with　my

sorrows；　my　remorse；　my　sufferings；　no；　I　will　go　far　away　and　die；

like　a　plant　deprived　of　the　life…giving　sun。〃



She　was　able　to　wring　protestations　of　love　from　my　reluctant　lips；

which　filled　her　with　joy。



〃Ah！〃　she　exclaimed；　drying　her　eyes；　〃I　am　happy。　Go　back　to　her；　I

do　not　choose　to　owe　you　to　the　force　of　my　love；　but　to　the　action　of

your　own　will。　If　you　return　here　I　shall　know　that　you　love　me　as

much　as　I　love　you；　the　possibility　of　which　I　have　always　doubted。〃



She　persuaded　me　to　return　to　Clochegourde。　The　false　position　in

which　I　thus　placed　myself　did　not　strike　me　while　still　under　the

influence　of　her　wiles。　Yet；　had　I　refused　to　return　I　should　have

given　Lady　Dudley　a　triumph　over　Henriette。　Arabella　would　then　have

taken　me　to　Paris。　To　go　now　to　Clochegourde　was　an　open　insult　to

Madame　de　Mortsauf；　in　that　case　Arabella　was　sure　of　me。　Did　any

woman　ever　pardon　such　crimes　against　love？　Unless　she　were　an　angel

descended　from　the　skies；　instead　of　a　purified　spirit　ascending　to

them；　a　loving　woman　would　rather　see　her　lover　die　than　know　him

happy　with　another。　Thus；　look　at　it　as　I　would；　my　situation；　after　I

had　once　left　Clochegourde　for　the　Grenadiere；　was　as　fatal　to　the

love　of　my　choice　as　it　was　profitable　to　the　transient　love　that　held

me。　Lady　Dudley　had　calculated　all　this　with　consummate　cleverness。

She　owned　to　me　later　that　if　she　had　not　met　Madame　de　Mortsauf　on

the　moor　she　had　intended　to　compromise　me　by　haunting　Clochegourde

until　she　did　so。



When　I　met　the　countess　that　morning；　and　found　her　pale　and　depressed

like　one　who　has　not　slept　all　night；　I　was　conscious　of　exercising

the　instinctive　perception　given　to　hearts　still　fresh　and　generous　to

show　them　the　true　bearing　of　actions　little　regarded　by　the　world　at

large；　but　judged　as　criminal　by　lofty　spirits。　Like　a　child　going

down　a　precipice　in　play　and　gathering　flowers；　who　sees　with　dread

that　it　can　never　climb　that　height　again；　feels　itself　alone；　with

night　approaching；　and　hears　the　howls　of　animals；　so　I　now　knew　that

she　and　I　were　separated　by　a　universe。　A　wail　arose　within　our　souls

like　an　echo　of　that　woeful　〃Consummatum　est〃　heard　in　the　churches　on

Good　Friday　at　the　hour　the　Saviour　died；a　dreadful　scene　which　awes

young　souls　whose　first　love　is　religion。　All　Henriette's　illusions

were　killed　at　one　blow；　her　heart　had　endured　its　passion。　She　did

not　look　at　me；　she　refused　me　the　light　that　for　six　long　years　had

shone　upon　my　life。　She　knew　well　that　the　spring　of　the　effulgent

rays　shed　by　our　eyes　was　in　our　souls；　to　which　they　served　as

pathways　to　reach　each　other；　to　blend　them　in　one；　meeting；　parting；

playing；　like　two　confiding　women　who　tell　each　other　all。　Bitterly　I

felt　the　wrong　of　bringing　beneath　this　roof；　where　pleasure　was

unknown；　a　face　on　which　the　wings　of　pleasure　had　shaken　their

prismatic　dust。　If；　the　night　before；　I　had　allowed　Lady　Dudley　to

depart　alone；　if　I　had　then　returned　to　Clochegourde；　where；　it　may

be；　Henriette　awaited　me；　perhapsperhaps　Madame　de　Mortsauf　might

not　so　cruelly　have　resolved　to　be　my　sister。　But　now　she　paid　me　many

ostentatious　attentions；playing　her　part　vehemently　for　the　very

purpose　of　not　changing　it。　During　breakfast　she　showed　me　a　thousand

civilities；　humiliating　attentions；　caring　for　me　as　though　I　were　a

sick　man　whose　fate　she　pitied。



〃You　were　out　walking　early；〃　said　the　count；　〃I　hope　you　have　brought

back　a　good　appetite；　you　whose　stomach　is　not　yet　destroyed。〃



This